Mr. Horrorshow presents the World of CHIKARA Pro!

[Horrorshow]

SHOW: Stuck To Your Pants
DATE: February 14, 2003
VENUE: The Staircase
LOCATION: Pittston, PA

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1. ”Lightning“ Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw defeated Los Ice Creams by disqualification when El Hijo del Ice Cream was DQ’d! *

2. Incoherence & The Osirian Portal defeated UltraMantis Black, Crossbones & F.I.S.T. when Delirious pinned Chuck Taylor following a Bizarro Driver!

3. Swiss Money Holding & Daizee Haze defeated The Throwbacks and Sara Del Rey when Dasher Hatfield was counted out! **

4. The Colony defeated ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion ”Sweet & Sour“ Larry Sweeney & “King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston when Fire Ant pinned Kingston following a Sunset Flip! ***

* YOUNG LIONS CUP CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH *

5. Young Lions Cup Champion El Generico defeated Tim Donst when Generico pinned Donst following a Cradle DDT!

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* - With his nerves shot from the last show when Soldier Ant hinted that he intended to eat El Hijo del Ice Cream, the “Frozen Menace of Mexicali” was not his usual playfully malevolent self in this tag team encounter. Things took a turn for the worse when El Hijo, while hiding from the tecnicos, located Soldier Ant’s giant wooden spoon underneath the ring! In a fit of rage, El Hijo went berserk and started whacking Quackenbush, Jigsaw and even his tag partner Ice Cream, Jr. with said eating tool!

The referee called for the bell to disqualify Los Ice Creams while everyone involved in the match desperately scrambled back to the locker room in search of safety! El Hijo was left sitting alone in the ring, madly rocking back and forth on the canvas as he clutched the infernal object that had caused him so much distress!

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** - An unusually stiff match for CHIKARA ended when Ares KO’d Dasher Hatfield with his Toblerone Driver on the apron and the “Old Timey King of Swing” couldn’t respond to the referee’s twenty count as he struggled to get back into the ring from the floor.

Before the bout began, an odd occurrence happened. After all six competitors were in position to start the match and the referee was about to call for the bell, an elaborately decorated package arrived at ringside. Wrapped beautifully, the colorful box appeared to be some sort of St. Valentine’s Day gift! Daizee Haze, expecting the present to be for her, snatched the lovingly prepared parcel but was very disappointed to find that the tag on box didn’t feature her name but instead that of Sara Del Rey!

Completely flabbergasted, Sara took the package and opened it while Daizee sulked back to the rudo corner none too pleased that she hadn’t received a romantic gift! Contained within the box were a collection of DVD’s featuring some of the great movie musicals of all time; West Side Story, Guys and Dolls, The Sound of Music and several others. Absolutely baffled by the gifts and confused as to just who might have sent such things, an embarrassed Sara left the DVD’s with CHIKARA Ring Announcer Carolina Jim for safe keeping and re-focused on the trios match.

Throughout the contest, Castagnoli went to great lengths avoiding contact with the co-holder of Los Campeonatos de Parejas, Sara Del Rey and the two rivals spent little time in the squared circle together.

After the bout, as she and Sugar Dunkerton attended to Dasher Hatfield and the rudo trio gloated in triumph from the ring, Sara grabbed a mic and called Ares a “Euro trash thug” before accusing Castagnoli of being “nothing more than a bully and a coward”! Sara demanded a one-on-one match with Castagnoli on the next show.

Furious at her insults, Double C told Sara that sure, she could have her one-on-one match in two weeks time, back here in Pittston at The Staircase…but it was beneath a man of Claudio’s stature and renown to face a mere female in the ring! Sara could face Ares, the “Permanently Profit Producing Person” instead!

Sara accepted the match with Ares, telling Castagnoli that he couldn’t hide behind his “pet goon” forever and once she’d crushed Ares, Castagnoli would be next in the cross hairs of the “Death Rey”!

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*** - Frustrated with Sweeney for not getting there in time to disturb Fire Ant’s winning cover, and perhaps because he remains winless in 2003, Kingston argued briefly with the ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion after the match before Daizee Haze appeared and calmed the waters within Sweet & Sour International. Sweeney assured the “King of Diamonds” that he’d record his first win of the season at the next show as he’d arranged a match for Eddie with that “crumb bum loser” Hallowicked of Incoherence! The mere mention of Wicked’s name was enough to put an uncomfortable look on Daizee’s face…

[cruefan68]

A solid show in Pittston, Horrorshow. The antics of El Hijo del Ice Cream with the wooden spoon are so funny. Brilliant stuff which I could see happening in CHIKARA. Sara Del Ray is very frustrated and I can't blame her. It looks like she will have to go through Ares to get to Claudio. A great win for The Colony over Sweeney & Kingston and it was cool to see El Generico retain the YLC against Tim Donst. I wonder how Ultramantis Black feels about Donst losing that big opportunity?

[Horrorshow]

Thanks for the feedback, cruefan68! On now to the next show!

SHOW: Hook a Leg, Man!
DATE: February 28, 2003
VENUE: The Staircase
LOCATION: Pittston, PA

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1. UltraMantis Black defeated Soldier Ant when Mantis pinned Soldier Ant following a Praying Mantis Bomb! *

2. The Throwbacks defeated ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion ”Sweet & Sour“ Larry Sweeney & Daizee Haze when Sugar Dunkerton pinned Sweeney following a Grandslam Dunk! **

3. Sara Del Rey defeated Ares when Sara pinned Ares following a Royal Butterfly! ***

4. El Hijo del Ice Cream defeated Ophidian by disqualification when Ophidian knocked El Hijo out with Soldier Ant‘s giant wooden spoon! ****

5. Tim Donst & Crossbones defeated ”Lightning” Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw when Donst made Jigsaw submit to an Inverted Chikara Special! *****

6. ”King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston defeated Hallowicked when Kingston pinned Wicked following a Yakuza Kick!

* YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING *

7. F.I.S.T., Claudio Castagnoli & Ice Cream, Jr. defeated Young Lions Cup Champion El Generico, Delirious, Fire Ant & Amasis when Castagnoli pinned Amasis following a Ricola Bomb!

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* - Following his impressive win, Mantis was interviewed in the ring and asked how disappointed he was that Tim Donst was unable to beat El Generico for the Young Lions Cup two weeks ago. Mantis cackled loudly in contempt of the question and stated that he was neither surprised nor disappointed by “Young Timothy’s” loss.

Mantis proclaimed that Donst was a “very special specimen” who “possessed unlimited potential” and that he would “play a profound part” in The Order of the Neo Solar Temple dominating CHIKARA for years to come. But, Mantis admitted, Donst’s skills “required more seasoning” before his young disciple would be ready for Championship glory. The “Angry Insect Evildoer” magnanimously identified that it would take an “exceptional talent” to defeat and relieve the “Generic Luchador” of the Young Lions Cup.

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** - After a strong individual performance from Daizee throughout the match, a lustreless Larry Sweeney cost Sweet & Sour International the win after Daizee had put the rudos in position to seal a victory.

Sweeney’s tardy effort rubbed Daizee up the wrong way after she’d worked so hard to beat The Throwbacks, who were up against one combination or another of Sweet & Sour International for the third consecutive show. Sweeney thought nothing of the defeat, calling it “small potatoes!” while Daizee argued that a win would have given Sweet & Sour International great momentum going into King of Trios. Sweeney just told Daizee to “relax, baybee; Larry Sweeney has everything under control!” before collecting his ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television strap and strutting off back to the locker room, leaving the irritated Daizee trailing behind.

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*** - After seeing off the considerable challenge of Ares during a heated bout, Sara took the opportunity to call out Claudio Castagnoli, assuming that she’d now earned the match she wanted with Double C.

The man from The United Bank of Switzerland appeared and mocked Sara, saying that he’d promised her no such contest with himself! However, Castagnoli promised Sara that she could indeed have a match against him if she could again best Ares one-on-one on the CHIKARA show after King of Trios in four weeks time. In addition, Sara would have to agree to a special stipulation; if she loses to Ares, Sara would have to become Claudio’s personal valet and servant for a full month!

Outraged by Castagnoli’s proposition, Sara quickly weighed up her options and confident in her abilities to overcome Ares again and realizing that this might be her only chance to square off against Castagnoli, she accepted Claudio’s conditions!

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**** - Quality match. El Hijo has been unrecognizable during the last four weeks, exuding a disturbing abundance of aggression ever since Soldier Ant tried to devour the “Frozen Menace of Mexicali” with a giant wooden spoon!

After recovering the spoon two weeks ago, El Hijo hadn’t let it out of his grasp since and CHIKARA Senior Official Bryce Remsburg had a testing time trying to make the ice cream release the abnormally sized eating utensil!

Ophidian took matters into his own hands, drop kicking El Hijo and forcing him to release the spoon! Bryce called for the bell and what turned out to be a short but hard hitting contest quickly spiralled out of control!

The match ended with the “Venomous and Vile Serpent from the Nile” using the spoon to land a knock out blow to El Hijo and earning himself a disqualification, despite the fact that El Hijo had already gotten away with whacking Ophidian two or three times with the spoon during the bout! El Hijo had been able to get away with these spoon shots as Soldier Ant had appeared at ringside in an effort to recover his giant wooden spoon!

Distracted by the arrival of the “Militant Mat Mite“, El Hijo took the opportunity to assault his reptilian foe with the spoon but the super tough serpent soon turned the tables and nailed the ice cream with a spoon shot of his own! Unfortunately for the Egyptian, Bryce was in position to see the shot and called for the bell. With El Hijo all but unconscious, Soldier Ant was able to regain his giant wooden spoon and marched with it back to the locker room!

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***** - The Order of the Neo Solar Temple duo of Tim Donst and Crossbones upset “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw in an emotional tag team contest that saw tempers flair after the match.

Following up on the promise they made to Johnny Saint on the first show of the season, Quack and Jigsaw desperately tried to appeal to Donst and break the hold that The Order had established over him. The tecnico’s attempts only seemed to anger the young, brooding and gloomy grappler though. Donst eventually caught the Torneo Cibernetico winner in a ferocious looking Inverted CHIKARA Special which Jigsaw couldn’t resist!

Speaking out for the first time since joining The Order of the Neo Solar Temple, Donst took great pleasure after the match in informing Quack and Jigsaw that he didn’t need to be saved and that UltraMantis Black wasn’t manipulating or controlling him. Donst proudly stated that he was following his own path and was sick to the stomach of do-gooders like Quackenbush, Jigsaw and in particular that old doddering fool Johnny Saint.

Donst said that Saint might have been a legend back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth but in 2003 he was nothing more than a fossil and worst still, a leech who tired to suck the life force from Donst and live vicariously through him.

Donst went on to claim that Saint, Quackenbush and Jigsaw were only using him to empower themselves and that he wanted no part of their machinations. The Order had become Donst’s family and he was now exactly where he belonged!

Stunned by Donst’s diatribe and savagery during the match, Quack and Jigsaw were left wondering how they could possibly honor the promise they made to Johnny Saint about saving Donst from UltraMantis Black and The Order of the Neo Solar Temple...

[Crimson Cross]

I'm glad the Throwbacks defeated Sweeney & Haze after losing to SMH&H in that Six Person bout on the previous show. I really love the Giant Wooden Spoon story, that's what's great about your fed HS...

[cruefan68]

Great action at Hook a Leg, Man. I liked the continued evolution of Tim Donst and the interesting take that Ultramantis Black had on him. Claudio Castagnoli is really pushing it with Sara Del Ray and she may have made a mistake accepting that rematch with Ares. I agree with Crimson as I am loving the wooden spoon saga involving El Hijo del Ice Cream and now what is going to happen with Soldier Ant getting it back?

[Horrorshow]

Thanks for your comments Crimson Cross! and cruefan68.

I've got a little "stats blast" to present next which is coming soon before Bryce Remsburg previews the upcoming King of Trios tournament on a special episode of the CHIKARA Event Center!

Thanks to everyone who reads for following the action.

[Horrorshow]

Season 2 Best & Worst W/L Records

3-1 Claudio Castagnoli
3-1 Crossbones
3-1 Delirious
3-1 Icarus
3-1 Ice Cream, Jr.

1-3 Amasis
1-3 Sara Del Rey
1-3 Eddie Kingston
1-3 Ophidian
1-3 Larry Sweeney

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Castagnoli looking strong early after an underwhelming 2002...Crossbones has already matched his total number of wins throughout all of last season...Delirious is now 15-7 all time in CHIKARA...Icarus moves to 12 career victories in CHIKARA; the most by any rudo...Ice Cream, Jr. has been very solid in tag, trios and atomico action in notching up three wins...

[Horrorshow]

March 3, 2003: Episode 14

Welcome everybody to a special edition of the CHIKARA Event Center, a King of Trios preview no less with yours truly, CHIKARA Senior Official Bryce Remsburg!

Eight CHIKARA trios are all set to battle it out later this month in the first ever King of Trios tournament! Let’s take a sneaky peek at the first round matches:

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The Order of the Neo Solar Temple versus Jigsaw & Los Campeones de Parejas, El Generico and Sara Del Rey

The “Angry Insect Evildoer” UltraMantis Black leads his loyal and dedicated disciples “Young Timothy” Donst and the “Heavyweight Horror” Crossbones into warfare against the 2002 Torneo Cibernetico winner, Jigsaw and his partners, the CHIKARA Tag Team Champion combination of 2002 Wrestler of the Year and Young Lions Cup Champion El Generico and Sara Del Rey!

The Order are no doubt the most cohesive and unified trio assembled for this tournament but will that be enough to overcome a tecnico trio that has individually (and collectively in the case of Generico and Sara) combined for a lot of big time wins, awards and championships in recent months?

Adding fuel to the fire, Jigsaw has certainly had more than his fair share of problems with The Order of late and in particular with Tim Donst who submitted the “Wrestling Riddle” at “Hook a Leg, Man!” just three nights ago. This contest should be a real barn burner of a match up to open up the King of Trios tournament!

Bryce’s Pick to Win: Tecnicos

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Icarus & Swiss Money Holding versus Delirious & The Osirian Portal

The “Winged Ring Warrior” and former Young Lions Cup Champion, Icarus joins forces with the “Most Money Making Man” Claudio Castagnoli and the “Permanently Profit Producing Person” Ares to take on the tecnico unit of Delirious, the “Venomous and Vile Serpent from the Nile” Ophidian and the “Funky Pharaoh” Amasis!

Icarus and Castagnoli are tied for the CHIKARA lead in wins so far this season and the dangerous and intense Ares has made quite the impact since his debut in January, plaguing the likes of Sara Del Rey with his relentless assaults.

Delirious, who co-captured Tag Team of the Year honors in 2002 with Hallowicked in Incoherence and was runner up in the Wrestler of the Year voting is undoubtedly one of the top stars in CHIKARA while, despite a slow start to the new season, The Osirian Portal have certainly demonstrated that they are a duo not to be taken lightly.

Bryce’s Pick to Win: Tecnicos

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Sweet & Sour International versus Hallowicked & The Throwbacks

Since the ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion, “Sweet & Sour” Larry Sweeney shocked CHIKARA by introducing the “King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston as the newest member of Sweet & Sour International on our first show of the year, Sweeney, Kingston and Daizee Haze have not yet gelled as a group. That said, the three rudos all enjoyed very successful campaigns in 2002, winning tournaments, titles and rudo All Star honors galore. Will King of Trios be a coming out party for Sweet & Sour International or will the tournament prove that Sweeney’s organization is lacking a certain chemistry?

The rudos will face three highly motivated individuals who are certainly no strangers to them; the “Dark Minion of the Underworld” Hallowicked, the “Old Timey King of Swing” Dasher Hatfield and the “Boisterous Ball Hog” Sugar Dunkerton!

While Hallowicked clashed with Larry Sweeney many times during 2002 in a heated feud that climaxed in a special Tex-Arkana Rules Quatro Cyclone tag team match between Sweet & Sour International and Incoherence, The Throwbacks have been embroiled in a competitive rivalry more recently with Sweet & Sour International. For the last three straight CHIKARA shows, Dasher and Dunkerton have faced one combination or another of Sweeney’s group, picking up two important victories over the rudos during that stretch.

The “X Factor” in this match-up might well be the interaction between Hallowicked and Daizee Haze who I’m sure you’ll remember shared a bizarre, on/off, yes/no, love me/love me not romantic entanglement during 2002. One wonders; do the embers of that relationship still burn deep in the hearts of Wicked and/or Daizee? After Eddie Kingston nearly booted Hallowicked’s face off with a Yakuza Kick 72 hours ago in Pittston, the “Nightmare Warrior” may have more pressing matters to deal with than his peculiar love life!

Bryce’s Pick to Win: Rudos

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Chuck Taylor & Los Ice Creams versus “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush & The Colony

The “Kentucky Gentleman” and 2002 rudo All Star Chuck Taylor teams up with El Hijo del Ice Cream and his brother, Ice Cream, Jr. to square off against the first ever Young Lions Cup Champion, “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush and one of CHIKARA’s top tag teams, 2002 tecnico All Star “Hot Property” Fire Ant and the “Militant Mat Mite” Soldier Ant!

Taylor and Ice Cream, Jr. teamed together in an atomico three nights ago and on more than one occasion during the match showed surprisingly good team work and communication despite their radically different backgrounds and personalities! Ice Cream, Jr. has excelled this season in multi-person tag team matches and already has three wins to his name. “Sexy Chuckie T” made the 2002 rudo All Star team on the strength of him being the last rudo eliminated from Torneo Cibernatico and only being pinned once throughout all of last season!

Never the most stable of individuals, the emotional El Hijo del Ice Cream has gone more than just a little bonkers of late. Ever since Soldier Ant threatened to eat the “Frozen Menace of Mexicali” with a giant wooden spoon back on January 31, El Hijo has become increasingly paranoid and aggressive! With Soldier Ant back in possession of the eating utensil that torments El Hijo so, will the Mexican ice cream be in the right frame of mind to concentrate on victory at King of Trios or will he be more concerned about being devoured by a militaristic insect?!

Sporting a 5-1 record in CHIKARA as a tag team, The Colony have proven themselves to be a dominant duo in the squared circle and combined with the skill and finesse of the “Master of a Thousand Holds”, the tecnico threesome must surely be considered favorites to win this contest and advance to the Semi Finals of King of Trios.

Bryce’s Pick to Win: Tecnicos

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So there we have it CHIKARA fans; scorching hot trios combat on an epic scale, all coming to you live at the New Alhambra in the City of Brotherly Love in just eleven nights time! Speed on over to chikarapro.com right away and order your tickets for this colossal event of blockbusting proportions! This is sure to be a happening that you’ll want to tell your grand kids about. Come to CHIKARA King of Trios and see professional wrestling history made!

This is your host and pal, Bryce Remsburg signing off for another CHIKARA Event Center! Thank you for watching and I’ll see you in South Philly on the 14th where we will crown the first ever CHIKARA King of Trios!

[cruefan68]

Awesome preview for King of Trios, Horrorshow, and I liked Bryce giving his picks for the opening round. Some great teams involved here but I'm throwing my support behind Ultramantis Black and The Order. I'm looking for them to make a big impact in 2003 and winning KOT would be a great way to accomplish that. Looking forward to the tournament.

[Horrorshow]

Thanks for the kind words, cruefan68! Let's get King of Trios started!

SHOW: King of Trios - First Round
DATE: March 14, 2003
VENUE: New Alhambra
LOCATION: Philadelphia, PA

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1. Jigsaw & Los Campeones de Parejas El Generico & Sara Del Rey defeated The Order of the Neo Solar Temple when Jigsaw pinned Crossbones following a Sunset Flip!

2. Icarus & Swiss Money Holding defeated Delirious & The Osirian Portal when Icarus pinned Delirious following Ragnarok!

(Icarus & Swiss Money Holding will face Jigsaw & Los Campeones de Parejas, El Generico & Sara Del Rey in the King of Trios Semi Finals!)

3. Sweet & Sour International defeated Hallowicked & The Throwbacks when the “King of Diamonds” Eddie Kingston pinned Dasher Hatfield following a Half Nelson Suplex! *

4. Chuck Taylor & Los Ice Creams defeated ”Lightning“ Mike Quackenbush & The Colony when Taylor pinned Fire Ant following a Turnbuckle Powerbomb! **

(Chuck Taylor & Los Ice Creams will face Sweet & Sour International in the King of Trios Semi Finals!)

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* - Daizee Haze and in particular, Eddie Kingston dominated this match for Sweet & Sour International as the ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana Television Champion Larry Sweeney “called in the plays” from the safety of the apron and only entered the match when it suited him to do so.

The contest contained several awkward moments when Daizee and Hallowicked found themselves in the ring together as neither competitor seemed overly interested in grappling with or striking the other. Tags out were rapidly made in these situations, leaving everyone still a little perplexed by the nature of Daizee and Wicked’s feelings for one another.

Daizee’s reluctance to battle with the “Dark Minion of the Underworld” certainly didn’t apply to The Throwbacks who Daizee threw herself at like a raging banshee throughout the bout before setting up Dasher Hatfield for Eddie Kingston to put away for the three count!

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** - The referee lost all control of this match early as chaos reigned supreme throughout a bout that spilled all over the New Alhambra! Taking advantage of the confusion, the rudos seemed more at home than the tecnicos and Chuck Taylor was eventually able to isolate Fire Ant for the win.

A maniacal El Hijo del Ice Cream and a steadfast Soldier Ant spent the entire contest brawling with one another for possession of the notorious giant wooden spoon that has caused so much controversy in CHIKARA of late!

After Taylor had put Fire Ant away and the referee had awarded the decision to the rudo squad, the “Kentucky Gentleman” and Ice Cream, Jr. started to put the boots into the fallen “Hot Property” after Ice Cream, Jr. had incapacitated Quackenbush with a devastating Sprinkle Bomb!

Seeing his partner getting stomped, Soldier Ant disengaged from his battle with El Hijo and slid into the ring to stop Taylor and Ice Cream, Jr‘s two-on-one assault. This gave El Hijo the opening he needed to seize the giant wooden spoon which he then slid into the ring with and used to clobber the “Militant Mat Mite” ( or “El Stupido” as El Hijo prefers to call him) from behind!

Directing his brother up to sit on the top turnbuckle, the frenzied El Hijo screamed and gestured for Chuck Taylor to lift Soldier Ant up to Ice Cream, Jr. so that the “Dairy Deviant” could unleash a Super Sprinkle Bomb from the top rope to further punish Soldier Ant!

With the carnage of the three tecnicos laid out on the canvas and covered in delicious sprinkles, El Hijo del Ice Cream reigned supreme in the middle of the ring, screeching loudly and waving his giant wooden spoon in the air à la Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre!