Jobbers in Paradise.

[Shane Sullivan]

Mar 16, 2018 11:42:11 GMT -5 throwingtoasters said:

So many legends. All in one place. I hope they’ve chosen a Designated Survivor Jobber.

Right? It’s like a who’s who of awesomeness.

[TTX]

Mimic, Mimic, Mimic.

[cman]

Super Duck Boy? Oh GGS is going to have a ton of fun with this on his next cast. Look for that later tonight!

[Shane Sullivan]

Chapter 13: Metal teeth and the common good.

Cassandra pulls into the drive way of Century Manor. She sets her hover-car to auto park and gets out of the car. The car pulls away to find a suitable parking spot in the manors huge car garage.
She checks her sunglasses and slings her fifty thousand credit purse over her shoulder and smugly lifts her head. A robot carriage swoops in and stops before her an automaton lifts it’s hat and waves his arm for her to take a seat. She harrumphs then steps up into the carriage. The carriage lifts from the ground in a smooth motion and heads towards the manor a mile away. Below her she sees acres of trees and vegetables being grown and cultivated. Tiny robots scurry place to place; making sure everything is in order. The manor looks like a castle from medieval earth. There are fifteen spirals and a giant golden belt the stretches across the front of the castle, signifying CPC’s championship reign.
Cassandra shakes her head at this pomposity of CPC. Finally the carriage arrives to the front door of the castle. The huge door is forty feet high and almost as wide. When it opens it splits and half and slowly opens in the middle. Ms. Liberty strides forward to greet her friend. She is wearing a wrestling singlet with wrist bands. Cassandra smiles at her friend’s eagerness.

“Cass!” Ms. Liberty quickly walks up to her and gives he a big hug. “I missed you.”

“You saw me yesterday.”

“I know. I can miss you if I want.”

“I guess you can. So, what are we up to girl?”

“Silly, its practice day. Carson is out doing promotion for the tournament. We have the gym all to ourselves.”

“Ah. Well then I guess we should get me ready. I’ll follow you.”

Ms. Liberty takes Cassandra by the hand and leads her through the giant doors.

We leave these two for the moment to head to CPC headquarters where each of the wrestlers are filming their promos for the Impossible Tournament lead ins. Some of the wrestlers are at catering, talking with each other about wrestling things. Others are standing alone or in pairs watching the others. Black Hole Bart and Astro Turk are doing Karaoke with no music down a hallway. Beast Rider is giving a pep talk to Sectarian and the Creeper, which neither is paying any attention too. Vanity is being massaged by a group of women; Super Duck Boy looks on in disgust at the spectacle. Southwest is sitting in a chair with Maggie to one side, he is playing with the mask on his face, trying to get it to settle in on his huge head. Cosmos is slouched in his chair looking very bored.

“Have you guys checked out catering?” Massif walks up with three sandwiches under one are and one in the other hand. “They have Chuck Chows Sandwiches, those are the best!”

“How is it you eat enough for two of me and your rock hard with no fat?” Cosmos says with a smirk.

“Easy, I am bigger than two of you, even with that jelly roll of yours in the middle, plus I out work you every day there, mister tap out at four hundred and twelve sit ups.” Massif takes a bite out of one of the sandwiches.

Cosmos just grits his teeth and stares at the bigger man.

“Actually you big jerk I got a sandwich for all three of you. Seeing as how they were going like hot cakes back at catering.” Massif holds out the three sandwiches.

Maggie jumps up and grabs one.

“Goo looking out mate.”

Southwest grabs the two other sandwiches and drops one in Cosmos’s lap.

“Eat. You have a promo in a few minutes. It will help you think.”

Cosmos grabs the sandwich and mumbles a thanks to Massif. He unwraps the sandwich when bowl hair cut come out of a door pushing Genghis Kahn out.

“Well, that went as well as could be expected, since you can’t speak any common!” Bowl hair cut slaps his palm to his forehead and looks up. “Ok. Cheetoh Montalban and Maggie, let’s go. You’re up.”
Southwest slaps the sandwich from Maggie’s mouth in a playful gesture. “No food for you.”

“Ah come on. I was hungry.”

“Later, let’s get this done. Remember, luchador from Cetus. My name is Cheetoh not Southwest.”

“I ain’t stupid SW, I got this.”

“I know buddy, just reminding you.”

The two approach Bowl hair cut who motions for them to walk through the door. As the door closes, Cosmos looks at Massif.

“I hate doing promos.”

“Well that’s a surprise, you usually like everything.”

“This sandwich sucks.”

“Case in point.”

Behind the door, we hear Bowl Hair cut yelling at Maggie to stop touching everything. We leave the wrestlers to their epic and not so epic promos and head back to CPC Manor.

“I’ve been calling this one, Whips and Chains.”

Cassandra runs at Ms. Liberty and catches her with a clothesline. Ms. Liberty gets up on all fours and slowly gets up only to be hit with a clothesline to the back of her head. She falls forward hard. Cassandra jumps on her back and spins her around on to her back. As Ms. Liberty is watching birdies tweet around her head. Cassandra hits the mat three times. She gets up hoopin’ and hollerin’

“Woo! Just kicked your ass again! Come on get up. Let’s go another match.”

Ms. Liberty shakes her head no, and rolls out of the ring. She is holding her head.

“Nah, you got me good with that one.”

“It’s because you suck honey. I told you a million times, watch my arm, if it looks like a clothesline is coming, probably is. You need to duck, move sideways, fall into a ball and suck your thumb. Anything but stand there and take in the sights.”

Ms. Liberty slumps her shoulders.

“I’m trying.”

“I know Sweets, look if it makes you feel any better, that flying cross you do is amazing. It hurt like hell and with a few more added moves you can really put together something. You’re getting a lot better. Remember the first time we did this? I kicked you in the gut and you cried for fifteen minutes. Now you only cry for fifteen seconds. See? You’re improving a lot.”

“You’re just saying that to be nice.”

“a..no, I’m not nice remember? I say the truth. Like you still suck, just suck less than a month ago, soon you’ll suck only sometimes, then you’ll be like me only, not as cute.”

“Ha! I’m totally cuter than you.”

“In your dreams sister.”

Both women smile at each other then they high five.

“Hey since you lost, let’s go get a drink at Renegade’s Pub. I’ll even let you buy, since you live in a freaking castle.”

Ms. Liberty smiles big and agrees with a nod.

We leave these two ladies to get dressed for a night out on the town and head back to Cosmos’s promo deep in the CPC headquarters.

“Ok, kid. Like last time, er..the last time we spoke.” Bowl haircut says.

“Yeah. I got this. I have been practicing.”

“Ok, when the green light turns red on the camera, your live.”

“Ok.”

Cosmos circles his neck around and shrugs his shoulders. The light turns red.

“Last week, you saw something you thought you would never see. You saw an unknown kid from Maffei three come in to your precious tournament and beat up some guy who used to be something here in CPC. If you come next Friday to Cetus, buy a ticket, you will see another so called great one get his leg handed to him. I’m not to be trifled with. I’m very dangerous. You think Astro Turk has what it takes to beat me? You’re dreaming. Cosmos doesn’t dream, he is always awake.” Cosmos points at the screen. A few seconds the light turns green on the camera.

Bowl hair cut looks at Cosmos, he is trying to figure out a way to say it sucked without getting his butt kicked.

“umm. Kid, well that was a lot better than the first promo you laid on me. This one was better….not great though. Cosmos doesn’t dream, he is always awake?”

“Yeah I thought of that last night. Catchy right?”

“umm….well..no. Kid you're about to get into the ring with a guy who was trained by Jack Hood. Thee Jack Hood. Guy with steel pointy teeth? Killed a guy in the ring by biting his face or neck off, I don’t remember which, but you get me? This guy is dangerous like in break your face, smear the blood on his chest and then go eat at Denny’s dangerous.”

“I’m dangerous too. Well I never killed a guy, but neither did Astro Turk, just because he thinks he’s a bad ass, who was trained by a crazy guy, doesn’t mean that he can get in the ring with me and do anything. I’m going to grab him by that stupid mustache he wears and put my knee in his face, over and over, till he goes unconscious, then I’m going to put on the Cosmoslock and watch him tap out like he is playing the bongos.”

“Cosmolock? What the hell kid, that sounds like a name for an orgasum. You need to think of something a lot cooler for your finishing move. I would just stick with figure four.”

“Figure four?! What I do is much more than a figure four! I lift my whole body up and destroy the knee, I’m a master at it. If I was to put you in it old man, your body would crumble from the pain and you would probably die. Then I would be like Jack Hood.”

“Calm down kid, just giving some constructive feedback.”

“….ok. Fine. Let’s do this crap again.”

“Ok watch for the light one more time.”

The camera light turns red.

“Hey Astro Turk! You see what I did to your buddy Ursa Minor?” Since everyone thinks I can’t beat you because you were trained by a killer, because hold the tag team belts and because your a personal lap dog for CPC, I’m going to break your leg. Yep, going to break off, i'll even autograph it after. Hell, I’ll even let you pick which one. Because when I put on the Cosm….Masterlock, you don’t break out, you'll give in. See you in 24 hours tag champ. I’m putting you out of this tournament just like Urster.”

The light turns green.

“Well, that I can work with. Good luck in the tournament kid.”

Cosmos steps off the stage and walks out of the room.

We now head to Renegade’s Pub. We see Ms. Liberty and Cassandra sitting down at a lone table in the back, a big man holding a tray approaches the two women.

“Ok, one whiskey on the rocks for Cassandra, and one Cosmopolitan and a shot of vodka for Ms. Century.”

“Thanks Gade.” Ms. Liberty says.

“Hey Gade, why is she a Ms. and I’m just Cassandra?”

“I’ve been trying to make you a Mrs. Since I met you. It’s your own fault.”

“Keep trying honey. Maybe one of these days you’ll get lucky.”

“That will be a glorious day.”

Cassandra laughs and waves Renegade away. He leaves limping, but smiling.

“You’re a tease.”

“Nah, we've have this banter since he convinced me to get out from underneath that jerk Vanity thumb.”

“I wish Carson wouldn’t have hurt him so bad. I know he loved this sport.”

“It’s a dangerous sport, but Carson at least bought him this pub as an apology. Hey, did you hear Ursa quit after his match with the new kid? He didn’t even call and let me know, just up and quit, went back home if you can believe it. Carson had to call me and let me know. Then horror of horrors he told me to go out with Astro Turk and Bart last night, that I’m their valet for the tournament, teach them things.”

She shivers a bit.

“Those two are super creepy; last night they had a four hour argument over whose belt was bigger. I thought at first they were talking about something else, you know try and impress the new girl.”

Ms. Liberty laughs at this.

“But no. Literally their belts...the same exact belts both of them have, that nothing about them is different in any way, except for the name plates, they think one is bigger than the other. They came off the same mold for gawd sakes! Longest four hours of my life. I just left. Bet they still haven’t noticed I’m gone.”

“That is terrible. Well you’ll make the best of it. You are the best valet in CPC right now.”

“I’m the only valet Sweets. Speaking of which…did you talk to Carson about the Ladies Division? I have been watching video of this young girl out of the Procyon Indies. She is something to behold. She is as big as some of the men, she has even been wrestling some of them and winning. If we could get her, she would probably start a revolution of Women’s wrestling in CPC.”

“What’s her name?”

“She goes by Wonderous Woman. I think with some polish, that amazon could give us a great fight, you know, put us on the map. Who knows who will want to join us after that? It’s a huge galaxy! So, did you talk with him?”

Ms. Liberty gets excited and leans over the table.

“Yes!”

“Well!? Tell me!”

“We have a bet.”

“A bet?”

“Yes, I put in a wrestler named Adam Blast into the tournament. If he beats Gila tomorrow, we have our division.”

“YES!! That’s great…wait…What if Gila wins? You do know that Gila, it, thing, whatever it is, is a monster right? He got disqualified last month for trying to eat Beast Riders head. The ref had to beat him with a stun stick to get him to let go.”

“I know, but I think Adam can beat him, I just have this feeling.”

“Wait, what? You haven’t met Adam yet? You made a bet sight unseen? Are you freaking nuts? Gawd woman, what did you bet if you lose?”

“Carson wants me to give him a child.”

Cassandra sits back in her chair stunned. She starts to speak but then plops back in to her chair again. Grabbing her drink she shoots it down in one gulp. She grabs Ms. Liberty’s shot of Vodka and shoots it down too.

“What?” Ms. Liberty starting to get a little embarrassed.

“How very caveman of him.”

“Why are you upset, we have a real chance to get the division?”

Cassandra takes a deep breath through her nose.

“First off, what the hell is wrong with you? A child? You don’t bet on having children, giving children or anything children related. You are not a barefooted, machine that brings pop pies and a beer to your man, you are a woman. A strong woman, how dare you drag down all women with that bet? Seriously, I’m so mad at you right now. If Gila wins a freaking match, you have to bare him a child, like your some nineteen thirties earth woman with no right to choose anything without her daddy’s permission? No deal. Call it off.”

“Why are you acting like this? We win, we have a division! It’s what we have been training for!”

“You are not a cow.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Sweets it means that you don’t sell yourself, for any reason. If you want a child with a man who is twenty years older than you, you do it because you want to do it. Not because he wants you too. Listen to me Sweets, listen real good, I need you to hear me loud and clear. I figured when you met this guy, that things seemed way too good to be true. He knew way too much about you and he always had the right moves, said the right thing. Something didn’t add up, I figured you were just using him for a sugar daddy, he was using you for arm candy, both of you have some laughs, but then you went and married him. I didn’t say anything, I went along with it. You were happy, who the hell am I to say you’re nuts? I did what I thought any good friend would do, I went along with your wishes. But he’s done some things, I don’t know all of the things, but CPC is not a good guy. This thing he asked you to bet on, it’s not ok. He’s manipulating the situation and you.”

“I…wow, Cass I didn’t know you felt that way about Carson.”

“NO! You’re not listening. This isn’t about Carson, this is about you. Think for a second. Why the hell would he make a bet for you to have a kid? Why didn’t he just ask you? You are married. Married people talk about having kids all the freaking time.”

“What are you trying to say Cass?”

“If he wins the bet, he has control. He then will feel he can make you do this, like he makes you do everything else. You’ll have a baby on his terms. I’m telling you this is not ok. Call the bet off. Make a new bet. Anything else or I’m out.”

“Sounds like you want to control me too.”

“No Sister, I want you to control you. I won’t stay here any longer and watch him control you. I can’t do it.”

Both women stare at each other for a long while. Finally Ms. Liberty stands up.

“Ok Cass, I’ll talk with Carson, it’s what you want.”

“No…Sweets, it’s what you should want.”

Ms. Liberty lifts her head up and grabs her coat. Cassandra lifts her arm to get Renegade’s attention for another round.

“Be seeing you Cass.”

“Be seeing you Sweets.”

End Chapter 13.

[TTX]

Enjoyed the banter with Ms. Liberty and Cassandra.

[Shane Sullivan]

Mar 17, 2018 20:57:47 GMT -5 TTX said:

Enjoyed the banter with Ms. Liberty and Cassandra.

Thanks Troy.

[cman]

This cast was recorded a day after the brackets came out...

Generic rock music plays as various clips of past guests and highlights of Gordon's matches play. Cut to Gordon sitting at his desk but not in the best of moods.

GS: "Welcome to Smack Talk I guess. So the brackets for Impossible Tournament have been released and my opponent will be the guest tonight. Now first I want to say I have no idea what CPC was thinking but really? This is who I am facing? Ladies and Gentlemen my guest....Super Duck Boy."

The camera pans over to Super Duck Boy who is decked out in typical super hero garb complete wit Duck mask and feathers. Gordon just shakes his head. DB: "Quack! Thanks a bunch for having me on the show Gord!" GS: "It is Gordon, and believe me I am not happy about this. Seriously I drew you. I mean why not Commander Crush or even MY hero Cosmos, no I get you."

DB: "Well I am the resident Super Hero of the CPC, so I guess it is only fitting that we face off. Plus on the bright side it will be a great match. I have been practicing some new duck moves that will leave you in awe. GS: "Awe is not the word I would use but whatever. Another thing I noticed, CPC is not even in his own tournament. What is up with That? I can hear it now "CPC doesn't need to be in the tournament, CPC will crush the winner." And other thing Cephus how the heck did you draw Pollux ?"

Somewhere off camera a voice is heard but we can't make out what is being said. GS: "Really that is all I get is a shrug and excuses? Some producer you are. I mean look who else is in this, Creeper, Astro Turk, Dark Star Creature. This tournament is really Jobbers in Paradise." DB: "Quack! Hey we are not Jobbers! All of us are Superstars." GS: "Superstars? Duck Boy what have you been vaping, and yes ladies and gents vaping is still a thing. Superstars that should be in this tournament aren't even around, chaos, Madador, Star Warrior, The war mongering Aetherans."

DB: "Um actually they are a peace loving race. No war for them." GS: "Peace loving? So you are telling me that Spike is the Minister of Peace or somerhing?" DB: "Actually Minister of Enlightenment, but close enough." GS: "Are you kidding Me? Holy crap what world did I get dropped off on for this to happen? CPC for the love of everything please put me back." The camera pans over to see Super Duck Boy grooming himself with his feathers. Gordon gets a disgusted look on his face. "What the hell are you doing? You are not even a real duck, that cannot be sanitary! You know what, I am done, show is over, I will kick your butt in the ring. Keep on Smacking people, I am out."

Gordon gets up and stalks off camera while Duck Boy looks up after him..."Quack, What?"

[Shane Sullivan]

LOL!! Nice.

[TTX]

Fun fun...always neat to see Duck Boy.

[Shane Sullivan]

Chapter 14: The morning of….
Massif is whistling as he heads down a hallway, he has a pot in one hand a wooden spoon in the other. He stops in front of a door and slowly turns the knob. We see Cosmos sleeping soundly with drool coming out on to his pillow. He is lying face down in only his boxers. Massif slowly creeps in and stands over him. He is trying not to laugh. He slowly brings up the pot and spoon; taking a deep breath he begins to swing the spoon.

“Why do you have a spoon?…”

Massif screams and drops the pan on Cosmos, which hits him on the head. Cosmos yells and jumps up slamming the back of his head into the forehead of Massif who has stumbled forward in his surprise. Cosmos grabs the back of his head and Massif is howling in pain holding his face.

“What the hell Massif!!” Cosmos yells.

“My face!” Massif screams in pain.

Laughter is heard behind both men. Cosmos looks around the huge Massif and sees Solaris sitting in a chair.

“You two are really quite the team. I…” Solaris doubles over in laughter.

“Old man! Why are you in my room?! Why are both of you in my damn room?!”

Massif smirks at the laughing old man then back at Cosmos.

“I was waking you up for your morning run. This guy startled me.” Poking his thumb in the direction of Solaris.

“What the hell was the pot for!?” Cosmos says still quite angry.

“Was going to make you breakfast first?”

Cosmos walks over to his dresser in disgust and grabs some clothes. He heads in to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

“oh..I think I’m going to have a heart attack.” Solaris still laughing, but trying to stop.

“You almost gave me one. How long have you been in here?”

“Oh I came in a second after you did. I was curious what you were doing.”

“I was going to scare him awake.”

“Why?”

“Makes him mad, he performs way better when he’s angry.”

“Humm. Seems counterproductive.”

“Whatever. I think it’s funny.”

“If you say so.”

“Really why you here Solaris?”

“I came to see Cosmos and wish him good luck in his match today. He has a real tough adversary in this match. Astro Turk should not be overlooked.”

“That kid doesn’t overlook anyone. He’ll be ready. I’ll get him warmed up and to the arena in time. Don’t you worry about it.”

“I know he is in capable hands.”

“Hey Solaris, were Cosmos and I friends before CPC messed with time?

“No. Bitter enemies.”

“Huh. Well one good thing to come out of this whole mess is I think we are friends now.”

Solaris looks down for a second then directly at Massif.

“The night is still young.”

“Whoa, what does that mean?”

“Stay beside him. Do what you feel is right. Till its not.”

“Cryptic old man. You know I don’t buy into mumbo jumbo bull crap. This kid has worked his ass off and then some. I like his chances to win the whole thing.”

“That can’t happen my friend.”

“What can’t happen?”

Both men look at Cosmos who is dressed in his “I retire people” T-shirt and blue jeans.

“Nothing Cosmos, you ready for a five mile run?”

“No.”

“Good. See you outside. It’ll be fun running seven miles just you wait and see.”

Massif looks at Solaris for a second then heads out the door of the room.

“You said five!!”

Cosmos starts to put on his running shoes and looks up at Solaris.

“I heard what you said old man.”

“It is imperative you defeat CPC, the tournament is not yours to win.”

“Old man, I’ll get to CPC. But just so we are clear, you may have healed my leg and nose, given me a chance to wrestle again, but you are also responsible for putting me in the ring with Monolith. I lost seven years. Seven years I suffered, every night. So when I say I’m getting mine. I’m getting mine. I’m going to win this tournament; I’m going to be the champion. Then I’m going to fight CPC and cripple him, everyone gets what’s coming to them. Everyone. You get in my way, and the free pass I’ve given you, is over. I will get you too. You hear me old man?”

“I hear you Thantos.”

“Thantos? You goofy old man, my name is Cosmos. Thantos? What the hell does that even mean? You’re a Thantos.”

Cosmos finishes putting on his shoes and runs out his door. Leaving Solaris alone with his thoughts.

“More than you know young man. More than you will ever know.”

We head over to the Cetus Arena One, where CPC and Ms. Liberty drive up to the back talent entrance. A large group of fans are already lined up awaiting their heroes.

Ms. Liberty is lost in thought looking out the tinted windows of the hover limo.

“Penny for your thoughts love?”

Ms. Liberty sighs and looks at Carson.

“Can…Can I take back my bet?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The bet we made. I don’t want to bet having a child if I lose. Can we make a new bet?”

Carson is silent for a moment. His temples flare. He takes a breath.

“That is what you are worried about?”

“Yes”

“Humm..well, sure I will put Karah back into the tourn…”

“No, please. I want Adam to still be able to compete.”

“Then, we have a bet to keep.”

“I’m not a cow!”

Carson looks confused and decides to wait out whatever Ms. Liberty has on her mind.

“Carson! Really. I’m not having a baby because you make me have one!”

“I said ok. I’ll pull Adam…”

“No! Adam is staying in the tournament. If he wins I get to start a ladies division! If he loses….I’m still starting a ladies division. There I said it.”
She crosses her arms in defiance. CPC stares at her for a moment then smiles.

“Of course dear.”

Startled at this she opens her mouth then closes it. Thinks for a moment then blurts out:

“And no time travelly stuff to change my mind.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it my love.”

“Good…then it’s settled.”

“Yes. It’s settled.”

Ms. Liberty suddenly gets very happy and hugs her husband. His face shows no emotion as he hugs her. When she releases, he smiles.

“Big night dear, let’s go put on a show.”

“Yes! Lets!”

The door opens and the crowd outside goes nuts when they see CPC and Ms. Liberty get out of the hover limo.

We leave these two to the morning crowd and head to the local Denny’s by the Cetus One Arena.

Southwest is plowing through his fifth plate of pancakes. Maggie is chewing on some bacon.

“You know mate, ole Pit Viper has a couple of weakness.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s quick, for sure. Bugh he ain’t smart like you and me.”

“Do tell.”

“When he does his drop kick off the middle rope into the springboard back elbow, he always slaps his chest. When he does that, you cun catch him and do bad things to him.”

“I do like doing bad things.”

“Right mate. Also his finisher, I think you a wee bit heavy for it. He’s going to try his sleeper hold he used when he first came up into the GWF. Before CPC bought it all.”

“Ok. So if he tries the sleeper I’ll just slam him into the corner.”

“Nagh. You need to flip him over yourself doing that Judoey thing you do. Then just punch him in the head.” He has a weak head.”

“Don’t everyone?”

“Nagh. Ender donet. His head is like a watermelon.”

“Yeah he does have a big dome.”

“Yeah big dome.” MAggie laughs as he colors the table cloth in front of him with a crayon.

A young woman in a yellow blouse and skirt with a name tag that reads Kitty walks up to the table.

“Want another stack sir?”

“See Maggie, this place understands me. Yes ma’am, I would like just that.”

“Right away sir.”

“I think she likes you.”

“After tonight, No one will like me,”

“Cept me.”

“Cept you.”

End Chapter 14.