Universal Elite Wrestling All-Stars
Apr 17, 2024 13:33:41 GMT -5
Justin Case, hexxstar, and 3 more like this
Post by Ken West on Apr 17, 2024 13:33:41 GMT -5
The Drunken Armadillo Sports Network presents....
Blues News
Reporting: Blue Cyclone Dos
Electric Harley House (of Love)
Somewhere in the Nevada deserts
Attendance: 3455
Match 1
The Fabulous Clam vs. Roadkill Raccoon
Interesting opening bout for UEWAS' first card being sponsored by The Fredd Dogg Saloon Gentlemen's Club. If the pro wrestling gig doesnt work out for the Clam maybe he can be a spokes-mollusk for this show's sponsor. Regardless, he had a strong showing against the seemingly deceased critter. One disturbing incident from this bout was the turnbuckle tongue lashing given to Roadkill Raccoon. Fabulous Clam may want to see a physician about shots.
Winner: The Fabulous Clam via pinfall
Match 2
Pelvis Pressly vs. Cleveland Brown
Cleveland Brown is no joke. Poor Pelvis got pummeled in this one. It was over once the match spilled outside the ring. Ladies and Gentlemen, Pelvis has left the building... on a gurney.
Winner; Cleveland Brown via count out
Match 3 - Tag Team Title Tournament Match
P.C. Cartel (Porkchop Zamich & The Ace) (w/ Jolene) vs. Theatre of Pain (w/ The Harlequin)
Round one of the Tag Title Tournament Action! The opening moments saw The Ace take a beating from Comedy & Tragedy. Ace would eventually make it to his corner and tag in Porkchop who manage to turn the tide of the battle briefly until a timely reversal by Comedy. Porkchop used Slobberknocker (brass knux shot) in clear view of the referee which caused the disqualification.
Winners: Theatre of Pain via DQ
Match 4
Alkalil (with Howler) vs. Gordo Bumpkin
Completely one sided affair with the Eater of Ants handing a whoopin' to Bumpkin
Winner: Alkalil via Folivore Faceslam
Match 5
The Throwbacks (Eliza Delight & Rachel-Gwen Sanders) vs. Rarity & Honey
This womens tag match stole the show! Both teams took the fight to one another with the teams switching from offense and defense often! In the end it was Honey with I DONT CARE on Eliza Delight to get the victory... The celebration was short-lived as Candy Apple hit the ring and and attacked Honey while The Throwbacks kept Rarity at bay! Candy hit her finisher over and over and when the attack was over Honey had to be helped to the back!
Winners: Rarity & Honey via I DONT CARE
Honey is injured 3 cards
Match 6 - Tag Team Title Tournament Match
DREADNAUGHT (Belroc & Sekada) vs. Team M-n-M (Brock & Dillon Mason)(w/ King Mook)
Great match that went off the rails violent! These hard hitting rival teams went tooth and nail at each other and the referee lost control more than once. Surprisingly we got a clear finish when Mason Dillon fell victim to CYGNUS SPIKE. DREADNAUGHT decided to try and send a message to all earthlings by putting a vicious beatdown on the Dillon Brothers. Keth Vale hit the ring with a chair and began to clean house! This allowed M-n-M to recover and lay waste to the Cygnusians!
Winners: DREADNAUGHT via pinfall
Belroc & Sekada injured 9 cards.
Team M-n-M & Keth Vale suspended 8 cards.
Match 7 - Main Event
Hunter Green (w/ Bob Hagar) vs. Falcon Parker
This one was short one as Hunter Green couldnt get any momentum going and Falcon Parker put him down with the FALCON ARROW
Winner: Falcon Parker via pinfall
Blues News
Reporting: Blue Cyclone Dos
Universal Elite Wrestling All-Stars
(Sponsored by The Fredd Dogg Saloon Gentlemen's Club - Try our Seafood Buffet... the all -u-can-eat tuna & crabs is satisfactory!)
Electric Harley House (of Love)
Somewhere in the Nevada deserts
Attendance: 3455
Match 1
The Fabulous Clam vs. Roadkill Raccoon
Interesting opening bout for UEWAS' first card being sponsored by The Fredd Dogg Saloon Gentlemen's Club. If the pro wrestling gig doesnt work out for the Clam maybe he can be a spokes-mollusk for this show's sponsor. Regardless, he had a strong showing against the seemingly deceased critter. One disturbing incident from this bout was the turnbuckle tongue lashing given to Roadkill Raccoon. Fabulous Clam may want to see a physician about shots.
Winner: The Fabulous Clam via pinfall
Match 2
Pelvis Pressly vs. Cleveland Brown
Cleveland Brown is no joke. Poor Pelvis got pummeled in this one. It was over once the match spilled outside the ring. Ladies and Gentlemen, Pelvis has left the building... on a gurney.
Winner; Cleveland Brown via count out
Match 3 - Tag Team Title Tournament Match
P.C. Cartel (Porkchop Zamich & The Ace) (w/ Jolene) vs. Theatre of Pain (w/ The Harlequin)
Round one of the Tag Title Tournament Action! The opening moments saw The Ace take a beating from Comedy & Tragedy. Ace would eventually make it to his corner and tag in Porkchop who manage to turn the tide of the battle briefly until a timely reversal by Comedy. Porkchop used Slobberknocker (brass knux shot) in clear view of the referee which caused the disqualification.
Winners: Theatre of Pain via DQ
Match 4
Alkalil (with Howler) vs. Gordo Bumpkin
Completely one sided affair with the Eater of Ants handing a whoopin' to Bumpkin
Winner: Alkalil via Folivore Faceslam
Match 5
The Throwbacks (Eliza Delight & Rachel-Gwen Sanders) vs. Rarity & Honey
This womens tag match stole the show! Both teams took the fight to one another with the teams switching from offense and defense often! In the end it was Honey with I DONT CARE on Eliza Delight to get the victory... The celebration was short-lived as Candy Apple hit the ring and and attacked Honey while The Throwbacks kept Rarity at bay! Candy hit her finisher over and over and when the attack was over Honey had to be helped to the back!
Winners: Rarity & Honey via I DONT CARE
Honey is injured 3 cards
Match 6 - Tag Team Title Tournament Match
DREADNAUGHT (Belroc & Sekada) vs. Team M-n-M (Brock & Dillon Mason)(w/ King Mook)
Great match that went off the rails violent! These hard hitting rival teams went tooth and nail at each other and the referee lost control more than once. Surprisingly we got a clear finish when Mason Dillon fell victim to CYGNUS SPIKE. DREADNAUGHT decided to try and send a message to all earthlings by putting a vicious beatdown on the Dillon Brothers. Keth Vale hit the ring with a chair and began to clean house! This allowed M-n-M to recover and lay waste to the Cygnusians!
Winners: DREADNAUGHT via pinfall
Belroc & Sekada injured 9 cards.
Team M-n-M & Keth Vale suspended 8 cards.
Match 7 - Main Event
Hunter Green (w/ Bob Hagar) vs. Falcon Parker
This one was short one as Hunter Green couldnt get any momentum going and Falcon Parker put him down with the FALCON ARROW
Winner: Falcon Parker via pinfall
