RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING May 6, 2014 12:26:25 GMT -5
Post by barnestormer on May 6, 2014 12:26:25 GMT -5
in conjunction with
BATTLE OF THE TITANS PAY PER HOLO-VIEW
TitanDome; Titan, Saturn
* The opening montage for the BATTLE OF THE TITANS is played.
PLAY-BY-PLAY ANNOUNCER HALEY NASH: We welcome you to the BATTLE OF THE TITANS, live on pay per holo-view. I'm Haley Nash, sitting alongside the former Heavenly Wrestling Association Heavyweight champion, Victor E. Victor, we've got an incredible card lined up for the wrestling fans tonight.
COLOR COMMENTATOR VICTOR E.: Incredible's not the word I would choose to describe tonight's card. It's intense! Tonight in our main event, by order of interim Rings of Saturn Wrestling commissioner Massif, Harold Palmer faces Moby Dirke in a Titan Death match, and the loser is out of Rings of Saturn until the end of the 2128 season. Much as I hate to say this, but I think Moby's going to come out the winner of this match and send the ROS' resident “self-love guru” back into the closet for the rest of the year to “practice what he preaches”.
HALEY NASH: These two faced each other at our last pay per holo-view in an old school Heavenly Wrestling Association Tear Gas Match, and there wasn't any winner because they both left the tear gas-filled cage when the door was opened after the first “fall”. Therefore, tonight we will see a clear-cut winner.
VICTOR E.: If I may correct you for a second, Ms. Nash, the Tear Gas Match pre-dated the Heavenly Wrestling Association. It made its first appearance in the now-defunct Milky Way Wrestling Association, which gave its way to the now-defunct Galactic Championship Wrestling, giving way to the HWA and our predecessor, Interstellar Independent Wrestling.
HALEY NASH: I stand corrected. In addition to that exciting match, Slojynn Fez puts his Rings of Saturn Heavyweight title on the line against the man he won it from, Harvard Law School alumna Harvard Yale.
VICTOR E.: This re-match was contractually given to Harvard a month ago, before the new points ranking system basically did away with automatic re-matches, making former champions work their way back up the ladder to earn another shot at the title. I believe Harvard will come out of tonight's pay per holo-view as the new Rings of Saturn Heavyweight champion.
HALEY NASH: At the conclusion our most recent SUPER NOVA program, the Rings of Saturn championship committee announced the creation of a new secondary singles title, the Rings of Saturn Inter-Lunar championship. Tonight, Euphoria, via his win over Lord Alain Windsor, will take on Byron F. Goodrich to determine the first Inter-Lunar champion. Victor, who do you think's going to win the title?
VICTOR E.: In terms of the experience factor, I'm going to have to give the edge to Euphoria, since he's the only one in this match who actually got this title opportunity by way of a pinfall win. As we know, the last two matches, Byron's been in, he's gotten tainted victories over Harold Palmer by way of both a disqualification and a count out win. He's yet to get a successful clean pin over anybody to really impress me.
HALEY NASH: And on that note, let's get you down to the ring for our opening contest.
1. BOOTYLICIOUS BERTHA vs. PANDORA: Pandora won the opening contest by way of a disqualification due to a brawl outside the ring. (CROWD RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)
2. ACE ENDEHOLE (w/SARAH N. DIPITY-ENDEHOLE AT RINGSIDE) vs. GAMMA RAY: Ace went ALL IN and got the pinfall victory over his rival. (RECEPTION; Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)
3. DINAH MITE vs. DONNA TRUMP: Donna was disqualified in this match due to a brawl outside the ring. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)
4. WALL STREET vs. THE QUINTESSENTIAL STUD MUFFINS: EZ Come used the Capital Ventures to pin “Playboy” Mike Carter and give the win to Wall Street. (RECEPTION: Indiferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)
5. THE TNT BOYZ (w/DINAH MITE AT RINGSIDE) vs. SNAKE OIL: The TNT Boyz won the match by disqualification when Flim refused to release the Tarantula hold he had on Terry. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)
6. HUNTER O'RYAN vs. DEWIE CHEATHAM (w/HOWE AT RINGSIDE): Dewie ALWAYS CHEATed when he delivered a solid CHAIR SHOT to Hunter's skull, knocking him out long enough to get the three count. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 2.0)
7. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING INTER-LUNAR CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – EUPHORIA vs. BYRON F. GOODRICH: Euphoria became the inaugural Rings of Saturn Wrestling Inter-Lunar champion when he used the TIGER SUPLEX to get the pinfall on Byron. (RECEPTION: Unfavorable; NEILSON RATING: 2.1)
8. COSMIC CAGE MATCH: PLAIN JANE WHITE vs. MS. FITT: For the third time since their rivalry began, Ms. Fitt got the win over Plain Jane when she used the BOW-PLEX to knock Jane out long enough to climb over the cage and drop to the floor of the PitsiCo Arena. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 4.0)
9. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: 18 WHEELERS vs. RINGS OF SATURN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE ANNIHILATORS: The crowd came alive for the first time tonight for this match. Despite being dominated early on, the Annihilators were able to battle back and pick up the victory to hang on to the Rings of Saturn Tag titles when Pthalos used the PTHALO-CUTTER to get the pin on Peter Bilt. (RECEPTION: Favorable; NEILSON RATING: 3.5)
10. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – ANNA FALAXIS vs. RINGS OF SATURN WOMEN'S CHAMPION LADY CONTESSA WINDSOR: The match ended in a double disqualification due to a brawl outside the ring. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)
11. RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP RE-MATCH – RINGS OF SATURN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SLOJYNN FEZ vs. HARVARD YALE: Harvard once again became the Rings of Saturn Heavyweight champion when he used the Ivy League to get the pin on Slojynn Fez, who must now work his way back up in the rankings to earn another shot at the title. (RECEPTION: Indifferent; NEILSON RATING: 3.0)
12. MAIN EVENT – TITAN DEATH MATCH (LOSER TO BE BANISHED FROM RINGS OF SATURN WRESTLING FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE 2128 SEASON – HAROLD PALMER vs. MOBY DIRKE: Moby Dirke will be sitting on the sidelines for the remainder of the 2128 season after Harold used the FIVE SISTER to get the pinfall victory. As a dejected Moby walked back up the ramp to the stage, that familiar “white gelatinous substance”dropped down from the ceiling and covered him from head to toe as the crowd cheered. Moby didn't even bother to wipe any of the substance off of his face as he continued to make the slow walk back to his locker room as the show ended. (RECEPTION: Favorable; NEILSON RATING: 2.8)
NEILSON RATING FOR BATTLE OF THE TITANS: 2.8