So I ran this match a few minutes ago for sh!ts & giggles before I head off to work.
I imagined this match taking place at the Omni in Atlanta as part of a big Starrcade event. Jim Cornette, with tennis racket in hand accompanied Big Bubba to the ring and handled his introduction. The fans boos quickly turned to cheers once ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta announced his opponent... Jake "the Snake" Roberts!!! Jake slid his burlap sack with Damien under the ropes, clearing the ring of Cornette and Bubba who showed surprising agility in fleeing to the outside (losing his hat along the way).
As Jake was situating Damien in the corner, Bubba attacked from behind before the bell rang with a back elbow.
After a brief comeback, Jake was thwarted by Bubba who choked him with his suspenders over and over (and over), releasing each time referee Tommy Young reached a 4 3/4 count.
Bubba whipped Jake into the turnbuckle and tried a running charge but Roberts moved and the big man tumbled over the top rope and hard out to the Omni floor!
Jake slid out of the ring and stunned the big man with some boxing jabs before ramming him into the guardrail. Cornette was crying for a DQ but did not get one from Young who let the action go.
Back in the ring, Jake made a mistake trying to scoop slam Rogers who clubbed "the Snake" across the back and took over once again.
Rogers was confidently bullying Jake, shoving him around the ring and paintbrushing him before hitting a enzuigiri that stunned the crowd.
Instead of going for a pin, Bubba picked Jake back up and sent him into the corner to try another avalanche. A dazed Roberts however once again used his agility advantage to sidestep Rogers who crashed into the turnbuckle head first.
Jake quickly grabbed an arm wringer and delivered a vicious short-arm clothesline that staggered Bubba even more than he was.
Jake signaled to the crowd and despite Cornette jumping around hysterically at ringside and yelling for Bubba to turn around, Roberts kicked the stunned bodyguard in the gut and planted him with a devastating DDT for the 1-2-3!
Result: Jake Roberts pinned Big Bubba Rogers in 4:03.
Edit - 4:03 was disappointingly short but... the dice, ya know?