Post by on_the_edge on Jan 20, 2022 16:03:27 GMT -5
5/6/80 Pittsburgh, PA - card #14
The Thinker is walking in back, he turns a corner in the hallway and walks into Lazer.
Lazer: Well, lookie here, just the man I was looking for.
Looking nervous The Thinker holds up a hand.
The Thinker: Whoa now. Hold on. Don't put a hand on me. I'm a manager. I know what you want. A match with my man. Well, no use put it off. It was inevitable. You got it. Tonight, in the main event. See you there.
Gorilla Typhoon: Welcome to The Show. I have more big news for you all. Last week we crowned the first World Tag Team Champions. Next week we start on the road to crowning the first USA Champion. We will be in Charlotte, NC and have the first semifinal match. It will be between Arizona Chance and Dark Invader. The following week we are in Cleveland, OH. There the second semifinal match will occur between Mighty Leo and Pelvis Pressly. After that we go on to Detroit, MI where we will have the finals and crown the USA Champion. Next few weeks should be really exciting. Just like tonight will be.
Danger Zone vs Jobber Joe.
A match between two men making their RCW debuts. Jobber Joe came down looking like a plumber that got lost. He was packing a toolbox and a plunger. Danger Zone was wearing a jet fighter jumpsuit and sporting mirrored aviator glasses that he took off and put on a young boy sitting ringside.
The match was a short one. After a minute or so of a feeling out process Danger Zone started to work his game plan. He put Joe in the corner, went to the opposite corner and performed his finisher, Need For Speed. That was all she wrote.
Winner: Danger Zone by pinfall. (*)
--- commercials ---
A promo video in a dark room. We see muscular arms of a black man. Then the camera pans up and shows his face. He has a very intense look on his face. He has a mohawk haircut and a well-trimmed mustache on his upper lip that resembles the one on TV star Tom Selleck.
T.A. Templeton: My name is T.A. Templeton and I am coming to RCW. No one better hit me in the face though. I'm pretty fool.
The Thrashers vs Stallions Gone Wild.
The Stallions got a nice cheer from the fans. That might have given them confidence as they did much better in this match than their debut. After a slow start they started putting on a good showing. They worked over Dizzy Lixx. First, they rocked him with a double team move, Rufus Driver (Meltzer Driver) then they followed up with their tag finisher, Dual Air Guitar (they stand their opponent in their corner back to turnbuckle, one man in front and one on the turnbuckle, they perform some air guitar then hit a superkick/flying axe handle combo) but Dizzy kicked out. Later Will hit a Solo Air Guitar (air guitar then superkick).
Dizzy looked to be in major trouble but finally tagged out. Cesar Sleaze took the fight to Will. After some offense he tagged Dizzy and they performed Bang Your Head. Dizzy kept the pressure on. He hit Heavy Metal but only got a two count. It was Will's turn to be in trouble only to make the hot tag. The next seven or eight minutes saw momentum flow from one team to the other. Cesar Sleaze hit Twisted Mister on Fred and made the pin.
Winner: The Thrashers by pinfall. (****)
--- commercials including the new summer menu at Burger Chef ---
Mean Jeans interviewed the new World Tag Team Champions. Ace Arcadium did most of the talking and mostly said they would be fighting champions. Star Boy said a few words in broken English then cut a promo in Spanish.
Lazer came down for the main event. Then RCW World Champion, Jet Set Struter, along with The Thinker and He-Beast the Barbarian made their way down to ringside.
The Thinker: Are you ready pretty boy? Ready to have that silly make-up wiped off your face? Good. Ok, get in there and destroy him you meathead.
At that He-Beast goes to enter the ring. Lazer is confused. He talks to the ref and gestures to He-Beast and Jet Set. The ref goes over and talks to The Thinker, nods his head and talks to Lazer.
The Thinker: I said you'd face my man. I never said Jet Set. I got He-Beast his wrestling license yesterday. So have fun Lazer.
Lazer vs He-Beast the Barbarian w/The Thinker and Jet Set Strutter.
Lazer got a quick start on the inexperienced brute. Once He-Beast was able to get his hands on the popular wrestler he could unleash his power on him. Lazer is no lightweight in the muscle department but was out matched in that aspect. Lazer ended up placing He-Beast in Lazerlock. It looked like he might tap but The Thinker yelled at him that he better not. He-Beast slowly dragged himself to the ropes for a break. The two men slugged it out for several minutes. Then He-Beast found himself in the Lazerlock again. This time he couldn't hold out and he tapped.
Winner: Lazer via submission. (**)
The Thinker and Jet Set are throwing a fit at ringside. They are berating He-Beast who just takes it with his head lowered.
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 20, 2022 16:04:42 GMT -5
Special thanks to Troy
for letting me know about the stats he came up for other 80's Mania guys. I used them for Jobber Joe and He-Beast. I plan on using a few others down the road. So, thanks again.
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 20, 2022 16:54:22 GMT -5
5/13/80 Charlotte, NC - card #15
The show starts with a look at Lazer beating Arizona Chance to earn a World title shot and last week beating He-Beast the Barbarian. Then we get a live shot of him entering Mr. Codger's office.
All-Night Rocking Express vs Blood and Gore w/The Gargoyle.
First couple minutes saw each team trying to gain control. Then Skullgore hit Jesse Wild with a Crescent Kick, rolled him up and the ref counted three.
Winner: Blood and Gore via pinfall. (* 1/2)
Jesse tried arguing that Skullgore had a handful of tights but to no avail.
--- commercials ---
A promo message with big block letters colored red, white and blue with stars in them that reads "The All Americans" then white letters "Coming Soon" all while a generic college fight song plays.
The Piranha vs Red Pirate Rogers.
This was quite a battle. Red Pirate looked to be on his way to a victory but The Pirahna survived three Swashbucklers. The Pirahna then started fighting back. He used an Outlaw Choke, out of view of the ref, and got Rogers to tap.
Winner: The Piranha by pinfall. (***)
After the bell The Pirahna went back to choking Rogers. The ref told him to stop but was ignored. Then the crowd popped as Pierre the Enormous made his way out and down toward the ring. He chased The Pirahna off before checking on his friend.
Gorilla Typhoon: Pierre has not been seen since Wrestle Bowl.
KC: I heard he stayed in California, visited a winery and drank them dry.
Gorilla Typhoon: Come on KC.
KC: No, I'm serious. By the time he was done every barrel was empty and there was not a single grape left on the vines. There are unconfirmed reports he then went on a rampage and attacked the Golden Gate Bridge.
Gorilla Typhoon: Give me a break.
--- commercials including a sale on lawnmowers at Sears ---
Another promo from T.A. Templeton. It shows clips of him working out mixed with ones of him admiring himself in the mirror along with brushing his mustache.
T.A. Templeton: I'm pretty, fool.
A look at the two matches for the USA Heavyweight Championship. The next match is the first semifinal between Arizona Chance and Dark Invader. Next week in the other semifinal it will be Mighty Leo vs Pelvis Pressly.
Arizona Chance vs Dark Invader in a USA Heavyweight Championship semifinal match.
Invader had Chance in trouble over the first few minutes. He just couldn't put the adventurer away. That allowed Arizona to fight back and make the pin after a Last Crusade.
Winner: Arizona Chance via pinfall to advance to the final. (** 1/2)
The door to Mr. Codger's office opens. Out walks Lazer as Mr. Codger stands in the doorway.
Mr. Codger: It's all set. You will get your title shot in next week's main event.
Lazer: Thank you sir. I promise it will be a great match.
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 22, 2022 17:30:53 GMT -5
5/20/80 Cleveland, OH - card #16
A look at tonight's show with the second semifinal match for the USA Championship, Mighty Leo vs Pelvis Pressly, and the main event where Jet Set Strutter will defend his World title against Lazer.
Rad Racer w/Mr. Bonsai vs Jobber Joe.
This time Joe came down dressed as a road worker. He wore a hard hat and bright yellow vest while holding a stop/drive sign. He never got out of the chute as Rad Racer dominated and won with a Tail Whip.
Winner: Rad Racer via pinfall. (*)
--- commercials ---
The jumbotron shows The All Americans. The crowd pops and cheer but then start booing as Tennis Pro comes out. He is wearing a Faber College varsity jacket. He enters the ring.
Tennis Pro: I have been getting screwed over lately. I am not the only one that has been dealing with that. Me and some of the others have decided to band together to fight against the injustices. First let me introduce Sugar Dunkerton.
A tall man with a fro and spinning a basketball comes out and joins Tennis Pro in the ring. He is wearing a varsity jacket from Adams College.
Tennis Pro: My man Sugar played hard in college and earned his All-American honors. He was all set to play in the Olympics and earn a gold medal. Then the US decides to boycott the Olympics ending his once chance for that great honor. He is mad as me. Finally, let me introduce Dasher Hatfield.
A strong man wearing a face mask that resembles a baseball and carrying a baseball bat comes down to join the other two. He is wearing a Texas State University varsity jacket.
Tennis Pro: Poor Dasher has been getting it stuck to him from a young age. He was stuck being born and growing up in the cesspool known as Texas. All they care about is football, thus he got pretty much ignored as a baseball player. Then to make things worse, after a stellar college career as his professional career was about to take off, he got accused of betting on games and was blackballed. So, he changed his name, donned a mask and worked on starting his career as a wrestler. Together the three of us are The All Americans and we will avenge the slights against us. We shall dominate the RCW.
Mighty Leo vs Pelvis Pressly in a USA Championship semifinal match.
Pelvis had the early advantage then Leo fought back. As Leo was rocking Pelvis when a short, pudgy man in a white suit and cowboy hat came down. Leo applied a claw onto Pelvis. When he let go, Pelvis complained about an eye poke. As the ref checked on him the plump man entered the ring and jumped on Leo's back.
It took a bit but Leo finally got the man off him. The man rolled to the floor as Leo looked at him. That allowed Pelvis to miraculously recover from his eye poke and attack Leo. The advantage did not last long. Leo was rolling again. Then the white suited man tosses his hat into the ring. It distracted the ref and Leo. Leo went over, stomped on the hat and kicked it out of the ring. The short man threw a fit. Meanwhile, Pelvis attacked Leo to regain the advantage. A minute or so later he tossed Leo into the ropes and Leo bounced off with a flying forearm that knocked Pelvis silly. He quickly followed up with a Thunderstrike and scored the victory.
Winner: Mighty Leo via pinfall to advance to the finals. (** 1/2)
KC: It's a shame Pelvis didn't get the win as he was clearly the better man but it sure was a fun match.
Gorilla Typhoon: I'm not sure about that. Leo looked like the better man to me. Either way he moves onto the finals and will face Arizona Chance next week in Detroit to crown the inaugural USA Champion.
--- commercials including for The Show in Detroit, MI where we will crown the first USA Champion ---
Mean Jeans: I hope everyone is enjoying the show as much as I am. As great as things are currently in the RCW there are bigger things on the horizon. A very big name in professional wrestling is in talks to sign with RCW. Who is this big name? The only way to find out right now is to call our hotline. So, call 1-999-THE-SHOW and find which big name could be seen in RCW and on The Show sometime soon. Kids get your parents' permission first.
Gorilla Typhoon: I wonder who this big name is?
KC: Whoever it is they can't be a bigger name than me. I'm a wrestling and movie star.
Gorilla Typhoon: Give me a break. Well, it's time for our main event. This should be an exciting match.
Jet Set Strutter w/The Thinker and He-Beast the Barbarian vs Lazer for the World Championship.
Jet Set started on fire. He was chopping Lazer when Lazer suddenly howled and flexed. Jet Set begged off then took a cheap shot. Jet Set with some more offense. Then Lazer used his strength advantage to fight back. He had Jet Set is some serious trouble. The Thinker yelled at He-Beast to do something.
He-Beast the Barbarian slid in the ring. He started to attack Lazer. The ref was close to calling for the bell, which The Thinker was encouraging him to do, but then realized it would cost Jet Set the match but Lazer the title. Soon Lazer fought back and disposed He-Beast to the floor. The Thinker was losing his mind as he yelled at and kicked He-Beast.
Lazer was all over the World Champion. Fans were going wild as they could smell a title change in the air. Lazer kept pounding on the champ. Then the fan favorite went to the high rent district as he climbed to the top rope. The Thinker hopped on the apron and started complaining. As the ref was focused on getting him to drop back to the floor, He-Beast got up on the other side and pushed Lazer off the turnbuckle. As Lazer laid on the mat Jet Set recovered and went to work. Before long he had the challenger in his Six-Figure Leg Lock finisher. Lazer tried to escape but ended up tapping.
Winner: Jet Set Strutter via submission to retain the title. (****)
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 23, 2022 16:25:53 GMT -5
5/27/80 Detroit, MI - card #17
I Will Survive plays as the opening video plays. Then we are live and see boxer Thomas "Hitman" Hearns sitting ringside.
Gorilla Typhoon: Welcome to the Motor City and The Show. The "Hitman" is ready for the excitement, and I hope you are too. In the main event we crown the first USA Champion. Mean Jeans will speak with the World Champion, Jet Set Strutter. Plus, at the end of the show we will have news about the next super card that will be available on closed-circuit TV. So, stay until the end.
KC: Hearns isn't so tough looking.
Gorilla Typhoon: Why don't you go tell him that. He is 28-0. In August he will be fighting Jose Cuevas for the WBA Welterweight championship and is considered by many to be the current pound for pound best fighter in the world.
KC: Um...maybe later. I don't want to miss the opening match.
All-Night Rocking Express vs The Thrashers.
As per usual for these two teams the action was hot and heavy. There were frequent tags and double team moves. The crowd was loving it. Both teams had times where they came close to getting the W. I. The end, Cesar Sleaze hit Chet Skye with Twisted Mister and secured the pin.
Winner: The Thrashers by pinfall. (*** 1/2)
We see clips from last week where a mysterious man got involved in Pelvis Pressly's match. He is identified as Big Boss Jr. He is Pressly's new manager.
--- commercials ---
Mean Jeans is in the ring with Jet Set Strutter, The Thinker and He-Beast the Barbarian. Jeans asks him about his title defense last week. Jet Set goes on a rant about how it wasn't fair that a top talent like him had to face a mindless brute like Lazer. The fans are booing. He goes on and on about his greatness and soon the fans seem bored. Many of them are getting up and going to get a snack or hit the restroom. Mean Jean wraps things up and sends things to Gorilla.
Gorilla Typhoon: Well, that was something. Anyways, next week we will be in the Windy City, Chicago IL. Come out and watch The Show in person.
Danger Zone vs Cobalt Commander.
Danger Zone showed his lack of experience in this match. Cobalt overpowered him throughout the match and Zone couldn't come up with a good counter. A Commander Slammer finished the rookie off.
Winner: Colbalt Commander via pinfall. (**)
--- commercials including for the RCW Hotline, 1-999-THE-SHOW ---
Gorilla Typhoon: It is almost time for the main event and learning who our USA Champion is. Then next week we will see The All Americans in action.
Arizona Chance vs Might Leo in the USA Championship final.
Chance had the early advantage, but Leo quickly took control. He then dominated the match and devastated the adventurer. It was impressive that Chance was still on his feet at the end of the match with all the damage he took. Leo hit another Thunderstrike and pinned Chance. Leo has become the first USA Champion.
Winner: Mighty Leo via pinfall to win the title. (*)
Mighty Leo celebrates in the ring with his title belt. Arizona Chance comes over and congratulates him on his win.
Mean Jeans: Before we end the show here is the news that was promised. Our next super card will be Sunday, July 6th. It will be in Clearwater, FL and is named Summer Blast at the Beach. It will be the event of the summer. Plan to be there if you can. If not, you will be able to watch via closed-circuit TV. More info will be coming in the weeks to come. Have a good night and see you next week.
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 24, 2022 18:00:54 GMT -5
6/3/80 Chicago, IL - card #18
Gorilla Typhoon: Welcome to the Windy City. We have some great action for you tonight.
KC: They say Chicago wasn't a Windy City till you arrived.
The Pirahna vs Red Pirate Rogers w/Pierre the Enormous.
Rogers was looking to avenge a loss to The Pirahna from a few weeks back. That match saw Pirahna use some underhanded tactics. With Pierre in Rogers corner there would be no repeat of cheating. Rogers won with a Swashbuckler.
Winner: Red Pirate Rogers via pinfall. (* 1/2)
--- commercials including a Father's Day sale on tools at Sears ---
The Thrashers come out to the ring.
Cesar Sleaze: We never got a fair shot to become Tag Team Championship because of those cheaters All-Night Rockers. Well, we beat them and now we want a title shot. We've been trying to get ahold of Ace but he's been dodging us. Well, we ain't gonna take it...anymore. Ace, Star Brat, get your butts out here. We want our title shot.
After a short wait the Tag Champs, Ace Arcadium and Star Boy come out to the stage.
Cesar Sleaze: So, what do you say?
Ace Arcadium: You got it.
Star Boy: Sí.
Cesar Sleaze: Good. Let's do the damn thing.
The champs start making their way to the ring when Commissioner Mr. Codger comes on the Jumbotron.
Mr. Codger: Hold it. Hold it. I like that you are fighting champions and I know this will be a great match but we cannot do it tonight. We have the schedule full. But I will make this match the main event for next week when we are in Tampa.
Gorilla Typhoon: While the fans here are disappointed, they won't see that match the fans in Tampa will love it. Next week we return to Tampa. Along with the hot action of The Show we will have some news about Summer Blast at the Beach.
The All Americans vs Stallions Gone Wild.
A good match that saw hot tag action. The All Americans were in control early then the Stallions fought back. They hit Dual Air Guitar on Sugar Dunkerton. As Will went for the cover Dasher Hatfield tried to break the pin count but Fred cut him off. Three counts later the Stallions had their first win in RCW.
Winners: Stallions Gone Wild by pinfall. (**)
--- commercials including ticket info for The Show in Tampa, FL next week and Huntsville, AL the following week ---
A promo from Danger Zone. He says while he lost recently, he is going to keep working hard to get better and won't stop till he ends up being the World Champion.
Dark Invader vs Bug Buster.
Buster's losing streak continues. Invader never gave him a chance. He tossed Buster out of the ring and Buster could not make it in before the ten count.
Winner: Dark Invader via countout. (*)
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 27, 2022 16:47:05 GMT -5
6/10/80 Tampa, FL - card #19
Gorilla Typhoon: Welcome to Tampa. It's great to be back here in front of this amazing crowd. In our main event, the tag team champs Ace Arcadium & Star Boy will defend against The Thrashers. Also, later tonight we will see part of the press conference from earlier today on Clearwater Beach for Summer Blast at the Beach. It's time for our opening match.
Jobber Joe, now dressed as a mailman and pulling a mailcart, came down to the ring. Then we hear screeching tires. A black van with a green stripe on the side drove in from back and parked next to the entrance ramp.
KC: What in Hades is going on?
The driver gets out and it's T.A. Templeton. He marches to the ring.
T.A. Templeton vs Jobber Joe.
Joe caught T.A. off guard from the start. But it didn't take long for T.A. to get his footing. He lifted Joe up for a suplex and held Joe up while the fans counted ten as that is T.A.'s 10 Count Suplex. A bit later he hit his finisher, No Pity (vicious belly to belly suplex), and got the W in his first RCW match.
Winner: T.A. Templeton by pinfall. (*)
--- commercials including for K-Mart and their line of RCW t-shirts ---
A look at the earlier press conference on Clearwater Beach. There is a stage set up on the beach. Sunday, July 6th will see Summer Blast at the Beach super card. We see Rad Racer and Pierre the Enormous make appearances. Then RCW World Champion Jet Set Strutter comes out with his manager The Thinker and He-Beast the Barbarian. As Jet Set is talking about his greatness Lazer made his way out.
Lazer: Jet Set, that title should be mine. I had you beat but then those two got involved and cost me my title. So, I want one more shot at you. At Summer Blast but this time to keep your minions from getting involved I want it in a cage match.
Before anyone knew it, Jet Set accepted. The Thinker was going nuts as he didn't want his man to take the match.
Arizona Chance vs Tennis Pro w/Valley Girl and Ball Boy.
Chance overpowered Tennis Pro throughout the match. Tennis Pro got on runs but they did not last long. At one point Tennis Pro looked toward Valley Girl for help. She, however, was busy flirting with a good-looking man in the front row. While she didn't help Pro directly, the fire she lit in him helped him. It just wasn't enough and Chance won with Last Crusade.
Winner: Arizona Chance via pinfall. (**)
As Arizona Chance is having his arm raised in victory The All Americans run in and jump him. As they are pounding on him Tennis Pro joins in. All three members of The All Americans leave Chance laid out and they stand tall over him. Security ushers them out as the medical staff checks on Chance.
Gorilla Typhoon: It's been a blast here in Tampa and Clearwater. Next week we take The Show to Huntsville, AL. But we will be back in Florida next month for two weeks of The Show and the super card which will be available on Closed-Circuit TV.
--- commercials including for tickets for The Show in Huntsville, AL ---
While The Thinker was upset over Jet Set accepting Lazer's challenge, it wasn't as upset as he got a bit later. A fan in the crowd had a sign that resembled The Thinker's t-shirt. Only instead of The Thinker sitting on a rock he was sitting on a toilet. Above that it read "The Stinker" and below it "No one can out stink me". When The Thinker saw that he went ballistic and tried to get the sign, but security stopped him.
Ace Arcadium & Star Boy vs The Thrashers for the World Tag Team Championship.
Star Boy started hot with his high-flying style. Then The Thrashers fought back with some questionable tactics and frequent tags. Star Boy survived two Twisted Misters, one with help from Ace, but then Dizzy Lixx finished him off with a Heavy Metal. A three count and we had new tag team champions.
Winner: The Thrashers by pinfall to win the titles. (**)
Ace shakes his head and checks on Star Boy as The Thrashers go wild celebrating their win and hold the belts up high while most fans boo.
Post by on_the_edge on Jan 30, 2022 19:41:56 GMT -5
6/17/80 Huntsville, AL - card #20
Gorilla Typhoon: Welcome to The Show. Last week Lazer challenged Jet Set Strutter to a cage match for the World title at Summer Blast at the Beach. Jet Set accepted. Well, it's been made official by Mr. Codger. We have our main event set for Summer Blast.
KC: Heck, Lazer may not even make it to Summer Blast. He's in the main event tonight. He's taking on Pelvis Pressly and Big Boss Jr. will have his man ready. Lazer is in for a heck of a lot of trouble.
Hammerhead vs Danger Zone.
The big bad Russian had not been seen since losing at Wrestle Bowl. His power had him dominating Danger early on. A Russian Sickle almost scored him the W in the first couple minutes. Danger kicked out at the last possible moment.
Things changed when Hammerhead tossed Danger into the ropes and ducked down for an attempt at a backbody drop. Danger grabbed the ropes to stop his momentum. When Hammerhead stood up Danger caught him with a flying head scissors. Then Danger went on the attack. He hit Need For Speed a couple times but could not get the pin. That was unfortunate for Danger as the Russian soon fought back himself. A Soviet Sledge led to victory.
Winner: Hammerhead via pinfall. (***)
--- commercials including for The Show's return to Atlanta, GA ---
A look at last week's match between Arizona Chance and Tennis Pro. Then The All Americans attacking Chance after the match. Chance is injured and will be out awhile. Mr. Codger has suspended The All Americans for a couple weeks. Tennis Pro was quoted as saying, "you cannot be serious".
Blood and Gore w/The Gargoyle vs Stallions Gone Wild.
After some early back and forth the Stallions started to roll against Skullgore. The Gargoyle signaled to Keith Blood. Keith went to get in the ring but was stopped by the ref. While that happened, The Gargoyle slipped Skullgore a potion of some sort. He drank it and started coughing and having a fit. The Stallions took advantage of this and hit Dual Air Guitar. Fred covered Skullgore for the three.
Winner: Stallions Gone Wild by pinfall. (**)
--- commercials including for Summer Blast at the Beach ---
Blood and Gore along with The Gargoyle walking down the hallway. The Gargoyle and Skullgore turn and enter the locker room. Keith Blood however keeps on walking down the hallway.
Lazer vs Pelvis Pressly w/Big Boss Jr.
Boss got in Lazer's face at the start of the match allowing his man to make a sneak attack. It didn't last long as Lazer overpowered him. It wasn't long before Lazer had Pelvis locked in his Lazerlock finisher. Boss tried to get the ref's attention but it didn't work. Pelvis tapped out.
Winner: Lazer via submission. (*)
Post by Bri on Feb 1, 2022 11:01:39 GMT -5
Just got caught up on all things 80's on_the_edge
All sorts of gnarlyness going on.
Got the theme song to Miami Vice in my head as I'm typing this.
Outstanding match between Strutter & Lazer on Strutter's first title defense.
The Summer show should be something else.
All that on the horizon and Faber College is mentioned...what else could you want?