NWA: Chikara
The Last Picture Show
Minneapolis, Minnesota
October 22, 2015
Oleg the Usurper (with Sidney Bakabella) vs. ShynronSidney Bakabella’s man outmuscled Shynron right from the opening bell, grabbing hold of his mask by the laces in the back and yanking him down to the mat, hard. Oleg scooped SHynron up off the mat and hit him with a pendulum backbreaker, then nearly decapitated him with OFF WITH HIS HEAD, though he did not make the cover. With Bakabella shouting instructions, Oleg tried to tie up Shynron with some sort of leg lock, though the Usurper was unable to grasp the complex hold and wound up simply stomping on Shynron’s face. Another OFF WITH HIS HEAD, but still no cover; instead Oleg charged across the ring, hit the ropes, and rebounded with a Yakuza Kick. He put one foot across Shynron’s chest and referee Daniel Yost made the count: 1…2…3!
WINNER: Oleg the Usurper via pinfall (4:49)
Four Corners Elimination Match: 3.0 vs. Los Ice Creams vs. The Throwbacks vs. The Osirian PortalFirst Fall: Ophidian started the match against Ice Cream Jr. and quickly found himself in trouble due to Los Ice Creams’ quick tags and innovative double-team offense. El Hijo del Ice Cream made a tactical error in going to the top rope while Ophidian was merely dazed. The Egyptian quickly shook off the cobwebs, mounted the turnbuckles, and took his opponent down with a superplex. Hijo grabbed his neck, and was quickly forced to tap out to Ophidian’s DEATH GRIP. (5:02)
Second Fall: Mark Angelosetti jumped Ophidian immediately, but it did not take long for all six remaining men to find themselves in the ring, in the midst of a wild brawl. Referee Bryce Remsburg was trying to put the illegal men out of the ring, so he missed Angelosetti hitting Ophidian with the EXTRA POINT and making the cover. Amasis dove off the top rope with a knee to Mr. Touchdown’s head, and Ophidian rolled out of the ring, bringing the Funky Pharaoh into the ring legally. Touchdown fought him off and made the tag to Dasher Hatfield, but he fared little better against Amasis and soon fell prey to the EGYPTIAN CONNIPTION for a three-count. (14:17)
Third Fall: Shane Matthews charged into the ring and took Amasis down with a spear, and he and his partner put on a clinic in tag team wrestling, making quick tags and working the masked man over. Matthews and Scott Parker hit the SWEET TASTE OF PROFESSIONALISM, but Ophidian was in to make the save. While Remsburg was ejecting Ophidian from the ring, Parker tossed a steel chair in to his partner, who swung for the fences and connected with a huge blow to Amasis’ head. Unfortunately for the Canadian duo, Bryce Remsburg had turned around just in time to see the illegal move, and he called for the bell. The Osirian Portal sweep the match and earn three points towards contention for the Campeonatos de Parejas!
WINNERS: The Osirian Portal via disqualification (19:27)
Icarus vs. Juan Francisco de CoronadoThis was a rather slow match, as Juan Francisco recognized that he was likely overmatched, while Icarus was protecting himself against injury going into his match for the vacated Grand Championship tomorrow in Chicago. Accordingly, the opening minutes were dominated by arm bars, facelocks, and reverse chinlocks as each man tried to calculate his next move.
Things began to pick up when Icarus transitioned from a chinlock to a waistlock, then went for a German suplex. Juan Francisco flipped over his back and landed on his feet, slapping Icarus in the face when the Winged Ring Warrior turned around. Enraged, Icarus grabbed his opponent by the throat and backed him into the corner, driving shoulder after shoulder into his midsection, then planting him with the Wings of Icarus for two.
Icarus planted the Ecuadoran with a shiranui, then went for a charging clothesline, but Juan Francisco ducked under the move and countered with a kick to the midsection, then a double-underhook power bomb for 1…2…Icarus kicked out! Still weak, Icarus soon found himself trapped in the CORONADO CLUTCH, and rather than risk injury going into tomorrow’s big match, he submitted right away, taking the loss.
WINNER: Juan Francisco de Coronado via submission (13:42)
Jaka (with Sidney Bakabella) vs. Jervis CottonbellyJaka stretched the rules right from the opening bell, raking Cottonbelly’s eye, then dragging his fingernails down the masked man’s back. The savage from Chad went for another eye rake, but Cottonbelly caught him by the wrist and turned it into an arm wringer. Cottonbelly showed off some nice amateur moves, then went for a hip toss, but Jaka blocked it and took him down with a standing clothesline.
Cottonbelly struggled to his feet, only to get taken down again by a release German suplex. Jaka followed up with a running neckbreaker and made the cover: 1…2…and Cottonbelly kicked out! Jaka shot in and clamped on a nerve hold, and Cottonbelly struggled, but ultimately slumped to the mat. Referee Jonathon Barber lifted his arm and dropped it once, twice, and a third time, and called for the bell.
WINNER: Jaka via submission (7:01)
Gran Akuma (with Jakob Hammermeier) vs. Pinkie SanchezDown a man after Stigma’s injury, the Flood was out to send a message, and Akuma was the messenger. He lit up Sanchez with stiff karate kicks, including one to the back of the head after he had snap mared his opponent to the ground. Akuma scored a near fall with a bridging electric chair suplex, then he punished Sanchez with the Yoshi Tonic before going up to the top rope…and getting caught and press slammed to the canvas!
After the slam, Sanchez rallied with a succession of his infamous butt-based attacks: a springboard butt bump, a running butt bump to the corner, even a butt bump while Akuma was tied to the Tree of Woe. Sanchez sprung off the ropes and landed a double stomp to Akuma’s chest, then made the cover: 1…2…no! Akuma kicked out!
Sanchez bounced off the ropes, but Hammermeier tripped him and he fell on his face, then Akuma drove an elbow into the back of his opponent’s head. Another Yoshi Tonic set Sanchez up for the TENCHI CRASH and Akuma made the cover: 1…2…3!
WINNER: Gran Akuma via pinfall (13:12)
Post-Match DramaOnce the match was over, Akuma rolled Sanchez to the apron and kicked him out to the floor, then celebrated with his manager…until Sanchez recovered enough to grab a steel chair and slide back into the ring. Sanchez blasted Akuma with an unprotected chair shot to the back of the head, and the Mystical Warrior went down like a stone. Sanchez swung at Hammermeier and sent him scurrying from the ring and up the aisle while Icarus, Dasher Hatfield, and Mark Angelosetti raced out to restrain Sanchez from inflicting further damage on the unconscious Akuma—who needed to be immobilized and carried off on a stretcher.
European Rules Match for the Campeonatos de Parejas: The Wrecking Crew (with Sidney Bakabella) vs. IncoherenceFirst Fall: Once the carnage from Pinkie Sanchez’s post-match attack was cleaned up, it was time for your MMMMMMMMain Event of the Evening! Gavin Loudspeaker’s ring introductions were cut short when Blast grabbed his microphone and drove it into Frightmare’s head, knocking the masked man for a loop and prompting referee Daniel Yost to call for the bell. Blast immediately took Frightmare down with a SIT-OUT CHOKE SLAM for two, then went to the top rope for a flying clothesline, though Frightmare ducked beneath the move and Blast crashed and burned.
Hallowicked tagged into the match and scored with a GRAVEYARD SMASH, then a GO 2 SLEEPY HOLLOW, each for a two-count. He went for a shoulder tackle, but his larger, stronger opponent knocked him to the mat and tagged in Smash for the DEATH BLOW. Before Smash could make the cover, Frightmre grabbed his opponent’s ankle and dragged him out to the floor. Smash followed him, and Blast and Frightmare became the legal men in the ring. The masked man charged across the ring and hit a quick enzuigiri that stunned Blast, and Frightmare made the cover: 1…2…3! (6:39)
Second Fall: After the thirty-second rest period, Frightmare went right after Blast…but ran into a stone wall and quickly got slammed to the mat. Smash came into the ring, and he and Blast clubbed Frightmare to the mat with fists and stomps. Smash planted Frightmare with a tombstone piledriver for good measure, then went to the top rope for an incredible MOONSAULT for 1…2…3! (11:49)
Third Fall During the rest period, Frightmare rolled out to the floor, bringing his partner into the match. Hallowicked went right after Smash, laying into him with forearms that soon had the big man back on his heels. The masked man made a huge mistake in going for a belly-to-belly suplex: Smash blocked the move, clubbed Hallowicked to the mat, and dropped a big leg across the bck of his neck. He went up top and hit another MOONSAULT—Frightmare got cut off by Blast and referee Bryce Remsburg made the count: 1…2…3!
WINNERS and still Campeonatos de Parejas The Wrecking Crew via pinfall (15:18)
Post-Match DramaWith their win secured, Blast and Smash tossed their opponents out of the ring and celebrated with their manager. Just as they were preparing to leave the ring, a voice was heard over the house speakers.
?: “Hold it! Hold it! Hold it right there!”
Bakabella and his charges turned their attention to the aisle as the
Irish Airborne made their way out from the back, each man holding a microphone.
DAVE CRIST: “You know, me and Jake checked the record books, and back at
King of Trios, we earned three wins and a draw in the Tag Team Gauntlet Match.”
JAKE CRIST: “That’s right, and as we understand it, three wins means three points, and three points means we get a shot at those Tag Team Titles!”
The crowd booed as the Crists referred to Chikara’s Campeonatos de Parejas as “tag team titles,” but the invaders went on.
JAKE CRIST: “So, what we’re going to do is cash in those three points at the
Thanksgiving Classic, and take you on…and win those belts!"
DAVE CRIST: “That’s right! And then, we’ll prove that we are the
best tag team in the National Wrestling Alliance!”
This declaration earned a loud ovation from the crowd, and the show went off the air with Bakabella, Smash, and Blast fuming in the ring.
Match of the Night: The Wrecking Crew d. Incoherence
Wrestling Observer Rating: 3 stars