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Post by Eliath on Jun 14, 2011 4:54:31 GMT -5
Oh yea...one other thing: I'm 100% on my picks so far!  *Self high-five* |
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Post by Crimson Cross on Jun 14, 2011 6:57:59 GMT -5
A very Cool & SOLID event D, I loved how Y2K just rips into Dragonlord with a mean streak...
AD tapping out to Manny has to be a disappointment and Front Line really took it to Godspeed that's for sure...
It's good to see Freak Out win his first match and he opened the show with a BANG!...
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Post by Alexander Ubel on Jun 16, 2011 23:21:52 GMT -5
NEW Card #2
Scene opens on a lit corridor. Standing at the far end are two guards flanking a door. The is quick...thwip!.. and the guard on the right drops is a spray of blood. Before the second guard can even register what happened, Skulk de-cloaks, and rams a knife into his throat. Hijack walks calmly to the door and plants a device near the handle, takes a step back, and blows the door.
Inside the arena, Razor Claw charges in with the Ani-Man Axe-Handle, but gets caught with a knee to the head by Phellan. Theiss blasted him with a second knee before dropping Razor Claw hard with the Andromeda Drop. Razor Sharp writhes on the floor.
Inside the office, The Shadowclan members approach a desk at the far end. Hijack hooks something up to an outlet on the desk and a holographic keyboard appears before him. He begins typing rapidly. After a moment, he unhooks the device before speaking.
Hijack, "We have secured the package. On our way out."
A couple of shadows fall across the room from the hallway.
Alphonse, "You're on your way out alright, but it will be in a body bag."
Theiss mounts Razor Sharp and the roll around on the floor, both trying to gain the upper-hand. Razor Sharp catches Phellan with a wicked knee before regaining his feet. Razor sharp uses the force window to gain momentum and hits the FINAL POUNCE. Theiss is unable to recover and Razor Sharp scores the victory.
Alphonse and Darmondy are on Skulk and Hijack before the Shadowclan can draw their weapons and the four men begin to brawl.
Hijack uses Alphonse's momentum to send him crashing into the desk. Alphonse is doubled over and Hijack hit him with a kidney shot, a set of spurs popping out as he connects. Alphonse drops to the floor. Skulk doesn't fair as well as Darmondy sends him to his knees before restraining him with a full nelson. Darmondy doesn't see Hijack coming and has the back of his head bounced off the floor with a neck snap. Hijack follows up with FROSTBITE and Darmondy is out. Alphonse begins to get to his feet when he is put through Vega's desk by a Proxy Bomb.
The Shadowclan draw blades from their armor, but before they can finish the job, security rushes in discharging their weapons. Skulk activates his cloak and Hijack launches a rocket at the window before jumping out. Security follow to the window and spot Hijack gliding away high above the streets. Skulk also slips out unnoticed.
Back in the arena :
Mot, "Razor Sharp took Theiss Phellan out quickly and cleanly."
Kram, "That boy would have been better off releasing "The Wolfman". Why he would even want to step in the ring in that inferior body is beyond me.
Mot, "Phellan is new to the business. He can only get better form here."
Kram, "If Razor Sharp doesn't kill him first that is."
Mot, "Lets get back to the arena for our next match."
As the Galactic Defender and Zarius enter the arena Mr. Vega gets the news. After a quick flash of anger he storms from the central box and exits the arena. The Code Enforcers get a pop from the crowd as they play to the crowd. Panic Room is announced, but Manic and Fringe fail to appear. The cameras cut to the back where Manic is in a heated discussion with Justin Case.
Manic screams, "What do you mean he isn't here!"
Case, "Calm down. He left some cryptic message about THEM. He won't leave his room."
Manic, "I'm not wrestling by myself."
Case, "I'll see what I can do."
Justin Case activates his phone, "Mr. Vega we have a problem with tonight's match. Fringe no showed."
Vega speaks tersely, "I have problems of my own. If Manic doesn't go out there, then Panic Room forfeits giving The Code Enforcers the win."
The connection is cut before Justin can continue and gives Manic the news. After a moment of thought, Manic walks away from Case and heads for the exit. The Code Enforcers are given the win by forfeit.
Mot, "That's an odd lot Justin Case has taken under his wing."
Kram, "Can't blame Manic for not wanting to go into a two on one conflict."
Mot, "I'm sure Case isn't happy about the outcome. I wonder why Mr. Vega left in such a hurry."
Kram, "he is the boss Mot. He doesn't have to explain anything."
Mot, "Right you are Kram. Up next is Rolex vs Pi."
Pi and Rolex trade shots with neither gaining a clear advantage as the crowd comes alive. Rolex counters Pi coming in for a single leg takedown and drops him with the Cataclysm Bomb. Rolex moves in, scans Pi, and a faint ticking begins. After moment he hits TICKING CLOCK, the impact rolls Pi's eyes into the back of his head, but he manages to kick out. Rolex sets Pi up for a butterfly suplex, but Pi regains his composure, and takes Rolex off his feet with a single leg takedown.
Upper floor of casino :
Vega enters his office in a fury. Takes a look around before approaching the back wall. He touches it and a panel slides open. inside is stacks of cash. Vega takes out two stacks and tosses them to Alphonse and Darmondy.
Mr. Vega, "Consider yourself on retainer until this problem is resolved. I want those two ninjas dead."
Darmondy smiles, "What about Illustrious?"
Vega, "Leave that thief to me. I have something planned for him already."
Back in the arena :
Pi connects with a dropkick and goes for the Fibonacci Sequence when the ticking stops. Rolex rolls behind Pi and hits him with three consecutive back suplexes, bouncing his head off the floor three times before pinning him. Pi is unable to kick out and Rolex scores the victory.
Pi injured 7 cards*
Mot, "It was like Rolex was just bidding his time before exploding with a devastating move."
Kram, "He calls that move MEMENTO MORI. You never know when its coming."
Mot, "Narcotik is up next as he takes on Pride."
Kram, "Pride is a pompous ass. He believes he is better than the rest of us. I hope Narcotik puts him in his place."
Mot, "Assuming Narcotik shows up. Pride just stands for what is right. He is looking to bring honor back to the profession."
Kram, "Honor my ass! He hates on those that don't believe the way he does."
Mot, "Anyway lets get back to the action."
Elsewhere :
The Shadowclan enter a lavish condo on the strip. Illustrious is there with a couple of ladies and The Ace. Hijack tosses a chip in Illustrious' direction who catches it deftly before pocketing it. He nods at Ace who tosses a large gem to Skulk.
Illustrious smiles broadly, "Something extra for your services gentlemen. There is plenty more where that came from if your interested."
Hijack, "If you have the money, you have the services of the Shadowclan."
Illustrious, "That's good to here my friends. Now why don't you join us. We are celebrating."
Skulk and Hijack stand silently before turning and exiting the room.
Illustrious grabs one of the girls and pulls her on to his lap, "Not the social type I guess."
Pride enters the arena wearing new ring gear. A new look of determination in the veterans eyes. Narcotik on the other hand stumbles into the arena and stands in front of Pride swaying slightly. Narcotik takes a wild swing at Pride, who counters with a thrust kick, that puts Narcotik on his ass. He hits Narcotik with Pride and Glory before locking in the Scorpion Deathlock. Narcotik doesn't exactly give up, instead he passes out, giving Pride an easy victory.
Mot , "Well Narcotik showed up. Mr. Case must be so proud of his team so far."
Kram, "It pains me to agree with you Mot, but Justin better get his team in order if he expects them to compete with the ZDF."
Ares enters the arena to a huge pop from the crowd. The lights go dim and the entrance arch at the far end is bathed in a red glow, before Tyr steps through in a burst of fire, clad in new gear.
Ares opens with a punch aimed at Tyr's face. Tyr took it and laughed before charging at Ares with a spear. The Spartan caught Tyr coming in and tied him up in a clinch. Ares delivers several shoulder-butts to drive Tyr back into the force window. Tyr bounces off with incredible force and Ares grabs him up before slamming him hard into the floor. Ares follows Tyr down and locks in a guillotine choke, trying to put him out. Tyr refuses to give up and Ares transitions into STAND YOUR GROUND on the floor. Tyr still refuses to give up, so Ares hauls him to his feet, and slaps him back down with a belly to belly suplex. Ares goes for the pin attempt, but Tyr kicks out. Ares yanks Tyr to his feet and drops him with a short-arm clothesline. Ares waits for Tyr to get to his feet and then spikes him with the SPARTAN SPEAR. Professor sudden explodes from the sidelines with SUDDEN IMPACT, knocking Ares to the floor and giving Tyr time to recover. Both men get to their feet, Tyr is holding his ribs, but fights through the pain to deliver the Volcanic Strike followed by ART OF WAR (Mind Eraser). Ares is out and Tyr places a boot on his chest to score the pin fall.
Tyr injured 2 cards
Mot, "Ares had the match won, but Tyr manages to steal the victory with Sudden's help."
Kram, "That's the benefit of having a manager."
Mot, "Professor Sudden wouldn't have attempted it if Mr. Vega had been here."
Kram, "Well he's not so its all legal."
Mot, "Our main event tonight is Big Superstar taking on Big Daddy Kill."
Big Superstar and BDK enter the arena and are ready to lock up. The two traded momentum early on, but BDK would gain the advantage hitting The Big Elbow, and locking in The Daddy Clamp. BDK was trying to seal the deal with a Faction Bomb, but Big superstar caught him coming in with a Big Boot, splitting his lip. BDK grabbed his mouth as Big superstar took off his weight belt and beat BDK to the floor with it. Big Superstar played to the crowd and got booed loudly. BDK rolled onto his back and Big Superstar hit the SUPERSTAR DROP. Before he can go for the pin though, Damage storms out along with the rest of the faction, and they attacked Big Superstar. This brought out the cWo and a huge brawl erupted between the eight men.
Mr. Vega reemerged in the central box, flanked by The Contract Killers, and signaled security. Guards rushed out and fired stun rifles until the two groups lay unconscious on the arena floor. The show comes to a close.
*I'm testing out a new game mechanic based on the Threshold between a Wrestlers large PIN and the number in (). This may lead to more injuries, but my wrestlers can fight injured, and its brings home the brutal style of combat they are involved in.
Also I tried something a little different with my storytelling and feedback would be great on refining it.
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Post by LWPD on Jun 17, 2011 5:10:32 GMT -5
Pi and Rolex trade shots with neither gaining a clear advantage as the crowd comes alive. Rolex counters Pi coming in for a single leg takedown and drops him with the Cataclysm Bomb. Rolex moves in, scans Pi, and a faint ticking begins. After moment he hits TICKING CLOCK, the impact rolls Pi's eyes into the back of his head, but he manages to kick out. Rolex sets Pi up for a butterfly suplex, but Pi regains his composure, and takes Rolex off his feet with a single leg takedown. ... Pi connects with a dropkick and goes for the Fibonacci Sequence when the ticking stops. Rolex rolls behind Pi and hits him with three consecutive back suplexes, bouncing his head off the floor three times before pinning him. Pi is unable to kick out and Rolex scores the victory. Pi injured 7 cards*Mot, "It was like Rolex was just bidding his time before exploding with a devastating move."
Kram, "He calls that move MEMENTO MORI. You never know when its coming."Great job describing the action. Tough break for π with the injury. Jumbo Tsuruta would be proud of such a stiff Memento Mori. There is never a second to spare against Rolex, always remember your mortality! Mr. Vega reemerged in the central box, flanked by The Contract Killers, and signaled security. Guards rushed out and fired stun rifles until the two groups lay unconscious on the arena floor. The show comes to a close. A wild scene with Mr. Vega at the close. Violence in and out of the ring. Also I tried something a little different with my storytelling and feedback would be great on refining it. An interesting fourth wall style write up. A casino backdrop opens up a lot of creative possibilities. The New Era roster is stacked with colorful characters whose personalities can be delved into in unique ways. The only boundary is your imagination. |
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Post by Eliath on Jun 17, 2011 5:29:39 GMT -5
Here are the only comments you need bro regarding this show, it's structure & my thoughts on how you can improve it:
STANDING OVATION!
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Post by Crimson Cross on Jun 17, 2011 16:53:10 GMT -5
Very Cool to see Razor Sharp over Phellen and the same with Rolex over Π... I love the comments from Mott&Kram about Justin Case and his odd lot of wrestlers in Manic & Fringe... Narcotik passing out to Pride is not a good thing for him, but Cool for Pride... the faction vs. cWo looks to be heating up and that'll be fun to see more of... Here are the only comments you need bro regarding this show, it's structure & my thoughts on how you can improve it: STANDING OVATION! |
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Post by Avarice on Jun 17, 2011 18:58:23 GMT -5
Very well done, sir...it was almost as if I was watching a movie in my head...I could see the matches and then turning to the action in the office, etc...back to the matches. Well done, definitely unique. I like how there's no ring and you use the various other objects like what Y2K jumped from and the window thingy.
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Post by Alexander Ubel on Jun 18, 2011 0:36:10 GMT -5
Very well done, sir...it was almost as if I was watching a movie in my head...I could see the matches and then turning to the action in the office, etc...back to the matches. Well done, definitely unique. I like how there's no ring and you use the various other objects like what Y2K jumped from and the window thingy. Thanks. Each wrestler is outfitted with a personal energy projector that allows them to create elevated platforms (turnbuckles) and the force windows take the place of the Ropes. So while there are no turnbuckle, ring, or ropes rolls any more, Deathjump remains with the use of the platforms. I hope to continue to write the cards this way. Tweaking the style until I find a good balance. Thanks to you all for reading and replying. |
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Post by Justin Case on Jun 18, 2011 12:48:58 GMT -5
very nice. I do believe you have found your niche here! Possible fed of the Quarter winner here folks! Keep up what you're doing, you're golden! |
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Post by Fringe on Jun 19, 2011 7:17:12 GMT -5
Excellent cards! This is definitely going to be one of the feds to keep an eye on. Great work!
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*Self high-five*
