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A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Reboot Post No 0000010"When you can spell subpoena...without thinking about it...that's when you know...you've made it..."- David Lee Roth...
LXG Commissioner - Charlie Cox...
LXG TV Announcer - Johnny Fairplay...
LXG Ring Announcer - Gary Michael Capetta...
LXG Referee - Bryce Remsburg...
Current Champions:
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LXG Super Heavyweight Champion -
One Man Gang - 1 victory and counting...LXG Heavyweight Champion -
Wolf - 4 victories and counting...LXG Light Heavyweight Champion -
Antonino Rocca - 5 victories and counting...LXG Tag Team Champions -
Kyle O'Reilly & Bobby Fish / Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff / The Road Warriors - All have 2 victories - The Road Warriors are the only one's still counting...LXG Ladies Champion -
Amanda The Relentless - 4 victories and counting...Tonight's Results - Inside The Ring:
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▪ LXG Super Heavyweight Champion - One Man Gang (0 Fatigue) defeated Faller (1 Fatigue) via Pinfall - Gang pinned Faller after his execution of his 747 SPLASH finisher at the 3:00 minute mark...
Faller wins over the crowd by showing a lot of heart in this brief contest...▪ LXG Light Heavyweight Champion - Antonino Rocca (0 Fatigue) defeated BD Abroz (0 Fatigue) via Pinfall - Rocca pinned Abroz after his high Flying Dropkicks maneuver...at the 1:00 minute mark...
Rocca becomes the first in The Reboot Era to amass 6 victories as Abroz insists that Rocca is sleeping with Lady Luck...▪ New Money - Marcus Colby (1 Fatigue) & Davey Boy Smith (3 Fatigues) With Magnus Colby & Justin Case defeated The Natives - Krud (3 Fatigues) & Ygorr (5 Fatigues) With Moog (1 Pin Saving Interference) via Submission - Colby forced Ygorr to submit to his Million Dollar Dream maneuver (A Cobra Clutch Sleeper)...at the 36:00 minute mark...
New Money won the bout, but per the "Na-tives" chant the standing ovation was strictly for The Natives...▪
LXG Ladies Champion - Amanda The Relentless (aka Assassin A) (1 Fatigue) defeated Ida Mae Martinez (1 Fatigue) via Pinfall - Amanda pinned Martinez after her DARK VOID primary finisher (Her Version of A Widow's Peak)...at the 6:00 minute mark...
Amanda continues to dominate the ladies division by notching her 5th victory tonight...▪ Dick Hutton (2 Fatigues) defeated The Original Sheik (5 Fatigues) With Abdullah Farouk (1 Botched Submission Distraction, 1 Interference) via Disqualification - The Sheik was disqualified for Felonious Brawling Outside The Ring...at the 21:00 minute mark...
Hutton is determined to have someone in his corner for the rematch...(Note: This match result triggers an automatic re-match)...
▪ Helsin (3 Fatigues) defeated Overtime (6 Fatigues) via Count Out - Overtime was counted out after Helsin Powerbombed him Over The Barrier And Into An Evacuated Section of The Front Row...at the 27:00 minute mark...
When this bout suddenly got out of hand it really got out if hand...(Note: This match result triggers an automatic re-match)...
▪ The Road Warriors - Hawk (4 Fatigues) & Animal (8 Fatigues) With Paul Ellering (1 Pin Saving Distraction, 1 Pin Saving Interference) defeated The Killer Bees - B. Brian Blair (3 Fatigues) & Jim Brunzell (1 Fatigue) via Disqualification - Blair was disqualified for Trying To Strangle Animal With Television Cabling Outside The Ring...at the 48:00 minute mark...
The Bees are also strongly considering having someone in their corner for the rematch to offset Ellerings presence...(Note: This match result triggers an automatic re-match)...
▪
LXG Heavyweight Champion - Wolf (0 Fatigue) defeated Hector The Holy Brown Bear (2 Fatigues) via Submission - Wolf forced Hector to submit to his SAVAGE FACE CLAW finisher...at the 6:00 minute mark...
Wolf gets a modicum of revenge for Afghanistan Bananastan and almost forces Remsburg to reverse the decision after Wolf at first refused to release the hold...Tonight's Results - Outside The Ring:
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▪ Hector is currently training BD Endgame...physically...as well as psychologically:BD Endgame - I'll admit...you're ways...are...clever...Hector - I am...beyond...clever...my friend...I am...Everything!...▪ In a meeting between the entire team of Afghanistan Bananastan...and various pro bono legal co-counsels...the high level census is that just about every one of these suits brought against The LXG should be settled as quickly as possible...without going to court and especially...without any lengthy retainers and fees...The LXG just can't cover those costs...and their credit...although substantial...will only go so far...this time around...▪ During a break in the meeting...as he was grabbing a nervous cigarette by himself outside on 4th Avenue...right in front of The LXG's 79th street apartment...Little Beaver was approached by someone...who even in the shadows...still had one unmistakable figure:Ms. Lady Luck (in a horribly seductive voice) - I heard...every word...that was just uttered...up there...Little Beaver (nervously...while thinking to himself...I'm a good fed owner...I'm a good fed owner) - Oh...a...ok...
Ms. Lady Luck - I know someone...who...could make all of The LXG's money problems...disappear...Little Beaver (after a few seconds in thought...and knowing who she associates with) - The...Sisterhood?...Ms. Lady Luck - No...however...this is someone...who I...work for...and someone...that you could technically say...we all...work for...are you familiar with...a place called...The Mirages?...Little Beaver - No...where is it?...Ms. Lady Luck - A vast dessert...on the far side...of Merapis...Little Beaver (while reaching for his cell phone and dialing...while trying very hard...to stare only at her eyes) - I'll call Sky...can we uhh...interest you in some pizza?...its from Lento's...Ms. Lady Luck - Sky already knows...of who I speak...Lentos?...Pepperoni and jalapeno?...Little Beaver (a little taken of guard) - Yes...we have...that...Screwed:
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▪ Screw's first interviewee is Jazz...who ranted and raved at just about everything you could think of...but before the conversation can really even get started...Thrash stormed onto the set...which seemed to further irritate Screw...as Thrash and Jazz started yelling & throwing punches at each other...Screw decided to take a side...He picks up a chair...looks at Thrash...but then smashes Jazz in the head with it...
Then...Screw yells out...Next!...
▪ Screw let The World's Greatest Tag Team just ramble on...he had heard them...but didn't listen at all...all he kept thinking about...was Thrash...she's definitely been working out...thought he...as he downed his large tumbler filled with whiskey...Shelton Benjamin asked Screw why was Jazz on the floor in the corner...Screw said it's her nap time...
Then...as Charlie Haas was still babling on and on...Screw yelled out...Next!...
▪ Whatever the hell he was saying...Dr. Cube had the most irritating and mocking tone...sounded like a whiny nightmare pinned underneath a bus...but what really pissed off Screw was...he just finished the last drop...of the last bottle he had...he delivered a Decapitator (A Running Clothesline) to Dr. Cube...took some money out of Dr. Cube's wallet...and stormed off the set...
As the show slowly faded to black...
Screw - Is Thrash Still Here?!?...Where'd She Go?!?...And so began the double edged talk show career...of Screw...a man most people loved to hate...
The "Win To Get Back In" Tournament Competitors Announced To Date:( Jazz )
( Thrash )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( The World's Greatest Tag Team - Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( Dr. Cube With Minons )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )
( TBA )Father Don Leo Jonathan...And Saint Barfin's
Church Proudly Presents...
The LXG's Next Card!!!...:▪
(6 - 0) LXG LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WITH 6 VICTORIES AND COUNTING - Antonino Rocca vs Freddie Blassie
▪
(2 - 1) Overtime vs Helsin (1 - 0) - No Dq No Count Out Feud Rematch▪
(3 - 1) The Road Warriors - Hawk & Animal With Paul Ellering vs (0 - 1) The Killer Bees - B. Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell With A Corner Man TBA - No Dq No Count Out Feud Rematch▪
(1 - 1) The Original Sheik With Abdullah Farouk vs (1 - 0) Dick Hutton Also With A Corner Man TBA - No Dq No Count Out Feud Rematch▪ (1 - 0) New Money - Marcus Colby & Davey Boy Smith With Magnus Colby & Justin Case vs The Greek Gods - Actagon & Proteus
▪
(5 - 0) LXG LADIES CHAMPION WITH 5 VICTORIES AND COUNTING - Amanda The Relentless (aka Assassin A) vs MsChif
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(2 - 0) LXG SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WITH 2 VICTORIES AND COUNTING - One Man Gang vs Gustav (The Belt Parkway Zombie)
▪
(5 - 1) LXG HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WITH 4 VICTORIES AND COUNTING - Wolf vs Slave Beast With Vin Strutter
▪
Dark Match - Sassy Stephie vs Victoria Vega
▪
Dark Match - Zombie Princess Jimmy Jacobs vs Lio Rush
▪
Dark Match - Kurt Angle vs Super Crazy
Tonight's card was brought to you by...
Paramounted Pictures...Number One Film...In The Milky Way...Galaxy!...Ozempric...The Interstellar...Male Prostitute...With An Attitude!...
Staring...Pit Viper!...
Free Coffee, Sinkers, Red Bull, Ginger Ale, Bagels & Cheese Fries at All of Our Shows!!!
And...Valet Parking!!!
Don't Forget to Tip Your Server!!!...
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A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Epilogue:(We see Antonino Rocca standing outside of St. Barfin's Church...long after everybody has gone home...including the other wrestlers...Rocca always stays late...so he can help Fathers DLJ and Sarducci clean up...)
(A woman in a car pulls up...Rocca opens the front door...enters the car...and it slowly drives off...)
(Rocca's wife is excited...because she saw that not only was he was ok...he even had another envelope in his hand...he handed it to her...as she showered him...with affection...)
(She breathed a sigh of relief regarding her mother too...now she and Antonino can fully cover the costs of mom's operation...with some to spare!...)
The LXG Thanks You...For Being In The Seats!...