RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING

[barnestormer]

in conjunction with



presents

BATTLE OF THE TITANS PAY PER HOLO-VIEW
TitanDome; Titan, Saturn

Card #212-45

* The opening montage for the BATTLE OF THE TITANS is played.

PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER HALEY NASH: We welcome you to the BATTLE OF THE TITANS, live on pay per holo-view. I'm Haley Nash, sitting alongside the former Heavenly Wrestling Association Heavyweight champion, Victor E. Victor, we've got an incredible card lined up for the wrestling fans tonight.

COLOR COMMENTATOR VICTOR E.: Incredible's not the word I would choose to describe tonight's card. It's intense! Tonight in our main event, by order of interim Rings of Saturn Wrestling commissioner Massif, Harold Palmer faces Moby Dirke in a Titan Death match, and the loser is out of Rings of Saturn until the end of the 2128 season. Much as I hate to say this, but I think Moby's going to come out the winner of this match and send the ROS' resident “self-love guru” back into the closet for the rest of the year to “practice what he preaches”.

HALEY NASH: These two faced each other at our last pay per holo-view in an old school Heavenly Wrestling Association Tear Gas Match, and there wasn't any winner because they both left the tear gas-filled cage when the door was opened after the first “fall”. Therefore, tonight we will see a clear-cut winner.

VICTOR E.: If I may correct you for a second, Ms. Nash, the Tear Gas Match pre-dated the Heavenly Wrestling Association. It made its first appearance in the now-defunct Milky Way Wrestling Association, which gave its way to the now-defunct Galactic Championship Wrestling, giving way to the HWA and our predecessor, Interstellar Independent Wrestling.

HALEY NASH: I stand corrected. In addition to that exciting match, Slojynn Fez puts his Rings of Saturn Heavyweight title on the line against the man he won it from, Harvard Law School alumna Harvard Yale.

VICTOR E.: This re-match was contractually given to Harvard a month ago, before the new points ranking system basically did away with automatic re-matches, making former champions work their way back up the ladder to earn another shot at the title. I believe Harvard will come out of tonight's pay per holo-view as the new Rings of Saturn Heavyweight champion.

HALEY NASH: At the conclusion our most recent SUPER NOVA program, the Rings of Saturn championship committee announced the creation of a new secondary singles title, the Rings of Saturn Inter-Lunar championship. Tonight, Euphoria, via his win over Lord Alain Windsor, will take on Byron F. Goodrich to determine the first Inter-Lunar champion. Victor, who do you think's going to win the title?

VICTOR E.: In terms of the experience factor, I'm going to have to give the edge to Euphoria, since he's the only one in this match who actually got this title opportunity by way of a pinfall win. As we know, the last two matches, Byron's been in, he's gotten tainted victories over Harold Palmer by way of both a disqualification and a count out win. He's yet to get a successful clean pin over anybody to really impress me.

HALEY NASH: And on that note, let's get you down to the ring for our opening contest.

1. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. PANDORA: Pandora won the opening contest by way of a disqualification due to a brawl outside the ring. (CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)

2. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Ace went ALL IN and got the pinfall victory over his rival. (RECEPTION; Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)

3. DINAH MITE vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna was disqualified in this match due to a brawl outside the ring. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)

4. WALL STREET vs. THE QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: EZ Come used the Capital Ventures to pin “Playboy” Mike Carter and give the win to Wall Street. (RECEPTION: Indiferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)

5. THE TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. SNAKE OIL: The TNT Boyz won the match by disqualification when Flim refused to release the Tarantula hold he had on Terry. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)

6. HUNTER O'RYAN vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie ALWAYS CHEATed when he delivered a solid CHAIR SHOT to Hunter's skull, knocking him out long enough to get the three count. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)

7. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING INTER-LUNAR CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – EUPHORIA vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Euphoria became the inaugural Rings of Saturn Wrestling Inter-Lunar champion when he used the TIGER SUPLEX to get the pinfall on Byron. (RECEPTION: Unfavorable; NEILSON RATING: 2.1)

8. COSMIC CAGE MATCH: PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: For the third time since their rivalry began, Ms. Fitt got the win over Plain Jane when she used the BOW-PLEX to knock Jane out long enough to climb over the cage and drop to the floor of the PitsiCo Arena. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 4.0)

9. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: 18 WHEELERS vs. RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE ANNIHILATORS: The crowd came alive for the first time tonight for this match. Despite being dominated early on, the Annihilators were able to battle back and pick up the victory to hang on to the Rings of Saturn Tag titles when Pthalos used the PTHALO-CUTTER to get the pin on Peter Bilt. (RECEPTION: Favorable; NEILSON RATING: 3.5)

10. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – ANNA FALAXIS vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: The match ended in a double disqualification due to a brawl outside the ring. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)

11. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP RE-MATCH – RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SLOJYNN FEZ vs. HARVARD YALE: Harvard once again became the Rings of Saturn Heavyweight champion when he used the Ivy League to get the pin on Slojynn Fez, who must now work his way back up in the rankings to earn another shot at the title. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)

12. MAIN EVENT – TITAN DEATH MATCH (LOSER TO BE BANISHED FROM RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE 2128 SEASON – HAROLD PALMER vs. MOBY DIRKE: Moby Dirke will be sitting on the sidelines for the remainder of the 2128 season after Harold used the FIVE SISTER to get the pinfall victory. As a dejected Moby walked back up the ramp to the stage, that familiar “white gelatinous substance”dropped down from the ceiling and covered him from head to toe as the crowd cheered. Moby didn't even bother to wipe any of the substance off of his face as he continued to make the slow walk back to his locker room as the show ended. (RECEPTION: Favorable; NEILSON RATING: 2.8)

NEILSON RATING FOR BATTLE OF THE TITANS: 2.8

[barnestormer]

HOUSE SHOW

Iapetus Spectrum, Saturn
Card #2128-H1

1. HERMAN GLOP (w/ZELDA GLOP AT RINGSIDE) vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Herman Glop kicked off the house show tour with a disqualification victory over Dewie Cheatham when the former hover-ambulance chasing shyster lawyer repeatedly smashed a chair into Herman's head.

2. WALL STREET vs. SNAKE OIL: Wall Street defeated Snake Oil when EZ Go used the MARGIN CALL to pin Flim.

3. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: Jane finally managed to get a win over her jealous rival, as she used the NOTHING SPECIAL to get the pinfall on Ms. Fitt.

4. NON-TITLE MATCH: “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: At least twice during the match, Lady Contessa had Rockelle down for the pin, but before she could make a cover, Rockelle kipped up and executed the ROCK BOTTOM, only to get a two count. Rockelle finally managed to get the win when she used a running swinging neckbreaker to get the pinfall on her rival.

5. NON-TITLE MATCH: TNE BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE ANNIHILATORS: If this had been a holo-vision match, this exciting match would've garnered at least a 2.0 in the Neilson ratings. However, since there were no holo-cameras rolling, it is what it is. The Annihilators won the match when Pthalos used the IMMINENT DESTRUCTION to get the pinfall on Terry.

6. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: “Sensational Sonny got the duke over the new Inter-Lunar champion when he used the Sensational Senton Splash to get the pinfall victory.

7. MAIN EVENT -- NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HARVARD YALE vs. LORD ALAIN WINDSOR: The new ROS Heavyweight champion continues to prove his athletic dominance over the British blue-blood as he used the LAW REVIEW to get the pinfall victory to end the show.

Next week, the “A” roster will head to the Great Hunter Lodge on Orion.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Great Hunter Lodge, Orion
Card #2128-H2

1. ZACK PARIS vs. OJ EVANS: Zack Paris won the opening contest when he used a double chicken wing to force OJ Evans to verbally tap out.

2. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: The Skye twins won the match when Lex Skye used the SKYE-BUSTER to pin “Playboy” Mike Carter. After the bell rang, a brawl erupted between both teams. Suddenly, OJ Evans rushed into the ring and began beating on Lex until Zack Paris slid into the ring to even the odds, touching off an all out 6-man brawl. It took the entire ROS security force to break up the melee. When the smoke cleared, interim ROS commissioner Massif delivered a message on a holo-vision transmission that on the next episode of ROS SUPER NOVA, there would be a 6-man tag match with Zack Paris and the Skye-Scrapers facing OJ Evans and the Quintessential Stud Muffins, with Titan Death Match rules applying.

3. HAROLD PALMER vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: With Moby Dirke out of Rings of Saturn Wrestling until the year 2129 following his loss to Harold at the BATTLE OF THE TITANS pay per holo-view, Super-Duper Man was brought in to be Harold's opponent. Harold made short work of him, pinning the wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City with the FIVE SISTERS.

4. DINAH MITE vs. DESTINE: Dinah used the ANFO to get the pinfall victory over Destine.

5. 18 WHEELERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: The 18 Wheelers defeated their long-time rivals when Ken Wurth used the FIFTH WHEEL to get the pinfall on Rayge.

6. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Gamma Ray defeated Ace by disqualification when Ace repeatedly smashed Ray's head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

7. MAIN EVENT: “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER vs. ANNA FALAXIS: This was Rosanne's first official match back since returning from recovering from sexual reassignment surgery which turned her into a fully functioning female. Despite several months of “ring rust”, Rosanne managed to pick up a disqualification victory over the young member of the Pollen Nation following a brawl outside the ring.

Next week, the “B” roster will travel to the Glacier Sound on Pluto.

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HOUSE SHOW

Glacier Sound, Pluto
Card #2128-H3

1. PENNY CANDY vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna used YOU'RE FIRED to pin Penny.

2. HUNTER O'RYAN vs. “ANDROMEDAN MINOTAUR” TAURUS: Taurus attempted the BULL'S EYE, but Hunter moved out of the way at the last second, and the “Andromedan Minotaur” ran headfirst into the turnbuckle, knocking himself out long enough for O'Ryan to get the pinfall.

3. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The Diamonds defeated the Birds of Prey when Casey Turner used the DIAMOND CUTTER to get the pinfall on Vulture.

4. PHYSIQUIEL vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Physiquiel used the PHYSIQUIEL FITNESS to get the pinfall on Byron,

5. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. SHEIK KHALID SIRHAN: Slojynn defeated Sheik Khalid by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

6. MAIN EVENT: HOLLY PENA vs. TUFFY NUFF: Holly used the PICANTE to get the pinfall on Tuffy.

Next week, the “C” roster will travel to the Ariel Armory on Pluto.

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HOUSE SHOW

Ariel Armory, Uranus
Card #2128-H4

1. SK8-R PUNKS vs. KILLER WHALES: The Sk8-R Punks won the match when Radik-L used the Sk8-R Face Gr8-R to pin Willy.

2. CALEB ROMERO vs. RICK VANOVER: Caleb defeated Rick by disqualification when Rick repeatedly smashed Caleb's face into the timekeeper's table.

3. “MEXICAN FIRE BULL” EL TORO FUEGO vs. VINCENT VALENTIN: Vincent used the VALENTIN'S DAY MASSACRE to pin his rival.

4. “JEWISH LIGHTNING” HIRAM VOLTE vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: Bison used the EXTINCTION to pin the “Jewish Lightning.

5. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. “THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: Demiah won this match when after Bertha missed the BOOTY BOMB, the “Devil's Daughter” immediately hit her with the WORMWOOD DRIVER for the pinfall victory.

6. MAIN EVENT: SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. PANDORA: Sarah used the HAPPY ACCIDENT to get the pinfall on her rival. After the match, Sarah continued to hit the HAPPY ACCIDENT on Pandora to the delight of the crowd until Demiah slid into the ring to make the save. Pandora will be out of action for 1 show.

Next week, the “D” roster will travel to the Iapetus Spectrum on Saturn.

[barnestormer]

SUPER NOVA HOLO-VISION RECORDING

PitsiCo Arena; Deimos, Mars
Card #2128-46

1. SUPER-DUPER MAN vs. GAMMA RAY: Gamma Ray used the APOCALYPSE SUPLEX to pin the exiled wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.4

2. HERMAN GLOP (w/ZELDA GLOP AT RINGSIDE) vs. VINCENT VALENTIN: Herman used the GLOP DROP to pin Vincent.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 4.0

3. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. PLAIN JANE WHITE: Plain Jane was disqualified when she repeatedly hit Sarah in the back with a chair outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 4.0

4. CALEB ROMERO vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: Bison defeated Caleb by disqualification when Caleb repeatedly smashed a chair into the “Sioux Warrior's” head outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

5. HOLLY PENA vs. “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON: The “Brahma Bessie” used the ROCK BOTTOM to get the pinfall on Holly.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.6

6. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: Sonny used the SENSATIONALIZED to get the pinfall on Slojynn.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.6

7. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. SK8-R PUNKS: The Sk8-R Punks won the match when Radik-L used a top turnbuckle cross body press to pin Shawn Ross.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.9

8. “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER (IN HER FIRST HOLO-VISED MATCH SINCE RETURNING FROM SEXUAL RE-ASSIGNMENT SURGERY) vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna got the duke in this match when she used the Anaconda Vice to make the “ROS Transsexual Female” submit.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

9. PHYSIQUIEL vs. HUNTER O'RYAN: Hunter was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.4

10. 6-MAN TITAN DEATH GRUDGE TAG TEAM MATCH: ZACK PARIS & THE SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. OJ EVANS & THE QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: OJ and the Stud Muffins won the match when “Sexy Superstar” Aaron Bell used the SHOOTING STAR LEG DROP to get the pinfall on Zack Paris.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

11. DINAH MITE vs. “THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: Dinah used the Ground Shaker to get the pinfall on the “Devil's Daughter”.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.4

12. 18 WHEELERS vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The 18 Wheelers won the match when Ken Wurth used the Jackknife to get the pinfall on Vulture.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

13. RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: WALL STREET vs. RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE ANNIHILATORS: There are NEW Rings of Saturn Tag Team champions, as Wall Street has defeated the Annihilators when EZ Go used the GREAT DEPRESSION to pin Krogon.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.6

14. MAIN EVENT – NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HARVARD YALE vs. HAROLD PALMER: The ROS Heavyweight champion has won this non-title main event match when Harvard used the LAW REVIEW to get the pinfall on Harold.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

NEILSON RATING FOR THE 2128-46 EPISODE OF SUPER NOVA: 3.1

[barnestormer]

HOUSE SHOW

Iapetus Spectrum, Saturn
Card #2128-HD2

1. EL TORO FUEGO vs. VINCENT VALENTIN: The “Mexican Fire Bull” used the MUERTE CALIENTE to get the pinfall on his rival.

2. CALEB ROMERO vs. RICK VANOVER: Vanover used the POWER BOMB to get the pinfall victory over Caleb.

3. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. “THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: Bertha used the BOOTY BOMB to pin the “Devil's Daughter”.

4. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. PANDORA: Pandora got the pinfall after being whipped hard into the turnbuckle by Sarah, but when Mrs. Endehole went to follow it up with a running clothesline, Pandora moved out of the way at the last second, enabling Sarah to hit her head on the ring post and knock herself out.

5. “JEWISH LIGHTNING” HIRAM VOLTE vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: The “Jewish Lightning” was awarded the bout by disqualification when Bison repeatedly slammed Hiram's head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

6. MAIN EVENT: SK8-R PUNKS vs. KILLER WHALES: The Whales won the match when Willy used the BEACHED WHALES to get the pinfall on Gnarl-E.

Next week, the “D” roster will head to the Great Hunter Lodge on Orion.

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HOUSE SHOW

Great Hunter Lodge, Orion
Card #2128-HA2

1. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: Plain Jane used a butterfly backbreaker to get the pinfall on Ms. Fitt.

2. TNT BOYZ vs. THE ANNIHILATORS: The TNT Boyz won the match by disqualification when Pthalos repeatedly smashed Tracey's head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

3. HERMAN GLOP (w/ZELDA GLOP AT RINGSIDE) vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie won the match by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

4. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: The Inter-Lunar champion won this non-title match by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring. As the brawl continued outside the ring, Dewie Cheatham ran down to the ringside area and assists Sonny in a double-team beat down on Euphoria. After the smoke cleared and the two walked back up the entrance ramp with their hands held high as the crowd jeered, Euphoria recovered and challenged Dewie to a match on the next show.

5. NON-TITLE MATCH: “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: Lady Contessa won the match by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

6. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WALL STREET vs. SNAKE OIL: The tag champs won the match when EZ Go used the MARGIN CALL to get the pinfall on Flam.

7. MAIN EVENT: NON-TITLE MATCH: [B[RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION[/B] HARVARD YALE vs. LORD ALAIN WINDSOR: Lord Alain managed to get a pinfall victory on his long-time rival by way of the RULE BRITANNIA.

Next week, the “A” roster will travel to the Glacier Sound on Pluto.

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HOUSE SHOW

Glacier Sound, Pluto
Card #2128-HB2

1. ZACK PARIS vs, OJ EVANS: Zack used the FRENCH BAGUETTE to get OJ to verbally submit.

2. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N, DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Both men brawled outside the ring and were disqualified.

3. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: The Skye twins won the match when Lex Skye used the FALLING SKIES to get the pinfall on “Sexy Superstar” Aaron Bell.

4. HAROLD PALMER vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: Harold used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall victory over the exiled wannabe super hero from Megalopolis City.

5. “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER vs. ANNA FALAXIS: Not to be outdone by her brother, the “ROS Transsexual Female” also used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on her rival.

6. DINAH MITE vs. DESTINE Destine won the match by disqualification when Dinah repeatedly smashed her head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

7. MAIN EVENT: 18 WHEELERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: Road-Rayge won the main event when Rayge used the DEVASTATION to get the pinfall on Ken Wurth.

Next week, the “B” roster will travel to the Ariel Armory on Pluto.

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HOUSE SHOW

Ariel Armory, Uranus
Card #2128-HC2

1. HOLLY PENA vs. TUFFY NUFF: Tuffy won the opening contest when she used the SHO' 'NUFF to get the pinfall on Holly.

2. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. SHEIK KHALID SIRHAN: Slojynn Fez was the winner in this match when he used the HIMALAYAN HANGOVER to get the pinfall on the alleged Middle Eastern terrorist.

3. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The Birds of Prey were the winners in this match when Peregrine used the FALCON'S CLAW to get the pinfall on Shawn Ross.

4. HUNTER O'RYAN vs. “ANDROMEDAN MINOTAUR” TAURUS: The “Andromedan Minotaur” won this match by disqualification when Hunter repeatedly smashed Taurus' face into the timekeeper's table at ringside. After the match, Slojynn Fez and the Diamonds in the Rough ran down to ringside, and along with Hunter, the group deliver one of the worst beatings to Taurus that anyone's ever seen. Each man gave their finisher to Taurus on the hard concrete. When it was all over, Taurus would be hover-stretchered to a waiting hover-ambulance and taken to the local hospital, where he will be out of action for 4 shows. When interim ROS commissioner Massif got wind of the attack, he suspended Hunter and Slojynn for two shows apiece. Neither of the members of the Diamonds in the Rough received a suspension.

5. PENNY CANDY vs. DONNA TRUMP: Penny won this match by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

6. MAIN EVENT: PHYSIQUIEL vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Physiquiel won the main event when he used a full nelson to force Byron to submit.

Next week, the “C” roster will travel to the Iapetus Spectrum on Saturn.

[barnestormer]

SUPER NOVA HOLO-VISION RECORDING

PitsiCo Arena; Deimos, Mars
Card #2128-47

1. “MEXICAN FIRE BULL” EL TORO FUEGO vs. RICK VANOVER: Rick Vanover won the opening contest by disqualification when the “Mexican Fire Bull” repeatedly smashed Rick's head into the announcer's pod at ringside.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

* NEW FROM GRIFFINGATE MUSIC: Be the first in your part of the galaxy to own the debut album from grunge-funk artists The Seattle-lites, PUSH THE RED BUTTON TO BEGIN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, available for 20 Federates on uTunes!

2. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. DESTINE: Destine won this bout via disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

3. PENNY CANDY vs TUFFY NUFF: Tuffy hit the SHO' 'NUFF twice to get the pinfall victory over Penny.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.4

4. “JEWISH LIGHTNING” HIRAM VOLTE vs. LORD ALAIN WINDSOR: The “Jewish Lightning” used the VOLTE CUTTER to get the pinfall on the British blue-blood.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.7

5. SK8-R PUNKS vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The Birds of Prey won the match when Vulture used a rear naked choke to force Gnarl-E to tap out.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.6

6, BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. PANDORA: Bertha used the BOOTY BOMB to get the pinfall on Pandora.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.5

* BLUE DRAGON RESTAURANT: Founded by former Heavenly Wrestling Association wrestler Tokimasu Matsudaira, the Blue Dragon Restaurant features a wide variety of Japanese cuisine at low prices. There are currently three locations, one in Osaka, Japan on Earth, one on Titan, Saturn, and now they're proud to announce their grand opening on Deimos, Mars.

7. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: Road-Rayge won the match when Roadkill used a top turnbuckle cross body block to get the pinfall on Lex Skye.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

8. ZACK PARIS vs. HAROLD PALMER: Harold used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on Zack in short order.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.5

9. PHYSIQUIEL vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: Physiquiel used the PHYSIQUIEL FITNESS to get the pinfall on the exiled wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

* PITSI-POP - The soda with half the carbonation for more of that graet cola taste. PITSI-POP: HALF THE FIZZ, DOUBLE THE WHIZ-BANG!

* GRIFFINGATE MUSIC: The debut album of techno-metal band Flotsam and Jetson, SPROCKETS, is currently celebrating its 9th consecutive week as the #1 download on uTunes!

10. NON-TITLE MATCH: “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: The ROS Women's champion won this non-title match when she used the ROYAL PAIN to force Rosanne to tap out.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.6

* Nuke Acne Pads: The only acne cleansing pads with the atomic power of Tridellium 7. (Warning: The USFP Surgeon General does not recommend this product for human use, due to the cancer inducing levels of radiation in the active ingredient Tridellium 7.)

11. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: WALL STREET vs. ANNIHILATORS: The ROS Tag Team champions defeated the former tag champions when EZ Go used the GREAT DEPRESSION to get the pinfall on Krogon.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.8

12. MAIN EVENT: NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie Cheatham was disqualified in this grudge match when he was caught ALWAYS CHEATing by THROWing POWDER INTO Euphoria's EYES.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

NEILSON RATING FOR THE 2128-46 EPISODE OF SUPER NOVA: 2.5

[barnestormer]

HOUSE SHOW

Iapetus Spectrum, Saturn
Card #2128-HC3

1. SUPER-DUPER MAN vs. SHEIK KHALID SIRHAN: Sheik Khalid used a piledriver to get the pinfall on the exiled wannabe super hero from Megalopolis City.

2. PENNY CANDY vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna Trump defeated Penny Candy by disqualification when Penny repeatedly smashed Donna's head into the time keeper's table outside the ring.

3. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The Diamonds won the match when Casey Turner used two consecutive DIAMOND CUTTERs to get the pinfall on Peregrine.

4. HOLLY PENA vs. TUFFY NUFF: Holly Pena used the Iconoclasm to get the pinfall on Tuffy.

5. MAIN EVENT: PHYSIQUIEL vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Byron started off the match by attempting to throw Physiquiel into the ropes, but then after the Golden Gym member rebounded off them for the second time and Byron set up to deliver a back body drop, Physiquiel put on the brakes and nailed him with a piledriver before hitting him with the PHYSIQUIEL FITNESS to get the pinfall.

Next week, the “C” roster will head to the Great Hunter Lodge on Orion.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Great Hunter Lodge, Orion
Card #2128-HD3

1. “MEXICAN FIRE BULL” EL TORO FUEGO vs. VINCENT VALENTIN: Vincent Valentin used the VALENTIN'S DAY MASSACRE to get the pinfall on the “Mexican Fire Bull”. After the match was over, the brawl between these two rivals was on. Suddenly, the “Sioux Warrior” Bison slid into the ring and attacked El Toro Fuego. Together he and Vincent alternated between hitting the VDM and the EXTINCTION on El Toro Fuego until they were chased out of the ring by the “Jewish Lightning” Hiram Volte and Caleb Romero. El Toro Fuego was holo-stretchered to the trainer's room, where he was declared out of action for two shows.

2. CALEB ROMERO vs. RICK VANOVER: Rick Vanover used the POWER BOMB to get the pinfall on his rival Caleb Romero.

3. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. “THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: Demiah defeated the “Apple-Bottom Diva” by disqualification when Bertha repeatedly smashed the “Devil's Daughter's” head into the time keeper's table outside the ring.

4. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. PANDORA: Sarah defeated Pandora by disqualification when the former Pride and Honor Fighting women's MMA champion repeatedly smashed Sarah's head into the time keeper's table outside the ring.

5. “JEWISH LIGHTNING” HIRAM VOLTE vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: Hiram attempted to get revenge for El Toro Fuego on Bison for his part in the “Mexican Fire

Bull's” injuries earlier in the evening, but unfortunately he wasn't able to get the job done on this night as the “Sioux Warrior” used the EXTINCTION to get the pinfall on his rival.

6. MAIN EVENT: SK8-R PUNKS vs. KILLER WHALES: The Sk8-R Punks won the main event match when Radik-L used the Sk8-R Face Gr8-R to get the pinfall on Willy.

Next week, the “D” roster will travel to the Glacier Sound on Pluto.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Glacier Sound, Pluto
Card #2128-HA3

1. HERMAN GLOP (w/ZELDA GLOP AT RINGSIDE) vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie was disqualified in the opening contest when he repeatedly hit Herman in the head outside the ring with a chair.

2. TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. ANNIHILATORS: The Annihilators won the match when Pthalos used the IMMINENT DESTRUCTION to get the pinfall on Terry.

3. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: Plain Jane used a butterfly suplex to get the pinfall on Ms. Fitt.

4. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: Sonny Owens defeated the ROS Inter-Lunar champion by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

5. NON-TITLE MATCH: “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION[/U] LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: When three consecutive ROCK BOTTOMs couldn't put away the ROS Women's champion, the “Brahma Bessie” softened up Lady Contessa further before finally being able to put her away with a fourth ROCK BOTTOM.

6. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WALL STREET vs. SNAKE OIL: The ROS Tag Team champions were the victors in this match as EZ Go used the MARGIN CALL to get the pinfall on Flim.

7. MAIN EVENT – NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HARVARD YALE vs. LORD ALAIN WINDSOR: Even though it was a non-title match, Lord Alain treated this match with his rival like he was going after the title, getting at least four consecutive unsuccessful pin attempts before finally putting away the ROS Heavyweight champion with the RULE BRITTANIA. After the three count was registered, as Lord Alain celebrated his victory, the Harvard Law School graduate recovered and dragged the British blue-blood to the middle of the ring where he repeatedly hit him with the LAW REVIEW. Lord Alain was taken from the ring on a hover-stretcher. and will be out of action for two shows.

Next week, the “A” roster will travel to the Ariel Armory on Uranus.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Ariel Armory, Uranus
Card #2128-HC2

1. ZACK PARIS vs. OJ EVANS: Zack Paris used the FRENCH BAGUETTE to get OJ Evans to verbally submit.

2. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N.DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Gamma Ray used the APOCALYPSE SUPLEX to get the pinfall on Ace. After the match, the

brawl continued between the two until OJ Evans slid into the ring and proceeded to help Gamma Ray deliver a double-team beat-down on the Vegas gambler, leaving him beaten and battered in the ring. Once OJ and Ray left the ring to the jeers of the crowd, Ace recovered and challenged OJ to a match on the upcoming episode of SUPER NOVA.

3. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: The Skye-Scrapers won the match in quick fashion when Rex Skye used the SKYE-BUSTER to get the pinfall on

“Playboy” Mike Carter.

4. “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER vs. ANNA FALAXIS: The “ROS Transsexual Female” used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on the Pollen Nation resident.

5. DINAH MITE vs. DESTINE: Destine defeated Dinah in this match by way of a count out victory.

6. HAROLD PALMER vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: Harold Palmer used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on the exiled wannabe super hero from Megalopolis City.

7. MAIN EVENT: 18 WHEELERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: The 18 Wheelers won the main event when Peter Bilt used the FIFTH WHEEL to get the pinfall on Roadkill while Rayge looked on in surprise.

Next week, the “B” roster will travel to the Iapetus Spectrum on Saturn.

[barnestormer]

SUPER NOVA HOLO-VISION RECORDING

PitsiCo Arena; Deimos, Mars
Card #2128-47

1. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. OJ EVANS: This is a grudge match stemming from a post-match attack OJ took part in at a house show at the Ariel Armory on Uranus. OJ hardly got in any offense, being dominated nearly the entire match before being pinned after the Vegas gambler went ALL IN.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.7

2. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. “DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: “The Devil's Daughter” used the Satanic Stunner to get the pinfall on Plain Jane.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.9

3. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. DESTINE: Destine was disqualified when she repeatedly smashed Sarah's head into the announcer's pod at ringside.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

4. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. ANNIHILATORS: The Diamonds In the rough won the match when Shawn Ross used the Air Raid Crash to get the pinfall on Krogon.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.4

5. “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER: The “Brahma Bessie” used the PEOPLE'S ELBOW to get the pinfall on the “ROS Transsexual Female”.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 4.0

PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING

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* PITSI-POP - The soda with half the carbonation for more of that graet cola taste. PITSI-POP: HALF THE FIZZ, DOUBLE THE WHIZ-BANG!

6. HOLLY PENA vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna was disqualified in this match following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

7. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. SK8-R PUNKS: The Punks won the match when Gnarl-E used a running lariat to pin Lex Skye.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

8. HAROLD PALMER vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: The “Self-Love Guru” used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on the “Sioux Warrior”.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.7

9. PHYSIQUIEL vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: The “Sensational One” was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 1.0


10. MAIN EVENT: RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WALL STREET vs. 18 WHEELERS: Wall Street successfully defended the ROS Tag straps when EZ Go used the MARGIN CALL to get the pinfall on Ken Wurth.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 4.0

NEILSON RATING FOR THE 2128-46 EPISODE OF SUPER NOVA: 3.0

[barnestormer]

HOUSE SHOW

Iapetus Spectrum, Saturn
Card #2128-HD4

1. SUPER-DUPER MAN vs. VINCENT VALENTIN: Vincent used the VALENTIN'S DAY MASSACRE to put away the exiled wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City.

2. CALEB ROMERO vs. RICK VANOVER: Caleb used a gut wrench backbreaker to get the pinfall on his rival and former DANG THEY'RE TOUGH housemate.

3. “JEWISH LIGHTNING” HIRAM VOLTE vs. “SIOUX WARRIOR” BISON: Hiram used the VOLTE CUTTER to get the pinfall on Bison.

4. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. PANDORA: Sarah used the HAPPY ACCIDENT to get the pinfall on Pandora.

5. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. “DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: After a hard-fought back and forth battle, the “Devil's Daughter” got the disqualification victory following a brawl outside the ring.

6. MAIN EVENT: SK8-R PUNKS vs. KILLER WHALES: The Killer Whales got the victory in the main event when Willy used the BEACHED WHALES to get the pinfall on Radik-L.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Great Hunter Lodge, Orion
Card #2128-HA4

1. HERMAN GLOP (w/ZELDA GLOP AT RINGSIDE) vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie ALWAYS CHEATED by giving Herman a blow to the “ding-ding” and was disqualified for his despicable act.

2. PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: Ms. Fitt was disqualified in this match following a brawl outside the ring.

3. TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. ANNIHILATORS: Then TNT Boyz won the match when Pthalos attempted a running clothesline on Tracey after throwing him into the turnbuckle, however Tracey moved out of the way at the last second, allowing Pthalos to knock himself out when his head hit the turnbuckle post long enough for Tracey to get the pinfall as Krogon watched from the apron.

4. NON-TITLE MATCH: “PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: After three consecutive ROCK BOTTOMs, the “Brahma Bessie” got the pinfall on the ROS Women's champion.

5. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WALL STREET vs. SNAKE OIL: Snake Oil was the victor in this match when Flim used a lariat to get the pinfall on EZ Come.

6. NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: The ROS Inter-Lunar champion was disqualified in this non-title bout when he repeatedly smashed a chair into Sonny's skull outside the ring.

7. MAIN EVENT: NON-TITLE MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HARVARD YALE vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: The ROS Heavyweight champion picked up the win in this disappointing main event match when after Super-Duper Man missed the opportunity to connect with the SUPER-DUPER MAN PUNCH, Harvard capitalized on the miss by hitting him with the LAW REVIEW for the pinfall victory.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Glacier Sound, Pluto
Card #2128-HB4[/center]

1. “ROS TRANSSEXUAL FEMALE” ROSANNE PALMER vs. ANNA FALAXIS: After two consecutive ALLERGIC REACTIONS, the Pollen Nation member got the pinfall over the “ROS Transsexual Female”.

2. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: The Skye-Scrapers won the match when Rex Skye used the FALLING SKIES to get the pinfall on “Playboy” Mike Carter.

3. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Gamma Ray was disqualified in this match when he repeatedly smashed Ace's head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

4. ZACK PARIS vs. OJ EVANS: Zack Paris got the pinfall over OJ Evans by way of a hammerlock scoop slam.

5. HAROLD PALMER vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: Harold got the pinfall win over the exiled wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City by way of the FIVE SISTERS.

6. DINAH MITE vs. DESTINE: Despite hitting a triple succession of YOUR DESTINY finishers and Dinah accidentally knocking down the referee during a deathjump spot earlier in the match, Destine managed to battle back and hit one more YOUR DESTINY finisher to get the pinfall on her opponent.

7. MAIN EVENT: 18 WHEELERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: The 18 Wheelers got win in this main event contest when after Rayge hit the FURIOUS ANGER on Peter Bilt and Ken Wurth came in used the Breaker 1-9 to break up the pinfall, Peter used the FIFTH WHEEL to get the pinfall on Rayge.

---

HOUSE SHOW

Ariel Armory, Uranus
Card #2128-HC4

1. HUNTER O'RYAN vs. SUPER-DUPER MAN: When the exiled wannabe superhero from Megalopolis City missed the SUPER-DUPER MAN PUNCH, Hunter capitalized and used a cobra clutch suplex to get the pinfall victory.

2. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. SHEIKH KHALID SIRHAN: Slojynn Fez got the pinfall win over the alleged Middle Eastern terrorist by way of the HIMALAYAN HANGOVER.

3. HOLLY PENA vs. TUFFY NUFF: Tuffy Nuff was disqualified for repeatedly hitting Holly Pena in the back with a chair outside the ring.

4. PENNY CANDY vs. DONNA TRUMP: Penny Candy was disqualified for repeatedly smashing Donna Trump's head into the timekeeper's table at ringside.

5. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. BIRDS OF PREY: The Birds of Prey picked up the victory over the Diamonds when Peregrine used the FALCON'S CLAW to get the pinfall on Shawn Ross.

6. MAIN EVENT: PHYSIQUIEL vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Physiquiel won the main event match when Byron was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring.

Following the conclusion of the BEST OF THE BEST pay per holo-view, there will be a roster shake-up as there will now be two rosters instead of four. In addition, new rivalries will emerge as the best singles, tag team, and women wrestlers (both face and heel) will be placed on the “A” roster, while the “B” roster will consist of those trying to make their way to the “A” roster.

[barnestormer]

SUPER NOVA HOLO-VISION RECORDING

PitsiCo Arena; Deimos, Mars
Card #2128-47

1. HOLLY PENA vs. DESTINE: Holly Pena won the opening contest by way of disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 1.0

2. SK8-R PUNKS vs. THE ANNIHILATORS: The Annihilators won this match when Radik-L was disqualified for repeatedly smashing Pthalos' head into the announcer's pod at ringside.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

3. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. LORD ALAIN WINDSOR: This match had only just barely started when Slojynn Fez used a tornado ddt to get the pinfall on the British blue blood.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.9

4. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. ROAD-RAYGE: Road-Rayge defeated the Diamonds In the Rough when Pthalos used the PTHALO-CUTTER to get the pinfall on Shawn Ross.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 1.4

5. SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. “THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER” DEMIAH: Sarah used the HAPPY ACCIDENT to get the pinfall on the “Devil's Daughter”.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

6. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: The “Sensational One” used the Sensational Senton Splash to pin the Vegas high-roller.

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

7. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. KILLER WHALES: The Killer Whales picked up the victory when Willy used the BEACHED WHALES to get the pinfall on Rex Skye.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.2

8. TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. BIRDS OF PREY: This match ended in a double disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

CROWD REACTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.3

9. “THE PEOPLE'S DIVA” ROCKELLE JOHNSON vs. MS. FITT: Ms. Fitt used a belly to back suplex backbreaker to get the pinfall on the “Brahma Bessie.”

CROWD REACTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0


10. MAIN EVENT: NUMBER 1 CONTENDERS MATCH TO DETERMINE WHO WILL CHALLENGE HARVARD YALE AT THE BEST OF THE BEST PAY PER HOLO-VIEW FOR THE RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: HAROLD PALMER vs. PHYSIQUIEL: Physiquiel used the PHYSIQUIEL FITNESS to get the pinfall on the “Self-Love Guru” and secure the opportunity to challenge Harvard Yale for the Rings of Saturn Heavyweight title at the BEST OF THE BEST pay per holo-view.

CROWD REACTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.6


NEILSON RATING FOR THE 2128-46 EPISODE OF SUPER NOVA: 2.3

[barnestormer]

in conjunction with

presents
BATTLE OF THE TITANS
LIVE ON PAY PER HOLO-VIEW

Card #ROS-2128-PPHV 10

1. HOLLY PENA vs. ANNA FALAXIS: Holly Pena was disqualified in the opening contest after repeatedly smashing Anna's head into the announcer's pod outside the ring.

CROWD RECEPTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.5

2. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH vs. KILLER WHALES: The Diamonds won this very exciting tag match after Shawn Ross used the DIAMOND CUTTER to get the pinfall on Willy.

CROWD RECEPTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.1

3. SLOJYNN FEZ vs. “SENSATIONAL” SONNY OWENS: The “Sensational One” totally dominated Slojynn before using the Titan Power Sledge to put him away.

CROWD RECEPTION: Unfavorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.2

4. ZACK PARIS vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie Cheatham picked up the victory over Zack Paris after the French submission specialist was counted out.

CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

5. SKYE-SCRAPERS vs. ROAD-RAYGE: This was an exciting tag match, the fans were never sure from one minute to the next who would get the upper hand. Road-Rayge got the win when Rayge used the DEVASTATION to get the pinfall win on Rex Skye.

CROWD RECEPTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 5.1 (The highest rated segment in the history of Rings of Saturn Wrestling)

6. TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. ANNIHILATORS: The TNT Boyz picked up the victory when Terry used the C-4 to get the pinfall win on Krogon.

CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

7. NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO DETERMINE WHO WILL CHALLENGE LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR FOR THE RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP: SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE vs. MS. FITT: Sarah earned the right to face Lady Contessa Windsor later in the program after using the HAPPY ACCIDENT to get the pinfall on Ms. Fitt.

CROWD RECEPTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 3.7

AUTOMATED RING ANNOUNCER VOICE: Ladies and gentlemen of all species, it is now time for the pie-eating contest. Would you please welcome the host for the contest...

(ONE TENSION-BUILDING LONG PAUSE LATER)

VOICE-OVER: If you smell-l-l-l-l...what the Rock is cookin'! (The crowd erupts as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who has been brought forward in time from 2014, to take part in this segment. Once it ends, he will be sent back in time with all memories of the future erased.)

VICTOR E.: I can't believe it! It's the most electrifying man in all of sports and entertainment! This is the big surprise you've been mentioning, Haley?

HALEY NASH: Surprise, Victor! Dwayne Johnson has had quite the knack for what we're about to see.

VICTOR E.: Now the only question I've got is why Rings of Saturn is allowing this “pie-eating” contest to take place. I realize that they want to pay homage to wrestling's past, but from what I remember from old videos I've seen of these so-called “contests”, they weren't very “family friendly”. (“The Rock” enters the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, where he salutes the crowd in his own familiar way, with his nose in the air as if he were “smelling what he was cooking” and his fist raised high.)

HALEY NASH: I think that with the low Neilson rating numbers they've been seeing in the front office that PitsiCorp is willing to let the occasional “R-rated” segment slide. (The Rock grabs a microphone and walks to the middle of the ring).

THE ROCK: Finally, The Rock has come back to...The Rock has come back to...it doesn't matter where The Rock has come back to! (The crowd goes nuts over his amalgamation of two of his most famous catch phrases.) Now, The Rock is not saying that to disrespect this wonderful arena we're in right now, but I'm not going remember any of this once I return to 2014. But The Rock digresses. You're not here to see me yammer on and on and on and on and on. You're here to see three of the most beautiful women in the Rings of Saturn Wrestling promotion take place in The Rock's “pie-eating” contest. So what do you say we bring these lovely ladies out right now? (The crowd erupts). Our first contestant, “Sweet” Penny Candy! (There's a small pop as Penny Candy walks down the entrance ramp and steps into the ring.) Our second contestant...Would the commissioner please come out here and clarify this for me? (Interim Rings of Saturn Wrestling commissioner Massif steps through the curtain and enters the ring, where he shakes hands with The Rock.) This information here can't be correct. (Massif looks at the cards that The Rock has been reading off of.)

MASSIF: That information's correct.

THE ROCK: Well, The Rock's not one to judge. Our next contestant is the “Rings of Saturn Transsexual Female” Rosanne Palmer. (The crowd delivers a little bit larger of a pop than they did for Penny Candy as Rosanne walks down the ramp and enters the ring.) And our last contestant...(The Rock raises “The People's Eyebrow” and looks at Massif, who give him a “thumbs up”. The Rock cracks a smile.) She is “The People's Diva” Rockelle Johnson. (The crowd delivers a huge pop as Rockelle enters the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, and gives the same salute to the crowd that The Rock gave when he came down to the ring before climbing down and standing in front of her alleged great-great grandfather.) Now let The Rock get this straight. You are related to The Rock...

ROCKELLE JOHNSON: I'm your great-great granddaughter. Are you OK with your descendant taking part in your little “contest”?

THE ROCK: Hey, it's your life. I have no say in it. (Rockelle gives The Rock a familial kiss on the cheek before taking her place next to Rosanne. The Rock walks over to Rosanne.) You know, mama, you may have been a male at one time, but The Rock has to say that he wouldn't mind giving you a taste of his “strudel”.

ROSANNE PALMER: If I didn't already have a boyfriend, I'd have taken you up on that offer.

THE ROCK: And your boyfriend, is he a wrestler, as well?

ROSANNE PALMER: No, he's a musician. In fact his band's debut album has been number one on the charts for almost six months. And he's a transsexual male.

THE ROCK: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow your roll, little lady. The Rock didn't ask for your life story. Alright, I sort of did, but that was just too much information for The Rock. (The Rock turns to Penny Candy.) Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing. (Penny blushes at The Rock.) You look like you could get The Rock arrested for statutory rape, you look so young. Can The Rock ask you how old you are. (Penny acts shocked that The Rock would ask her that question) You know what? You're right. It doesn't matter what your age is. But let The Rock ask you this. Do you like...(The Rock places his right leg in front of him and thrusts his hips suggestively at Penny.) strudel?

PENNY CANDY: I've had strudel before. In fact, the kind I like the most have that sweet creamy white filling in the middle. (The Rock jumps back “in shock” over Penny's answer)

THE ROCK: My, my, my, underneath that sweet exterior, you're a s-s-s-sick freak!

PENNY CANDY: No, that was just the line I was given by the writers.

THE ROCK: Alright, what do you say we get this little contest started. (The crowd cheers). These are the rules of this contest. You'll each be given 90 seconds to show us the most creative way that you can eat the pie that's being placed before you. (Three ring attendants enter the ring with pedestals. Sitting on each pedestal is an aluminum pie plate loaded with whipped cream. One pedestal is placed in front of each of the three women.) Rosanne, we're going to start with you. Your time starts now.

(Rosanne picks up her pie and places it on the mat. She then gets on her hands and knees and begins to seductively lick up the whipped cream as she wiggles her hips as the crowd whoops and hollers until her 90 seconds has expired.)

THE ROCK: Damn, woman. After seeing that, The Rock's going to need to wipe down with “The People's Towel”, that was so hot. And you used to be a guy?

ROSANNE PALMER: Correction, I used to be a she-male.

THE ROCK: The Rock stands corrected. OK, Penny, let's see if you can top that. (Penny stares at her pie, and then at Rosanne before turning to The Rock and asking for the mike.)

PENNY CANDY: I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, but this really isn't my style. I really don't know why I was chosen to take part in your contest. I'm afraid I'm going to have to withdraw. (Penny kisses The Rock on the “People's Cheek” and leaves the ring as the crowd jeers.)

THE ROCK: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop that booing, right now. The Rock respects Penny for her decision. She's only thinking about her dignity. Well, then. It looks like we've saved, hopefully, the best for last. My great-great granddaughter, “The Brahma Bessie”, “The Most Electrifying Diva In Sports-Entertainment”, “The People's Diva” Rockelle Johnson. Come on, girl, show these fans how the Johnson family are “the most electrifying eye brow raising, hair-raising, jabroni beating, pie-eating” family members in God's vast universe.

ROCKELLE JOHNSON: Well, Rockelle hates to disappoint you, grandpa, but Rockelle is not going to be eating this here pie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What Rockelle is going to do is pick this pie up...(Rockelle walks over to her pie and picks it up) she's going to shine it up real nice... (Rockelle goes through the pantomime motion of “shining up” her pie) and then once she gets it shined up nice and pretty...

THE ROCK: You're going to turn that sum-bitch sideways and stick it straight up...

ROCKELLE JOHNSON: Wrong, you s-s-s-sick freak! No what Rockelle's going to do is call out someone who loves pie more than her and give it to him to eat.

THE ROCK: Well now, this is an intriguing twist to this old bit. Who are you calling out?

ROCKELLE JOHNSON: Come on out, baby! (All eyes turn towards the entrance, and the number one contender to the Rings of Saturn Wrestling Inter-Lunar Heavyweight title, Harold Palmer steps through the curtain and walks down to the ring.

THE ROCK: Who in the blue hell are you?

HAROLD PALMER: My name is...

THE ROCK: It doesn't matter what your name is! (The crowd erupts at this timeless old dis.) But seriously, who are you?

HAROLD PALMER: I'm Rosanne's brother, Harold.

THE ROCK (Pointing at Harold): Harold? As in “Harry” Palmer? ...Wait a minute, (The Rock points at Rosanne) Rosanne? As in “Rosie” Palmer? Your parents must have a real sense of humor naming you two Harry and Rosie Palmer. Tell me, Harry, do you...(The Rock begins to make the universal motion of male masturbation)

HAROLD PALMER: You got a problem with a little “self-love”, the safest form of sex there is in the universe?

THE ROCK: No, to each his own. But tell The Rock this, if you like to...you know, how would you know about eating pie?

HAROLD PALMER: Just because I practice the art of “self-love” doesn't mean that I don't occasionally like to partake of the “pie.” In fact, I've got no problem diving into a real good “muff-pie” every now and again. Allow me to demonstrate. Rockelle, if you please? (Rockelle hands her pie to Harold and then lies on her back in the center of the ring and spreads her legs. Harold places the pie on the mat between her leg as close to her crotch as he can get it to go.)

THE ROCK: Hey, now wait a minute, that's my family!

ROCKELLE JOHNSON: I'm a big girl, grandpa. I can make my own decisions. (Harold climbs to the top turnbuckle as Rosanne scoots out of the ring and dives for cover. Apparently she knows what Harold's planning to do.)

HAROLD PALMER: COWABUNGA! (Harold dives off the turnbuckle and lands face-first in the pie plate, sending whipped cream “exploding” all over the ring, on Rockelle's crotch, and all over The Rock's face as the crowd delivers the loudest pop in the history of the PitsiCo Arena. As The Rock stands in the corner laughing “The People's Ass” off, Harold rubs his face back and forth in the pie plate before standing up and grabbing The Rock's mike.) Now I don't know about you, Rocky, but that's some good pie! If you smell what I'm cookin'!

THE ROCK: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the pie-eating contest is...Harold Palmer! (Harold salutes the crowd before sliding out of the ring and then reaching under it, pulling out what appears to be an industrial-sized “super-soaker” with a huge hose attached to the butt end of the “gun”. He pulls the trigger, and pressurized whipped cream fires out of the barrel of the “gun” into the crowd as they eat it up, figuratively and literally. When the pressure dwindles down to nothing, Harold drops the device before running around to the opposite side of the ring, where the announcers pod is located and pulls out another whipped cream shooter. On the barrel of this shooter is painted the words “Love Gun”. All of a sudden, LOVE GUN by KISS begins blaring through the speakers as Harold “pulls the trigger of his 'Love Gun', shooting whipped cream into the crowd, and even manages to spray Haley and Victor before the “gun” loses pressure and quits spraying. Harold drops the “Love Gun” and slides back into the ring, where he and Rockelle share a kiss on the lips before he walks over and hugs The Rock, smearing some of the whipped cream still on his face on Dwayne's cheek. When he pulls away, Rosanne walks up to The Rock and licks the whipped cream off of his face, suggestively.)

VICTOR E.: Haley, you can't say I didn't tell you how “family-unfriendly” this bit was going to get. Look at this, I'm covered in...

HALEY NASH: Don't say it, Victor.

VICTOR E.: I was going to say whipped cream. Harry's going to be getting my dry cleaning bill.

HALEY NASH: Oh, relax and have some fun, Victor. Harold's just having some fun before he gets ready to challenge Euphoria for the Rings of Saturn Inter-Lunar title. On a side note, did we notice a bit of a “love connection” between Harold and Rockelle? That was quite a lip-lock he put on her. Fans, once we get this mess cleaned up, (Sarah N. Dipity-Endehole or Ms. Fitt) will challenge Lady Contessa Windsor for the Rings of Saturn Women's championship. Right now, let's take you to this holo-video profile of the latest addition to the Rings of Saturn Wrestling roster.

(The holo-video vignette of Los Bastardo plays on the holo-screen as the ring attendants clean up the ring area of whipped cream.)

CROWD RECEPTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 4.1

9. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE – or – MS. FITT vs. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: Lady Contessa Windsor is still the Rings of Saturn Wrestling Women's champion after using the ROYAL PAIN to force Mrs. Ace Endehole to tap out.

CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 2.0

10. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS WALL STREET vs. THE 18 WHEELERS: We have new Rings of Saturn Tag Team champions as the 18 Wheelers got the win over Wall Street when Peter Bilt used a choke slam to get the pinfall on EZ Go.

CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent
NEILSON RATING: 3.0

11. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING INTER-LUNAR CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING INTER-LUNAR CHAMPION EUPHORIA vs. HAROLD PALMER: Harold Palmer became the new Rings of Saturn Wrestling Inter-Lunar champion when he used the FIVE SISTERS to get the pinfall on Euphoria.

CROWD RECEPTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 4.6

12. MAIN EVENT: RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION HARVARD YALE vs. PHYSIQUIEL: Physiquiel made an unsuccessful bid in the main event to become the Rings of Saturn Wrestling Heavyweight champion, as he was disqualified for repeatedly smashing the Harvard Law School graduate's head into the announcer's pod at ringside.

CROWD RECEPTION: Favorable
NEILSON RATING: 2.7

NEILSON RATING FOR BEST OF THE BEST: 3.2