Post by PermanentlyHip on Aug 5, 2008 23:21:53 GMT -5
I don’t know where to start….(GIRL!)
Cuz you tore my life apart….(GIRL!)
You put me through the barbershop window of LOOOOVE…
And you made a heel turn on my heart…(GIRL)
Hours after their victory at Centra Takeover, BOYS MAKING NOISE are standing backstage at Amphitheater Tarkania, about to rush out to perform in front of a packed house full of screaming pre-teen girls. There seems to be some problems backstage…
Omni: This will never do, we can’t possibly…
Odyssey: …go on looking like this.
Avarice: OK, you two, what’s the problem now?
Omni: He has taken my eye-liner..
Odyssey: ..and he has broken my curling iron.
Avarice: …
Patch: DAMMIT THIS IS SOME BS RIGHT HERE! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO PRETTY BOY?
Avarice: You two, got practice your dance moves (The Other cross to the other side of the locker-room) Patch, baby, I’ve explained this before: Iron Hand is a smart guy. What is he always talking about: respect, power, the importance of the titles…you know what all that adds up to? Money. Iron Hand is about money.
So who is he going to help out? The people who make him money, that’s who.
Look at this fed: a bunch of dark, depressing, gloomy groups with dark, depressing, gloomy names. It’s like a contest to decide who’s the most emo.
So we’re going to do the exact opposite. You said it yourself: I’m a pretty boy. Women LOVE me. And look at The Others. With their preternatural agility and precision teamwork, they were practically born to be back-up dancers. And someone like you gives us “street cred.”
Patch: What do you mean, “someone like you?”
Omni: He means that you’re black..
Odyssey: …so that means you’re the DANGEROUS one..
Omni: …like Donnie in the New Kids on the Block.
Patch: IMA B*TCHSLAP BOTH OF YALL!!!
Avarice: Enough! Shut up! Patch, all I’m saying is that between the four of us we have the perfect ingredients for the greatest boy band in the Universe: BOYS MAKING NOISE!!!!
Patch: ….
Avarice: wut?
Patch: You can’t be serious.
Avarice: Think about it….we will market ourselves to women, and young girls, and little kids, and we will be so sweet and so goody goody that we will sell giant heaping piles of merchandise and we push the ratings and we will make so much damned money for this company that there is no way that Iron Hand won’t want to give us preferential treatment!
Patch: What the hell kind of company would push their wrestler based on who sells merchandise to girls and little kids?
Avarice:….
[/irony]
Avarice: So, are you in?
Patch: OK…but I ain’t rappin’
Avarice: Um….ok..I was sort of hoping (Patch stares furiously)..I mean, I sort of assumed …(Patch gets even angrier)…OK, OK, nevermind. We’ll figure something out…Now let’s go out there and give those little teenage monsters the show of their lives!!!!
(Boys Making Noise run out to the audience. Crowd chants: B-M-N! B-M-N! B-M-N!)
I don’t know where to start….(GIRL!)
Cuz you tore my life apart….(GIRL!)
You put me through the barbershop window of LOOOOVE…
And you made a heel turn on my heart…(GIRL)
Cuz you tore my life apart….(GIRL!)
You put me through the barbershop window of LOOOOVE…
And you made a heel turn on my heart…(GIRL)
Hours after their victory at Centra Takeover, BOYS MAKING NOISE are standing backstage at Amphitheater Tarkania, about to rush out to perform in front of a packed house full of screaming pre-teen girls. There seems to be some problems backstage…
Omni: This will never do, we can’t possibly…
Odyssey: …go on looking like this.
Avarice: OK, you two, what’s the problem now?
Omni: He has taken my eye-liner..
Odyssey: ..and he has broken my curling iron.
Avarice: …
Patch: DAMMIT THIS IS SOME BS RIGHT HERE! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO PRETTY BOY?
Avarice: You two, got practice your dance moves (The Other cross to the other side of the locker-room) Patch, baby, I’ve explained this before: Iron Hand is a smart guy. What is he always talking about: respect, power, the importance of the titles…you know what all that adds up to? Money. Iron Hand is about money.
So who is he going to help out? The people who make him money, that’s who.
Look at this fed: a bunch of dark, depressing, gloomy groups with dark, depressing, gloomy names. It’s like a contest to decide who’s the most emo.
So we’re going to do the exact opposite. You said it yourself: I’m a pretty boy. Women LOVE me. And look at The Others. With their preternatural agility and precision teamwork, they were practically born to be back-up dancers. And someone like you gives us “street cred.”
Patch: What do you mean, “someone like you?”
Omni: He means that you’re black..
Odyssey: …so that means you’re the DANGEROUS one..
Omni: …like Donnie in the New Kids on the Block.
Patch: IMA B*TCHSLAP BOTH OF YALL!!!
Avarice: Enough! Shut up! Patch, all I’m saying is that between the four of us we have the perfect ingredients for the greatest boy band in the Universe: BOYS MAKING NOISE!!!!
Patch: ….
Avarice: wut?
Patch: You can’t be serious.
Avarice: Think about it….we will market ourselves to women, and young girls, and little kids, and we will be so sweet and so goody goody that we will sell giant heaping piles of merchandise and we push the ratings and we will make so much damned money for this company that there is no way that Iron Hand won’t want to give us preferential treatment!
Patch: What the hell kind of company would push their wrestler based on who sells merchandise to girls and little kids?
Avarice:….
[/irony]
Avarice: So, are you in?
Patch: OK…but I ain’t rappin’
Avarice: Um….ok..I was sort of hoping (Patch stares furiously)..I mean, I sort of assumed …(Patch gets even angrier)…OK, OK, nevermind. We’ll figure something out…Now let’s go out there and give those little teenage monsters the show of their lives!!!!
(Boys Making Noise run out to the audience. Crowd chants: B-M-N! B-M-N! B-M-N!)
I don’t know where to start….(GIRL!)
Cuz you tore my life apart….(GIRL!)
You put me through the barbershop window of LOOOOVE…
And you made a heel turn on my heart…(GIRL)