Post by barnestormer on Apr 29, 2008 12:25:04 GMT -5
HEARTLAND ELITE RUSH TELEVISION TAPING
HEW Arena; Evandale, OH
Tuesday April 29, 2008
ANOUNCERS: Chris "The Brain" Kurtis & "Hooks"
HEW Arena; Evandale, OH
Tuesday April 29, 2008
ANOUNCERS: Chris "The Brain" Kurtis & "Hooks"
TINA AMBROSE: It's no reason for you to leave the group.
"BARNESTORMER": Who said anything about leaving the group? I'm talking about going back to singles competition.
TINA: For how long?
"BARNESTORMER": For two months, for a year, forever, I don't know. I think I need this. I'm getting too frustrated with the tag scene.
HUMAN TIME BOMB: And what about me? What am I supposed to do? I don't want to go solo. I like it in the tag division.
NIGEL McGUINNESS: You can always team up with me. After all, we were HWA Tag Team champs at one time.
TINA: Good, then that's settled. David can go solo, and you and Nigel will reunite the B Squad team. Now, onto new business. We need some new blood to counter Bobbi Jo Jablonski, and I think I've found the perfect girl. Come on in! (The camera pans around to the entrance, where Tai "Killer" Weed walks through the door.)
TAI WEED: Hi.
"BARNESTORMER": Hey, I'm all for it, as long as she can keep her clothes on.
TAI: What? Are you saying that I don't look good enough for you?
"BARNESTORMER": Well, now, I didn't say that. I'm just saying that I know how you like to pull your top down before you finish off your opponents.
TAI: Hey, I'm abiding with Commissioner Breeze's rule.
TINA: Forgive him, Tai. He's just trying to be funny.
TAI: Keep trying. Someday you'll get it right.
"BARNESTORMER": Ouch! That stung. I vote she joins the group.
NIGEL: I'm in.
HUMAN TIME BOMB: OK. Matt, you haven't said much. What do you say?
MATT STRYKER: Who am I to say no to Tina. She hasn't done me wrong, so she can only do good things for Tai.
TINA: Then welcome to the team, Tai. Now, let's get ready for the show. Tai, do yo want me at ringside for your match with MsChif?
TAI: It couldn't hurt. Let's get ready,
* CHRIS "THE BRAIN" KURTIS: Welcome, fans, to another edition of HEW Rush. I'm Chris "The Brain" alongside my broadcast partner, "Hooks". Fans, we've got a great main event for you on the program, the GP CODE will make their first tag team title challenge as they go up against the A SQUAD.
"HOOKS": chris, the GP Code has been on a roll since entering the HEW, and are currently undefeated in the tag team division, but I'm sure the A SQUAD's looking to put the first blemish on the GP CODE's record.
"THE BRAIN": Let's get you to ringside, where Gumbo Malone is standing by with the introductions for our opening contest.
[li]JON MOXLEY pinned "NEW HORROR" SAMMI CALLIHAN with the MOXICITY. (Referee: Skeeter Muldoon
- All during the match, every time Moxley went on the offensive, he continually got in Sammi's ear about his "being responsible for breaking up the Moxley Crue" in the HWA. Eventually, the berating Took its toll psychologically when Jon hit the MOXICITY for the victory. We gon't see the last of this situation.
* AMANDA "FIRE" WEBSTER: I'm backstage outside the dressing room of the A SQUAD, where I will get their thoughts about their HWA Tag Team title defense against the GP CODE in the main event. (BROCK GUFFMAN walks up to the dressing room with GANGER.) Brock Guffman, Ganger, this is the A SQUAD's time.
BROCK GUFFMAN: And I'm sure they don't want to speak to you. They're preparing for the biggest tag team title defense of their careers, even more huge than their victory last week over those crybabies, the "Barndoor" and the "Human Do-Nothing While Your Partner Gets the Beat-Down He Deserves".
AMANDA "FIRE": And what's your interest in this, Guffman?
GANGER: Hey, you don't need to worry about my manager's interest in the tag titles. If you want a real story, I'm it, baby. I've accepted Maven's challenge from last week for a re-match, and Maven, in this match, it's going to be "second verse, same as the first." You're not going to beat me, and the restraining order against the fans will remain in effect. So I hope you don't go crying too hard when your fans get escorted from the premises if they try and call me "Shrek."
BROCK GUFFMAN: Now, if you'll excuse us, Ms. Webster, we've got some business to discuss with the tag champs. (Brock knocks on the door and enters the dressing room with Ganger. The door slams hard in Amanda's face.)
AMANDA "FIRE": Of all the...let's get you back to the ring.
[/li][li]The HIPPIES defeated FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE by disqualification when "HIGH IQ" QUENTIN LEE was caught using the LOADED ELBOW PAD on JESSE HYDE. (Referee: Isis)
* "THE BRAIN": Coming up on Friday May 9, the HEW returns to Whiskey Dick's, and as always, this show is for fans 18 years of age and older. Tai "Killer" Weed will be scheduled to appear at the show.
"HOOKS": Hey, Chris, do you think she's going to "whip 'em out" at the show?
"THE BRAIN": Hard to say, "Hooks". COMMISSONER JAXON BREEZE has already stated that at any "adults-only" venues we play, he'll allow her to bare her bosoms in the ring if she wants to.
[/li][li]Thanks to a "quick decision" by the referee, GANGER (who made good on his threat to eject several of Maven's fans who called him "Shrek" as he came down to ringside) made MAVEN tap out to the GANGERBANGER, keeping his restraining order safe for another day. (Referee: "Mr. C")
- After the "quick submission victory", COMMISSIONER JAXON BREEZE comes out to the entrance ramp.
JAXON BREEZE: Hold it, hold it, hold it. Nobody move! Referee, take of your mask, right now! ("Mr. C" shakes his head "no") Security, get in there and remove that man's mask. (HEW Security rush in and grab "Mr. C". One of the Security personnel manages to untie the mask and pull it off. It is none other than Tucker Carson, who was supposed to have been fired.) Mr. Carson, I fired you. Security, escort him from my building and have him placed under arrest for trespassing. (HEW Security drag Tucker out of the ring and the building, kicking and screaming all the way.) Now, let me get another referee out here. This match will be re-started immediately! (Newly hired official Tom Peepers enters the ring and calls for the bell.)
[/li][li]GANGER pinned MAVEN in the re-started match with the SHREK KILLER, keeping his restraining order safe. (Referee: Tom Peepers)
* Backstage, a police cruiser pulls up as HEW Security drag Tucker Carson outside. The police slap the handcuffs on him and toss him in the back of the squad car, then drive off with their lights and sirens flashing.
* Highlights of the SPRING FLING cyber pay-per-view are shown.
* "HoOKS": Well, Chris, Tucker Carson's headed ofF to jail for trespassing, and I can honestly say that it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
"THE BRAIN": Coming up later in the proGram, folks,the "BLACK REDNECK" KLIFF HANGER challenges RORY FOX for the HEW Heavyweight title, this time in a Texas Death Match. This tIme, disqualifIcations won't save RoRy's title. Will we see a new champion this time, "Hooks"?
"HOOKS": I would think so, Chris. Without the disqualification, Rory's going to have to prove once and for all he can pin Kliff or make him submit, or we will see a new champion tonight. Right now, let's get you back to the ring for our next match-up.
[/li][li]MATT STRYKER defeated "WHO'S YOUR DADDY" STEVE BRADLEY by disqualification when Steve shoved the referee during a deathjump attempt. (Referee: Heather Owens-Gonzales)
* "HOOKS": Fans, if your 18 years or older, mark your calenders now for Friday May 9, when the HEW returns to Whiskey Dick's for a great line-up of wrestling action. Already scheduled to appear is the woman who's set to take on MsChif in our next match-up, Tai "Killer" Weed. And don't forget, fans, "adults-only" shows are the only venues in which you'll see referee Isis do her famous "referee dance." Chris, I wonder why that is. I mean, I've been to some of those shows at Whiskey Dicks when she did her dance, and I've seen nothing "racy" about it.
"THE BRAIN": Well, from what I've heard, and I must admit, I've never seen any of the Women's Erotic Wrestling pay-per-views, but she's been known to flash the fans from time to time. Commissioner Breeze doesn't want to take a chance of her accidentally doing the same on television or at one of our other family-friendly venues, just like Tai did a couple of weeks ago when she had her momentary lapse of reason.
"HOOKS": I guess you're right. Let's get back to the ring for our next match.
[/li][li]MsCHIF pinned TAI "KILLER" WEED with the DESECRATOR. (Referee: Isis)
* A video promo is shown promising the debut of a hard working man who rocks even harder, "ROCKIN'" DEAN ROLL. Coming to the HEW next Tuesday.
[/li][li]TEXAS DEATH MATCH FOR THE HEW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: "BLACK REDNECK" KLIFF HANGER splashed RORY FOX for the pinfall victory and captured the HEW Heavyweight title. (Referee: Skeeter Muldoon)
* A video montage of the A SQUAD is aired.
[/li][li]MAIN EVENT--HEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Before the introduction of the GP CODE, Brock Guffman and Ganger (who came down to ringside with the A SQUAD and BOBBI JO JABLONSKI) grabbed the mike from ring annnouncer GUMBO MALONE.
BROCK GUFFMAN: In case you're wondering what I'm doing out here with the tag team champions, it's because we've formed a new corporation. Guffman Incorporated has formed a merger with the A SQUAD. So now we have the future HEW Heavyweight champion, the man, the myth, the legend, GANGER. We have the HEW Tag Team champions, CHET "THE JET" and DEAN "THE DREAM" JABLONSKI, better known as the A SQUAD. We have the once and future HEW Ladies champion, the lovely BOBBI JO JABLONSKI. We have the "ASTONISHING" one, AARON WILLIAMS and his partner, "THE SOLUTION" to all of our problems, ALAN WASYLYCHYN. And next week, I will unveil two more members to join the corporation. Our stocks are going to go through the roof!
The A SQUAD defeated the GP CODE to hang onto the HEW tag straps when DEAN JABLONSKI pinned "SWEET SEXY SENSATION" ANDRE HEART with SWEET NIGHTMARES. (Referee: Joe Kopasz)
[/li][/ul]
The next RUSH Television taping will be on Tuesday May 6. Who are the two new members of Guffman Incorporated? Join us again next week and find out.