Heavenly Wrestling Association update

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
"EVERY MONDAY'S NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT"
June 21, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,318)

* Everything Nice defeated the Sisters of Pain when Sugah pinned Debbie Hate with the EYE CANDY.

* Walk of Fame defeated the Molto Bellas when Bella Donna was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring with Barbie Blaze.

* Sarah N. Dipity pinned Abercrombie [censored] with the HAPPY ACCIDENT.

* Demiah the Devil's Daughter made Bootylicious Bertha submit to a trapezius nerve hold.

* 'Nuff's Enough defeated the Jackson Jills when Tuffy Nuff pinned Julie with the SHO' 'NUFF.

* The Queen Bees defeated Esther-Jenn when Beulah pinned Esther with the SWARM ATTACK.

* Shannon Egans pinned Val Hailey with the Irish Coffee Klatch.

*

The Sisters at Heart successfully defended the HWA Ladies Tag Team titles against the C&C Conneciton when Ambrosia pinned Chandra with a clothesline.

MAIN EVENT


Val Kira became the new HWA Ladies champion when she pinned Holly Pena with VAL KIRA'S RIDE.

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 22, 2125

(Total Attendance: 11,440)

* "Krazee" Kay Oss pinned Calico with the HOSTILE MAKEOVER.

* "Big Kitty Snooze No-Sell" Kevin Gnash pinned Dustin DeWind with the BIG EASY POWER BOMB.

* In a special challenge grudge match, Slap Stick forced Black Sheep to submit to an inverted belly to back bear hug. After the match, Slap Stick was clotheslined from behind by Flexicon, who then repeatedly nailed him with MR. UNIVERSE, putting him out of action for 1 show. Black Sheep embraced Flexicon and welcomed him into "The Flock".

* Perry Noya pinned Hefhawg with his TRUST ISSUES. After the match, Black Sheep and Flexicon came down to ringside and prepared to enter the ring for a 2-on-1 beat down, but Party Harty appeared on the holovid screen in his "drop top" hovercar. Sitting next to him, tied and gagged, was Daisy Graze.

PARTY HARTY

Hey, Black Sheep! I just wanted to say thanks for the loan of your girlfriend, Daisy. We're gonna go someplace secluded and have our own little "private photo session." (Party Harty hits the gas and takes off as Black Sheep and Flexicon run back up the ramp in order to chase after him.)

* Salami Joe made Saint Bernard tap out to the HOG TIED.

* The Deadly Sins defeated Animosity when Flaw was disqualified for using Flawed on B.L. Zebob.

*

TITAN DEATH MATCH FINAL ROUND OF THE PIP LADIES TITLE TOURNAMENT

Colly Flower pinned Maiden Patriot with the DOG'S DAY to capture the PIP Ladies title.

* LAX defeated the Shipwrecks when Titanic was counted out while chasing Skrit around the ring when he entered the ring to save Pouch from being pinned with the SUNK AND FORGOTTEN.

* Pearl E. Gates pinned Princess Barbelle with a power bomb.

* The Kings of the Swamp defated the Killer Whales when Ali Ga'Tor pinned Willy with the Ga'Tor Press.

* The Progressives defeated the Masters of Darkness when Guy-Koh pinned Prince of Darkness with the GUY-KOH-NATOR.

* The Blue Dragon Dojo defeated Damn Dirty Apes when Saiji Takahashi pinned G-Rilla with the TAKAHASHI SPECIAL.

* Chickfighter pinned Lucy Kannin with the LUNAR ECLIPSE.

* Fey Linn defeated Kailani by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

*

MAIN EVENT

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Davey Storm successfully defended the PIP Heavyweight title when he pinned Bayne with a military press drop.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 26, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,362)

* Razorback pinned Scott Creed with the PON HOSS POUNCE.

* Boss Hawg pinned Gangurru with the SAUSAGE FEST.

* The SlamPigs defeated the Destructive Forces when Wart pinned Tornado with a belly to back suplex.

* The Annihilators defeated the Samoan Vice Squad when Krogon pinned S'Nunu with a deathjump cross body block.

* Herman Glopp pinned Dewie Cheatham with the GLOPP DROP.

* Ace Endehole defeated Sheik Khalid Sirhan by disqualification when the referee caught Khalid throwing powder in Ace's eyes.

*

Warren Peace successfully defended the HWA Heavyweight title when he pinned Hurricane with the PEACE TREATY. Hurricane was scheduled to face Victor E. in a steel cage match, but HWA owner/commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley decided to postpone the match until next week because Victor E. had earned himself a shot at the HWA Tri-Planetary title.

*

TITAN DEATH RE-MATCH

The TNT Boyz successfully defended the HWA Tag Team titles over the Ark Angels when Tracey pinned Gabriel after Terry dropped an elbow on Gabriel while the referee was escorting Michael back to his corner when Terry attempted to save Tracey from being pinned by GOD'S WILL.

*

MAIN EVENT

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Victor E. is the new HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Big Poppa Roach with the VICTOR E. PRESS. This victory forced Mr. Helmsley to push back the steel cage match between Hurricane and Victor for another week as Big Poppa Roach invokes his contractual automatic re-match clause.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
"EVERY MONDAY'S NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT"
June 28, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,678)

* The Sisters of Pain defeated the Molto Bellas when Jenna Love pinned Bella Nora with the KISS OFF.

* Everything Nice defeated the Walk of Fame when Sugah pinned Holly Wood with the EYE CANDY.

* Demiah the Devil's Daughter pinned Sarah N. Dipity with the DEVIL'S SEED

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Abercrombie [censored] with the BOOTY BOMB.

* The Jackson Jills defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Julie pinned Tuffy Nuff with a cartwheel kick.

* The Queen Bees defeated Esther-Jenn when "Beulah" pinned Jenn with the DRONE'S DEMISE. (We're not sure if it was Beulah who scored the pin or not, because during the match the Queen Bees managed to pull off their infamous illegal "masked switch" gimmick.

* Shannon Egans pinned Val Hailey with the CALLING SHENANIGANS.

*

The C&C Connection can finally call themselves HWA Ladies Tag Team champions, as they defeated the Sisters At Heart to capture the belts when Carissa pinned Ambrosia with a surprise small package.

MAIN EVENT

Val Kira successfully defended the HWA Ladies title when she pinned Holly Pena with VAL KIRA'S RIDE.

---

HWA RANKINGS
(For the period ending June 28, 2125)

CHAMPION: Warren Peace

CHAMPION: Victor E.

1. Big Poppa Roach
2. Harvard Yale
3. Ace Endehole
4. Hurricane
5. Sheik Khalid Sirhan
6. Dewie Cheatham
7. Herman Glopp
8. Gangurru
9. Razorback
10. Scott Creed

CHAMPIONS: TNT Boyz (Tracey & Terry)

1. Annihilators (Pthalos & Krogon)
2. Destructive Forces (Volcano & Tornado)
3. Road-Rayge (Roadkill & Rayge)
4. Ark Angels (Michael & Gabriel)
5. Samoan Vice Squad (S'Nunu & Tika)
6. SlamPigs (Boar & Wart)

CHAMPION: Val Kira

1. Shannon Egans
2. Val Hailey
3. Bootylicious Bertha
4. Sarah N. Dipity
5. Abercrombie [censored]
6. Demiah the Devil's Daughter
7. Holly Pena

CHAMPIONS: C&C Connection (Carissa & Chandra)

1. Sisters At Heart (Ambrosia & Desiree)
2. Queen Bees (Beatrice & Beulah)
3. Jackson Jills (Julie & Peppermint Patty)
4. Esther-Jenn (Esther & Jenn)
5. 'Nuff's Enough (Justine & Tuffy Nuff)
6. Walk of Fame (Barbie Blaze & Holly Wood)
7. Molto Bellas (Bella Donna & Bella Nora)
8. Everything Nice (Sugah & Spyce)
9. Sisters of Pain (Jenna Love & Debbie Hate)

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

June 29, 2125

(Total Attendance: 5,346)

* Mynx pinned Calico with the FOX HUNT.

* Snake Oil defeated the Kings of the Swamp when Flam made Ali Ga'Tor submit to the BROOKLYN BRIDGE.

* Salami Joe HOG TIED Billy B. for the submission victory.

* The next match scheduled on the card was supposed to be Maiden Patriot taking on Daisy Graze, but once Maiden Patriot entered the ring, Black Sheep and the newest Flock member Flexicon stormed into the ring and chased Maiden Patriot out of the ring.

BLACK SHEEP

Party Harty, you've had your fun last week, now return Daisy to me right now, and I promise I'll let bygones between us be bygones. (Party Harty appears on the holovid screen. He appears to be in a bed in a hotel honeymoon suite, covered by a red satin blanket . A huge lump can be seen squirming around near his crotch area.)

PARTY HARTY

Whoa, Daisy! Take it easy down there, there's plenty of me to last us another week. (Party Harty looks up at the camera). Oh, hey Black Sheep, you won't believe this hot little number you've got here. Now I've never explored beastiality before, but I've got to say, this girl's a real animal. As you can see, last week's "private photo session" got a little hot and heavy. Well, I'll let you see for yourself. (All of a sudden, Black Sheep looks down and pulls his cell phone, which started to vibrate, out of his pants pocket. It appeared that Party Harty had emailed him some "private photos" of him and Daisy Graze, causing Black Sheep to become very irate as he shut off the phone before the cameras could catch any views of the "photos".)

BLACK SHEEP

Harty, you're sick. How dare you do those things to my sister! Let me tell you right now that wherever you're hiding, you'd better stay there, because the next time I see you, not only will I take all of those bottles of alcohol you drink your poison out of and shove them up you [CENSORED], but you're going to go to jail because I'm filing charges against you for rape.

PARTY HARTY

Well, you could have me arrested for rape, but since what we did was consentual, it's not rape. (Party Harty lifts the blanket up and peers down at the squirming figure.) Isn't that right, Daisy?

DAISY GRAZE SOUND-ALIKE VOICE

Mmmmm, yeah, baby? Now, get back down here and give me some more of what you've been giving me all week! (Party Harty crawls under the covers as the screen goes black.

FLEXICON

You know, Black Sheep, none of this would've happened if that idiot Hefhawg didn't start showing those pictures of Daisy in the first place. We need to find him and put him out of business for good.

BLACK SHEEP

You're right, Flexicon. Let's go. (Black Sheep and Flexicon leave the ring and go back up the entrance in search of Hefhawg. As for the results of the match between Maiden Patriot and Daisy Graze, Maiden Patriot was awarded the match by forfeit, due to Daisy's being unable to appear.)

* Fey Linn pinned Pearl E. Gates with the SPELL CASTER.

* King Kobra forced Bayne to tap out to the KOBRA KROSS KLUTCH.

* The Progressives got a surprise victory over the Deadly Sins when Guy-Koh pinned B.L. Zebob with a spinning heel kick.

*

Chickfighter became the new PIP Ladies champion when she pinned Colly Flower with the ASS-SAULT.

*

MAIN EVENT

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The Blue Dragon Dojo are the new PIP Tag Team champions, defeating Zero Gravity when Tokimasu Matsudaira pinned Hyperdrive with the PATH OF THE SAMURAI. When the referee went to hand the belts to Tokimasu and Saiji Takahashi, Hyperdrive and Shooting Star grabbed them and bowed to the Japanese tag team as they presented them the titles, in a show of respect. Tokimasu and Saiji then showed their respect by raising the hands of the former champions.

Coming up next week on Pinfalls In Paradise, will Black Sheep and Flexicon find Hefhawg, and if so, what do they have in store for him? Also, Colly Flower get the opportunity to reclaim the PIP Ladies belt from Chickfighter, while Zero Gravity will attempt to wrest the PIP Tag straps away from the Blue Dragon Dojo. So join us again next week for more PIP action.

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RANKINGS
(For the period ending July 29, 2125)

CHAMPION: Davey Storm

1. King Kobra
2. Bayne
3. Bruder Galgen
4. Salami Joe
5. Billy B.
6. Ugly Coyote
7. Mousawa
8. Perry Noya
9. Saint Bernard
10. "Big Kitty Snooze No-Sell" Kevin Gnash

CHAMPION: Blue Dragon Dojo (Saiji Takahashi & Tokimasu Matsudaira)

1. Zero Gravity (Hyperdrive & Shooting Star)
2. Progressives (A-Flack & Guy-Koh)
3. Deadly Sins (Levi Ethan & B.L. Zebob)
4. Damn Dirty Apes (G-Rilla & Chimpan-Z)
5. Snake Oil (Flim & Flam)
6. Kings of the Swamp (Croc Od'Ile & Ali Ga'tor)
7. Killer Whales (Orca & Willy)
8. Masters of Darkness (Prince of Darkness & King of Darkness)
9. LAX (Skrit & Pouch)
10. Animosity (Virtue & Flaw)

CHAMPION: Chickfighter

1. Colly Flower
2. Maiden Patriot
3. Fey Linn
4. Kailani
5. Mynx
6. Pearl E. Gates
7. Princess Barbelle
8. Alison Chainz
9. Ginger Snaps
10. Lucy Kannin

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 3, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,140)

* Herman Glopp pinned Scott Creed with the GLOPP DROP.

* The Samoan Vice Squad defeated the Ark Angels when S'Nunu pinned Gabriel with the SAMOAN SMASHER.

* The Destructive Forces defeated Road-Rayge when Tornado pinned Rayge with a "Category 3" VORTEX-PLEX.

* Hurricane defeated Gangurru by disqualificaton following a brawl outside the ring.

* Ace Endehole defeated Dewie Cheatham by count out due to a springboard moonsault to the floor.

* Harvard Yale made a successful return to the ring after coming back from injuries at the hands of Generation Swine by defeating Generation Swine in a 4-on-1 handicap match when he pinned Boss Hawg with a power slam, much to the dismay of HWA owner/commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley. Unfortunately for Mr. Helmsley, he must now honor an agreement made before the match which states that Harvard Yale must be given an HWA title shot on the next show. Had Harvard lost the match, he would never get a shot at any HWA title as long as Mr. Helmsley was the owner of the HWA.

*

The TNT Boyz successfully defended the HWA Tag Team titles, defeating the Annihilators when Terry pinned Pthalos with the IMPLOSION.

* HWA Heavyweight champion Warren Peace pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan in a non-title match with the ART OF WAR.

Mr. Helmsley came down to the ring amidst the jeers of the crowd before the main event and grabbed the mike.

VINCENT SHAWN HELMSLEY

All of you people out in the audience need to shut up because I've got something important to say. Referee Frank Lesalle, get out here. (Frank Lesalle, the referee that was in charge of the 4-on-1 handicap match walks down to the ring.) Let's go, Frankie, I don't have all day. (Frank steps into the ring.) You cause me a lot of embarrasement earlier today with that fast count on Boss Hawg. I paid you to do a job, and you didn't do it. (Frank grabs the mike from Mr. Helmsley)

REFEREE FRANK LESALLE

Wait just a damn minute. Let's get the record straight. The only job you paid me to do was to call that match right down the middle, and I did just that. I held no favorites toward either Harvard Yale or Generation Swine. Yes, the cadence of my count is a little quick by some people's standards, but I'm an honest referee. Now I'm sorry that your little "pets" didn't win the match tonight, but I'm not going to take the blame for...(All of a sudden, Frank is blasted from behind by a double clothesline by the SlamPigs, as Generation Swine hit the ring for a 4-on-1 assault on Frank. It took several BACONATORs, SAUSAGE FESTs and PON HOSS POUNCHes to lay Frank out, his head bleeding profusely.)

VINCENT SHAWN HELMSLEY

As I was starting to say before you so rudely interrupted me, Mr. Lesalle, YOU'RE FIRED! Security, get him out of my ring, out of my building, and out of my life! (Security and medical personnel load Frank onto a stretcher and wheel him out of the building into a waiting ambulance, which speeds off.)

*

MAIN EVENT

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RE-MATCH[/center]

Despite losing the match by count out to Big Poppa Roach due to a springboard moonsault to the floor, Victor E. is still the HWA Tri-Planetary champion, pushing his cage match with Hurricane one more week as he will face the cockroach Animan from the Andromedan Underground next week in a Titan Death Match.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
"EVERY MONDAY'S NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT"
June 28, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,480)

* Demiah the Devil's Daughter pinned Holly Pena with the DEVIL'S SEED.

* The Sisters of Pain defeated the Molto Bellas when Jenna Love pinned Bella Donna with the KISS OFF.

* Sarah N. Dipity made Abercrombie [censored] submit to a full nelson.

* Esther-Jenn defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Esther pinned Tuffy Nuff with the PMS.

* The Jackson Jills defeated the Queen Bees when Peppermint Patty pinned Beulah after Beulah knocked herself out when she missed a running shoulder tackle attempt into the turnbuckle.

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Val Hailey with the BOOTY BOMB.

*

RE-MATCH

The C&C Connection successfully defende the HWA Ladies Tag Team champions, as they defeated the Sisters At Heart when Chandra pinned Ambrosia with the CRESCENT KICK.

MAIN EVENT

Val Kira successfully defended the HWA Ladies title when she defeated Shannon Egans by disqualification when Shannon repeatedly whipped Kira into the security barrier.

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 6, 2125

(Total Attendance: 5,833)

* Hefhawg was distracted during his match with Boogie Lou (who was transferred to PIP last week) by a breaking news story that appeared over the holovid about his multibillion credit home burning to the ground. This distraction proved to be his undoing, as Boogie Lou pinned him with the DISCO DUCK.

* Animosity defeated the team of Flock members Black Sheep and Flexicon (who spent most of the match gloating over Hefhawg's misfortune) when Virtue pinned Flexicon with the PARAGON OF VIRTUE.

* Alison Chainz pinned Dolly Lamma with the ROOSTER.

* The Masters of Darkness defeated LAX when King of Darkness pinned Pouch with the SMASH INTO THE DARK.

* Salami Joe HOG TIED Mousawa for another submission victory.

* Kailani pinned Kay Oss with the TROPICAL STORM.

*

RE-MATCH

Colly Flower re-captured the PIP Ladies title when she pinned Chickfighter with the DOG'S DAY.

*

King Kobra became the new PIP Heavyweight champion when he made Davey Storm tap out to the KOBRA KROSS KLUTCH.

*

MAIN EVENT

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RE-MATCH[/center]

Zero Gravity re-captured the PIP Tag Team titles from the Blue Dragon Dojo when Hyperdrive pinned Saiji Takahashi with a diving facebuster.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 10, 2125

(Total Attendance: 5,480)

(HWA owner/comissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley came down to ringside as the crowd jeered and grabbed the mike.)

VINCENT SHAWN HELMSLEY

Tonight, Harvard Yale gets his long-awaited shot at the HWA Heavyweight title, thanks to that little fast count by former referee Frank LeSalle. Now, there's nothing I can do to change that, but since Mr. Yale's still got a bit of ring rust from being out of action for so long before coming back and earning his title shot, I've come up with a generous solution. Harvard Yale, before your scheduled HWA Heavyweight title challenge, you're going to run the gauntlet. I've hand-picked seven opponents for you to face in seven matches, and since the only other match besides your title challenge is the Titan Death re-match between Victor E. and Big Poppa Roach for the Tri-Planetary title, it looks as though you're going to have to face all of your seven opponents one after the other. So, sorry about your bit of bad luck. Oh, and one other thing, Mr. Yale, you won't know who your opponents are until they step through the curtain, so good luck to you. (Mr. Helmsley hands the mike back to the ring announcer and takes a seat by play-by-play commenator Austin Williams.)

* The SlamPigs defeated Harvard Yale when Boar pinned Harvard with the BACONATOR.

* Razorback pinned Harvard with the Chitlin Chomp.

* The Samoan Vice Squad defeated Harvard when Tika pinned Harvard with the SAMOAN SMASHER.

* Road-Rayge defeated Harvard when Roadkill pinned Harvard with a spinebuster.

* The Annihilators defeated Harvard when Pthalos forced Harvard to tap out to a full nelson.

* Dewie Cheatham pinned Harvard when he rolled through Harvard's deathjump cross body block attempt.

* Harvard finally managed to get a pin on someone during his gauntlet run when he pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with his new finishing move, the LAW REVIEW.

*

Warren Peace reluctantly pinned Harvard with a snap suplex to successfully defend the HWA Heavyweight title.

*

MAIN EVENT

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TITAN DEATH RE-MATCH

Victor E. pinned Big Poppa Roach with the VICTOR E. PRESS to successfully retain the HWA Tri-Planetary title.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
"EVERY MONDAY'S NIGHT IS LADIES' NIGHT"
July 12, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,444)

* Demiah the Devil's Daughter pinned Holly Pena with the DEVIL'S SEED.

* The Bella Donnas broke their two-month long losing streak, defeating Everything Nice when Bella Nora pinned Sugah with the MAMBO ITALIANO followed by the BELLA NOCHE KISS.

* The Sisters of Pain defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Debbie Hate pinned Justine Nuff with the BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX.

* The Sisters At Heart defated the Walk of Fame when Desiree pinned Holly Wood with EVERY MAN'S DESIRE.

* Sarah N. Dipity defeated Abercrombie [censored] by count out after nailing her with a springboard moonsault on the floor.

* The Jackson Jills defeated the Queen Bees by disqualification when Beulah repeatedly whipped Peppermint Patty into the security barrier.

* Val Hailey made Bootylicious Bertha submit to the HONORED DEAD.

*

Esther-Jenn became the new HWA Ladies Tag Team champions, defeating the C&C Connection when Esther pinned Chandra with the PMS.

*

MAIN EVENT

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Val Kira successfully defended the HWA Ladies title when she pinned Shannon Egans with a Death Valley Driver.