Old Skewl Chikara

[Thomas (TK)]

reGENESIS
1.1.15.1

Kumanmoto was the location of the newest iPPV of Chikara and the fans in attendance sounded their approval as an enormous fireworks display exploded over the stadium. Bryce Remsberg walked down to the squared circle and announced the participants of the opening bout.


In the opening bout, Brodie Lee (seconded by Archibald Peck) defeated Ares via. BIG BOOT (1/2 *);

In tag action; Incoherence ran circles around Throwbacks, after Hallowicked put down Sugar Dunkerton with a HEADLESS HORSEMAN finisher (*);

In an 1-on-1 match, Satyrne outwrestled Jarvis Cottonbelly with a RINGS OF SATURYNE (1/2*);

After the bout, GAVIN LOUDSPEAKER climbed through the ropes and with microphone in hand announced that Chikara is planning on hosting the first ever KING OF TRIOS tournament during February. The Chikara leadership extended an invitation to the sister federations of the WWA to enter teams of their own. Gavin went on to explain for to those that did not know what the KING OF TRIOS tournament entailed- the event is a three day tournament, that instead of tag teams, there are trios that will compete in six-man tag team matches to see which of them will advance and hopefully win the tournament.

In a TRANGLE TRIOS MATCH, The Baltic Siege won against The Swarm and The Colony; after Latvian Proud Oak used a TREE TOP DROP on deviANT for the duke (***);

3.0 ruined The Batari's debut; after Scott Parker caught Obariyon in a go-behind back suplex (* 1/2);

In singles action, Kobold leveled Shynron with a spear (** ½);

The Osirian Portal thawed out Los Ice Creams; after Ophidian landed a top rope double knee attack on EL Hijo del Ice Cream (* 1/2);

In a TRIOS MATCH, Destruction Corporation muscled Soul Touchaz; after Blaster McMassive used a Blaster splash on Acid Jazz (* ½);

In a CAMPEONATOS de PAREJAS TITLE REMATCH, BDK (Tim Donst & Pinkie Sanchez)(ch) retained against Sara del Ray & Daizee Haze; after Tim Donst executed a SDT on Sara del Ray (* 1/2);

In a CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP NON-TITLE MATCH, Claudio Castagnoli's (ch) losing streak continued as he lost to Icarus after the challenger performed WINGS OF ICARUS (****).

Released: Shynron
Activated: Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano

[Pariah]

Too bad The Batiri didn't win their debut... Still, can't wait t to see the arrivals of Gargano and Taylor... Great stuff!

[Thomas (TK)]

"TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN"
1.8.15.2

In the opening contest, F.I.S.T. (Archibald Peck & Brodie Lee) won against Batiri; after Brodie Lee blasted Kodama via. BIG BOOT (****);

Ares out powered Johnny Gargano via. TIGER DRIVER (** 1/2);

In a TRIOS MATCH,Soul Touchaz ran circles around The Colony; after Acid Jaz used REMIX on Green Ant (* 1/2);

After the bout, GAVIN LOUDSPEAKER climbed through the ropes and with microphone in hand and once again announced that Chikara is planning on hosting the first ever KING OF TRIOS tournament during February. Gavin announced that Chikara leadership has extended an invitation to the sister federations of the WWA to enter teams of their own but have not had any official announcements. Gavin went on to explain for to those that did not know what the KING OF TRIOS tournament entailed- the event is a three day tournament, that instead of tag teams, there are trios that will compete in six-man tag team matches to see which of them will advance and hopefully win the tournament.

In singles action, Jarvis CottonBelly ruined Juan Francisco De Colorado's debut by count out (**);

Incoherence gave Los Ice Creams nightmares; after Hallowicked used GO 2 SLEEPY HOLLOW on El Hijo del Ice Cream (***);

In a TRIOS MATCH, The Chikara Chicks (Del Ray, Haze, & Satyrne) upset The Swarm; after deviAnt was disqualified for using Mask Remover on Satyrne (** 1/2);

In tag action, The Throwbacks lucked out against Osirian Portal; after Dasher Hatfield used GRANDSLAM DUNK on Ophidian (***);

Kobald ruined Chuck Taylor's return with a TOP ROPE SEATED SENTON (1/2 *);

In a TRIOS MATCH, Destruction Corporation overpowered Baltic Seige; after Max Smash Master used a standing splash on Lithuanian Snow Troll (** 1/2);

In a CAMPEONATOS DE PARAJES NON-TITLE MATCH, BDK (Sanchez & Donst) retained against 3.0; after Tim Donst caught Scott "Jagged" Parker in a SDT (** 1/2);

In a CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE MATCH, Claudio Castagnoli (ch) pinned Icarus via. RICOLA BOMB (*).

[Thomas (TK)]

"THREE FISTED TALES"
1.15.15.3
Fukuoka, Japan

In the opening bout, Jarvis CottonBelly continues his winning ways against Johnny Gargano via. THE VERTICAL SUPLEX (***);

3.0 caused Los Ice Creams to meltdown, after Scott"Jagged"Parker used FLASH ROLL-UP on El Hijo del Ice Cream (****);

In a singles bout, Juan Fransisco de Coronado won against Icarus by count-out. Icarus lifted Juan up for a BLU-RAY but Delirious appeared and pulled the F.I.ST. member out onto the arena floor. The two brawled all the way back to the locker room and the referee counted to ten and awarded Juan the match as a result of a count out. (** 1/2).

Osirian Portal shut down F.I.S.T. (Archibald Peck & Brodie Lee), after Ophidian used a Death Grip on Archibald Peck (**);

In a TRIOS MATCH, The Colony won against The Swarm; after Fire Ant used ANT HILL on deviANT (** 1/2);

In tag action, The Batiri leveled Throwbacks; after Obariyon put Sugar Dunkerton in an Air Raid Crash manuever (***);

Chuck Taylor was victorious against Ares via. OMEGA DRIVER (* 1/2);

In the CAMPEONATES DE TRES CHAMPIONSHIP TURMOIL TOURNAMENT:
- Destruction Corporation pummeled Chikara Chicks; after Blaster McMassive used a SIT-OUT CHOKE SLAM on Satyrne(****);
- The Soul Touchaz slipped by Destruction Corporation; after Acid Jazz "Put Some Stank On It" to Blaster McMassive (***);
- The Soul Touchaz outwrestled Baltic Siege; after Willie"Da Bomb"Richardson caught Latverian Proud Oak in a school boy roll up to become Campeonates de Tres champions! (****);

In a CAMPEONATOS de PAREJAS NON-TITLE MATCH, B.D.K. (Tim Donst & Pinkie Sanchez)(ch) dominated Incoherence; after Pinkie Sanchez locked on BURNING SNICKLEFRITZ (****);

In a CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP NON-TITLE MATCH, Claudio Castagnoli(ch) tossed around Kobold via. RICOLA BOMB (**).

[Pariah]

Entertaining! Happy to see The Batiri won (I actually know next to nothing about most Chikara wrestlers, but The Batiri's look is just too damn cool)!

BTW... Love the graphic... It matches the tone of the fed so well.

[Thomas (TK)]

PODCAST-A-GO-GO THEME

EPISODE #3

As the broadcast begins, the camera zooms in on Bryce Remsburg and Wiggy Wigowski playing a game of TNA Impact on the XBox 360. Neither of them seemed to fair very well and both became frustrated with the game controls before tossing the controls down in disgust.

“Oh...” Wiggy exclaimed, “The podcast started a little early Bryce but that’s a good thing as we have a lot of ground to cover this time around.”

“Indeed fans, “ Bryce stated, “as the first annual KING OF TRIOS will make it’s way to Chikara! Chikara’s sister feds have been invited to have representatives from their territories to see how they measure up to the land of threes...Chikara!”

Wiggy continued, “That’s right Bryce, the WWA Southern territory has pledged the Von Erich brothers (David, Kerry, and Kevin)...Kerry is such a hunk [Wiggy looks up in almost a dream state before coughing and returning to the podcast]!”

“And...the Lucha de Mexico is sending the ‘Triple Threat’ trio of Bam Bam Bigelow, Chris Candido, and Shane Douglas! These three are going to mess someone up in the tournament.” added Bryce.

“The next federation that sent a trio is the MPW...the fedheads there sent- The Midnight Express and Jim Cornette?!? What? Jim Cornette...that is a weird choice...” Wiggy exclaimed.

“And the final two trios come from the CSCW and the ACCW....the CSCW has sent the American Wolves & Marty Janetty! Let’s hope Janetty actually shows for this event...and the ACCW has offered Ricochet, Matt Syndal,and Alex Colon! Yikes!”continued Wiggy.

“Bryce added, “There you go fans, on February 12th, the first ever KING OF TRIOS will begin with the first round being broadcasted from the Tokyo Dome. With the second round, being held the 19th and the finals on the 26th of next month. Good luck to all the participants.

A video began that featured the Chikara Grand Champion and the Campeonatos de Parejas...the group of Claudio Castagnoli and BDK (Tim Donst & Pinkine Sanchez). Claudio looked fiercely into the camera, “I have been hearing all the so-called champions from the other territories stating that they are the best in the World and one in particular has stated that he has ran out of challengers...Nick Bockwinkle, you say that your fed has run out of challenges for that piece of tin that you wear around you thick gut of yours!?!? Well...you have been facing nothing but has beens or never was...step up grandpa and come to the big leagues! And, I have been hearing Steen running his lip about how he is the best but can’t get around Brock Lesnar- he is nothing but a muscle bound goofball and you- Steen- are worse than that!”

The three begin to laugh and Tim Donst begins to bounce and starts to shadow box. “That’s right Claudio...in the ACCW, the fed that seems to constantly run their mouths, there is a weak tag championship strapped around these two wanna be hoodlums- Blackout! That fed is the blackhole of talent, once you end up there- you just get sucked into oblivion.”

Wiggy looked stunned as she continued, “Wow! That was some strong words from the BDK...we will have to see if Bockwinkle or the ACCW responds. See you next time on the podcast-a-gogo”

[Thomas (TK)]

"LAST CALL"
1.22.15.4

In the opening bout, Fire Ant caught Satyrne in a BEACH BREAK (**);

Los Ice Creams beat F.I.S.T. (Archibald & Brodie Lee); after Ice Cream Jr. used a crossbody block ob Archibald Peck (***);

3.0 upset Incoherence; after Scott +Jagged+ Parker used 3.0 LUNG BLOWER on Hallowicked (**)'

In singles action, Kobold defeated Chuck Taylor with a Goblin Glider (****);

The Colony (Soldier Ant & Green Ant) won against Throwbacks; after Green Ant locked on GOOD LUCK CLOVERLEAF on Dasher Hatfield (***);

In a TRIOS Match, The Baltic Seige shut down The Swarm; after Latvian Proud oak dropped assailANT with BALTIC EDGE (* 1/2);

The Batari spanked Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze; after Obariyon used a wrist-clutch exploder driver on Sara Del Rey (****);

In a singles bout, Ares lucked out against Icarus via. TIGER DRIVER (* 1/2);
NOTE: Icarus controlled the bout until Delirious came to ringside and blasted Icarus with a steel chair that set up Ares's finisher.

In a CAMPEONATOS DE TRIOS NON-TITLE MATCH, Destruction Corporation muscled by Soul Touchaz(ch); after Blaster McMassive used BLACK HOLE SLAM on William "Da Bomb" Richardson (***);

In a CAMPEONATOS de PAREJAS NON-TITLE MATCH, Osirian Portal stunned BDK (Donst & Sanchez)(ch); after Amasisi used EGYPTIAN CONNIPTION (*** 1/2);

In a CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPION NON-TITLE MATCH, Claudio Castagnli(ch) pushed around Jarvis Cottonbelly via. RICOLA BOMB (**).

[Pariah]

Chikara certainly has some of the most colorful characters going!

Sweet victory for Kobold.. And nice job by the Batiri 'spanking' Del Ray and Haze in a 4-star performance!

Entertaining... Without a doubt!

[Thomas (TK)]

"THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER"
1.29.15.5

In the opening bout, Icarus outwrestled Jervis Cottonbelly with a sunset flip (1/2 *);

Incoherence squeezed by Baltic Siege; after Hallowicked caught GRAVEYARD SMASH on Estonian Thunderfrog (1/2 *);

In Tag Team action, 3.0 got by F.I.S.T. (Archibald & Gargano); after "Big Magic"Shane Matthews made Archibald Peck tap out via. BOSTON CRAB (*);

Fire Ant used BEACH BREAK on Chuck Taylor (*** 1/2);
NOTE: Delirious interfered and broke up a pin attempt after Taylor caught Fire Ant in a crossbody block.

Los Ice Creams stunned Throwbacks; after El Hijo del Ice Cream caused Sugar Dunkerton to be counted out (*** 1/2);

In a TRIOS MATCH, The Swarm squeezed by Chikara Chicks; after Sara Del Rey was counted out against deviANT (****);

The Colony (Soldier Ant & Green Ant) won against Batari; after Soldier Ant used ANTS GO MARCHING on Obariyon (*** 1/2);

In a 1-on-1 contest, Ares squashed Kobold via. TIGER DRIVER (*);

In a CAMPEONATOS DE TRIOS TITLE MATCH, Soul Touchaz(ch) retained against Destruction Corporation; after Willie"Da Bomb"Richardson caught Flex Rumblecrunch via. POUNCE (****);

In a CAMPEONATOS de PAREJAS TITLE MATCH, BDK(Tim Donst & Pinkie Sanchez)(ch) lucked out against Osirian Portal; after Tim Donst executed SDT on Amasis (****);

In a CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP NON-TITLE MATCH, Brodie Lee upset Claudio Castagnoli by disqualification (*);
NOTE: During the match, the camera focused on the visiting ACCW Champion Kevin Steen but no altercation evolved from the sighting.

[Thomas (TK)]

January 2015 Final Standings:
CHIKARA GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP: Claudio Castagnoli
1. Ares
2. Brodie Lee
3. Fire Ant
4. Kobold
5. Icarus
6. Satyrne
7. Jarvis Cottonbelly
8. Chuck Taylor

CAMPEONATOS de PAREJAS: BDK (Tim Donst & Pinkie Sanchez)
1. 3.0
2. Osirian Portal
3. The Colony (Green/Soldier)
4. The Batiri
5. Incoherence
6. Los Ice Creams
7. F.I.S.T. (Archibald Peck & Johnny Gargano)
8. Throwbacks

CAMPEONATOS DE TRIOS: Soul Touchaz
1. Destruction Corporation
2. Baltic Seige
3. The Colony
4. The Swarm
5. Chikara Chicks