H.B.W.A Presents: LATE NIGHT WRESTLING
Television studio broadcast
Hosted by 'Precious' Paul Torissi & Pete 'The Duke Of Dorchester' Doherty
The show begins by showing footage of HBWA Heavyweight Champion
John Tolos defeating
Harley Race by
DQ at a recent show at Maple Leaf Gardens. Tolos retains his title as a result of interference by his own manager...
'The Mouth Of The South' Jimmy Hart attempted to blast Race with his megaphone, but Race reacted quickly and pulled Hart over the top rope and into the ring. The referee called for the bell leaving Race no choice but to respond by clocking Tolos with the megaphone, laying him out cold...
Back in the studio, Tolos and Hart are on the mic:
Hart:
"Handsome Harley, you put your hands on me, a 150 lbs manager because you couldn't handle John Tolos! You got yourself disqualified because we had you beaten every which way. There's no rematch for you either after what you've done!"
Tolos:
"Get to the back of the queue, Race. I've beaten you twice and if I decided to fight you once more, I'd beat you a third time....but I'm not gonna. I'm done with you..."1. In the first match of the evening, HBWA's resident poet,
'Leaping' Lanny Poffo battled
George South in a surprisingly back and forth encounter. Poffo struggled to keep South down and delivered a total of three Sky Drops in order to pick up the victory.
Winner:
'Leaping' Lanny Poffo
2. Next up, Television Champion
Fit Finlay made incredibly short work of plucky underdog
Jake 'The Milkman' Milliman, destroying him with some bruising offence, including a tombsone piledriver for the win. After the match, Finlay grabs his belt and confidently holds it above his head. The commentators muse as to whether
'Exotic' Adrian Street is watching at home and waiting to reclaim the Television Title from the
'Belfast Bruiser?'Winner:
Fit FinlayA backstage interview is up next with
Jim Cornette joined by his Tag Team Champions,
'Beautiful' Bobby Eaton and
'Loverboy'
Dennis Condrey. Cornette delivered some strong words for former Express member
'Sweet' Stan Lane and issued a challenge for next week...
Cornette:
"Stan Lane- I always said you were the weak link, I always knew you would let as down and you did. You let us down over and over again. If you didn't have me in your corner, you'd be nothing. I dragged you from the depths to the edge of super stardom and how do you repay the Midnight Express? You walk out, you jump ship, like a drowning rat, you put yourself first and swam away to the comfort of your own dingy, cockroach-infested pit you call a home. Well, we don't need you! Y'see. 'Beautiful Bobby' and 'Loverboy Dennis' have always been the true Midnight Express and are the HBWA Tag Team Champions! But if you're listening out there, watching on your tiny 12" black n white television, in your underpants, crying your little eyes out, I've got a proposition for you. I'm gonna give you the opportunity of a lifetime. If you can find yourself a tag team partner, which I know is virtually impossible because you have absolutely no friends, but if you can- come and meet us in the ring next week and we'll happily put our Tag Team Titles on the line. And just remember this- I've taught you everything you know, but not everything I know!"3. In the next match, the mysterious
Masked Playboy totally outclassed his rookie opponent,
Sonny Kiss, delivering a pair over familiar looking knee drops for the victory. After the match, the
'Playboy' exited the ring and disappeared through the crowd, seemingly in a hurry to to leave the studio.
Winner:
Masked Playboy
4.
'The Villian' Marty Scurll w/
Nigel McGuinness made his entrance for the next match, among a chorus of boos from the hostile crowd at ringside. His opponent for the evening,
Sam Houston, by contrast was well received as he jauntily ran down the ramp and slid in the ring before removing his hat and chaps. Houston started strongly, backing Scurll into the corner with a series of jabs. Scurll cut a frustrated figure as the leggy Houston continually kept him at bay before Scurll's
'Business Associate' Nigel McGuinness seemingly tripped the young Texan as he bounced off the ropes to deliver a clothesline. Scurll pounced and took control, delivering a low blow and a short power bomb before trapping Houston in the cross face chicken wing for the victory. Scurll is looking dangerous, especially with McGuinness in tow..
Winner:
'The Villain' Marty Scurll
5. In a battle of very contracting styles, the thuggish
Vachons took on the Sunset Strip casualties,
The Wyld Studz. The Studz (
Marty Jannetty &
Randy Rose) used their speed and doubling teaming to gain the upper hand early on- Jannetty in particular looking impressive with a series of dropkicks.
Mad Dog Vachon appeared to be struggling, but managed to tag in the physically imposing
Butcher Vachon who proceeded to toss his smaller opponent around like a rag doll. Butcher hit the Hangman, but Rose made the save. The Studz regained control with a beautiful double clothesline that knocked Butcher to the canvas. a Human Stud Drop and a Rose Bomb later and it was all over. A huge victory for the Wyld Studz, who have been on a losing streak as of late.
Winners:
The Wyld Studz
Before tonight's Main Event, footage is shown backstage of a number of wrestlers watching the State lottery results on TV with anticipation.
Koko B. Ware looks hopeful at first, but quickly screws his ticket up and balls it into his tights,
S.D Jones remembers that he never bought a ticket in the first place and
Brutus Beefcake seems really confused by the concept of numbers. However, there's one guy who, upon the completion of the lottery draw appears to read, and the re-read his ticket;
"two, twelve, sixteen, thirty-two, thirty-eight, forty-one...well I'll be, I've only gone done and won me some money, fellas!" Has
Hillbilly Jim come into some money......?
6. In the closing match of the broadcast, former HBWA Champion,
Rob Van Dam took on disgraced former
Bubble Butt, Buff Bagwell. Why is Bagwell disgraced? well, we're not sure, but the fans sure don't care for him as chants of
'YOU SUCK!,' 'WE HATE YOU, BAGWELL!,' and 'DIE, BUFFY, DIE!' ring out through the studio. It's enough to make you feel sorry for Bagwell, but then you remember who he is, and what an awful tag team The Bubble Butts were and you feel tempted to join in with the berating. Anyway, this match is fairly one-sided as RVD goes through his whole arsenal of acrobatic and martial arts inspired moves whilst Bagwell clunks around the ring like a jacked-up zombie. These two don't gel well at all and it's a relief when RVD hits a split-legged moonsault followed by a five-star frog splash for the victory. RVD didn't let up and really looked impressive, as he aims to get back in the title picture.
Winner:
Rob Van DamJoin us next week for LATE NIGHT WRESTLING!
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