Commentary: Joe Dombrowski & Danhausen
Ring Announcer: Larry Legend
Referees: Jake Clemons, Aaron Noyes
The commentary section on the balcony of Center Stage is festooned with Halloween decorations. Joe Dombrowski sits at the table with Danhausen, a large bowl of candy in front of them. Joe is wearing a glittery white cowboy outfit with accompanying hat.
Joe:
“Good evening everyone and Happy Halloween! This is Joe Dombrowski for PWIS and this is our MC for the night, the very nice, the very evil - Danhausen."Danhausen:
“How are you tonight, Joe-Ralphie?”Joe:
“Ralphie wha..?"Danhausen:
“You look like swollen Peter Billingsley.”Joe:
“Swollen? Peter… What? I don’t look anything like him!”Danhausen:
“There’s probably a resemblance…”Joe:
“Well, moving on. Our friend Danhausen has a night of fun in store for our trick or treaters.”Danhausen:
“Fun for Danhausen at least.”Joe:
“And from what you have said, by the end of the night, someone will be cursed.”Danhausen:
“Yes. Curses. That is what Danhausen does. A curse will fall upon the deserving.”Joe:
“What if there’s no one who deserves it?”Danhausen:
“Are you looking to be that person, Joe-Ralphie?”Joe:
“Um, moving on... Let’s bring in some trick or treaters.”The first trick or treaters come to the table. Tony Deppen wearing his black framed “birth control" glasses. With him is his rival, Jack Cartwheel, wearing a fireman’s helmet.
Tony:
“So you’re giving out treats?”Danhausen:
“What are you supposed to be?”Tony:
“Um… A professional wrestler.”Danhausen:
“Mm. Not very original.”Tony:
“Anyway. I want this guy here in a match tonight.”Danhausen:
“That’s all? Is this what you want, Mr. Fireman?”
Cartwheel nods.
Danhausen:
“Kind of boring but okay.”There is an awkward pause then Deppen sneers and snatches a piece of candy out of the bowl and leaves. Cartwheel takes a piece and thanks his host before leaving as swell.
Next, the table is soon surrounded by members of Been To The Show - Chris Masters, Matt Cardona, Brian Myers, and Swoggle.
Danhausen:
“Where are your costumes?”Chris:
“Costumes? What are you talking about? We were told you were making the matches tonight.”Danhausen:
“This is true.”Swoggle reaches up and takes a piece of candy from the bowl.
Chris:
“Well, I got a match for you. Here it is - Been To The Show, that’s us, versus those two morons Ironbeast.”Danhausen:
“Hmph. Danhausen thinks he's seen that before.”Chris:
“No, this time it’s going to be different.”Danhausen:
“Is it going to be scary?”Chris:
“Oh, it’s going to be scary. I promise.”Masters pulls up something on his smart phone and shows it to Danhausen, who seems intrigued.
Danhausen:
“Danhausen approves.”Chris:
“Ye-es!”Masters pumps his fist and Cardona slaps him on the back.
Matt:
“We got ‘em now, Broski!”Swoggle sneaks another piece of candy but Danhausen notices and gives him a cross look.
The BTTS crew sit in some nearby stadium seats and talk among themselves.
Danhausen:
“Who else do we have?”Angelina Love and Miranda Gordy arrive dressed as naughty nurses.
Angelina and Miranda:
“Treat or treat!!”Danhausen’s eyes widen.
Angelina:
“Hi, Danhausen. Do we get a treat? Or do we have to give you a trick?”Danhausen no-sells Angelina’s flirtation.
Danhausen:
“Danhausen is the one who does the tricks.”Angelina:
“Are you calling us tricks?”Danhausen is getting flustered.
Danhausen:
“Uh, Danhausen says you ladies are going on first. So… you need to go to the ring.”The women each take a piece of candy and leave.
Angelina and Miranda:
“Bye, Danhausen!”Danhausen:
"Those two are vexing, Joe-Ralphie.”Joe:
“So we’re doing this 'Ralphie' thing all night then.”Danhausen:
“Yes.”Swoggle returns and reaches into the candy bowl, getting a glare from Danhausen, and scuttles away.
Danhausen:
“Did you see that?”Joe:
“Let’s go to the ring for our first match.”
Larry, dressed as Reverend Slick, makes the introductions. Angelina and Miranda wait in the ring as eerie music plays. Coming up the entrance are the visually striking duo of Su Yung and Holidead. Angelina and Miranda show surprise.
Danhausen:
“Now that is what Danhausen calls a treat. Trick is on those other two.”
Joe:
“Oh, my. This could get interesting.”
Su Yung & Holidead vs. Angelina Love & Miranda GordyA sideslam and spinebuster by Holidead has Angelina reaching for the early tag but she comes up short. Darkness Falls by Holidead but Angelina’s foot is on the ropes. Su Yung tags in. Su gets some shots in but Angelina reverses with a shoulder block off the ropes. Su evades an attack and Angelina ends up on the floor. Su back in charge. Angelina with a Codebreaker. Cover for two. Love tags out to Gordy. Powerbomb on Yung for a two count. Miranda unloads on Su. Samoan Drop. Cover for two. Angelina is back in with a Samoan Drop of her own. Lights Out, Botox Injection! Yung’s shoulder up at two. Miranda tags in. Su fires back and makes the tag to Holidead. Miranda and Holi slug it out and Gordy goes into the ring post. Holidead then attacks Miranda with a steel chair and earns her team a disqualification. Holi doesn’t seem to care and laughs like a loon.
Danhausen:
“Disqualification? Disqualification?! Danhausen didn’t say there were rules. Argh.”
Winners: Angelina Love & Miranda Gordy
Joe:
“Ok, let’s talk a moment about something coming up later in the show and that’s the Masquerade Scramble. Six competitors will enter the ring wearing a Halloween mask. From there, eliminations occur when a wrestlers mask is removed, revealing their true identity. The winner is the last entrant still wearing their mask. And the prize will be a special treat.”Danhausen:
“Yes!! A title shot for the championship belt or trophy cup or what have you. A handsome plaque perhaps.”Joe:
“Ahh, it’s supposed to be for a chance at a roster spot. That’s how’ve been doing these scrambles.”Danhausen:
“Is this Danhausen’s Halloween party or Joe-Ralphie’s Halloween party? The prize is for gold!”Joe:
“Um, all right. I guess we can do that instead…”Danhausen:
“Danhausen guesses he won’t have to curse you then.”Joe:
“Ulp.”During this discussion, Swoggle has sneaked up to the candy bowl again. He goes to take another piece and Danhausen has had enough.
Danhausen:
“Hey!! Stop that!!”Swoggle panics and starts grabbing handfuls of candy and shoves them into his pockets before scurrying back to where the rest of BTTS are seated.
Danhausen:
“Did you see that, Joe-Ralphie?! What an obnoxious little man. Danhausen has something for him. Danhausen will put a curse on him. Just a small one.”Joe:
“Oh, is it Swoggle who’s getting the curse tonight?”Danhausen:
“No, no, no. Danhausen has lots of curses for everyone.”Joe:
“I don’t like the sound of that.”Danhausen stands up and shuffles towards where Swoggle is hiding out. He tries coaxing Swoggle out from behind Chris Masters.
"Hey where'd Matt go?" Masters asks Brian Myers. (Swoggle tries getting his attention.)
"I dunno," Myers responds looking around. (Not noticing Swoggle gesturing to him.) Swoggle shakes his head each time Danhausen attempts to get him to come out.
Danhausen:
“Hey, buddy. You sure like candy don’t you?”Swoggle eyes Danhausen suspiciously.
Danhausen:
“Do you like other kinds of treats?”Swoggle thinks a moment then enthusiastically nods his head.
Danhausen:
“What do you say you go down to the ring and Danhausen will bring out a special treat for you. Does that sound good?”Swoggle thinks a moment more and is agreeable.
Danhausen:
“Ok. Danhausen is going to sit back down and you go get that treat.”Danhausen returns to the commentary table and Swoggle makes his way down to the ring.
Danhausen:
“Eat all of Danhausen's candy will you.”Joe:
“Uh oh.”Swoggle stands in the ring looking around expectantly. Danhausen stands and proclaims :
”A curse on you, you greedy boy!”
Out of the entrance comes mini lucha powerhouse Demus. Swoggle’s jaw drops. As Demus approaches, Swoggle looks to escape but, after a chase around ringside, the two end up between the ropes and the ref calls for the bell.
Demus vs. SwoggleJoe:
“So this is Swoggle’s treat is it?”Danhausen:
“No. It’s Danhausen’s treat.”Swoggle catches Demus with a big body slam and goes to the second rope for a jumping smash. Scaling the buckles again - senton bomb. Up again - Tadpole Splash. Demus rolls out of the way! Demus puts his offense into gear and sticks Swoggle with a heavy spear. Swoggle rolls out of the ring to get his wind back. Demus comes out after him and gets matador-ed into the post. Swoggle in control. German suplex. Goes to the ropes, Demus reverses and plows over him. Demus takes his prone opponent by each leg and motions to stomp him below the belt. The ref tries waving him off. Demus looks up to Danhausen in the commentary position. By this time, the BBTS crew have noticed what is going on and are distraught over Swoggle's predicament. Danhausen stands and renders his judgement - thumbs down. Demus takes his cue and stomps Swoggle’s groin. The ref disqualifies Demus.
Winner: Swoggle
The BTTS guys have a fit. Chris Masters complains to Joe and Brian Myers gets in Danhausen’s face.
“What the hell was that?! What makes you think you can treat our friend like that? You freak.”Danhausen’s eyes go wide and he fixes them on Myers. He slowly raises his hand and points it at Brian.
“Cursed! You are cursed!”Masters stops arguing with Joe and turns with an alarmed expression. Danhausen stands with his chest puffed out and Myers looks at him like he’s crazy.
“What? What’s your problem?”Myers looks to Masters who has a grimace on his face.
“What?” Myers exclaims.
“I think you just stepped in it, dude.”Master shakes his head and motions for them to head down to the ring to help out their buddy.
Joe:
“I think I need to keep you around.”Danhausen:
“Keep giving Danhausen human money and Danhausen will be around.”
Larry comes back to the ring and introduces Tony Deppen, then Jack Cartwheel. Larry announces that this will be a Scream In The Dark match.
Joe:
“What do you have in store for these two?”Danhausen:
“Oh, this will be good.”Larry explains that at any time during the match, if a wrestler leaves the ring, the lights will go out. Larry pauses for effect. Deppen gets testy.
Larry continues:
“When the lights go out, then you will be at the mercy of the MAD MAN!!"Madman Fulton comes out brandishing a hatchet and starts stalking around the ring. He stops at the hard camera side and pulls a pair of night vision goggles down over his eyes and laughs, swinging the hatchet around. Deppen is horrified. Cartwheel’s jaw is visibly trembling.
Joe:
“Are you kidding me?”Danhausen:
“It’s not really Halloween if you don't have an ax wielding maniac.”Joe:
“I thought you were giving these guys a treat.”Danhausen:
“It said tricks and treats for all, Joe-Ralphie. Why doesn’t anyone understand this?”Scream In the Dark MatchTony Deppen vs. Jack CartwheelDeppen and Cartwheel circle each other, both wary of the looming Fulton pacing ringside like a hungry predator. Tony attacks first, slamming into Jack with corner double knees. This sets up a springboard Codebreaker. Cover for two. Running Knee Strike. Cover and pin! Tony hops up laughing and pointing in Danhausen’s direction. The crowd starts booing the match not living up to the build. Madman Fulton looks most disappointed of all. The camera cuts to Danhausen who is fuming at the commentary table. He slowly stands, focusing on the mocking Deppen down in the ring. Without a word, Danhausen raises his arms and brings them down again. Blackout. Shrieks and shouts from the crowd. There is an aural commotion with banging and thumping. Screams that could be attributed to Deppen. Silence. The lights come back on. Tony Deppen is slumped in the ring, an aluminum garbage can over his head and upper body. The can is dented and crumpled with gouges cut into it. Fulton’s hatchet is still buried in the metal side of the container. There are some gasps from the fans, also echoed by Joe.
“My God.” There is some satisfaction on Danhausen’s face. Jack Cartwheel gets to his feet, looks around and sees the wreck of Tony Deppen. Jack looks frightened at first as he takes it in but soon laughter starts to gurgle up. Whether it’s from his relief or to spite Deppen, the peals of mirth burst out. Then the lights go out again.
There are smacking sounds and the resonance of a body hitting the canvas. Struggling. Then the unmistakable sound of chair shots so familiar to all in attendance. After a moment of quiet, the lights go back up. More horror as Jack Cartwheel is dangling from the ring, his feet tied up between the bottom and middle rope. His arms drape down towards the floor and there is a mangled steel chair wrapped around his neck. Ring crew rush out to attend to Deppen and Cartwheel as the camera cuts back to Joe and Danhausen.
Joe:
“That was… disturbing."Danhausen:
“Ah ha! Result!”
Winner: Tony Deppen
Cut to Alex Kane backstage looking through his gym bag. Getting a little more frantic, he begins tossing items aside.
“Where’s my mask?” He looks up.
“Someone stole my mask!”
Joe:
“Alright, folks, it’s time for the Masquerade Scramble!”
One by one, the participants come down the aisle. They all wear body suits and a Halloween mask.
Joe:
“There we have our first participant - Dracula.”
Danhausen:
“Hmm. He seems to be stealing Danhausen’s gimmick. Maybe a curse is in order.”
Joe:
“Please, Danhausen, no more curses!”
Danhausen:
“Ah, that Wolfman looks a little chubby. Ooo, a Skeleton. Very scary.”
Joe:
“The last man wearing a mask will be our winner…”
Danhausen:
“...and go on to claim the gold!”
Joe:
“Yes… um, in a manner of speaking.”
Masquerade Scramble
Dracula vs. Frankenstein vs. Wolfman vs. Mummy vs. Skeleton vs. Jack-O'-LanternThe six combatants tentatively size each other up, then someone makes a move and a brawl ensues. Dracula whips Skeleton into the corner where Jack-O'-Lantern is. Jack ducks a lariat and tries to grab Skeleton who reverses with a powerslam. Jack escapes a pin attempt after a combination of moves. Skeleton goes to the top rope. Mummy tries to stop him but gets kicked away. Flying elbow drop hits Jack who rolls out of the ring. Skeleton turns his attention to Mummy. Tornado DDT and Mummy rolls out of the ring. Skeleton is on a rampage and goes after Wolfman. Emerald Tiger Driver! Skeleton reaches for Wolfman’s mask - it’s...
Jimmy Lloyd!
Wolfman is eliminated.Mummy tries to take Skeleton down but gets reversed and slammed to the mat with a uranage. Emerald Tiger Driver on Mummy! Kick out. Spinning heel kick and Mummy is down. Skeleton rips at the mask - it’s...
PJ Hawx!
Mummy is eliminated.Skeleton turns and sees Dracula who is trying to avoid the action. Skeleton grabs for him but gets a chin breaker for his effort. The two trade shots but Skeleton is on a roll. He hits multiple maneuvers but they have less effect on the bigger Dracula who ends up bailing to the floor. Skeleton goes after him and continues to dish out the punishment. Skelton goes for the mask but Dracula escapes. Dracula moves in Jack-O'-Lantern’s direction but Jack and Frankenstein tangle. Curb Stomp by Frankenstein and the mask comes off - Jack-O’-Lantern is...
Tre’ Lamar!
Jack-O’-Lantern is eliminated.The remaining three lunge and feint, trying to catch someone off guard. Frankenstein attacks Dracula but gets jumped from behind by Skeleton. Frankenstein gets hammered but avoids getting his mask taken. Frank and Skeleton go back and forth while Dracula bides his time. Frank locks in a deep single crab and tries reaching back for his opponents mask but gets brushed away. Frankenstein hits a doctor bomb backbreaker, leaving Skeleton open to be unmasked - it’s...
Bryan Keith!
Skeleton is eliminated.Dracula tries a sneak attack but Frank is ready. Neither monster-masked adversary can get the upper hand until Dracula scores with a big flapjack. He reaches for Frankenstein's mask but is fought off. Dracula continues the beat down, taking his man out to the floor and slamming him face-first into the barricade. Drac gets another grip on the mask but Frank again avoids being revealed. Viscous facewash against the barricade. The mask is coming off - no! Dracula is showing frustration. Back in the ring, Dracula pummels away and hits a very familiar Jumping Leg Lariat. Frankenstein is done. The mask is off...
Kevin Ku!
Frankenstein is eliminated.Dracula jubilantly raises his hands in the air and drops to his knees. Nodding his head he looks around, knowing the crowds anticipation of learning his identity. He dramatically pulls the hood off - it’s...
Matt Cardona!
The crowd boos and Joe can’t help but voice his displeasure:
“That is not who was scheduled to be in that match."Danhausen is nonplussed:
“Very sneaky. Danhausen likes his style.”
Winner: Dracula
Brian Myers congenially approaches Danhausen at the announcers table.
"Danhausen. Hey buddy. I’ve got something for you." He hands Danhausen a limp money bag. Danhausen is skeptical and looks inside. He turns the bag upside down and empties the contents out on the table. There are a couple of bills and a few coins. He looks at Myers and goes to counting the money.
"$3.58? You insult Danhausen." "That’s all the cash I had. Do you take debit?" "Danhausen only takes real monies. Or maybe bitcoin.""Well, I mean, what can I do to lift this curse? Is there anything else you want?"Danhausen does not say a word nor even look at him. He just stares straight ahead, reaches into his coat and pulls out a pair of pliers and sets them on the table and, still not looking, slides them in Myers direction.
"What's this?"
Danhausen then pulls out the jar of teeth and sets it on the table.
"What?!"
Joe tries to explain and Myers yells at him: "I know what that means!!"Myers retreats and rejoins Matt Cardona.
"Is this curse thing real? I don't know what to do.""Oh, it's real," Matt replies. "
You gotta do something. You gotta do what you have to do."Myers, distraught, wanders off. Matt seems amused.
Ironbeast come to the ring. Then Chris Masters comes out and pauses and grins, waiting to reveal his mystery partner. A woman joins him, looking like a cross between Lily Munster and a rockabilly chick. They are soon joined by a sinister, hulking man with piercing eyes. Masters nods his head confidently.
Joe:
“Is that…? It is! That’s Kevin Thorn and Shelly Martinez!”Dan:
“Danhausen’s kind of people.”
Chris Master & Kevin Thorn w/Shelly Martinez vs. IronbeastShane Mercer charges at the bell, attacking Thorn in his corner. Thorn brushes it off and lays into Mercer. Shane fights back but Thorn is undeniable. Mercer is lifted high in the air and comes down hard from a Thorn Flapjack. Master’s handpicked ringer sets Mercer up for Original Sin. Near fall. Masters tags in. The Masterpiece tosses Mercer around until Shane reverses with a big slam of his own. KTB makes the tag. Ironbeast drive Masters into the mat with a Powerbomb & Bridging German Suplex. Chris barely kicks out. KTB continues to work on Masters until Chris catches a pump kick and gives KTB an inverted atomic drop. Masters makes the cover. Two count. Thorn is tagged back in. Original Sin on KTB. KTB gets a foot on the ropes to break the pin attempt. Thorn tries to intimidate the ref with an evil stare. KTB is taking a beating as Thorn cuts off his attempts to tag out. Original Sin again. Kick out. Masters is back in. A pair of standing leg drops by Chris and he goes for the cover. Mercer makes the save! KTB is in a bad way as Masters keeps bringing the pain. Masters sends KTB into the ropes but doesn’t see the hidden tag by Mercer. Masters is on the receiving end of an assisted suplex powerbomb by Ironbeast. Mercer is fired up. Shane tosses the 260 lb. Masters like it’s nothing. Masters bails out of the ring. Mercer pursues and again tosses Masters with ease, this time into the chained-link fence that comprises the barricade to the upper tier seats. Ironbeast take out Masters again with their Deadlift Powerbomb & Bridging German Suplex combo. Shelly Martinez gets on the apron and distracts the referee from the count. As she seductively has the refs attention, Mercer gets pissed and grabs the official by the collar, reminding him of his duties. Masters is still at Ironbeast’s mercy as KTB tags back to complete a Gif Plex & powerbomb combo on him. Somehow Masters kicks out. KTB misses a BeastSault and Chris is able to make it to his corner. Thorn and KTB knock each other about but KTB gets on a roll and punctuates it with a Beasthammer, nearly pinning Thorn. Mercer and Thorn go back and forth in a slugfest that goes to the floor. Fans scatter as Shane gets tossed into the first few rows of chairs. Mercer bounces back and, incredibly, gets Thorn up for Moonsaultnbattery. KTB reenters and gets smashed by Thorn’s cane. Kyle the Beast is busted open! Thorn goes for the easy pin but the ref is immobilized by Mercer’s hand on his shoulder. KTB amazingly kicks out after another Original Sin and gets to his corner. It’s Mercer and Thorn down the stretch with a hard hitting exchange. Thorn with The Crucifix and Original Sin back to back takes it home. Thorn with the three count on Mercer brings this epic clash to an end.
Winners: Chris Masters & Kevin Thorn
Brian Myers approaches the announce position again. He soberly looks at Danhausen and picks up the jar of teeth and rattles it.
"But my teeth," Myers says to no one in particular. Danhausen looks up at him expectantly with a morose expression.
"No. No, I can’t do it. Screw your curse, man."
Danhausen suddenly stands up glaring and points in an evil pose. Myers backs away. Danhausen continues to advance, still pointing. In this way, he backs Myers down to the ring area. He stops and raises his hands as if summoning. The lights flicker and flash. A masked brute bursts into the ringside area.
Joe:
“Oh my God! Oh my God! Danhausen has unleashed... Mil Muertes! The curse is about to be fulfilled!"Myers circles around the ring, trying to avoid the monster breathing down his neck. Myers tries to leave but Madman Fulton appears with his hatchet and blocks the entrance ramp. He is soon joined by fellow Godz of Destruction members Ironbeast who also have hatchets. The rest of Been To the Show attempt to come down through the stands but the hatchet-wielding trio ward them off and station themselves to prevent further incursion from Myers’ stablemates. Danhausen beckons Myers to enter the ring. Brian girds himself and gets ready to meet his fate.
The Curse of DanhausenMil Muertes vs. Brian Myers
At the bell, Myers surprises Muertes with a dropkick and goes to the top rope for a flying clothesline. High knee and STO by Myers. Cover. No count! Myers stays on his opponent. Lifting DDT for a two count. Spear!! Kick out. To the top rope again. Dive. Muertes catches Myers and powerslams him. Two count. Muertes takes Myers to the floor but Brian shoves a fan out of their chair and uses it on Mil. Myers gains some momentum but gets stopped short by a jarring power bomb. Myers hangs in there through and comes back with another Spear. One! Meanwhile, BTTS have broken through the line and get past GoD. Myers hits another Spear and makes the cover. The other three members of BTTS pile on top holding the monster Muertes down. The ref hesitates but Shelly Martinez pushes him down and orders him to count. Muertes is pinned! Danhausen is jumping up and down at ringside, losing his mind. BTTS gather on the floor to celebrate but it is short-lived as Muertes takes up a chair and starts smashing everything in sight, including the GoD guys, making his way toward those who wronged him. His targets clear out and make a hasty retreat out of the arena.
Winner: Brian MyersAs Joe begins to sign off, a furious Danhausen interrupts and directs his full evil presence at the camera.
"Danhausen was cheated! Going to the Show - you haven’t heard the end of this!"
