SHOW:
Shades of 1993DATE:
January 17, 2003VENUE:
Children‘s Home of EastonLOCATION:
Easton, PA
1.
”Lightning“ Mike Quackenbush &
Jigsaw defeated
The Order of the Neo Solar Temple when Quackenbush pinned UltraMantis Black following a Quackendriver II!
*2.
Los Ice Creams defeated
The Throwbacks by disqualification when
Dasher Hatfield was DQ’d for making
El Hijo del Ice Cream cry!
3.
Daizee Haze,
Icarus,
Crossbones &
Their Mystery Partner defeated
Sara Del Rey,
Ophidian,
Hallowicked &
Soldier Ant when Icarus pinned Hallowicked following an Emerald Flosion!
**4.
Claudio Castagnoli defeated
Amasis when Castagnoli pinned Amasis following a Ricola Bomb!
**** ALL STAR TRIOS MAIN EVENT *
5.
Young Lions Cup Champion El Generico,
Delirious &
Fire Ant defeated
ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion ”Sweet & Sour” Larry Sweeney,
”King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston &
Chuck Taylor when Delirious pinned Sweeney following a Praying Mantis Bomb!
****
* - In the locker room prior to the match, Johnny Saint visited Quackenbush and Jigsaw. The veteran British grappler explained that his work permit to wrestle in the United States had expired and that he was returning home to England. Saint said that ever since his young pupil, Tim Donst had been abducted by The Order of the Neo Solar Temple at Torneo Cibernetico, he’d done nothing but try to track Donst down and rescue him from the evil clutches of UltraMantis Black. Saint had failed to do this and expressed great regret and guilt, blaming himself for what had happened to Donst. Saint asked Quackenbush and Jigsaw to continue his investigations into where Donst was and why Mantis had abducted him. Saint said that he would return to the US as soon as he was able to. Quackenbush and Jigsaw assured Saint that they would locate Donst and uncover Mantis’ foul plan!
After making their entrance to the ring, Quackenbush and Jigsaw awaited the arrival of their rudo opponents. Expecting to face UltraMantis Black and his loyal devotee, Crossbones, the tecnico pair were taken aback when Mantis appeared with a black cloaked, hooded figure by his side.
Entering the ring, Mantis pulled his tag team partner’s hood down to reveal Tim Donst, heavily adorned in bizarre face paint and sporting an almost zombified visage! Mantis was quick to take to the mic and introduce his newest disciple to The Order of the Neo Solar Temple, “Young Timothy” Donst!
Outraged, Quackenbush and Jigsaw lay into Mantis verbally, condemning his part in Donst’s appalling transformation while “Young Timothy” stood motionless like a stone golem! Tiring quickly of the tecnicos, Mantis waved his magical skull staff and Donst sprung into life, snarling violently as he attacked both Quackenbush and Jigsaw giving the referee no option but to call for the start of the tag team match!
Throughout the contest, Donst look unidentifiable from the talented wrestler we knew from last season, abandoning most of his scientific amateur skills in favor of more aggressive, rule breaking tactics. Despite Quackenbush and Jigsaw trying to get through to Donst and appealing to his better nature, in the ring “Young Timothy” was a ball of fury in stark contrast to whenever he tagged out and returned to the apron, where again Donst became stoic and stone-like.
With The Order on top for most of the bout, Mantis tagged himself in as Donst looked set to pin Quackenbush. As the arrogant, scheming insect cavorted around the ring, cackling to himself and throwing insults to the crowd, “Lightning” Mike was able to recover enough to catch Mantis out of nowhere with his patented Quackendriver II, snatching victory from the jaws (or should that be mandibles?) of defeat!
A shell shocked Mantis scrambled to the rudo corner after the three count, hiding behind the protection of Donst as Quackenbush and Jigsaw celebrated their improbable win! Mantis snatched a mic and promised the tecnicos that this wasn’t the last they’d seen of The Order of the Neo Solar Temple and that 2003 would be THE YEAR OF THE MANTIS!
** - After the respective entrances of the tecnico team, Daizee Haze, Icarus and Crossbones, the rudo team’s final participant was accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner, Claudio Castagnoli and revealed to be a countryman of his, the intimidating 5’11, 230lb
Ares!
Calling themselves “Swiss Money Holding“, the two European bankers announced their union in CHIKARA and that loans with attractive interest rates were available to all the different species in the promotion, including masked wrestlers but NOT for female wrestlers…
With that strange comment, Ares attacked Sara Del Rey much to the delight of Castagnoli and the match was under way!
Throughout the bout, Daizee and Hallowicked went to great lengths to avoid one another in the ring and Ares took every available opportunity to target the co-holder of Los Campeonatos de Parejas, Del Rey with heavy blows and dubious tactics. Ares seemed to only be interested in facing Del Rey, tagging himself in when she was legal and leaving the ring when a different tecnico entered. Unaccustomed to this fresh foe, Sara took a fair beating from the newcomer before the rudo team emerged victorious from the atomico!
Afterwards, with almost everyone involved in the match back in the locker room, Ares and Castagnoli attacked Sara. Amasis, due up next on the card to face Castagnoli in singles action, bravely entered the fray and was able to fend Swiss Money Holding off from the battered and bruised Sara!
Castagnoli took to the mic and explained his and Ares’ actions, stating that for the last six weeks, all he’s heard wherever he’s gone is that Sara Del Rey made him tap out at Cibernetico! Castagnoli reminded everyone that he in fact DID NOT TAP OUT to Sara Del Rey at Cibernetico and that IN ACTUAL FACT Castagnoli eliminated Sara Del Rey from the Cibernetico match after destroying her with a Ricola Bomb!
Grabbing a mic herself, Sara agreed that after outside interference from Chuck Taylor, Castagnoli did indeed pin her at Cibernetico but IN ACTUAL FACT Castagnoli was tapping out to her LeBell Lock submission while Taylor distracted the referee!
Scoffing at such a preposterous notion, Castagnoli informed Sara that she must still be suffering from the effects of his devastating Ricola Bomb as IN ACTUAL FACT her version of events was completely false and clearly fabricated by her inferior female mind!
Livid at such a chauvinistic slur, Sara challenged Castagnoli to a match on the next CHIKARA show to set the record straight! Visibly flustered and obviously reluctant to step into the ring with Sara, a stuttering Castagnoli explained that he would love nothing more than to beat the co-holder of Los Campeonatos de Parejas and demonstrate to the world that females shouldn’t be allowed to compete in professional wrestling but that Swiss Money Holding had already signed to face Incoherence on the next CHIKARA show!
Still incensed by the Swiss Banker‘s bigoted comments, Sara told Castagnoli that he could run from her for now but he couldn’t hide forever!
*** - Despite a gallant effort by the “Funky Pharaoh” after bravely coming to Sara Del Rey’s aid, Castagnoli wasted little time in punishing Amasis for his decision to assist Sara. Castagnoli defeated the Egyptian in under five minutes and was prevented from causing further pain when Sara and Ophidian arrived at ringside after the bell to help Amasis to the back while Castagnoli and Ares celebrated the win.
**** - Quality match. Before the bell, as all six All Stars squared off in the ring, Sweeney took to the mic and explained that for all the deserved success Sweet & Sour International earned in 2002, defending the ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Championship on an almost nightly basis throughout the country, winning the gruelling Tag World Grand Prix tournament to become the first ever Campeones de Parejas and dominating those idiot, ham-and-egger saps Incoherence throughout the year, that was just a start for the blue chip organization!
Sweeney stated that the Acquisitions Department of Sweet & Sour International had been very busy during the holiday period while all the other peons in CHIKARA were stuffing their fat little greasy faces with Christmas turkey! Sweeney proudly introduced the newest member of his organization, the “King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston and put everyone on notice that Sweet & Sour International’s first major goal was to win the King of Trios tournament in March! There ain’t no doubt about it, BAYBEE!
