1/15/89, "The Royal Rumble"; Houston, TX [PPV]:[Vince McMahon] IT'S TIME TO RUMMMMMMMMBLE! Thirty of the top superstars in the WWF will compete in the ultimate high stakes match to become the World Wrestling Federation Champion! Among the participants: Hulk Hogan! "Macho Man" Randy Savage! The Mighty Hercules! Andre the Giant! Demolition Ax and Smash! The Ullllllltimate Warrior! "Ravishing" Rick Rude! King Kong Bundy! Hillbilly Jim! Mr. Perfect! "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase! The Big Boss Man! Prepare to RUUUUUUMMMMMMBLE!
[Gorilla Monsoon] Welcome everyone to the Summit in Houston, Texas as tonight the World Wrestling Federation will put thirty of the top superstars in the WWF into one match with the goal of finding out who will be the inaugural World Wrestling Federation Champion. I'm Gorilla Monsoon alongside Jesse "The Body" Ventura!
[Jesse Ventura] And for once I don't have to sit next to that puke McMahon and Gorilla I've gotta say I'm almost happy to see you!
[Gorilla Monsoon] A whole card full of WWF action set today Jess topped off obviously by the big one, the Royal Rumble but we'll also find out who the WWF Tag Team Champions will be when the Hart Foundation takes on the Bushwhackers!
[Jesse Ventura] And I think it's gonna be a short night for the Bushwhackers because the Foundation are the best they've ever been here tonight and Gorilla I'm tellin' you, with Jimmy Hart on their side I see no way they can lose this.
[Gorilla Monsoon] That remains to be seen, Jess but let's send it to the Fink for our opening contest!
1.) Tito Santana vs. "The Model" Rick Martel [w/Slick] went to a double countout.
[Gorilla] And now, let's take you to some comments taped earlier today from several of the participants in the Rumble match!
["The Model" Rick Martel] This is the time I've waited for, the Royal Rumble match. I've been training long and I've been training hard to prepare for this match and let's just say if looks could kill, I'd fill a cemetery with my opponents tonight.
[Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat] Tonight, thirty WWF superstars will enter the battleground known as the Royal Rumble match but only one will be victorious and I want everyone in this Royal Rumble to remember that this is one dragon that will scorch your back and I will become the World Wrestling Federation Champion!
[Hillbilly Jim] Woo, the Royal Rumble is here and God Bless America, tonight I'm in this Royal Rumble match and it reminds me of an ol' Friday night barn dance down in my hometown of Mud Pike, Kentucky. We'd be out there just havin' a good ol' time and then everyone's justa throwin' punches and kicks and throwin' everybody out the barn and I gotta tell ya, I feel right at home in that situation so all you other boys in there tonight I want ya to remember that you don't go messin' with a country boy!
[Hulk Hogan] Well ya know somethin', Hulkamaniacs? Tonight we're in the most dangerous match there is in the WWF. The Royal Rumble match! Thirty of the toughest dudes around are gonna be gunning for us, but we've been through all of this before. Tonight, there are no friends! Tonight, there are no partners! It's every man for himself and to all those other twenty nine men, I've just got one question for ya, dudes: WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUMBLES OVER YOU?
Before the next match, the Genius is in the ring with his scroll.
[The Genius] Mr. Perfect, can you hear me as I speak your wondrous name
With your record as unblemished as your face
Koko B. Ware things that he can be a spoiler
But the Genius knows that he'll come in second place
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Genius presents the next Perfect World Wrestling Federation Champion...Mr. Perfect!
2.) Mr. Perfect [w/The Genius] beat Koko B. Ware with the Perfect Plex.
[Gorilla Monsoon] What a victory and although I've gotta disagree on most nights with that little twit on the outside, Mr. Perfect could just wind up being the WWF Champion when tonight is all through, Jess.
[Jesse Ventura] Big win there for Mr. Perfect and what do you mean a twit, Gorilla? He's the world's smartest man, they don't call him the Genius for nothin'!
[Gorilla Monsoon] Well excuse me, Jess. Folks, it remains to be seen if Mr. Perfect can get it done because as you well know, it's the luck of the draw here at the Royal Rumble. Who knows, Mr. Perfect could end up having to go it the whole way through! Let's take you back to ringside!
3.) The Dream Team of Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine [w/Jimmy Hart] beat The Killer Bees of B. Brian Blair and "Jumpin" Jim Brunzell when Brunzell submitted to the Figure Four Leg Lock.
[Jesse Ventura] That's a big win for Jimmy's boys and you know Gorilla, he's got three more matches tonight. Jimmy could in theory leave here in possession of the Tag Team Titles AND the WWF Title.
[Gorilla Monsoon] That's unfortunately true and up next here at the Royal Rumble we've got a great match up for you as the Superfly takes on the Adorable One. Let's go back to Howard.
4.) "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka beat "Adorable" Adrian Adonis [w/Jimmy Hart] with the Superfly Splash. After the match, Snuka took out Jimmy Hart with the Superfly Splash.
[Jesse Ventura] Now what business did he have doing that, Gorilla?
[Gorilla Monsoon] Extracurricular activities, Jess.
[Jesse Ventura] Oh it's fine when one of your favorites does it, huh? He should be fined and suspended! You don't put your hands on a manager!
[Gorilla Monsoon] In any case, coming up next is the big tag team match up with the Hart Foundation who will apparently be without their manager as they take on Luke and Butch, the Bushwhackers.
5.)
WWF Tag Team Championship: The Hart Foundation of Bret "Hitman" Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart beat The Bushwhackers of Luke and Butch with the Hart Attack on Luke.
After a 15:00 intermission, we come back to Gorilla and Jesse.
[Gorilla Monsoon] Jess, the big one is just moments away. Thirty of the top stars in the World Wrestling Federation battling it out to become the WWF Champion.
[Jesse Ventura] It don't get no bigger than this, Gorilla. There's a lot of rumors, a lot of speculation that Ted DiBiase may have spread some money around to get himself into the best position possible. That's just rumor, we'll have to see how everything unfolds.
[Gorilla Monsoon] I wouldn't put it past a low life like DiBiase to try to weasel his way into that number thirty spot. Right now, let's go to some more messages from the Rumble participants!
[The Ultimate Warrior] THIS IS THE NIGHT THE WARRIORS AND I HAVE TRAVELED MILES ACROSS THE GALAXY FOR! THE ROYAL RUMBLE, ENEMIES COMING FROM LEFT AND RIGHT AND ALL AROUND TO TRY TO TAKE WHAT MY WARRIORS AND I CARRY WITH US BUT THERE IS ONE MAN WHO STANDS OUT AMONG THE MERE MORTAL MEN! HULK HOGAN, YOU WALK WITH A DIFFERENT FORCE-FIELD AROUND YOU, YOU ARE NOT A MERE MORTAL, A REAL AMERICAN! THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN AND TONIGHT WE MUST DO BATTLE! TONIGHT HULK HOGAN, WE WILL ENGAGE IN A WAR!
[Andre the Giant] Hulk Hogan! Tonight, I been given money from Ted DiBiase to make sure you don't become champion! Tonight, I'm going to get rid of you forever! Hulkamania will die!
[Mr. Perfect] One down, twenty nine more to go. I told everyone when I came to the WWF that I was the greatest athlete this company will ever see and tonight I beat Koko B. Ware in the middle of the ring. All this speculation about who has the coveted number thirty position. I'll make this perfectly clear right now, Mr. Perfect has the perfect number: number thirty! I didn't buy it, I drew this number just like I'm going to win tonight's match and that's absolutely perfect. And you morons remember one thing, NOBODY beats Mr. Perfect...absolutely nobody.
["Macho Man" Randy Savage] OHHH YEAH! History beckons the Macho Man, thirty of the top superstars in the World Wrestling Federation will enter the ring one by one to see who the best man is and that will be the Macho Man. I'm the cream of the crop, the best of the best and to hell with the rest YEAH! The Macho Man has come tonight to take what is rightfully mine and the rest of the WWF superstars in the Rumble you have to understand that time is limited, yeah. The Madness is gonna take over the WWF starting tonight! OHHHHHHH YEAH! DIG IT!
6.)
The Royal Rumble Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship[ORDER OF ENTRANCE]
1.) Brutus Beefcake
2.) Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
3.) Hercules
4.) "The Model" Rick Martel
5.) "Adorable" Adrian Adonis
6.) Boris Zhukov
7.) Tito Santana
8.) The Missing Link
9.) Ax
10.) The Ultimate Warrior
11.) King Kong Bundy
12.) The Big Boss Man
13.) "Ravishing" Rick Rude
14.) The Mountie
15.) Akeem
16.) "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka
17.) Smash
18.) "Macho Man" Randy Savage
19.) Hulk Hogan
20.) Nikolai Volkoff
21.) Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat
22.) George “The Animal” Steele
23.) Hillbilly Jim
24.) Don Muraco
25.) Cowboy Bob Orton
26.) "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase
27.) Andre the Giant
28.) Koko B. Ware
29.) The Warlord
30.) Mr. Perfect
[ORDER OF ELIMINATION]
1.) Hercules [Adonis, Valentine & Martel]
2.) Martel [Santana]
3.) Santana [Beefcake]
4.) Valentine [Beefcake]
5.) Beefcake [Ax, Adonis & Link]
6.) Zhukov [Warrior]
7.) Ax [Warrior]
8.) Link [Warrior]
9.) Warrior [Rude, Bundy & Adonis]
10.) Rude [Snuka]
11.) Bundy [Adonis, Snuka, Smash & Savage]
12.) Smash [Snuka]
13.) Snuka [Adonis]
14.) Volkoff [Hogan & Savage]
15.) Akeem [Hogan & Savage]
16.) Boss Man [Hogan & Savage]
17.) Steele [Himself]
18.) Mountie [Muraco]
19.) Muraco [Hogan]
20.) Orton [Steamboat]
21.) Adonis [Hogan, Hillbilly & Steamboat]
22.) Warlord [Andre]
23.) Steamboat [Andre]
24.) Koko [Andre]
25.) Hillbilly [Andre]
26.) Perfect [Hogan]
27.) Andre [Hogan & Savage]
28.) Hogan [DiBiase & Andre]
29.) DiBiase [Savage]
[Gorilla Monsoon] What a performance! The Macho Man is the WWF Champion, Jess!
[Jesse Ventura] And he did it on his own! He didn't need the Pukester, Savage got it on his own Monsoon! That's a real World Champion!
[Gorilla Monsoon] Ladies and gentlemen, the next time we'll be on Pay-Per-View and Closed Circuit is on April 5th as we present WrestleMania! For Jesse "The Body", this is Gorilla Monsoon saying goodnight everybody!
[Rumble Stats]
[Longest Time] Adrian Adonis
[Shortest Time] Tito Santana
[Most Eliminations] Hulk Hogan [7]
