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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:51:11 GMT -5
UltraMantis Black Update
My devoted followers, I, the great UltraMantis Black, have been doing some pondering. I have decided that having accomplished all of my goals in Chikara that the time has come for me to step away from the ring. Effective immediately, I have retired from Professional Wrestling. I will not become a manager or announcer, even though I would be excellent in the role. Instead I will go back to the Black Tea Garden and contemplate the mysteries of life. I thank you for your devotion, have a pleasant existence.
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:51:50 GMT -5
Card 52: June, Week 4
We are still stunned by the announcement of retirement by UltraMantis Black. We’re told Dieter VonSteigerwalt has invited Johnny Saint to join the regular Chikara Roster as his replacement, but Saint could not be here until next week. We don’t know anything else about Mantis’ shocking announcement than what we’ve already heard from him. We’ll keep with this story in weeks to come.
But we have a Grand Championship Match here tonight! El Generico finally gets the shot he earned some two months ago. All of Chikara hangs on edge to see who will be the Grand Champion after tonight.
Shane Matthews vs. Archibald Peck with Veronica: We haven’t seen Peck in a while. This will be the first time these two meet. Peck dominated and won his return with a Drumroll!
Tag Team Match
The Colony vs. Los Ice Creams: El Hijo Del Ice Cream used repeated COLD STONE STUNNERs on Soldier Ant to pick up the first win for Los Ice Creams!
Jakob Hammermeier vs. Hallowicked: Jakob started off in control but a GRAVEYARD SMASH out of nowhere got the win for Hallowicked!
Grizzly Redwood vs. Green Ant: Green Ant persevered through 4 WOOD CHIPPERs but fell to the Little Boot! Grizzly stays undefeated in singles action, he’s bound to be in the contenders block next month.
Colt Cabana vs. Claudio Castagnoli: Colt holds a win over Claudio, so Claudio is certainly looking for revenge. This is Colt’s first match back since his suspension. Leonard Chikarason stood by the suspension, but many fans feel he, Danielson, and Sweeney took the first real action against the BDK. Colt managed minimal offense but was brutalized by Claudio’s power attack. Claudio got the win after a diving European uppercut!
Tag Team Match
Quack ‘N’ Jig vs. Team FIST: Quackenbush & Jigsaw have been having a rough year in both singles and tag team action. They scored a big win last week and look to keep things going against FIST here tonight. The two heroes dominated Gargano in the early going. Taylor made the hot tag and cleaned house and used an OMEGA DRIVER to drop Quackenbush for the win! A real disappointment for Quack ‘N’ Jig.
Eddie Kingston vs. Pinkie Sanchez with Jakob Hammermeier: We haven’t seen Pinkie in a while either. Tough break making his return against Kingston, but he brought Jakob for back up. To everyone’s surprise Sanchez wrestled a clean match and dominated Kingston. He picked up the win after a second BURNING SNICKLEFRITZ!
Main Event: Grand Championship Match
El Generico vs. Brodie Lee [C]: Brodie Lee seems annoyed with El Generico’s pre-match antics and the chants from the crowd. Bryce Remsburg gets things under control and calls for the start of the match. Brodie completely shut down Generico’s speed with his power. He repeatedly used big power moves to wear Generico down. A second BIG BOOT bought him the win! Brodie Lee looked unstoppable in this match. Who can dethrone this giant!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:52:07 GMT -5
Mike Quackenbush Update
Ladies and gentlemen of the Chikarmy, I don’t know what is going on with UltraMantis Black but I promise you I will find out. It is my belief the battle with the BDK can only be won if UltraMantis recovers the Eye of Tyr from Ares. I will see that that happens. Until then, take heart that I will be facing Claudio Castagnoli this week in a rare one on one match between the two of us. I will lead the charge for Chikara and the BDK will know who they have dealt with when I am through with them.
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:52:24 GMT -5
Card 53: July, Week 1
Johnny Saint vs. Kobald with The Dark Menace: The fans were happy to see Johnny saint return. He put on a clinic before Kobald mounted some offense and hit the TOP ROPE SEATED SENTON for the win!
Ares vs. Fire Ant: 3 straight BEACH BREAKs, making a total of 5 in the match, got Fire Ant his first singles win of the year!
Tag Team Match
Team 3.0 vs. The Batiri with The Dark Menace: A solid tag contest with lots of counters and double teams. Parker pinned Obariyon with a FLASH ROLL-UP for 3.0’s first win as a Tag Team and Parker’s first win in Chikara!
Chuck Taylor vs. Larry Sweeney: Sweet ‘N’ Sour Larry Sweeney made his return from suspension in a losing effort to Chuck Taylor. Taylor used a jumping big boot to secure the win.
Grizzly Redwood vs. Gregory Iron: These two were incredibly evenly matched. Redwood seemed to maybe have the light edge, but Iron would not give up. After a HANDICAPPED PARKING, Iron hit a springboard front shin flip to the floor and pulled Grizzly back in the ring for the pin!Gregory Iron has given Grizzly Redwood his first singles loss in Chikara!
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Mike Quackenbush: After an early beating Quackenbush rallied to deliver a series of QUACKENDRIVERS but Claudio continued to escape. Quack went to the top and hit a big dropkick, but Claudio got hooked in the ropes. Quack looked to be trying to free him when referee Derek Sabbato called for the bell, disqualifying Quack for not breaking while his opponent was in the ropes! Quack was furious and pleaded with Sabbato unsuccessfully.
Pinkie Sanchez with Jakob Hammermeier vs. Bryan Danielson: Like a man possessed, Pinkie got his second straight upset win! 3 BURNING SNICKLRITZes put Danielson down for the count!
Main Event: Campeonatos de Parejas Match
The Osirian Portal vs. Incoherence [C]: First Fall: A frantic first fall. Hallowicked pinned Ophidian after a GO 2 SLEEPY HALLOW!
Second Fall: Hallowicked submitted to the DEATH GRIP!
Third Fall: Frightmare pinned Amasis after a top rope splash!
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:04:17 GMT -5
Event Center
Bryce Remsburg: Hello, Chikara Fans. We have a huge week of action coming up at our next Chikara event. All kinds of happenings are going on. After the odd disqualification this week in the match between Claudio Castagnoli and Mike Quackenbush, Quackenbush has requested a return match with Claudio to be contested under no disqualification rules. Here is “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush.
Mike Quackenbush: Claudio, I’m starting to thing Referee Derek Sabbato is in the back pocket of the BDK. So our next match will be no disqualification and there will be a clear winner between us. And fans in the Chikarmy, I am still seeking UltraMantis Black. I will not forget or give up until he is back in a Chikara Ring.
Bryce: Further to that announcement, Dieter VonSteigerwalt has said the winner between Quack and Claudio will be granted a non-Title match against Grand Champion Brodie Lee the following week. And speaking of our Grand Champion, he needs a Challenger for July. Former Champion and current number one ranked competitor, Sara Del Rey, has asked to be that Challenger. Dieter VonSteigerwalt has put her in a Number One Contender’s Match against number three ranked competitor, El Generico. Sara has been in a bit of a slump since losing the Grand Championship, and actually lost her last singles match to El Generico. It will be interesting to see who can win this match and be placed in the Challengers Corner for July.
And finally, in huge news, our Main Event on the next show will be two young up and comers. The BDK’s Pinkie Sanchez only won two matches in all of year one, but has recently been on a hot streak. Having beaten Eddie Kingston and Bryan Danielson back to back he is currently ranked number five in Chikara. Ranked a bit lower at number eleven is newcomer and crowd favorite Gregory Iron. You’ll remember Iron won two huge matches against the BDK, beating Claudio Castagnoli in a singles match and pinning Daizee Haze in a two on one match where Daizee teamed with Sara Del Rey. Dieter VonSteigerwalt has put these two young sensations in the Main Event to see who can handle the pressure. Let’s hear from Pinkie Sanchez.
Pinkie Sanchez: You all doubted me. You laughed at my record last year, when I finished the year in the bottom 5. Well who’s laughing now? Not Eddie Kingston. Not Bryan Danielson. And Gregory Iron won’t be laughing either, when I drop him on his head with the Burning Snicklefritz and get the 1-2-3. And then… Then I make the BDK proud. Because it’s only a matter of time before I’m facing Brodie Lee for the Grand Championship.
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:06:05 GMT -5
Card 54: July, Week 2
Green Ant vs. Daizee Haze: Green Ant used a CLOVERLEAF to get his first win of the year. Green Ant did not immediately break the hold, and Sara Del Rey ran to Daizee’s rescue. First she kicked Green Ant in the face to break the hold then dropped him with the ROYAL BUTTERFLY! Sara carried Daizee from the ring. Green Ant is hurt for 2 cards.
Ares vs. Johnny Saint: Ares could not keep Saint down for a pin, but did manage to throw him from the ring for a countout win.
Tag Team Match
The Throwbacks vs. Los Ice Creams: A hard fought match. Los Ice Creams aren’t big winners, but always prove tough to put down. After a mix of big moves Sugar finally pinned El Hijo Del Ice Cream after an AIR DUNKERTON!
Icarus vs. Larry Sweeney: Sweeney pulled off the comeback with a 12 LARGE ELBOW DROP!
Number One Contender’s Match
El Generico vs. Sara Del Rey: The Sara of old returned as she destroyed El Generico. Generico mounted almost no offense and was repeatedly kicked, powerbombed, and suplexed before falling a second ROYAL BUTTERFLY! Sara and the BDK capture another chance at regaining the Grand Championship.
Tag Team Match
Team FIST vs. Team 3.0: 3.0 managed to hang even with the always on their game Team FIST. After an even match Gargano was surprised by a FLASH ROLL-UP and Parker got the win!
No Disqualification Match
Mike Quackenbush vs. Claudio Castagnoli: The crowd was with Quackenbush, but it wasn’t enough. Claudio’s power and an eventual RICOLA BOMB was all he needed to keep “Lightning” down for the 3. Claudio will face Brodie Lee next week in a Non-Title Match.
Main Event
Gregory Iron vs. Pinkie Sanchez: Sanchez totally dominated and won in minutes with a BURNING SNICKLEFRITZ!
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:07:45 GMT -5
Card 55: July, Week 3
Fightmare vs. Johnny Gargano: A second KNEECOLEPSY got Frightmare the win in the opening contest.
Hallowicked vs. Archibald Peck with Veronica: An easy win for Hallowicked by GRAVEYARD SMASH!
Tag Team Match
Team 3.0 vs. The Colony: Two fan favorite teams here. If 3.0 wins they will have earned 3 points. The Ants isolated Shane Matthews with double teams and two BEACH BREAKs for the win. All 4 men shook hands after the match.
Chuck Taylor vs. Larry Sweeny: Another big win for Sweeney by 12 LARGE ELBOW DROP!
Pinkie Sanchez vs. Jigsaw: Jigsaw ended Pinkie’s dominant streak after Sanchez missed a clothesline in the corner and Jigsaw rolled him up for the pin! A big win for Jigsaw, Sanchez is furious.
Tag Team Match
The Throwbacks vs. Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze: The Throwbacks took the BDK girls to the limit. Sara put the beat down on Sugar Dunkerton, but he continued to kick out. After the two fell to the floor, Daizee surprised the fresh Dasher Hatfield with a MIND TRIP for the win!
Eddie Kingston vs. Delirious: Neither man could dominate, but a second BIZARRO DRIVER got Delirious the win. Kingston continues his slump.
Main Event: Non-Title Match
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brodie Lee [C]: What’s the strategy here? Does Castagnoli want to hurt Brodie Lee to set up a BDK win next week? Does he just want to prove his dominance? Does he care either way? Claudio used two RICOLA BOMBs to dominate and eventually pin the Grand Champion! Brodie Lee mounted almost no offense in the match. Claudio needed this performance last month, but he just proved he can beat Brodie Lee.
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:08:41 GMT -5
Event Center
Bryce Remsburg: Hello, Chikara Fans, we have big news for you today. The Chikara Board of Directors has mandated a new Championship be created to showcase some of the younger, undercard talent here in Chikara. That Championship will be called The Young Lions Cup, and the month of August will feature a Tournament to crown the first Champion. We will get you the names of the competitors as we have them. The first known entrant is Gregory Iron. The rookie sensation has been making name for himself in Chikara, and he could be the first Young Lions Cup Champion. Let’s hear from him.
Gregory Iron: Wow! A chance at Chikara Gold! I want to thank Chikara for giving its young talent an opportunity like this. A lot of people say I’m an inspiration. I appreciate that. So I would ask you, great Chikara fans, to get behind Gregory Iron as he enters the Young Lions Cup Tournament.
Bryce: More competitors will be announced as soon as possible.
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:11:44 GMT -5
Mike Quackenbush Update
We see UltraMantis Black meditating near a fountain in a room filled with candles and incense. The quite is broken by shouting.
Voice 1: You cannot see him!
Voice 2: Don’t tell me I can’t see him. I’m on a mission, here. I’m trying to save my wrestling company!
Mantis: Eh?
Voice 1: He is very close to attaining inner peace.
Voice 2 (now recognized as Mike Quackenbush): Inner peace, inner schmeesh! My wrestling company is overrun with Norse invaders!
Mantis (getting up from his mat): Let him in, Lui. I’ll see him.
Quack (walking in the room with a monk dutifully fixing his disheveled clothes): There you are! You know how long it took to find you?
Lui: So sorry, Mister Quackenbush.
Quack: Yeah, yeah. You’re trying to do your job, I’m trying to do mine.
Mantis: What have you come for, Mister Mike Quackenbush?
Quack: What have I come for? How could you retire? You know Ares and the whole BDK are laughing at you?
Mantis: I have put such trifles behind me. Here in the black tea garden I can become one with the…
Quack blasts Mantis with a palm strike!
Quack: Snap out of it man! I didn’t come halfway around the world… say, where are we anyway? I didn’t come wherever we are just to hear you sell me a line about inner peace. You must win the Eye of Tyr back from Ares. If not Delirious will remain under his control and the BDK will never be stopped. You made this mess; you need to clean it up!
Mantis: Oh, Michael. If you would join me here you would see how unimportant such things truly are. Do you know that I have learned 5 paths to enlightenment in my short time here?
Quack: I don’t really have to palm strike you again, do I? The first ever Young Lions Cup starts soon. I have it on good authority the BDK are entering 2 competitors. Del Rey may get the Grand Championship back. Donst is coming back. Delirious is Ares’ private hit man. They control the Director of Fun. THEY ARE GETTING STRONGER! And we have to stop them. And I need your help, loath as I am to admit it.
Mantis: I am uninterested. You said what you came to say, please leave.
Quack turns around to leave, stops, and glances back.
Quack: I would have never thought it. The great UltraMantis Black reduced to a New Age yuppie. What, are you scared of success? You’re a super villain, for Pete’s sake. You wanted to conquer Chikara for years. Now someone else has done it before you, better than you, and you’re just going to let it happen? I thought you were made of sterner stuff. I thought you were a better archenemy than that. Diabolical evil insectoid, what a joke. I thought you were Lex Luthor, not Paste Pot Pete. Fine, stay here with your meditation. I’ve got to go battle Ares and the BDK, they are getting the job done that the NEO SOLAR TEMPLE failed to do for years. Goodbye, UltraMantis…
Quack walks out of the room leaving UltraMantis Black standing silently alone.
Mantis: I always thought of myself as a Black Manta type.
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Post by talison on Nov 26, 2012 12:13:57 GMT -5
Card 56: July, Week 4
We head towards the Young Lions Cup next month with a blockbuster main event. Sara Del Rey gets her first shot at the Grand Championship since having lost the Title to Brodie Lee.
El Hijo Del Ice Cream vs. Sugar Dunkerton: After an opening flurry by Dunkerton, El Hijo Del Ice Cream dominated with trickery and ended up winning by countout. It was Ice Cream’s first singles win. Afterward, Sugar asked for a mic.
Sugar Dunkerton: I thank all of you for supporting me, for cheering for me. I’m sorry I lost again. Truth is I haven’t won a singles match all year. I feel beat down and hurting. I feel like a failure. I’ve had some success in tag team matches with my buddy, Dasher Hatfield, but I’m not having a good year. I’m planning on changing that next month. I am hereby entering the Young Lions Cup, and I’m gonna prove to you all that Sugar Dunkerton is a force to be reckoned with!
Dasher Hatfield vs. Kobald with The Dark Menace: Hatfield had trouble putting Kobald away and for the first time The Dark Menace interfered for one of his wrestlers. Kobald capitalized with a pin attempt but couldn’t keep Hatfield down. Kobald missed a dive from the top and Hatfield got the win.
Tag Team Match
Team 3.0 vs. The Batiri with The Dark Menace: A BLOCKBUSTER on Parker got The Batiri the win in a solid tag match.
Ares vs. Larry Sweeney: Sweeney gets the dominant win with a second 12 LARGE ELBOW DROP!
Tursas vs. Brian Danielson: Tursas has never looked weaker. He landed no offense and tapped out quickly to the CATTLE MUTILATION!
As both teams come to the ring for the next match the announcers tell us that Green Ant and Johnny Gargano are both in the Young Lions Cup.
Tag Team Match
The Colony vs. Team FIST: Another solid tag match between these rival teams. Gargano used a slingshot spear on Soldier Ant for the win.
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Jigsaw: Castagnoli totally dominated the match. Jigsaw escaped the RICOLA BOMB but was pinned after a gut wrench German suplex.
Main Event: Grand Championship Match
Sara Del Rey vs. Brodie Lee [C]: Brodie Lee mounted no offense, as everything he tried was reversed by Sara. Within a minute Sara hit a powerbomb for the win! The BDK has recaptured the Grand Championship! Brodie Lee has been dethroned! Sara Del Rey is your Chikara Grand Champion.
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