Bagwell:
"Rowdy Roddy Piper. You're still here? You been hiding in your office somewhere, ignoring everything around you? Well, can I be the first the welcome you back. Come on boys, let's give old Grandpa Roddy a hand..."Piper:
"Exsqueeze me? Grandpa? I may be a little older but I ain't done yet pal, and in fact I've been spending a lot of time thinking about you and your boys toys lately. I've been thinking, now this might be because I'm 'old' or a 'grandpa,' but I can't remember signing a contract with Billy Tight Buns and the Cape Town Crybaby back there.."Bagwell:
"Now hold on a minute, pops. Maybe you are going senile. I have a contract as part of a team called the Bubble Butts and there's nothing in it to say that there can't be three of us...hell, I was even thinking of adding another member, seeing as that old plastic face Brutus Beefcake is out of the club, so to say."Piper:
"Now hold your horses there, buck-o. You might have a contract, but your contract is as part of a tag team, and your 'partner' is Mr Beefcake. Seems you to pansys ain't on good terms these days? Well boo-hoo! Suck it up and live with it. There's one contract and two spots on the roster...and if I'm including old Booty Beefcake with you guys that's four of yous. Four into two don't go now, does it?Bagwell:
"What you saying, Piper?"Piper:
"I'm saying, I see a little competition coming on. I'm seeing....Buff Bagwell vs Brutus Beefcake with....Billy Gunn on a pole and....er, PJ Black in a shark cage?"Gunn:
"Have you lost your mind? That makes no sense! How does someone win, and what happens when they do win?"
Piper:
"Ahh...I haven't thought that bit out yet, but I'm sure I will by our next Pay Per View at Maple Leaf Gardens! Oh yeah! Now I remember, that was my big announcement! Oh and Buffy- if you beat Beefcake, you can keep your Bubble Butt gang a little longer. And if you lose? Well, no more Bubble Butts! Not ever!
1. The first match finally gets underway as the team of
Mad Dog Vachon and his younger brother
Butcher Vachon take on
S.D Jones and
Jake 'The Milkman' Milliman- otherwise known as
Chocolate Milk. The crowd always get a kick out of seeing Jones and '
The Milkman,' but Jones doesn't even have time to fire the trademark finger guns as the Vachons ambush their foes before the bell and toss Milliman to the concrete floor. Chocolate Milk rally briefly and Milliman stuns Butcher with a pair of headbutts, but in all honesty, the dairy enhanced duo are out of their depth against the Vachons. Despite Butcher taking some punishment, the match ends with a double attack on Milliman followed by a mad Dog piledriver. Jones bravely tries to make the save, but it's too little, too late.
Winners:
The Vachons
Marty Scurll is backstage with his 'adviser'
Nigel McGuinnes. Last time out,
'The Villain' found himself in the loss column against
Sam Houston after McGuinness interfered. Here the pair are seen talking tactics as McGuinness displays a photograph of tonight's opponent,
Koko B. Ware, seemingly pointing out the weaknesses of the
'Birdman.'
2. Koko B. Ware has been off our screens for a while and it shows as he is dominated early on by Scurll. Ware eats a huge powerbomb for a two count and manages to roll outside. McGuinness distracts Ware and simultaneously tosses the umbrella into the ring for Scurll to use. Ware chases McGuinness, who slides into the ring, leading Ware into a trap. Scurll blasts him in the stomach with the umbrella and the referee calls for the bell! Despite the loss, Scurll and McGuinness assault the man from Union City, TN, leaving him beaten and embarrassed in the centre of the ring. Scurll grabs the mic and announces;
"Now that's what I call true villainy!" as McGuinness looks on and appluads...
Winner:
Koko B. Ware (Via DQ)
Following the
Midnight Express's humiliating defeat in six-man action against
Jim Powers,
Lanny Poffo and
Hillbilly Jim, manager
Jim Cornette has taken it upon himself to temporarily split up his trio for tonight's match ups. Seemingly to blame for the previous defeat,
'Sweet' Stan Lane finds himself in singles action against the big Hillbilly, whilst Cornette joins the commentary team for play-by-play....
3. Lane surprisingly dispatches Hillbilly Jim with ease, delivering four super kicks on the way. The big man has no answer to Lane's speed and cunning and looks totally out of his depth against a much smarter opponent.
Winner:
'Sweet' Stan Lane
After the match, Cornette is full of praise for his man:
Cornette:
"That almost makes up for last week, Stan where you just got a little confused out there and got in the way of proceedings. Don't beat yourself up too much, will you?
Lane:
"Whatever, Cornette. You seemed pretty sure it was all my fault, but tonight I showed you and everybody in attendance what I am capable of. You know where I am if you need me.."
Cornette:
"Stan, Stan...wait! Are you not stating out here to support your team?"
4. With Lane hitting the showers, the team of
'Loverboy' Dennis Condrey and
'Beautiful' Bobby Eaton try to get some revenge for last week's defeat by taking on Jim Powers and
'Leaping' Lanny Poffo. The match is pandemonium from the get-go as the Midnights attempt to ambush Powers and Poffo, but the quick thinking babyface team avoid their charging foes and drop the top rope, sending Condrey and Eaton flying into the arms of their manager. Cornette is fuming and regroups with his charges. Poffo leaps over the top rope and once again sends all three Midnights sprawling on the concrete as Powers whips up the crowd on the apron. A brawl begins on the floor as Eaton and Condrey eventually gain control of the match. Powers is sent into the steel steps and is busted open. Dazed, he walks into a Double Goozle, but Condrey elects to lift him up from the canvas as the ref counts to two. Cornette is loving this now and is especially animated as Condrey drags Poffo into the ring and out onto the concrete on the other side. Eaton drops from the apron to assault Poffo, but the youngster from Downer's Grove, IL uses his speed to avoid a big lariat, leaving Eaton tangled in the guard rail. With the ref distracted with Eaton on the outside, Cornette enters the ring and brains Powers with this tennis racket and then scales the second turnbuckle to deliver another blow. Poffo races around the ring to unseat Cornette who stumbles, crashing into Condrey. Powers rolls to safety and Poffo scales the top turnbuckle to deliver the Sky Drop. It's 1-2-3 and the Midnights are beaten again! Was Poffo the legal man? What's going on here?! The Midnights argue amongst themselves as Poffo and a groggy Powers celebrate back through the curtain.
Winners:
Jim Powers & Lanny PoffoBackstage,
'Exotic' Adrian Street is joined by his valet,
Miss Linda as he cuts a promo on newly-crowned Television Champion,
Fit Finlay:
Street:
"The whole World saw what Fit Finlay did to defeat me for my Television Title in St. Louis. Finlay thinks he's a tough man, but he has to use a weapon to put me away! Well, I will tell you right now, Mr Finlay, I don't play with toys like the other boys. When I get my hands on you, you'll be running back to Mother and MY title will be back around MY waste where it belongs. You wanna play a man's game? Well, it's just begun and you're in there with the meanest and prettiest man there is Let's make our next match....a No Holds Barred match!"
5. Television Champion Fit Finlay is in action next against Mexican youngster
Chavo Pequeno. Finlay parades his belt to the indifferent crowd before dismantling Pequeno relatively quickly. Pequeno shows signs of promise, roliing Finlay up in a Sunset Flip, but ultimately succumbs to the Celtic Cross. A dominant victory for the new Champion.
Winner:
Fit Finlay
Backstage,
The Wyld Studz (Randy Rose &
Marty Jannetty are cutting their usual hot promo before their next encounter:
Jannetty:
"Tonight is gonna be another WYLD night of hot Stud action! We'll be reelin' and a rockin,' boppin' and a-"
Rose:
"Marty, Marty- hold on, pal. I think it may be time to get serious."
Jannetty:
"Whaddya mean, bro? We're here to party all night long, we're chasin' the chicks and catchin the-"
Rose:
"Marty- we've been a team for well over a year now and we haven't got anywhere near the tag straps. Don't you think it's time we concentrated on getting better in the ring?"
Jannetty: (crestfallen)
"Man, I never thought of that. I love the partying, I love the girls and the wild nights out, but dang, we're wrestlers and when it comes down to it, it's titles and wins that matter."
Rose:
"That's right, and that's why I signed us up to face the Road Warriors tonight! It's gonna be real tough, but it's an opportunity to show we mean business. You ready?"
Jannety:
"Man, I was born ready! Last one to the ring buys the beers tonight!"
6. It may be a commendable act, but the
Wyld Studz may have bitten off more than they can chew against the
Road Warriors, despite a lively opening that sees Rose and Jannetty deliver stereo dropkicks to
Hawk before
Animal downs them both with a huge clothesline. Once The Road Warriors gain control, it's academic as the Studz are totally outmatched, with Rose eating an elbow drop before being hoisted up for the Doomsday Device whilst Jannetty watches the proceedings through his fingers....
Winners:
The Road Warriors
After the match, Jannetty goes to check on his felled partner as their opponents pose at ringside. It's a crushing blow for the Studz. Where do they realistically go from here?
7. Since his return to
HBWA,
Bruiser Brody has been on a tear- laying waste to all who dare to face him. Tonight, it's the turn (again) of
Sam Houston, a man who seems to show little fear. Although Houston can more than match Brody for speed, as soon as the wild man from New Mexico gets a hold of him, he is pulverised for a painful five minutes. Houston offers very little, accept for some credible selling. A vertical suplex, one-handed body slam, a leg drop and finally a jumping knee drop finish of the young Texan in some style. If Brody wants a shot at the Heavyweight Title, who is going to refuse him? On this evidence, that day is certainly getting closer...
Winner:
Bruiser Brody8. In his continued war against
Jimmy Hart's 'Hart Foundation,' Greg 'The Hammer' Valentine finds himself up against
Chris Tolos, whose brother
John defeated Valentine a couple of weeks ago, albeit via DQ. Valentine looks fired up once again and dismantles Chris Tolos, despite the efforts of manager Hart at ringside, who does everything he can to both distract Hart and aid his charge. Hart jumps on the ring apron, but is grabbed by Valentine, who tosses him into the ring. Hart scuttles away and slides under the bottom rope as Tolos delivers a knee to the stomach of Valentine. Valentine recovers and stuns his opponent with an Elbow Hammer and a second rope fist drop before applying the figure-four. Tolos holds on for as long as he can, but eventually taps out. A decisive victory for Valentine.
Winner:
Greg 'The Hammer' Valentine
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper is back out before the Main Event of the evening, and he has some announcements about the forthcoming Pay Per View at Maple Leaf Gardens. He runs down a number of matches that get the crowd pumped- including the winner of the next encounter getting a shot at John Tolos' Heavyweight Title....
9. A title eliminator pitting two-time Champion
Harley Race against former Television Champion
Terry Gordy is a real barn-burner. Gordy attempts to rough up the veteran Race by taking the fight to the outside, but Race matches him blow for blow, even swinging a chair at the lumbering Gordy. Gordy out-muscles Race and drops him with a lariat and a bodyslam, but misses a leg drop. Race takes control and scales the turnbuckle to hit a diving headbutt as the crowd pops. Gordy can't recover and his attempt to deliver a backdrop is thwarted as Race plants him with a piledriver to pick up the victory. Harley Race gets another chance to regain the Heavyweight title, and on this showing, it would be hard to bet against him.
Winner:
Harley Race (#1 Contender Heavyweight Title)
Confirmation of the forthcoming Maple Leaf Gardens Card:
HBWA Heavyweight Championship
John Tolos (Champion) Vs Harley Race (Challenger)
HBWA Tag Team Championship
The Midnight Express (Champions) Vs 'Leaping' Lanny Poffo & Jim Powers (Challengers)
HBWA Television Title (No Holds Barred)
Fit Finlay (Champion) Vs 'Exotic' Adrian Street
Billy Gunn On A Pole & PJ Black In A Shark Cage Match
Buff Bagwell Vs Brutus Beefcake
International Exhibition Match
Mil Mascaras Vs Chris Tolos
Women's Heritage Title
Sara Del Rey (Champion) Vs Trish Stratus (Challenger)
Plus: Terry Gordy, Greg Valentine, The Vachons, The Wyld Studz, RoB Van Dam. Marty Scurrl & more!
********