June 14, 2014
MARKLAND FARM
Townsend, DE
CZW owner DJ Hyde came to the ring to open the show and the fans let him have it as usual.
“A lot of you might be thinking, why are we calling this Tournament of Death 13 when ToD 12 never happened? Well, it did happen. And, of course, I won.”
The fans booed the obvious lie and one voice heard above the rest said it all: “Bulls**t, DJ!”
“It happened in Japan,” was DJ’s only defense but no one was buying it.
Hyde announced that there was a very special guest this year who would be appearing later. He also said that he was allowing Matt Tremont to enter the tournament and that his first round opponent would be MASADA. He said that Tremont was going to be killed in a match of MASADA’s invention: a Gusset Plate Match.
Hyde then had the first participants come out: First time ToD entrant Jake Crist and his opponent, CZW World Champion and veteran of many ToD’s, Drake Younger. Hyde explained that this year’s winner would become CZW World Champion. Drake looked perturbed; obviously this was the first he was hearing of it. Hyde looked to Crist and said, “This is your chance, kid. Tear him up.”
1ST ROUND
Staple Gun Tags
(Winner is the first man to staple four strips of red fabric to their opponent)Jake Crist def. Drake Younger by victory condition
Jake did indeed tear into Drake at the bell which had many of the fans at the Markland Farm on edge. Younger made his comeback and a 50/50 Suplex had Crist down. Drake went for one of the staple guns in the corner and stuck his first tag into Jake’s upper back. He then got Crist up for Drake’s Landing and stapled another tag to Jake’s thigh. He dragged Crist to his feet and gave him another Drake’s Landing. This time a tag was stapled to Jake’s bicep. Younger then tossed Jake out of the ring but Crist was able to post Drake then pulled a wiffle ball bat covered in thumb tacks from under the ring and slammed it across Drake’s back. Crist then took the staple gun and put his first tag on Drake’s right pec. Rolling Drake back into the ring, Crist set up a chair and drove Younger through it with a tiger suplex. Drake convulsed on the mat and Jake tagged Drake on his cheek making the fans shudder as Drake howled. Jake went for The Suicide and stapled his third tag to Drake’s scalp, drawing blood. Crist repeated The Suicide, this time on a chair, and stapled the winning tag to Drake’s other cheek. The bell rang and the over-exuberant Jake grabbed the title belt but was told he had to win the tournament before he could have it. A disgruntled looking Younger left the ring area soon after and the crowd knew history would be made today with the crowning of a new champion.
Behind the scenes, medical staff pulled staples out of Jake Crist’s flesh with a needle-nose pliers: “I just won my first Tournament of Death match and against the CZW World Champion. I’m going to take this all the way to the finals!”
Burning Casket Match
(Winner is the first one to put their opponent into a pine box and light it on fire)DJ Hyde def. Danny Havoc by victory condition
As in their previous encounters, Hyde used his size advantage to slam Danny all over the ring. DJ rolled Havoc onto a board wrapped in barbed wire and gave him a running senton causing weeping punctures in Danny’s back. After a Cyclone Slam, DJ tried to put Havoc into the casket but failed. The fight left the ring where DJ smashed a light tube over Danny’s head, lacerating him. Following a tombstone piledriver onto the barbed wire board, DJ managed to get Danny into the coffin but he escaped before Hyde could set it aflame. Hyde dumped a bag of thumb tacks into the casket then gave Havoc another tombstone piledriver into it. The fans booed him ripping off the Undertaker. DJ exchanged words with the crowd as Havoc stood up in the coffin. Hyde turned around and blasted Danny with a Summoning Lariat that did its damage but knocked Havoc out of the coffin. DJ used another Cyclone Slam that dropped Danny into the casket and he slammed the lid closed. He squirted the casket with lighter flood and struck a match. Ring crew rushed to the scene with a fire extinguisher and freed Havoc from his fiery tomb. DJ moved into the semi-finals.
Danny Havoc was treated backstage for burns. He winced as ointment was applied to his seared skin: “That’s three times now, DJ. You’re that road block I just can’t get through. But that doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying.”
Gusset Plates
MASADA def. Matt Tremont by pin
Tremont entered to great fanfare and MASADA received similar support. The brawlers scrapped back and forth and MASADA was first to feel the bite of the gusset plates when Tremont whipped him into the ropes. Tremont followed it up with a Uranage for a near fall. MASADA receives a headbutt with a light tube and Matt came off the top rope with a frog splash for a two count. Outside the ring, MASADA clobbered Tremont then dove on him with a bundle of light tubes. The fight continued and MASADA was the first to get color after Tremont wrapped some barbed wire around the ring post and slammed MASADA’s face into it. Tremont went into the gusset plates, cutting his arm badly. MASADA took the win with a Skullf*cka Buster.
Matt Tremont received stitches in his arm: “MASADA really got me good with those gusset plates. He came out on top, that’s why he’s the man in deathmatch wrestling.”
The fans in attendance anxiously awaited the final first round pairing and the promised mystery guest. They were not disappointed when former CZW World Champion Jon Moxley made his return to ToD!
Barbed Wire Pole Match
(Winner must climb a barbed wire wrapped pole and retrieve the meat hook fastened at the top)Jon Moxley def. Joker by victory condition
Moxley and Joker exchanged blows and it was Joker making the first big move by belly to belly suplexing Moxley through lattice covered in carpet strips at ringside. Moxley was in trouble early. Joker’s offense didn’t let up but Mox got back into it by putting his opponent through a barbed wire wrapped table and giving him a Cutter onto a chair. Joker took Moxicity onto a bundle of light tubes, cutting him up badly, but was able to prevent Moxley from getting to the pole in the corner. Moxley following with a Hook and Ladder onto a chair which led to him ascending the pole and grabbing the meat hook for the win.
The camera shot a close up of the gnarly cuts on Joker’s back caused by broken light tubes: “I wasn’t expecting to have to face Moxley out there today but that’s the way it goes.”
SEMI-FINALS
Cinder Blocks & Panes of Glass
MASADA def. DJ Hyde by pin
DJ v MAS Cinder Block/Glass Panes
The two death match standouts battled back and forth with Hyde doing some damage outside of the ring, first by bashing MASADA’s head through a pane of glass and into the ring post and then bloodying him some more with a shot from a chair wrapped with barbed wire. MASADA came back and locked on a Texas cloverleaf after spilling some tacks for DJ to be dragged on. Hyde then gets a tombstone piledriver on a cinder block. MASADA then used a pair of powerbombs to pin DJ.
DJ Hyde held an ice pack to the top of his head: “So you got one over on me MASADA. But your days as king of the death matches is over. You’re about to find that out.”
Fans Bring the Weapons
Jon Moxley def. Jake Crist by pin
Moxley used a variety of weapons to batter and bleed Crist. Jake got in some offense but Mox dominated this match. Chairs, thumb tacks, light tubes, staple guns all came into play but it was a simple roll-up in the corner that moved Moxley into the finals.
Mia Yim came out to the ring and called out Drew Gulak. Gulak followed Kimber Lee to the ring and Mia challenged Drew to a match since he wasn’t willing to talk to her about his recent actions. Kimber Lee said that Mr. Gulak would not fight a woman because The Campaign For A Better Combat Zone did not consider that appropriate. Kimber Lee told Mia that is she wanted a fight, she would stand in for Mr. Gulak. Mia did not accept this and insisted on facing Drew. CZW Wired Champion Shane Strickland came to the ring and offered to be Mia’s partner if The Campaign were willing to have a mixed tag team match. Kimber Lee and Drew whispered between each other and came to a decision. Kimber Lee said they would agree to the match under one condition: that on the next show, Mr. Gulak would receive another shot at Strickland’s Wired title. Shane complied and the match was made.
Shane Strickland & Mia Yim def. Drew Gulak & Kimber Lee by submission
Kimber Lee lit up Mia Yim and Gulak seemed content to let his partner do the dirty work. Mia was able to tag in Strickland who was going to let Kimber Lee tag in her male counterpart but she refused, insisting Shane face her. She soon regretted it as a slingshot double stomp sent her scurrying out of the ring. Mia picked up a steel chair and brought it down across Kimber Lee’s back, eliciting a stern warning from the ref. Strickland tried finishing the match with a 450 Splash but Kimber Lee kicked out. Mia returned to the ring and locked on a guillotine choke that had Kimber Lee tapping out. Gulak helped his partner out of the ring, once again ignoring Mia’s taunts.
FINALS
600 Light Tubes
Jon Moxley def. MASADA by pin
The fans were hyped for the ToD final between the two CZW legends. Light tubes attached to the ropes formed a cage and there were many more in bundles in the corners and all around the ring. MASADA was the first to be whipped into the ropes, shattering multiple tubes. Jon immediately grabbed his opponent as he stumbled rebounding from the ropes and went for Moxicity but only got a count of one. Not long after, a piledriver gets a near fall for Moxley. Moxicity one more time gives Moxley the ToD win and the CZW World Championship. MASADA looked disgusted with himself as Moxley simply grabbed the title belt handed to him and left without celebration.
DJ Hyde sat at a desk counting money into payout envelopes. Jon Moxley swaggered up to the desk and unceremoniously dropped the CZW World Championship belt onto the desk. “Here’s what you wanted, Deej. Now give me what I want.”
Hyde sorted through the envelopes and pulled out one that was much thicker than the others. He handed it to Moxley who was nodding with his tongue out, sporting a deranged expression. He snatched the envelope and batted himself a couple of times over the head with it. “Feels about right. Pleasure doing business with you.”
Moxley left and Hyde picked up the title belt as a self-satisfied smile crossed his face.
CZW Rankings- Jon Moxley
- Jake Crist
- Drake Younger
- MASADA
- DJ Hyde
- A.R. Fox
- Shane Strickland
- Danny Havoc
- Adam Cole
- Kimber Lee
