Hey
TTX me bro! - I'm glad you enjoyed Heidi The Riveter's little intro into this...wanted to give
topdollar a chuckle too...I think The Mysterious Four's story as yet to be told...and I have a feeling that they are more involved than meets the eye...Many thanks brother!
Hey
Leon! - Very jazzed that you are digging the happenings here...if you ever want to learn more about all things Filsinger (and all things related to it), brother
Pariah is the man to follow...he's served up many new things to me through his fed postings on the board...posted below is our second offering...hope it's a fun one!
Back In Olde'...
Late February 1929...
EXTRAVAGANZA # 2 - "The Fix Is In"...(Some People You Just Can't Count On...And Some People...Just Can't Count)...
The (Out of Business) Ol' Blind Tiger Warehouse
On The Outskirts of Muncie, Indiana
Brought To You By:
Owner - Chief Justice of The United States Supreme Court - The Honorable - William H. Taft
Commissioner - Judge Hugo Lexington Black
Tonight's Tournament Opening Round Exhibitions:1. The Old Fashioned & The Suffragette - "The Handlebar Haberdasher" Marion Fontaine & "The Bearded Lady" Mary Elizabeth Monroe vs The Jollyville Jeepers - Jeeper "Clean" & Jeeper "Jerk"
2. The Southern Sons Acrobatic Bayou Jubilee - "Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon & Dr. Jacob Omen vs The Vaude-Villians - "Old Timer" Jeff King & Nicholas Valentino
3. The Judge And The Executioner - Commissioner Judge Hugo Lexington Black & "Big" Sue Jackson vs Crossmonkey Clearwater Revival - Matthew Cross & Cymbal Monkey
4. The Lobbying Legislators of An Anti-Saloon Land - Senator Cameron S. Sheppard & Representative Gavin Q. Volstead vs Drunk & Disorderly - Jock Samson & "Burly" Bill Taylor
Semi-Final Round Exhibitions:
5. Winners of Exhibition 1. vs Winners of Exhibition 2.
6. Winners of Exhibition 3. vs Winners of Exhibition 4.
Championship Two Out of Three Fall Final Round Exhibition:
7. Winners of Exhibition 5. vs Winners of Exhibition 6.
Exhibition Intermission Piano Rags by - Mr. Scott Joplin!
Tonights Opening Round Results - You're Referee - Agent Dick J. Lahart!
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Mr. William H. Taft - See dear...there's absolutely nothing to worry about...Judge Black has it...I mean Inky has it all under control and on schedule...what could possibly go wrong?...
Mrs. Helen Taft - Thank God Inky really runs the show here...don't have much faith in Black or his lackey Lahart...I'm genuinely suprised...didn't think Lahart could read or count...(takes a hearty gulp from her mug full of the houses Root Beer)...My goodness...I have never in my life tasted a root beer before that in my life...wonderful!...
Inky Scoops - Mr. & Mrs Taft...can I get you another root beer?...were just about to start...
Mr. William H. Taft - That'd be fine Inky...
Mrs. Helen Taft - Yes...yes...ohh and please make mine...a double...
1. The Jollyville Jeepers - "Clean" (0 Ending Fatigue) & "Jerk" (0 Ending Fatigue, Won The Opening Collar & Elbow With Some Difficulty, Won 1 Ringside Brawl Only Because Monroe Was Deliberately Distracted By Referee Lahart, Nearly Disqualified For Brouhaha Style Brawling At Ringside, Helped Fontaine Steady Monroe To Her Feet After The Final Bell) defeated The Old Fashioned & The Suffragette - "The Handlebar Haberdasher" Marion Fontaine (0 Fatigue, 1 Botched Pin Save, Post Match Argument & Shoving with Lahart) & "The Bearded Lady" Mary Elizabeth Monroe (0 Fatigue, Insisted On Trying & Barely Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow, Nearly Disqualified For Brouhaha Style Brawling At Ringside) via Submission - Jerk forced Monroe to submit to his JEEPER SQUEEZE finisher (A Head Squeeze) at the 6:00 minute mark...(Note: The crowd in attendance tonight exploded in annoyance at how referee Lahart's actions appeared to have affected the outcome of this exhibition)...(Another Note: The Bearded Lady really showed the crowd something here with her teanacious and inspiring effort tonight)...
Clean - See that...I just knew he'd do the right thing...
Jerk - Who?...what the hell are you talking about?...Lahart?
Clean - Lahart's on our side...buddy boy...saw to that poi-sonally...
Jerk - She was alright...and she was beatin the snot outta me...this ain't right...
Clean - Sure it is will you relax...we've got bigger fish to fry next...
Jerk - Go talk to Lahart again and tell him to keep this fair...trust me...it's for your own good...
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Visitor To The Arena - Where's Judge Black?...
Cymbal Monkey - What?...ohh he's ahh...who are you?...
Visitor To The Area (after stepping up eye to throat with him) - I Said!...Where's Judge Black?...
Cymbal Monkey (after pointing towards the kissing booth) - That's him...ahh over there...
(As The Visitor To The Area made a bee line for The Judge...Cymbal Monkey knew in his gut...that this man was somehow...baaaad...news...but something about him looked awful familiar...eerily)...
2. The Vaude-Villians - "Old Timer" Jeff King (0 Fatigue, Nearly Counted Out Of The Rig For Needing To Regroop At Ringside 2 x)
& Nicholas Valentino (1 Fatigue, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow, Nearly Counted Out Of The Rig For Alson Needing To Regroop At Ringside)
defeated The Southern Sons Acrobatic Bayou Jubilee - "Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon (2 Fatigues)
& Dr. Jacob Omen (1 Fatigue, Won The Opening Collar & Elbow, Imbibed His Secret Elixir On The Sly - Boosting His Power From +1 to -1, Got Into A Heated Shoving Match With Referee Lahart - To Which King Used The Distraction To Capitalize By Attacking Omen From Behind, 2 Pin Saves)
via Submission - King forced Lyndon to submit to his BEAR HUG finisher just after The Vaude-Villians had Double Teamed Lyndon While Referee Lahart Escorted Omen Back To His Corner...Lahart rang up the submission very quickly with most in attendace saying Lyndon still hadn't conceeded at the 24:00 minute mark...(Note: The fans in attendance kept relentlessly throwing things from their seats in disgust at Referee Lahart...everything but their root beers)...
(A wiry strong young lady paid he ticked and made her way to her seat in the second row...before she could order some refereshments from the members of our burlesque troop sponsors...she dfortunately able to grab a near by spitoon...in which she had quite a barking fit off coughing to do, capped off of throwing up some undigested food...as she recovered...a waitress asked her if she would care for anything...the young lady (aka Heidi "The Riveter" Lovelace) asked for some pocorn and a mug of the house root beer...once she tasted the root beer...she told the waitress..."Here...you can forget the popcorn sweets...but definitely bring me more root beer")...
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(As Thunderkitty is putting the final touches on her kissing booth at the arena):Thunderkitty - Sorry hun...we ain't open just yet...
("Burly" Bill Taylor drops a sack of dimes on the counter):
Thunderkitty - Jesus...how many dimes is that?...
"Burly" Bill Taylor - Eleven dollars and seventy cents...so start puckering...you gorgeous thing...
3. The Judge And The Executioner - Commissioner Judge Hugo Lexington Black (0 Fatigue, Iniated An All Four Wrestlers Brawling Inside The Ring Pin Save - Saving Jackson From a definite Monkey's TAIL WHIP finisher Pinfall)
& "Big" Sue Jackson (4 Fatigues, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow)
defeated Crossmonkey Clearwater Revival - Matthew Cross (3 Fatigues, Won The Opening Collar & Elbow, Sucker Punched In An Argument By Referee Lahart And Narrowly Escaped An Immediate Cover By Jackson & Fast Count)
& Cymbal Monkey (0 Fatigues, Iniated Three Double Team Wind Up Tail Bell Ringer maneuvers)
via Disqualification - Cymbal Monkey was quickly disqualified for Breaking A Wooden Chair Over "Big" Sue Jacksons Head During A Ringside Brawl at the 42:00 minute mark...(Note: Cymbal Monkey Apologized To Matthew Cross, Cross Told Him Forget About It And That He Was Just As Pissed Off As Cymbal Monkey Was)...(Another Note: They Both Realized The Fix Was In...But There Are Still Ways To Get Justice...The Night Is Young)...(Yet Anoter Note: The Crowd In Attendance Were Absolutely Beside Themselves At Not Only The Heels By Referee Lahart And Even Judge Black)...
"Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon - Hey...
Dr. Jacob Omen - What...
"Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon - What are we gonna do?...We still gotta scratch up all that dough!...
Dr. Jacob Omen - Put all our money on The Jollyville Jeepers...
"Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon - Should we?...I'll go talk to The Chief...
Dr. Jacob Omen - Wait a minute...yeah we should...but I got it...it's time to tilt the scales of justice...
(As Dr. Omen whispers into his friends Louis Lyndon's ear...Lyndons anxious look is soon replaced with a smirk...and then a smile)...
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(A very large man with a burlap duffel bag and baseball bat over his shoulder...walks towards the horse drawn make shift casino tied up and anchored to a spot just outside of the large swinging (warehouse) arena doors...and at that casino is none other than Chief Walcott Kickapoo himself...The Chief invites the stranger to partake in a friendly game of roulette or perhaps to place a wager on a game of over under...but the stranger isn't interested in gambling:
Bruno "Baby Face" Moretti - Hey old timer...pretty risky settin this up here by yourself without protection...
Chief Walcott Kickapoo - Protection?...well friend...my wife also helps run the casino...and she keeps me in line...if you know what I mean...ha ha ha...
Bruno "Baby Face' Moretti - It'd be...a real shame if something were to happen to this...fine establishment...I'm gonna be you're security...protection...if you will...there's a lot of undesirables startin to drift into Muncie...and I wouldn't want anything to happen to what you and the missus has got going on here...you pay me $100.00 each time you open up for an Extravaganza here and I promise...I'll take good care...of you...
4. The Lobbying Legislators of An Anti-Saloon Land - Senator Cameron S. Sheppard (5 Fatigues, Iniated A Brutal Double Team On Taylor While Lahart Escorted Samson Back To His Corner)
& Representative Gavin Q. Volstead (0 Fatigue, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow, Nearly Counted Out Of The Rig For Needing To Regroop At Ringside, Won 1 Ringside Brawl, Nearly Disqualified For Relentless Brawling Outside Ring, Iniated One Double Suplex Double Team)
defeated Drunk & Disorderly - Jock Samson (0 Fatigues, 1 Pin Save, Iniated An All Four Wrestlers Brawling Inside The Ring For A Second Pin Save)
& "Burly" Bill Taylor (Got Into A Shoving Match With Referee Lahart, Allowing Sheppard To Attack From Behind, Bludgeoned Sheppard At Ringside With A Wooden Chair As Lahart Was Distracted By Our Kissing Booth Lady Thunderkitty Who Angrily Climbed Up On The Apron, Lost 1 Ringside Brawl Nearly Disqualified For Relentless Brawling Outside Ring)
via Painfall - Taylor Tried To Punch Referee Lahart But Missed And Was Sucker Punched Instead by Volstead And Quickly Rolled Up For The Fastly Counted Three Count) at the 60:00 minute mark...(Note: A Post Match Brouhaha Erupted Between The Legislators and Drunk & Disorderly, With Thunderkitty In the Mix As Well, SLEEPER HOLD sytle...(Additional Note: The crowd is now throwing the root beer mugs (empty of course) at some of the most egregious characters involved in this evening of set - ups)...
Inky Scoops - Judge Black...Ahh congratulations...I guess...and there's someone here to see you...
Unknown Wrestler - Mr. Black...
Judge Hugo Lexington Black - Call me Judge...
Unknown Wrestler - Mr. Black...I'm Jack Cross...I'm Your New Worlde Heavyweight Champion...
Judge Hugo Lexington Black - Splendid my boy...splendid!...please step this way...we have a lot...to talk about...
Inky Scoops (after Cross and The Judge walk away) - Marion...who is this Jack Cross?
The Handelbar Haberdasher Marion Fontaine - A wrestler from back east and Europe...
Inky Scoops - Is he good?...
Marion Fontaine - Former European World Champion...
Inky Scoops - Huh...
Marion Fontaine - Matthew Cross's half brother...
Inky Scoops - Ohhhh...that one...
Marion Fontaine - and one really serious...piece of work...
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A Small Intermission:
Mr. William H. Taft - Sweetheart I have to go...emergency session...You'll be ok?...With what we agreed to?...
Mrs. Helen Taft - Absolutely...don't you worry Bill...I know how to handle this catastrophe...be safe my darling...
(a few minutes later):
"The Worlds Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly - My dear Helen! You're looking wonderful, you've lost weight roight?
Mrs. Helen Taft - Jervie...I really...we really...need you're help here...I've got a referee uniform here that looks like it will just fit you...can you help us?...there's only three exhibitions left?...
"The Worlds Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly - Don't you worry love...you can stand on me...I'll take care of everything...strange things...afoot ere'...
(a few minutes later):Mrs. Helen Taft - Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen...Mr. Lahart has worked so hard over the course of our first four exhibitions of the evening...it's only right...that we replace...I mean relieve him...so without further adieu...please welcome our relief referee for the rest of the tournament..."The Worlds Sweetest Man"...Jervis Cottonbelly!...producing a standing ovation roar from the crowd...combined with a few grumbled..."Ahhhh Shhhhit"s....
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Tonights Semi Final Round Results - Your New Referee - "The Worlds Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly
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Judge Hugo Lexington Black - That's right Big Sue...since things have changed...I'm going to have Bruno "Baby Face" Moretti in our corner...
"Big" Sue Jackson - Good thinking...I've heard he's a man who get's things done...anybody but that waste of life Lahart...
(Not far away from this brief interaction...Agent Dick J. Lahart took it all in...although he wouldn't show it...he felt hurt...(and for a millisecond...suprisingly regretted writing "Fatty Arbuckle" on the sign in poster)...and also still slighted by The Judge in drafting Jackson on his team in the first place...ex-referee Lahart's next move...was now clear to him)...5. The Jollyville Jeepers - Jeeper "Clean" (1 Fatigue, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow, Iniated 1 Double Team Backbreaker, 1 Pin Save)
& Jeeper "Jerk" (3 Fatigues, Attacked From Behind By King While Jerk Was Arguing With Lahart, Was Suprisingly Attacked By "Felino Blanco" Louis Lyndon But Threw Lyndon Out of The Ring But Not Before Lyndon Winked At Jerk, Won 1 Ringside Brawl, Attacked From Behind By Valentino While Arguing With Cottonbelly, Iniated Double Torture Rack Squats Double Team)
defeated The Vaude-Villians - "Old Timer" Jeff King (3 Fatigues, Nearly Counted Out Of The Rig For Needing To Regroop At Ringside, Nearly Counted Out By Being Powerslammed Into The Timekeepers Table At Ringside)
& Nicholas Valentino (1 Fatigue, Won The Opening Collar & Elbow, 1 Near Disqualification Pin Save As Valentino Pulled Cottonbelly Feet First Out of The Ring, 1 Botched Pin Save Because Dr. Jacob Omen Tripped Up Valentino With A Cane As "The Bearded Lady" Mary Elizabeth Monroe distracted Referee Cottonbelly)
via Submission - King submitted to Jeeper "Jerk"s JEEPER SQUEEZE finisher (A Head Squeeze) at the 48:00 minute mark...
Mrs. Helen Taft - Inky!...
Inky Scoops (as he hands her another fresh mug of root beer) - Yes Mrs. Taft...
Mrs. Helen Taft - That last exhibition was utter chaos...
Inky Scoops - I know...it was neat right?
Mrs. Helen Taft - I'm not sure...and Thunderkitty really held her own earlier in the evening...
Inky Scoops - Very true...say...are you thinking about?...
Mrs. Helen Taft (interrupting) - Yes I am...who says there can't be a Worlde Women's Championship?...But one thing at a time...seemed like a lot of folks wanted their pound of flesh after Lahart was trying to throw the earlier exhibitions...obviously for his boss's the Judge's benefit...if all of that interference starts happening during our next exhibition...tell Jervis to let it...but before the final championship exhibition...tell Jervis to see me first...
Inky Scoops - Consider it done Mrs. Taft...
(Listening intently to this conversation was one Heidi "The Riveter" Lovelace...as Scoops walked away to carry out Mrs. Taft's orders...Heidi "The Riveter" chugged her fourth root beer...straightened out her clothes and hair out a bit...hacked up a bunch of phlegm...and went over to try to talk with Mrs. Taft)...-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Walcott Kickapoo - This Bruno Moretti is trouble...I think he's from Chicago...
Dr. Jacob Omen - Connected?...
Chief Walcott Kickapoo - I think so...
Dr. Jacob Omen (after a few minutes in thought) - Ok...just keep you're nose clean...my...associates and I will think of something...
Chief Walcott Kickapoo - Do you guys still owe?...
Dr. Jacob Omen (interrupting) - Yeah...and a little bit more now on top of it...
Chief Walcott Kickapoo - If you need help with that...I'm here...
Dr. Jacob Omen - Thanks brother...we might...
6. The Lobbying Legislators of An Anti-Saloon Land - Senator Cameron S. Sheppard (0 Fatigue)
& Representative Gavin Q. Volstead (0 Fatigue, Won The Opening Collar & Elbow, Smashed A Half Full Glass Mug Of Beer Over Jackson's Head, Iniated 1 Double Suplex Double Team, Nearly Disqualified For Slashing Jackson With A Foreign Object)
With Agent Dick J. Lahart (Pulled Moretti Underneath The Ropes And Off The Ring Apron Before Moretti Could Try To Interfere And Then Ran For His Life)
defeated Judge Hugo Lexington Black (0 Fatigue, 1 Pin Save)
& "Big" Sue Jackson (6 Fatigues, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow)
With Bruno "Baby Face" Moretti (1 Pin Saving Distraction)
via Pinfall - Volstead pinned Jackson after executing his KICK BACK finisher (An Enziguri To A Seated Opponent) at the 36:00 minute mark...
Matthew Cross - Well at least those mugs The Judge & Lahart are out of it...
Cymbal Monkey - I'm sorry again for losing my temper...
Matthew Cross - Not to worry my friend...We'll be back...And we'll have our shots...we're going to train together and show em' how it's done...especially that crooked Lahart and that no-good Judge of his...
(With that...Cymbal Monkey did a Standing Back Flip in joy)...
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Tonights Championship Two Out of Three Fall Final Round Results - Your Referee - "The Worlds Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly
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"The Worlds Sweetest Man" Jervis Cottonbelly (as he reads from a card) - Attention Ladies and Gentlemen...this exhibition is for...The Worlde Tag Team Championship!!!...It will be Two out of Three Falls...and held under..."Brouhaha Rules"...which means...(good gracious)...there are no rules!!!...(bunch of ruffians)...except...for the following:...There are to be absoultely no interferences allowed...period...this will result in the automatic disqualification...of both teams!!!...this means you!!!...
7. The Lobbying Legislators of An Anti-Saloon Land - Senator Cameron S. Sheppard (2 Fatigues, Lost The Second Opening Collar & Elbow, Nearly Counted Out Of The Ring Twice For Needing To Regroop At Ringside)
& Representative Gavin Q. Volstead (0 Fatigue, Lost The Opening Collar & Elbow, Lost The Third Opening Collar & Elbow, Iniated An All Four Wrestlers Brawling Inside The Ring Pin Save, 1 Botched Pin Save)
defeated The Jollyville Jeepers - Jeeper "Clean" (2 Fatigues, Won The opening Collar & Elbow, Iniated One Double Team Backbreaker, 1 Pin Save, 1 Botched Pin Save)
& Jeeper "Jerk" (3 Fatigues, Won The Second And Third Opening Collar And Elbows, Iniated Three Double Team Double Torture Rack Squats, Won One Ringside Brawl)
Two Falls To One...
The First Fall:
Volstead pinned "Jerk" after The Legislators executed their CONGRESSIONAL LEG SWEEP tag finisher (A Double Leg Sweep) at the 6:00 minute mark...
The Second Fall:
Sheppard was forced to submit to Jeeper Jerk's JEEPER SQUEEZE finisher (A Head Squeeze) at the 18:00 minute mark...
The Final Fall:
Sheppard pinned Jerk after his Suplex maneuver at the 42:00 minute mark...
The Lobbying Legislators of An Anti-Saloon Land are your inaugural Worlde Tag Team Champions!!!
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Coming Soon:
EXTRAVAGANZA # 3 - "Life Is A Carnival...Believe It or Not...Life Is A Carnival"...(Two Bits A Shot)...
March 1929
16 Competitor Tournament...15 Exhibitions...In One Evening...for The Worlde Heavyweight Championship!
More Information To Be Found In Our soon to be upcoming Second Issue of The Top Turnbuckle Tribune!
Thanks For Being In Seats Folks!...
