FPW – Friday Night Fist Pump
Oh! It may be raining outside but here in the FPW arena it’s steaming hot!
FPW Management issues the following statement:
“Following information received from Mike Graham at the end of last week’s show, regarding the drawing power of various wrestlers, The Fantastics and Green Ant will no longer be appearing on FPW. Several other claims made by Mike Graham were found to be unsubstantiated.” Getting the audience hot under the collar tonight,
Frank Dalton stomps his way to the ring, accompanied by the beautiful Daltonettes, Peaches and Pearl. Already in the ring, his opponent
Rusty Brooks is being heckled by some ringside fans. It’s a messy affair, more of a brawl than a wrestling match, but it does get the audience warmed up. After taking a beating from Dalton, Brooks shakes off a headlock and crushes Dalton into the turnbuckle. Fearing Dalton is in trouble, Peaches distracts the referee while Pearl throws a loaded handbag to Brooks, who catches it in bewilderment. The referee turns round to catch Brooks with the foreign object and orders him to drop it, but Brooks gets angry. After a bit of back and forth, the fired-up Brooks clocks the referee with the handbag! The bell rings, Brooks is disqualified and Dalton makes his way back up the ramp with a smirk on his face and a Daltonette-shaped lipstick mark on each cheek.
Winner: Frank Dalton
The tag team of
Ron Hutchison and Battle Kat has been gaining popularity and tonight they take on
The Jacksons. Still smarting from blowing their final chance at the tag team championship last week, the Jacksons are hoping to get back on a winning streak. Unfortunately, tonight is not their night as first Matt and then Nick falls victim to a string of white-hot Shediac Lobster Traps, courtesy of everyone’s favourite bump-taker, Hutchison. The brothers try to rally but a Kat’s Cradle knocks the fight out of Nick and sets him up for the inevitable fifth Shediac Lobster Trap, which has him tapping.
Winners: Ron Hutchison and Battle Kat
In an extravagant sequinned robe,
Larry Sharpe grandly makes his way to the ring, accompanied by his loyal friend, Mr X. His opponent
Brian Kendrick is already in the ring, discussing tactics with his associate Giant Bernard. Kendrick will be looking to take out his frustration after losing his chance at championship gold last week. The match gets off to a slow start as Sharpe riles his opponent by ducking between the ropes and refusing to lock up. The audience laughs at Kendrick’s obvious annoyance. Eventually Kendrick almost takes Sharpe’s head off with a corner flip kick and things get started in earnest. Larry Sharpe is on fire tonight as he gains three nearfalls then goes for his finisher, the Piledriver. It looks like Sharpe has got the better of Kendrick and the crowd is on their feet expecting an upset here! But Giant Bernard starts pummelling Mr X at ringside, causing great distress to Sharpe. The distraction allows Brian Kendrick to connect with Sliced Bread #2 and Sharpe is left staring up at the lights.
Winner: Brian KendrickAs Kendrick leaves the ring with Bernard, he yells some meaningless insults at Sharpe and arrogantly throws up his arms to receive the applause he imagines will be coming his way. But instead he hears a chorus of boos, as the audience shows their displeasure at his ill-gotten victory.
Fresh from HBWA, and trying to put the shady circumstances of their departure behind them,
The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell) have arrived in FPW to great excitement! Their first opponents will be
The Chests (Bob Armstrong and Mike Graham), who are oiled up to the max tonight. Following a brief introductory video hyping the Bees, the crowd gives them a warm welcome and the Bees take a mic and introduce themselves. Just as Brunzell is saying how happy he is to be here and how hard he’s gonna work for all his fans, The Chests’ music hits and Mike Graham and Bob Armstrong stride down to the ring, accompanied by Brian Armstrong, who is carrying their gym bags and spare body oil. The match begins competitively with quick tags from both teams keeping the energy up. A flurry of karate chops from Bob Armstrong has Brunzell worried but when Mike Graham takes the action down to the canvas things turn sour for our Chesty heroes. The Bees quickly gain the advantage and Graham only narrowly avoids being pinned. Armstrong takes over and goes for a stinging Chest Slap but Brian Blair ducks and lets fly with a Chest Slap of his own, leaving a bright red handprint on Armstrong’s pectoral area, as a red-faced Graham can only scream from the apron. Three nearfalls later and to add insult to injury, Blair then uses Armstrong’s own finisher against him – he locks on a sleeper. Brian Armstrong frantically throws more body oil to his father to help him slip out from the hold, but his throw is weak and the oil bottle lands at the foot of Jim Brunzell, who kicks it away. Mike Graham rages at Brian’s incompetence and storms the ring, but it’s too late and Armstrong is already tapping.
Winners: The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jumpin’ Jim Brunzell
Frank Gotch is spoiling for a fight tonight, and he’s got his eyes fixed on
Henry Irslinger, who stands trembling in the corner of the ring. Irslinger goes for a weak scissor hold early on but Gotch escapes with ease and exacts his revenge with a series of rolling kneebars that have Irslinger yelping in pain. Irslinger manages to get back on his feet, both metaphorically and literally, and strikes Gotch with a flying headbutt. Gotch kicks out of the subsequent pin with a maniacal grin, wiping blood from his nose across his face in a messy smear. Irslinger panics at the sight of the blood, and Gotch seals the victory with a Guillotine Choke.
Winner: Frank Gotch
Our backstage camera peers into the locker room where
The Killer Bees are celebrating their earlier victory. As
Mike Graham walks by, Brian Blair offers a handshake and says
“It’s good to see you again”. Mike Graham nods,
“It’s great to have you in FPW, my friend” and sits down with his teammates
Bob and Brian Armstrong.
Bob –
“What was that all about? Why are you shaking his hand – you saw what he did to me out there with my own finisher – how dare he!”
Mike –
“Well, he’s an old pal from back in Florida. Things got heated in the ring but he’s a good guy…. might be good to have him on side… if you know what I mean?”
Bob [incredulous] –
“Have him on side? On our team? Are you nuts?”
Mike [getting animated] –
“But he’s got the look! Curly hair, moustache!”
Bob –
“No, Mike! There’s more to life than moustaches!”
Bob looks at Brian,
“Keep growing yours though.”
Ox Baker wants to prove he is championship material in a non-title match against
FPW Champion Brad Armstrong. Our mulleted champ is on top form tonight as an early knee lift has Baker only just kicking out of the pin. Baker throws Armstrong into the ropes but he can’t capitalise and soon a Russian Leg Sweep has him down for the three count. A quick and decisive win: with performances like this every week, Brad Armstrong is looking like a very strong champion indeed!
Winner: Brad Armstrong
FPW Tag Team Champions, Snowdoon (Al Snow and William Muldoon), are riding high after winning the ‘Head on a Pole’ match at Festive Fury, retrieving their manager Head from the clutches of The Jacksons and retaining their tag team titles in one go. With The Jacksons out of the title picture, who is left to challenge them?
In an oversized glittery cowboy hat and matching bumbag,
Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert stands by his Hot Show Showdown Wheel of Fortune and spins the wheel to determine who Snowdoon will face tonight. Suddenly, two strangers burst in. One of them pushes the Wheel of Fortune to the floor while the other thrusts a large bundle of cash into Gilbert’s breast pocket.
“We won’t be needing any tacky, multicoloured wheel to decide who fights the Tag Team Champions tonight, the only colour that matters is green!” Gilbert stands there in shock as the pair make their way to the ring.
Snowdoon’s Manager Head is not at ringside today as she is recuperating from her trauma at the hands of The Jacksons. After a quick word with the ring announcer, the new team is introduced as
The Dibiase Dynasty, Iron Mike and Ted Dibiase - a father and son team. Father and son teams are hot property in FPW with the annual Fathers’ Day Fury event, so this news causes a murmur of interest in the audience. The match gets underway with Muldoon and Iron Mike testing each other out. Iron Mike tags in his son Ted, whom Muldoon immediately covers for a two count. Ted gets to his feet angrily and begins to wreak havoc on the tag team champions, dropping knee on Snow for a two count of his own. The action gets heated and, unseen by the referee, Ted Dibiase pulls a heavy looking black glove from his tights and puts it on. He smacks Snow in the temple and Snow falls to the canvas, dazed. Muldoon points out to the referee that the glove is suspicious but the referee isn’t listening, and Iron Mike delivers a top rope knee drop on the prone Snow for the win. An explosive debut from these newcomers!
Winners: The Dibiase Dynasty (Iron Mike Dibiase and Ted Dibiase)
As the audience files out of the building,
Mr X and Larry Sharpe are nursing their injuries over a cup of tea.
“Not the best night, eh mate?”, says X.
“Could have gone better”, says Sharpe,
“I had Kendrick on the ropes, I was so close to winning and it all fell apart.” Mr X consoles his pal,
“You’re still here though mate! The Invincible Larry Sharpe!” Sharpe manages a smile,
“Thanks mate. What’s next for you, then? After your one hundredth televised match last week, do you have any big plans?” Mr X grins,
“As a matter of fact I do! I’m going to photocopy some new 8x10s and as a little treat for FPW fans, I’ve commissioned a commemorative portrait…!”
See you next week for more fist pumpin’ action! (Tickets still available)