To Cruefan... thanks for the awesome Aftershow! Alas, the dice are not always kind...
Heartland Championship Wrestling
King of the Indies: Chikara!
June 17, 2017 (Card #790)
Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
The show opens with the tune, "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by Toby Keith playing overhead. DAYTONDAVE and WARLORD make their way down the aisle toward ringside, greeting the fans along the route. Daytondave: Hey, fans! Welcome to CHIKARA! We have a lot of great action lined up for you tonight-
Warlord: Right here in State College, Pennsylvania, the home of the Nittany Lions!
(
Cheers)
Daytondave: This is definitely a spirited place for the superstars of CHIKARA to get their wrestle on. And tonight is a big one- the
Heartland Ladies' Championship is on the line!
Warlord: I don't think I like the chances for
KIMBER LEE to retain.
CHEERLEADER MELISSA is a tough challenger!
Daytondave: Possibly the toughest challenge to date for Kimber's title run.
Warlord: And the pressure is on
CRUEFAN tonight as the referee- this is a big-match situation, and with
LARRY SWEENEY at ringside, you never know what to expect.
Daytondave: Cruefan knows what he is doing- I am confident that tonight's Main Event will go off without incident. But first, we have a lot of action teed up, and we're going to kick it off with two of the superstars of the independent scene competing for a CHIKARA contract. We're gonna rock Penn State tonight, fans- so relax, grab yourself a cold one, and enjoy the show!
CHIKARA CONTRACT MATCH
RODERICK STRONG* pinned WILL OSPREAY**Ospreay came out looking to impress the crowd, but his aerial moves failed to impress the veteran Strong. Roddy slowed Ospreay with a vicious backbreaker onto the turnbuckle, setting up Ospreay for a Sick Kick from Strong to finish it.
Daytondave: Roderick Strong is your winner! Congratulations on your arrival here in CHIKARA.
Warlord: Roderick is too smart of a guy to fall for the flippy-dippy business.
Daytondave: Coming next- a couple of tag teams in search of a shot at the Campeonatos!
HALLOWICKED & FRIGHTMARE defeated COLIN DELANEY**** & CREECHShenanigans in the tag match! Frightmare and Hallowicked battled To Infinity for several minutes on even footing until
SEVENTEEN and
THE SHARD came to ringside! Seventeen pulled Creech off the ring apron, and Shard jumped onto the ring apron. As the referee was tangled up with Seventeen, Shard nailed Delaney with an enzuigiri, knocking Delaney to the mat. Shard and Seventeen scattered, leaving the ring area in a state of chaos. Amidst the confusion, Frightmare came off the top rope with a Fright Crusher and covered Delaney for the three count.
Daytondave: Seventeen? He's back again?
Warlord: Just when you thought things couldn't get any crazier with this Gekido business... Seventeen changes the questions.
Daytondave: And brings us one step closer to the confrontation at
Freedom Festival 2017. But for tonight- Hallowicked and Frightmare are the winners- and they now have two points toward a chance to battle for the Campeonatos! Now, let's take a look at a couple of singles competitors coming off costly losses and trying to keep their championship hopes alive.
JOCK SAMSON pinned SHYNRON*The big hillbilly was entirely unimpressed by the athletic moves of young Shynron. Shynron tried to hit Samson with a sligshot reverse neckbreaker, but Samson swatted him away like a mosquito. A couple of stiff kicks from Samson stunned Shynron, and Samson blasted forward with the .38 Special Lariat which turned Shynron upside down and delivered Jock the victory.
Daytondave: Well, after the food fight debacle, it is good to see Samson back on track.
Warlord: Unless you are Shynron.
Daytondave: A point well taken. Fans- we have TWO exciting matches from the
2017 Independent Tag Team League tonight- so let's get to it!
2017 INDEPENDENT TAG TEAM LEAGUE
DREW GALLOWAY & JOHNNY GARGANO (2-2) vs. SCORPIO SKY & JOEY RYAN (4-0) Gargano and Galloway were at the top of their game tonight! Both members of the Dynasty took a pounding, and when Gargano hit the Assisted Ace Crusher on Ryan, it looked like lights out. But Scorpio managed to make the save, allowing the match to continue but opening the door for Galloway to obliterate both opponents with a running double clothesline! Gargano picked up the stunned Ryan and tossed him with the Lawn Dart to pick up the pin.
WINNERS: DREW GALLOWAY & JOHNNY GARGANODaytondave: How about that! The Dynasty takes their first loss in 2017. That's surprising that Galloway and Gargano got it done- they have been underachievers in the eyes of some.
Warlord: Heavens to Betsy! That was the last of the unbeatens for 2017. It's anybody's ball game now!
Daytondave: Especially in the Independent Division!
THE TRIBE are now just 1/2 match behind The Dynasty for the top spot as we are now midway through Block 6. All right, fans- let's kick it over to
LARRY SWEENEY for this week's episode of
"Sweet Talk"!The scene shifts to the set of "Sweet Talk", where Larry Sweeney stands alone. He wears his neon green boa and his trademark grin as he jaws with the fans in the front row.Sweeney: Okay, humanoids- it's time for me to drop some knowledge if you think you can handle it.
KIMBER LEE is off tonight to get ready for her title match against
CHEERLEADER MELISSA- and it's going to be a big one. Why they would entrust this match to a yutz like
CRUEFAN is beyond me. But first things first- let's talk about the indies!
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: Ring of Honor: New York continues to rock the wrestling world.
KENNY OMEGA & CHRIS SABIN were successful in defending the
ROH:NY Tag Team Titles this week against
EYFBO- but Sabin was injured in a Pearl Harbor job after the match and his status remains unclear. If you ask me, this Faction Wars business has gotten way out of hand!
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: I am definitely looking forward to
ROH:NY Best In The World next weekend.
MOOSE vs. JAY LETHAL in a Fight Without Honor? I'll be glued to the screen for that action!
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: The stars from
Freelance Wrestling made an appearance this week with an exciting Tag Team Scramble match. Kudos to the
FOUR STAR HEROES for outlasting three other teams, including our own
THROWBACKS, to pick up the win!
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: Here in CHIKARA, I am definitely excited about
Freedom Festival 2017. My man Daytondave has signed both KOTI Champions to defend their titles! The
King Of The Indies himself,
ADAM COLE, will be at the Festival to defend his title against
MICHAEL ELGIN. Those two have had a serious rivalry over the years, and Elgin has worked hard to earn his shot at the top dog- how great will that be?
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: And- our own team of
GREEN ANT & FIRE ANT have been named the top contenders to the
KOTI Tag Team Championship. They will cruise into Freedom Festival to challenge
KENNY OMEGA & CHRIS SABIN!(
Cheers)
Sweeney: All right- before I sign off, there is one last thing I need to get off my manly chest. Daytondave- what's the deal with this new tag team that's coming? Last week your cell blew up and you acted like you won the lottery. What's up with that? Inquiring minds want to know…
(
Cheers)
Sweeney: That's all I have for you pencil-necked geeks tonight, so I will kick it back to ringside. The pleasure was yours!
Daytondave: Thanks again, Larry, for your incomparable insights.
Warlord: What about it, Daytondave- who is this great tag team that's coming in? When will they be here?
Daytondave: Still in negotiations. These guys drive a hard bargain, and their manager is a ruthless negotiator. Let's head back to the ring for another top 8 contenders match!
GREG EXCELLENT defeated JIMMY RAVE by disqualificationWith the stakes high for both men, Excellent and Rave went to battle. Excellent took the fight to the arena floor as often as possible, where Rave was clearly out of his element. In desperation, Rave went into his ring jacket and pulled out a spicy red pepper! Rave rubbed the hot pepper into the eyes of Excellent, who staggered around the ringside area screaming and holding his eyes. The referee called for the disqualification.
Daytondave: His eyes! I hope he hasn't suffered any damage!
Excellent: Tacos! Burritos! Chicago Dogs! Heeelllppp!!
Warlord: What an act of unspeakable cruelty! To douse a man in hot pepper and not offer him Mexican food is downright vicious!
Daytondave: Greg! Can you see?
Excellent: Of course I can. I am immune to hot peppers. I just need some nachos!
Daytondave facepalms.Warlord: Lemme take my buddy Waffleman out to the concession stand, Daytondave. In the meantime, I have something to keep you occupied.
The tune, "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John plays overhead. BIG JIM THE ENFORCER struts onto the ring ramp, wearing a prison shirt, black Spandex tights, and pink legwarmers. Big Jim dances his way down the aisle, handing out fliers to the fans. Big Jim slides into the ring and performs several aerobics moves, much to the disgust of the ringside fans. Red-faced, Big Jim finishes handing out the fliers and disappears through the curtain.Daytondave: You can't unsee that... but the man does love his Olivia tunes. Hey- can I get one of those fliers? Who sponsored that appearance?
A stage hand retrieves a flier, and Daytondave holds it up to the camera:Daytondave: You cannot be serious. I suppose when you're at Penn State, it comes with the territory. Can we get back to wrestling?
2017 INDEPENDENT TAG TEAM LEAGUE
THE THROWBACKS (1-3) vs. PIECES OF HATE (2-2)The chaos continued on for the Gekido in their feud with CHIKARA technicos. The Pieces and Throwbacks were hooked up in a tight battle when
COLIN DELANEY & CREECH came to ringside! Words were exchanged, and Creech pulled Jigsaw off the ring apron and decked him with a right hand! The referee immediately called for the bell, unfortunately costing the Throwbacks the defeat, but the war had just begun.
WINNERS (via disqualification): PIECES OF HATECheech and Jigsaw pummeled each other with fists and fury, until SEVENTEEN and deviANT dashed to the ring to join the fracas. TIM DONST and MISTER ZERO hustled to the scene, and the brawl raged out of control for several minutes before officials finally herded the brawlers back to the dressing room.Warlord: Will this madness never end?
Daytondave: Not until Freedom Festival. Now that we have that under control- for the moment- let's check out tonight's Main Event!
MAIN EVENT: HEARTLAND LADIES' CHAMPIONSHIP
CHEERLEADER MELISSA* defeated KIMBER LEE by disqualificationThe Main Event was, quite poccibly, the craziest cluster that the Heartland has ever seen. The air was thick with tension during the pre-match introductions, with referee
CRUEFAN seemingly focused on the task of calling a fair match. But as Cruefan called for the bell, a disturbance arose outside of the ring with the unexpected arrival of
JESSIE MCKAY! Jessie beckoned Cruefan with a wink and a wave, and Cruefan immediately turned his attention to the Aussie beauty. Jessie climbed to the ring apron, fawning over Cruefan.
Daytondave: Cruefan! Keep your eyes on the ring, dude!
As Cruefan was distracted, Kimber Lee backjumped Melissa with a running dropkick! Melissa went down, and Kimber put the boots to her.
LARRY SWEENEY slithered into the ring, handing Kimber a steel chair! Sweeney attempted to restrain Melissa, setting up Kimber for an unprotected chair shot. But out of nowhere, a man at ringside reached into the ring and pulled Sweeney out to the floor! Melissa caught Kimber coming in, and slammed her boot into the chair, causing the chair to bounce off of Kimber's head!
Warlord: She got all of that one!
Kimber tumbled out of the ring with Melissa in pursuit. Sweeney scrambled to his feet and pulled the hood off the ringside interloper to reveal
JOEBREAKDOWN! Joebreakdown restrained Sweeney as Melissa and Kimber battled it out. Cruefan tried to move across to the brawl, but when he turned his back, Jessie nailed him from behind with a low blow!
Daytondave: What the- ?
In all the confusion, Cruefan called for the bell and disqualified Kimber. Kimber grabbed the belt, and left the ring area with Sweeney and Jessie, laughing all the way back to the dressing room as Cruefan staggered to his feet, assisted by Joebreakdown. KIMBER LEE RETAINS THE HEARTLAND LADIES' CHAMPIONSHIPDaytondave: I cannot believe what we just witnessed here, fans. Not shock that Sweeney would have some shenanigans up his sleeve- but Jessie McKay just turned on Cruefan and sided with Sweet 'N Kimber! No doubt, Kimber was happy to suffer the DQ in order to keep her title intact, but there will be a rematch for Cheerleader Melissa and it won't be pretty. All right, fans- we're done here. Thanks for checking us out tonight! CHIKARA will be back in action on Wednesday night with another epic mid-week special. That's our show, and I AM OUTTA HERE!