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Post by talison on Aug 10, 2012 23:53:33 GMT -5
Leonard F Chikarason Update
Members of the Chikarmy, I have always enjoyed running this company. I assure you I have everything well in hand and many of my actions have held the BDK in check these last few years. But if Mike Quackenbush thinks I am in danger or that I am in need of assistance making matches, he can always reach me at my office.
Now, I have a number of announcements. In two weeks Brodie Lee will challenge Sara Del Rey for the Grand Championship. To set the stage for that match both Sara and Brodie will have tag team matches this week. Sara and her partner Daizee Haze will team against a mystery tag team. Brodie Lee will face The Osirian portal with a tag partner of his choice.
The singles division has been revamped and from now on will be split so that those ranked in the top 20 will only face each other. These wrestlers will be said to be in contention for the Grand Championship and cannot increase their ranking by getting easy wins over wrestlers not ranked in the top 20. The top 20 will be reestablished on the first of each month.
Because of this new system, rookie sensation Gregory Iron just made the top 20 with his debut win. He will get his wish of taking on the BDK by facing none other than former Grand Champion Claudio Castagnoli next week!
Jacob Hammermeier, if you want to get involved in matches so badly I’ll give you your wish. As of 12:00 PM Eastern today, you are an active member of the Chikara roster and will face Soldier Ant in your debut.
As far as my suspension of Danielson, Cabana, and Sweeney; I stand by it. Donst suffered the worst injury in Chikara history, and order must be maintained. I apologize for robbing the fans of seeing these great favorites in action.
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Post by talison on Aug 10, 2012 23:54:22 GMT -5
Card 47: May, Week 3
Gavin Loudspeaker: Big changes starting tonight by order of this man, Leonard Chikarason. Leonard, I think most of your changes are great, but GregIron vs. Castagnoli? That kids gonna get killed!
Chikarason: Don’t underestimate him, Gavin. And if Claudio tries to injure the rookie, he will be severely punished.
Johnny Gargano vs. Hallowicked: 3 straight GO
SLEEPY HOLLOWs got Hallowicked the win!
Chuck Taylor vs. Fire Ant: Taylor had no offense until surprising Fire Ant with a sunset flip for the win!
Jigsaw vs. Ice Cream Jr.: Jigsaw won with a second JIG ‘N’ TONIC, but had a hard time putting Ice Cream Jr. away for most of the match. He survived at least two Sprinkle Bombs!
Soldier Ant vs. Jacob Hammermeier with Tim Donst: Hammermeier came to the ring with Donst in a wheel chair cheering him on. Jakob didn’t look totally without merit and survived quite a beating from Soldier Ant. Donst caused a distraction at one point ut a 4th TKO finally dropped Jakob!
Tag Team Match
The Roughnecks vs. The Osirian Portal: It looks like Brodie Lee has brought his old friend Grizzly redwood to Chikara to be his partner. They call themselves The Roughnecks. The Portal actually dominated most of the match, but Brodie used repeated power moves and BIG BOOTS at the end to put Amasis down!
UltraMantis Black vs. Obariyon with The Dark Menace: A wild brawl from the start, Mantis shoved the referee on the floor while he was trying to regain control of the match. Obariyon wins by disqualification.
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Gregory Iron: The crowd was nervous for this match. Iron tried shaking Claudio’s hand, but Claudio slapped it away. Claudio took over early with Swiss Death. But Iron rebounded with a Check Up From The Neck Up and stunned Claudio with two straight HANDICAPPED PARKINGs for a huge upset win! The crowd is stunned. Claudio is stunned. Here come Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and The Colony; they are carrying Iron out on their shoulders! What a night to be a wrestling fan, you will always remember where you were when Gregory Iron beat Claudio Castagnoli!
Delirious vs. Icarus: Icarus gave up to the Cobra Stretch rather quickly. Delirious continues his winning streak
Main Event Tag Team Match
Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze vs. Team 3.0: The crowd is thrilled to see the return of Team 3.0, who once competed in Chikara as Team 2.0. This was a heated match where 3.0 could have won at any time. Sara really brutalized Matthews, but it was Daizee’s MIND TRIP on Parker that got the BDK Girls the win!
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Post by talison on Aug 10, 2012 23:54:37 GMT -5
Roughnecks Update
Brodie Lee: Chikara, all the roadblocks have been put in front of me and I’ve run through them all. I’ve dominated Tursas. I have more wins than anyone in Chikara. Now, finally I get my shot at the Grand Championship. Sara Del Rey, it’s as simple as this. I’m going to kick your head off and I’m going to be Champion. What do you think, Grizzly?
Grizzly Redwood: I think you’re going to do it, Big Rig.
BL: And you make your debut against Hallowicked. What are you going to do to that masked freak?
GR: I’m gonna chop him down!
Claudio Castagnoli Update
Wie konnte das passieren? Wie ist das wenig Ärger sogar auf dem Dienstplan Chikara? Chikarason, werden Sie für diese Frage zu beantworten. Claudio Castagnoli werde nicht zulassen, diesen Ständer. Für die Bruderschaft des Kreuzes! Ich werde mich rächen und es wird schrecklich sein!
Gregory Iron Update
I can’t believe it! It’s a dream come true. I pinned former Grand Champion Claudio Castagnoli 1-2-3! Leonard Chikarason, I want to thank you for giving me this oppertunity. I won’t let you down next week against Delirious!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:46:17 GMT -5
Card 48: May, Week 4: Aniversario!
Leonard F Chikarason: Great fans of Chikara welcome to the final event in May for this season. As Chikara has been operating one year now, this is our Aniversario! And as such we will make this a yearly event. We have a loaded card for you tonight and it will all be topped off with Sara Del Rey of the BDK defending her Chikara Grand Championship against “Big Rig” Brodie Lee!
Fire Ant vs. Daizee Haze: Daizee gets a quick win with a MIND TRIP!
Dasher Hatfield vs. Jakob Hammermeier: Dasher dominated the match but could not put Jackob away, even with a GRANDSLAM! Jakob slowly mounted a comeback. He eventually scored a pin after choking Dasher with his tie while the referee wasn’t looking.
Tag Team Match
The Osirian Portal vs. Los Ice Creams: An OSIRIAN SACRAMENT and DEATH GRIP quickly put Ice Cream Jr. down before he could tag his brother! Los Ice Creams remain winless, with 4 straight losses.
Hallowicked vs. Grizzly Redwood: Grizzly making his solo debut here. He’s dwarfed by Wicked. Grizzly strung together a series of power moves and dives to set up THE WOOD CHIPPER for the win! A dominant debut for Redwood over one half of the Campeonatos de Parejas!
Eddie Kingston vs. Icarus: Kingston destroyed Icarus and won with a SLIDING D after wo BACKFIST TO THE FUTURES!
UltraMantis Black vs. Obariyon with The Dark Menace: Obaryiyon totally dominated and got the pin after a second FLYING DDT! Obariyon looks to continuehis attack and grabs a chair when Hallowicked runs to the ring. Obariyon takes a GRAVEYARD SMASH before Mantis recovers and The Spectral Envoy members deliver a double clothesline to the Dark Army soldier. Obariyon is hurt for 2 cards.
Tag Team Match
Team 3.0 vs. Team FIST: 3.0 made an unsuccessful return last week against the Grand Champion and her partner. Let’s see if they fair better against FIST! It was all out Tag Team mayhem as all four men traded shots and finishers. After no clear winner was in sight an OMEGA DRIVER from Taylor got the pinfall over Parker! Team 3.0 remain without a win.
Delirious vs. Gregory Iron: Iron fought valiantly but lightning did not strike twice. Although he kicked out of 2 PRAYING MANTIS BOMBs, and managed to connect with HANDICAPPED PARKING, he soon fell to the BIZZARO DRIVER! The crowd gave him a standing ovation anyway, but Gregory Iron’s undefeated streak is over.
Main Event: Grand Championship Match
Brodie Lee vs. Sara Del Rey [C]: Both fighters come to the ring with their Tag Team partners, who are both sent to the back by Bryce Remsburg. Bryce is unable to get a handshake between them before the bell, and one wonders who the Chikarmy favors in this match between two terrible rudos. Fans had been cheering Sara’s incredible drive before her horrid attack on El Generico. Brodie Lee has never catered to the fans, but was cheered in Year One for toppling Tursas.
Brodie Lee almost wins with a bear hug followed by a BIG BOOT right as the match started. He followed with a second BIG BOOT but again Sara kicks out. A third BIG BOOT and again Sara kicks out. Brodie then goes to work with power moves and Sara is having no offense. She kicks out of a Black Hole Slam and then eats another BIG BOOT and still manages to escape. Brodie doesn’t change his game plan and again hits a BIG BOOT and this time he gets the win! Sara Del Rey has been dethroned! We have our first non-BDK Grand Champion! The winningest man in Chikara wins the gold!
Here comes Grizzly Redwood to celebrate. Sara is furious and is yelling at Daizee, who came to check on her. The fans don’t know what to make of this. Some of the other BDK members have come out now, but Brodie is yelling at them all in open challenge. Now Claudio is coming out with someone in a business suit.
Claudio Castagnoli: Chikarason, you’re going to find this real interesting. The Commisioner has replaced you as Director of Fun. Let me introduce the BDK Director of Fun, Dieter VonSteigerwalt!
Leonard F Chikarason (from the Comentation Station): What? What’s going on?
Dieter VonSteigerwalt: As my first act as Director of Fun I am granting Claudio Castagnoli a shot at the Grand Championship next week!
Sara Del Rey: What? What about my rematch?
Gavin Loudspeaker: What about El Generico’s shot?
Dieter: There will no longer be automatic rematches for former Champions. El Generico can reclaim his number one contender’s spot after Claudio’s match, but he must first defeat Delirious. Next week Gregory Iron will face Sara Del Rey and Daizee Haze in a Handicapped Match, if you pardon my vernacular. Also Eddie Kingston will have a Handicapped match against all three members of team FIST, and that match will be contested under elimination rules. Kingston will need to pin all three members of FIST to claim victory. More decrees will come later. The BDK looks forward to seeing you all at our next event, gute nacht!
As the technicos pour out of the locker room to protest Leonard Chikarson takes off his headset and walks sullenly to the back...
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:48:30 GMT -5
Update
Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, The Colony, Brodie Lee, and Leonard F Chikarason are in Chikarason’s office. Chikarason appears to be packing his desk into a small box.
Chikarason: At least I get to keep my announcing job. I can’t believe the board would do this. This company is my namesake. I always tried to run it fairly.
Quack: You did always run it fairly, Leonard. We just didn’t take the BDK seriously enough and now Claudio has the upper hand again.
Jigsaw: What we need to do now is stay united in the face of this threat.
Brodie Lee: Ummm… why am I here?
Quack: Because you are the Grand Champion of Chikara. Whether you side with the technicos or not, the BDK is going to make you their number one target. Don’t count on a fair fight with Claudio next week. They are going to do everything possible to get that Title back.
Brodie: Let them try. Claudio isn’t getting this strap off of me.
Chikarason: I feel so bad for the Iron kid. I should have never put him against Claudio. That amazing win was his death warrant.
Quack: That’s why you Ants are here. I’m charging The Colony with the protection of young Gregory Iron.
Soldier Ant: Sir, yes sir!
Fire Ant: Arrgghh!!!
Green Ant: We’ll do our best, Mike. We won’t let you down.
Quack: And Jigsaw and I will take the fight directly to the BDK. Now I know with a new Director of Fun I’m asking you all to do things that will risk suspension on your parts…
Jigsaw: We wouldn’t have it any other way, Quack.
Soldier Ant: Sir, yes sir!
Fire Ant: Arrgghh!!!
Green Ant: What they said.
Quack: Good. Then I’m glad I can count on you all. Remember, the Eye of Tyr is the key. I’m going to go after UltraMantis to get him to agree to take on Ares. We are about to engage in high treason against the Chikara Director of Fun. In 24 hours we will agree this meeting never happened. For Chikara!
All Technicos: For Chikara!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:48:48 GMT -5
Eddie Kingston Update
Real good, Claudio, you got yourself some power. I hope you do beat Brodie Lee for the Grand Championship, because I’m coming for you and it would be twice as sweet for the Title. You think FIST is going to slow me down? You better pray for every one of those boys. They won’t be walking straight when I’m done with them. You win you some Gold, Claudio. You shine it up nice. I’m coming for it and I’m coming for you. The BDK’s time in Chikara is done. You’re all gonna end up like Tim Donst, I’ll to that.
Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze Update
Daizee: I don’t see the problem.
Sara: I’ve never minded doing the BDK’s dirty work. We’ve achieved our goals in Chikara since joining the BDK. But it just doesn’t seem right double teaming a handicapped kid.
Daizee: He’s a competitor in Chikara. People said the same thing about men taking on women, and we proved them wrong. This needs to be done.
Sara: Do you really feel that way?
Daizee (looking around cautiously): Sara, I’m scared. I’m scared of what will happen to us if we don’t go along with this. Greg beat Claudio, he really can handle himself. We can beat him without hurting him, but we have to make it look like we are doing Claudio’s orders.
Sara: Don’t be scared, Daizee. I won’t let anything happen to you.
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:49:09 GMT -5
Card 49: June, Week 1
Leonard F Chikarason: Welcome to tonight’s Chikara event. Leonard F Chikarason, now your humble commentator only, here. We have 2 handicapped matches and a Grand Championship Match here for you tonight. Let’s get right to the action.
Ares vs. Sugar Dunkerton: Ares pinned Sugar with a flying body press from the top rope to start the night in the BDK’s favor.
Jakob Hammermeier vs. Scott Parker: A back and forth match that saw Jakob dominate with 2 “GUTEN NACHTs!” and eventually get the win off a sunset flip.
Handicapped 2 on 1 Match
Gregory Iron vs. Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze: Before anyone knew what was happening Iron reversed a throw to the corner by Dazee and followed in a clothesline. He hit a Hangman’s Kneeling Neckbreaker and HANDICAPPED PARKING and stunned both Sara and Daizee by scoring the pin immediately! Iron is running to the back for his own safety, and The Colony comes out to shield his path. It looked like Sara asked Daizee if she threw the match to which Daizee adamantly responded,”No”. That’s only Sara and Daizee’s 4th loss as a tag team.
Grizzly Redwood vs. Jigsaw: A brutal back and forth contest. Redwood survived 3 JIG ‘N’ TONICs! Jigsaw survived 6 WOOD CHIPPERs including 4 in a row! But the 7th WOOD CHIPPER got Redwood the win over the Chikarmy favorite!
Soldier Ant vs. Kodama with The Dark Menace: Soldier fought valiantly and controlled the match but ended up on the wrong end of a FLYING BLOCKBUSTER to give Kodama the win.
Handicapped 3 on 1 Elimination Match
Eddie Kingston vs. Team FIST: FIST is taking a long time to decide who will start the match. Eventually Gargano is sent in. Kingston fought valiantly and escaped the WINGS OF ICARUS and a set of F.I.S.T. Kicks! He dealt punishment to all three men. But finally an ankletrap/leg drop combination set Taylor up to get the win! It was just too much for the War King!
El Generico vs. Delirious: El Generico returns to take on the man who put him out of action over a month ago. The match was an arial display. But Delirious screwed up by attacking the referee who was trying to free Generico from the ropes. Generico wins and keeps his Number One Contender’s spot! The BDK won’t be happy with Delirious.
Main Event: Grand Championship Match
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brodie Lee [C]: Ares and Grizzly Redwood are sent to the back before the bell. You may hate Brodie Lee, but it’s sort of unfair for him to have to defend his Title the week after winning it to a man on a losing streak. Brodie went right to work with multiple BIG BOOTs and other power moves. The match spilled to the floor where Claudio and Brodie brawled. Claudio put Brodie to the ring steps and Bryce calls for the bell. Brodie Lee has retained his Championship by disqualification and Claudio is furious. Claudio is chasing Bryce to the back but here comes Mike Quackenbush! The BDK and The Colony are pouring from the locker room. Jigsaw’s out there, so is Gregory Iron. It’s all out Chikara vs. BDK warfare. Everyone’s getting some! But wait, Brodie Lee just attacked Pinkie Sanchez from behind! Now he’s laid out Jigsaw! Brodie Lee is running through every man out here. The Ants are laid out, The BDK girls are down. Only Quackenbush escaped Lee’s wrath. And the Big Rig stands tall with the Grand Championship Belt!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:49:37 GMT -5
BDK Update
We see Claudio Castagnoli berating Daizee Haze and Sara Del Rey, already in progress.
Claudio: Are you sure you didn’t throw that match?
Daizee: No! He surprised me with the reverse STO. I wasn’t even warmed up yet!
Claudio: And why didn’t you make the save?
Sara: The match had just started. I didn’t think we had to worry about the first cover of the match in the first minute of the match.
Claudio: So you simply let him beat you with that much ease?
Daizee: I didn’t think…
Sara: Hey, back off. He beat you the same way!
Claudio: Don’t ever speak of that! You… you two better shape up. You better rededicate yourself to the BDK ideal. This week you’ll both have singles matches. Daizee, you are facing Grizzly Redwood. Brodie Lee’s little friend may prove an obstacle, so take him out. And you, Sara, you face Kodama. As much as I enjoy seeing The Dark Army beat up UltraMantis Black, I don’t trust The Dark Menace. I think he has plans of his own. For the Bruderschaft!
Brodie Lee Update
All of you in Chikara and in the BDK, I am the Grand Champion! I’m tired of not getting my respect. You can all war with each other, but I’ve run over each and every one of you. I’m The Champion! And you will respect me, or I’ll leave you all lying in a pile like I did last week. So we have a new Director of Fun, I don’t care. Just give me someone’s head to kick off!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:50:10 GMT -5
Card 50: June, Week 2
UltraMantis Black vs. Johnny Gargano: Mantis won in under a minute with the PRAYING MANTIS BOMB! After the match Mike Quackenbush tried to come out and talk to Mantis, but Mantis seemed to blow him off.
Jakob Hammermeier vs. Jigsaw: Jigsaw started strong but soon took two “GUTEN NACHTs!” and was thrown to the floor where he was counted out. Jakob continues to impress.
Tag Team Match
The Throwbacks vs. The Osirian PortalThe Portal easily won with a OSIRIAN SACRAMENT on Sugar!
Grizzly Redwood vs. Daizee Haze with Jakob Hammermeier: Jakob is being allowed to stay out here, he seems to have shown the referee a manager’s license. 2 MIND TRIPs and Jakob’s interference couldn’t get it done for Daizee. She fell to a 3rd WOOD CHIPPER and Grizzly remains undefeated!
Sara Del Rey vs. Kodama with The Dark Menace: Sara went in like a machine and disassembled Kodama. The 4th ROYAL BUTTERFLY got the win!
Gregory Iron vs. Chuck Taylor: An even back and forth match, but Taylor managed a body press from the top rope to beat Gregory Iron.
Non-Title Match
Frightmare vs. Brodie Lee [C]: Frightmare dominated the match until Brodie hit a BIG BOOT and then came back to win with a half nelson superplex!
Main Event: Trios Match
Team 3.0’le vs. The BDK (Claudio Castagnoli, Tursas, & Ares): Ares and Generico never made it in the match. After Claudio brutalized Parker with a RIKOLA BOMB, Tursas took out Matthews with a Giant lariat for the BDK win!
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Post by talison on Aug 13, 2012 22:50:37 GMT -5
Card 51: June, Week 3
Shane Matthews vs. El Hijo Del Ice Cream: Both men struggled in the opening contest but Matthews finally won with a “BOSTON CRAB!”
Sugar Dunkerton vs. Ice Cream Jr.: Repeated Sprinkle Bombs were too much for Dunkerton and Junior got the win.
Tag Team Match
The Osirian Portal vs. The Batiri with The Dark Menace: Both teams are going for their 3rd point in the match. Incoherence will know their next challenger tonight. Obariyon never got in the match. Kodama took the EGYPTION CONNIPTION, OSIRIAN SACRAMENT, and finally the DEATH GRIP and quickly tapped out! Incoherence will face The Osirian Portal as their first challengers.
Dasher Hatfield vs. Johnny Gargano: Hatfield dominated and won after a Baseball Slide! Dasher gets his first singles win of the year!
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Frightmare: Under Leonard Chikarason there was a match rotation in Chikara so that everyone was given ample time to compete. It appears things have changed as Claudio keeps getting matches despite losses. Frightmare has an opening flurry but then falls to the RICOLA BOMB!
Eddie Kingston vs. Tursas: A war we’ve seen many times before. You have to think this match was made by Dieter VonSteigerwalt to put more punishment on Kingston. Kingston bled in this brutal match. Both men did great punishment to each other but a BACKFIST TO THE FUTURE got Kingston the win!
Tag Team Match
Quack ‘N’ Jig vs. The Roughnecks: Brodie Lee has shown respect for Mike Quackenbush recently, but Quack has never beaten the big man in singles action. This is the first time they meet in Tag Team action. Quack ‘N’ Jig used quick tags to dominate Grizzly Redwood. After surviving a QUACKENDRIVER IV, Redwood took a Leap of faith from Jigsaw and was pinned. Brodie looked both mad and humbled to Quack, and Quack just bowed to the big man. Redwood is no longer undefeated in Chikara.
Main Event
El Generico vs. Sara Del Ray: It’s funny how the BDK are throwing obstacles at El Generico when The Champion he will be facing isn’t even one of them. Do they really consider him such a threat? Sara survived 3 BRAINBUSTAAAHHHs!!!! But then fell to the floor and was counted out. El Generico looked great but this is not how we are accustomed to seeing Sara.
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