Heavenly Wrestling Association update

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 1, 2125

New wrestlers that have signed with PIP or have been transferred from HWA:

Epsilon Beta - Transferred from HWA Bayne - Transferred from HWA Ginger Snaps - Signed with PIP

Fey Linn - Signed with PIP "Krazee" Kay Oss - Signed with PIP SHIPWRECKS (Valdez & Titanic) - Signed with PIP

* Flexicon made a successful PIP debut when he forced Hefhawg (who spent much of the match worrying about whether or not the Flock was going to come down to the ring and interfere) to submit to MR. OLYMPIA.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Colly Flower pinned Halle Burton with the DOG'S DAY.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Maiden Patriot pinned Kay Oss with the MAIDEN MISSILE.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Fey Linn broke Calico's winning streak when she pinned the feline Aniwoman with the SPELLCASTER.

* Billy B. defeated Umagapotamus by disqualification when Umagapotamus repeatedly rammed Billy's head into the security barrier.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Mynx pinned Ginger Snaps with the FOX HUNT.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Princess Barbelle pinned Alison Chainz with the CROWN ROYALE.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Pearl E. Gates pinned Lucy Kannin with the GATES OF HEAVEN.

* The Blue Dragon Dojo (Saiji Takahashi & Tokimasu Matsudaira) defeated the Shipwrecks (Valdez & Titanic) when Saiji pinned Valdez with the TAKAHASHI SPECIAL.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Chick Fighter pinned Dolly Lamma with the LUNAR ECLIPSE.

* Saint Bernard pinned King Kobra after a hard-fought battle with the Saint Spinebuster.

* Mousawa pinned Ugly Coyote after rolling through a deathjump cross body block.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 1

Kailani pinned Daisy Graze with the TROPICAL STORM. Daisy was once again distracted during the match by the "Playground centerfold" of her, as a large group of spectators in the crowd pulled cards from under their seats and held them up in the air. Each card was like a "puzzle piece", which when held together revealed the entire picture.

* The Progressives defeated the SlamPigs when Guy-Koh pinned a surprised Wart with a hurricanrana.

*

MAIN EVENT

RE-MATCH

Zero Gravity took the PIP Tag Team titles back from the Damn Dirty Apes when Hyperdrive pinned Chimpan-Z with the GRAVITY BOMB.

Next week on Pinfalls In Paradise, the tournament continues to crown the PIP Ladies champion. Epsilon Beta and Bayne make their PIP debuts, as well as many other former HWA stars who've yet to make their debut. Come back and join us again.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 5, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,802 [HWA owner and commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley is using is vast inherited wealth to open up more seating in the HWA Arena, which also serves as the home base for the Galaxian Wrestling Federation. {In other words, gang, I took the combined Total Stroke Value for every participant and multiplied it by the number of participants in order to get the total attendance. Since the HWA is a CotG-based bootleg fed, it sounded reasonable to do rather than dividing the combined T.S.V. by the number of participants like I'll continue to do in UIW, since not only is it an LoW-based bootleg fed, it still accurately represents the fan attendance I see at the local shows from which I make my wrestler cards.--DPB}])

* The Jackson Jills defeated the Molto Bellas when Julie pinned Bella Donna with the LE BOMB DE ROUGEAU.

* Esther-Jenn defeated the Walk of Fame when Jenn pinned Barbie Blaze with the PAP SMEAR. After the match, Esther entered the ring and attempted to strip Barbie to her bra and panties, but Holly Wood quickly pulled her partner and friend out of the ring, then the two of them ran back up the entrance ramp.

* The Queen Bees defeated the C&C Connection when "Beulah" (Nobody's sure if it was Beulah or not, as the Queen Bees managed to pull off the illegal "mask switch" during the match) pinned Chandra with the DRONE'S DEMISE.

* Shannon Egans pinned Bootylicious Bertha by CALLING SHENANIGANS.

* The Annihilators defeated the TNT Boyz when Terry was counted out due to a springboard moonsault to the floor by Krogon.

* Gangurru pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with the WALKABOUT.

*

2-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH

Boss Hawg and Razorback defeated Harvard Yale when Boss Hawg pinned Harvard with the SAUSAGE ROLL. After the match, Boar and Wart from PIP came down to ringside and helped their brothers subject Harvard to a massive beating, including dragging him to an area backstage where a "hog pen" was constructed, where they shoved his face into a trough full of slop. When it was over, Harvard had to be carried out of the building on a stretcher, where he'll be out of action for 5 shows. As they celebrated, Mr. Helmsley walked up to the SlamPigs and embraced them, welcoming them to the HWA. It then became obvious to the fans that Mr. Helmsley had transferred the entire Generation Swine clan to the HWA.

*

Scott Creed became the new HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Big Poppa Roach with a deathjump cross body block.

*

MAIN EVENT

Holly Pena is the new HWA Ladies champion when she pinned Demiah the Devil's Daughter with a corkscrew 450 splash.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 5, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,020)

* The Sister of Pain defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Debbie Hate rolled through a deathjump cross body block attempt by Tuffy Nuff.

* Herman Glopp pinned Boogie Lou with the GLOPP DROP.

* Abercrombie Bitch pinned Sarah N. Dipity with a running spear off the ropes.

* The Destructive Forces defeated the Samoan Vice Squad when Tornado pinned Tika with a "Category 4" VORTEX-PLEX.

* Dewie Cheatham defeated Ace Endehole by disqualification when Ace, who was still hot under the collar about Dewie and Howe's abduction of Sarah N. Dipity two weeks ago, repeatedly slammed Dewie's head into the security barrier, stopping only to charge after Howe, who was approaching Sarah, and chase him back up the entrance ramp.

* Due to a travel conflict, Hurricane was unable to wrestle Victor E. on the card tonight, so the match has been re-scheduled for this upcoming Saturday.

* Val Kira defeated Val Hailey by count out.

*

The Sisters At Heart became the new HWA Ladies Tag Team champions, defeating Everything Nice when Ambrosia pinned Sugah with the SNEDEKER SLAM.

*

MAIN EVENT

The Ark Angels defeated Road-Rayge to successfully defend the HWA Tag Team titles when Gabriel pinned Roadkill by GOD'S WILL.

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 8, 2125

* Party Harty got a measure of revenge over Black Sheep when he pinned the "Straight Edge Nation" leader with he BOMBED SWAN.

* Big Cock Murdock pinned Slap Stick with the Andromeda Drop.

* Salami Joe forced Dngo to tap out to the HOG TIED.

* Epsilon Beta pinned "Big Kitty Snooze No-Sell" Kevin Gnash with the BETA MAX.

* Dustin DeWind defeated Perry Noya by count out when Perry left the ring and went through the crowd to leave the HWA Arena.

* Snake Oil defeated LAX when Flim pinned Skrit with the BILL OF GOODS.

* 666 pinned Devil's Reject with an Asiatic Spike.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 2

Colly Flower pinned Mynx with the DOG'S DAY.

* The Killer Whales defeated Surf's Up when Orca pinned Body Glove with the BEACHED WHALES. After the match, Ugly Coyote, who wasn't even scheduled to be on the card, slid into the ring and assisted Orca in performing repeated deathjumps on Body Glove, putting him out of action for 6 shows.

* The Deadly Sins defeated the Kings of the Swamp when Levi Ethan pinned Croc Od'Ile with the GREEN-EYED MONSTROCITY.

* Bayne made Bruder Galgen tap out to the BAYNE-BREAKER.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 2

Fey Linn put Princess Barbelle to sleep with the BLACKOUT.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 2

Chick Fighter pinned Pearl E. Gates with the ASS-SAULT.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - ROUND 2

Maiden Patriot pinned Kailani with a brainbuster suplex.

*

MAIN EVENT

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[/center]

Davey Storm successfully retained the PIP Heavyweight title when he pinned Mousawa with the RUNNING POWER SLAM.

Next week on Pinfalls In Paradise, the tournament to crown the PIP Ladies champion moves into the semi-final round, as Maiden Patriot takes on Fey Linn and Colly Flower takes on Chickfighter. Come back and join us again.

[du5tin]

Party Harty with a win over Black Sheep!

You should use Mousawa~!

Salami Joe = GOLD!

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 5, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,614)

* Boogie Lou defeated Razorback by disqualification when the referee caught Razorback using the Chitlin Chomp.

* The SlamPigs defeated the Destructive Forces when Boar pinned Tornado with the PIGS IN A BLANKET.

* The Annihilators defeated the Samoan Vice Squad when Krogon pinned S'Nunu with the IMMINENT DESTRUCTION.

* Sheik Khalid Sirhan pinned Herman Glopp with the ALLAH AKBAR.

* Ace Endehole pinned Dewie Cheatham with the HEADS UP.

* Victor E. pinned Hurricane in their re-scheduled match with the VICTOR E. PRESS. After the match, Victor grabbed the mike.

VICTOR E.

If I were you, Hurricane, I'd fire my travel agent, since he can't get you to a show when you're scheduled.

*

Gangurru became the new HWA Heavyweight champion when he pinned Warren Peace with 2 consecutive WALKABOUTs.

*

The TNT Boyz defeated the Ark Angels to become the new HWA Tag Team champions when Terry pinned Gabriel with the C-4.

*

MAIN EVENT


RE-MATCH

Big Poppa Roach re-captured the HWA Tri-Planetary title from Scott Creed when he pinned Scott with the ROACH MOTEL.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
"EVERY MONDAY'S NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT"
June 5, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,362)

Vincent Shawn Helmsley has shaken things up in the HWA once more, declaring that every Monday night show will be dedicated to the HWA divas.

* 'Nuff's Enough defeated the Molto Bellas when Tuffy Nuff pinned Bella Donna with the SHO' 'NUFF.

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Abercrombie [censored] with the BOOTY BOMB..

* The Jackson Jills defeated the Sisters of Pain when Julie pinned Jenna love with the WIDOW'S PEAK.

*

TAG TEAM BRA AND PANTIES MATCH

RULES:

1. Titan Death rules apply, which means no disqualifications or count outs.
2. Both members of one team must be stripped down to their bra and panties in order for a winner to be declared.
3. When a diva rolls her PIN rating, one article of clothing is stripped off of her. To find out what article of clothing is stripped off, roll 1 die. ODD = The diva's top article of clothing is ripped off, revealing her bra. EVEN = The diva's bottom article of clothing is ripped off, revealing her panties.
4. If a diva is stripped to her bra and panties, she is eliminated from the match, and the match continues until both members of one team is stripped to her bra and panties.

Now that the rules have been explained, let's get to the results.

1. Esther stripped Barbie Blaze to her panties.
2. Barbie stripped Jenn to her bra.
3. Jenn stripped Holly Wood to her bra.
4. Esther stripped Holly to her panties, eliminating Holly from the match.
5. Esther stripped Barbie to her bra, eliminating Barbie from the match and giving the win to Esther-Jenn. Jenn obliged the crowd and removed her shorts, revealing a pair of floss thong panties. The crowd tried to encourage Esther to remove her muumuu and reveal her bra and granny panties, but she wasn't having any of it, preferring to keep a little bit of dignity.

* In a match which would see the Queen Bees give up their masks forever if they lost, the Queen Bees managed to keep their masks by defeating the C&C Connection when Beulah pinned Chandra with thhane SWARM ATTACK.

* Shannon Egans defeated Sarah N. Dipity by count out due to a springboard moonsault to the floor.

*

RE-MATCH

The Sisters At Heart successfully defended the HWA Ladies Tag Team titles, defeating Everything Nice when Ambrosia pinned Sugah with the SNEDEKER SLAM.

*

MAIN EVENT

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RE-MATCH[/center]

Holly Pena successfully defended the HWA Ladies title when she pinned Demiah the Devil's Daughter with a corkscrew 450 splash.

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 8, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,646)

* Ginger Snaps pinned Daisy Graze with a back body drop. During the match, leaflets fell from the ceiling. Several of those leaflets fell into the ring. Daisy picked one up, only to find out that the leaflets were actually "her 'Playground' centerfolds." This provided enough distraction for Ginger to get the victory.

* Alison Chainz pinned Dolly Lamma with a backbreaker

* Billy B. pinned Brown Starfish with the BILLY BONG.

* Animosity defeated Snake Oil when Flim was disqualified for repeatedly ramming Flaw's head into the retaining barrier.

* LAX defeated the Killer Whales when Orca was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring with Pouch.

* The Blue Dragon Dojo defeated the Masters of Darkness when Tokimasu Matsudaira got a quick pin on King of Darkness following a Samaurai Driver.

* King Kobra made Mousawa tap out to the KOBRA KROSS KLUTCH.

* Bayne pinned Ugly Coyote to become the #1 contender for the PIP Heavyweight title when Ugly Coyote knocked himself out on the turnbuckle after missing a running shoulder tackle attempt.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - SEMI FINAL ROUND

Maiden Patriot pinned Fey Linn with the MAIDEN MISSILE to advance to the final round.

*

TOURNAMENT MATCH - SEMI FINAL ROUND

Colly Flower pinned Chickfighter with the DOG'S DAY to advance to the final round.

*

Zero Gravity defeated the Progressives to successfully defend the PIP Tag titles when Shooting Star pinned A-Flack with the Buisaiku Knee Kick.

MAIN EVENT

[/i]--SPECIAL CHALLENGE GRUDGE MATCH[/u][/center]

Black Sheep & Bruder Galgen defeated the team of Party Harty & Hefhawg when Bruder pinned Hefhawg with the S.O.B. After the match, Slap Stick came down to the ring as Party Harty was fighting with Black Sheep and helped Hefhawg knock Bruder the mat before sliding out of the ring and opening the fly of his pants, allowing a 2-ft. long balloon to inflate. Once it had inflated, he began chasing Daisy around the ring, puckering his lips and making "kissing" noises as he chased her back up the ramp. While this was going on, Hefhawg repeatedly hit the MONEY SHOT on Bruder, putting him out of action for 3 shows.

Next week on Pinfalls In Paradise, the PIP Ladies championship is up for grabs in a Titan Death match, as Maiden Patriot takes on Colly Flower for all the marbles. And what does Black Sheep have in store for Slap Stick for his antics as well as his part in putting Bruder out of action? Come back and join us again to find out.

[barnestormer]

Rumors are floating around the independent wrestling scene that while he's at home convalescing from the injuries he sustained at the hands of Generation Swine, Harvard Yale has been looking to recruit some help from three old college buddies, Red Bear, Crimson Bulldog and Prince Ton'ne (pronounce Tone-Nay).

Unfortunately for Harvard, those rumors have already reached the ears of HWA owner and commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley, who has vowed to keep any wrestlers that Harvard wishes to recruit out of the HWA.

"Harvard Yale is not a licensed scouting agent for the Heavenly Wrestling Association" Mr. Helmsley was quoted as saying, "and therefore is not qualified to recruit anyone into the HWA. However, whould these individuals wish to try out for the PIP in the hope of being called up to the HWA, they're more than welcome to send me a holovid of their matches from other promotions for my 'personal review,' and if they impress me, I might let them join the PIP."

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 19, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,560)

* Scott Creed threw everything but the kitchen sink at the 521 lb. Boss Hawg, just trying to knock him down during their match. Eventually, it took Boss Hawg trying to give Scott a flying shoulder tackle as Scott bounced off the ropes, only to have Scott use the momentum to deliver a devastating stun gun, which set him up to pin Boss Hawg via MY SACRIFICE.

* Victor E. pinned Boogie Lou with a vertical suplex.

* Road-Rayge defeated the SlamPigs when Rayge pinned Wart when, while the referee was escorting Boar back to his corner after saving Wart from being pinned by FURIOUS ANGER, Rayge lifted Wart in an inverted vertical suplex while Roadkill came off the rop rope and speared Wart to the mat.

* Dewie Cheatham pinned Herman Glopp with a deathjump cross body block.

* Hurricane pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with a CYCLONE SLAM. After the match, Hurricane grabbed the mike.

HURRICANE

You know, Victor E., last week you gave me a good laugh after I came to after our match when you said I should "fire my travel agent because he couldn't even get me to a show when I was scheduled." Well, if you'd have bothered to check the recordings that were taking place backstage two weeks ago, when I was scheduled to face you, I was in my dressing room, ready do go, when one of the stagehands came back and tell me my match was re-scheduled because you couldn't make it to the arena due to problems arranging transportation to the match. So maybe you should fire your...(Victor E. comes down the ring with another mike)

VICTOR E.

Excuse me, I hate to burst your bubble, but I was here two weeks ago, in my dressing room, ready to face you, when one of the stagehands came back and told me that the match was re-scheduled because you couldn't make it because you couldn't get transportation to the match.

HURRICANE

That's really childish of you, Victor, repeating my words. But let's take you for your word for a minute. You say you were here, ready to wrestle me.

VICTOR E.

That's right.

HURRICANE

And recordings from backstage prove I was here, ready to wrestle. So I guess the only conclusion that we can draw from two weeks ago is that the reason you didn't wrestle me was because you were too scared to face me. (Upon hearing this, Victor spears Hurricane to the mat and the two begin to roll and punch on the mat until the locker room clears out and pulls the two apart. Hurricane breaks away from the group holding him and launches his own counter-attack on Victor, forcing the two to be pulled apart again. All of a sudden, HWA owner and commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley comes down to the ring with his own mike.)

VINCENT SHAWN HELMSLEY

That's it! I've had enough out of you two! Since you two want at each other so badly, you can take each other on next week...in a cage! Now, security, escort the both of them out of my building!

* The Destructive Forces defeated the Annihilators when Tornado pinned Krogon with a "Category 3" VORTEX-PLEX.

*

RE-MATCH

The Ark Angels defeated the TNT Boyz when Terry was counted out by way of a springboard moonsault to the floor by Gabriel; however, since titles in the HWA only change hands by pinfall or submission, the TNT Boyz are still the HWA Tag Team champions. A "Last Chance" Titan Death Match will be scheduled next week between the two for the titles.

*

Warren Peace re-captured the HWA Heavyweight title from Gangurru when he pinned the kangaroo Animan from the Andromedan Outback with the PEACE TREATY.

*

]MAIN EVENT

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