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Post by Pariah on Sept 17, 2017 19:28:11 GMT -5
Too bad that Styles & Daniels suffered an unfortunate loss in tag team competition... But, definitely no shame in it - Race and Bockwinkel are two of the toughest...
Totally stoked that the Black Widows made it past the opening round in the Lords of Flatbush Tournament... This deadly feminine foursome should not be taken lightly...
Also pleased that Wolf clawed out another victory as the Hardcore challenge wrestler... And big time congrats to RVD on knocking down the challenge of Kevin Steen...
Big news concerning the commissioning of two new title belts... Really looking forward to Only The Strong Survive to find out who captures the inaugural honors...
As always, the LXG delivers hard hitting action from start to finish... Awesome work!
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Post by Bri on Sept 18, 2017 7:31:58 GMT -5
Hey Pariah! Thanks very much for the kind words dude! I'm totally psyched for the Only The Strong Survive Tournaments for sure - I hope everybody enjoys them too! Those two tournaments will start as soon as The Lords Of Flatbush concludes. I was fired up to see The Black Widows advance too - The Valiants tagged out all the time but The Killer Bees at least went toe to toe with them. RVD got it done - it was a very see saw match. Steen almost did it. I have figured out a way to possibly play during my commutte - so I'm hoping it works out. Thanks amigo! |
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Post by Bri on Sept 20, 2017 20:43:50 GMT -5
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A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Month 4 - Card 3 Match Results:
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1. The Sandman vs The Wicked Monk:
----------------------------------------------------------------
After being out wrestled and counterwrestled by The Wicked Monk, (In particular by his Ninth Chamber Torture Rack); The Sandman gets desperate and presses his luck pretending he didn't hear the refs warnings as he repeatedly beat The Monk with his SINGAPORE CANE and is Disqualified. (Wicked Monk +24 Deadline -72).
2. Brodie Lee vs Solar Flair with Jack Nicholson:
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Brodie Lee comes out strong and breaks Solar Flairs face open on the ring steps but Flair mounts a comback; after Powerslamming Lee off the top turnbuckle, he kicks him in the balls and clamps on his FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK forcing Lee to submit as Jack Nicholson smiles approvingly. (Solar Flair +46 Brodie Lee -146).
3. Chris Candido with Tammy Sytch & Randy Savage vs Forever Hooligans - Alex Koslov & Mr. Azucar - Rocky Romero with The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz.:
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A see saw match that was dominated inside the ring by The Forever Hooligans by superior double teaming and tag work, and outside of the ring via brawling by Candido and Savage; but in the heat of the moment, Candido gets carried away and is Disqualified due to Suplexing Koslov into the crowd. (Forever Hooligans +66 Candido & Savage -106).
4. Exotic Adrian Street with Miss Linda vs Gorgeous George with Cherie Dupre - Double Ratings Point No Dq Feud Rematch - Purses and Beauty Products on Multiple Poles Match:
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A complete nightmare of a match where everyone was affected: 1. The bottom half of Cherie Dupre's skirt was inadvertently torn off her as it adhered to the side of Gorgeous George who was covered in Nail Glue. 2. Exotic Adrian Street almost sealed the victory with his CRUCIFIX finisher only to be hit by Dupre with a different bursting purse filled with Facial Mud. 3. Miss Linda kept trying to desperately save Street from Georges SPINNING TOE HOLD only to keep sliding and falling on her ass in the spilled mud. 4. Gorgeous George forces a muddy Adrian Street to submit to his SPINNING TOE HOLD but the two become fused together because of the glue and they both started to cry. A third tie breaking match is to be held next month of what the fans are now calling - The Benny Hill Feud. (Gorgeous George +64 Exotic Adrian Street -54).
5. Sly Drury vs Epoch - Due to homicidal pressure from Epoch - Steel Cage Match. First Wrestler To Escape The Cage Wins:
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When Sly Drury attacked Epoch before the bell and never let up the assault of Rope Walk Sledgehammers, Face Rakes Across The Cage Walls and Helicopter Side Slams he figured this was going to be a breeze, then Epoch reversed the offense for good and never looked back; after several executions of his secondary finisher THE DARK AGE - A Neckbreaker where the opponent is suspended upside down from the turnbuckle, Epoch absolutely planted Sly Drury with his primary finisher - RETURN OF THE BEAST - A Devastating Neckbreaker which provided him the luxury of an effortless climb out of the cage as Drury convulsed spasticly on his back in the center of the ring. (Epoch +42 Sly Drury -42)
6. LXG Challenge Wrestlers - Moog & Sentinel vs Strangler Lewis & Lou Thesz - Double Ratings Points if Lewis & Thesz win:
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A match that started with handshakes, which shows you how much progress has been made between Earthlings and Aliens ends with Moog helping Thesz to his feet as Thesz had hit Moog with his GRECO-ROMAN BACKDROP but kicked out. Moog & Sentinel focused their attack on Strangler Lewis whom despite their onslaught, absolutely refused to be pinned or submit, after he made THE hot tag of the match to Thesz, it all changed; Thesz controlled the offense entirely and wore down Sentinel and continuously tried to finish off the only wrestler who doesn't fatigue in tag matches - Moog. The match ended in a Time Limit Draw. (Moog & Sentinel +39 Thesz & Lewis +72)
7. LXG HARDCORE TITLE MATCH - LXG Hardcore Champion - Ted DiBiase with Sherri Martel defends his title against Jim Londos - No Disqualifications:
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It was obvious that both DiBiase and Martel were supremely overconfident heading into this match. As DiBiase and Londos locked up collar and elbow, DiBiase tried to go for a Headlock Takedown but Londos reversed it and threw him into the ropes and hit DiBiase with a leave your feet Flying Clothesline which stunned DiBiase, from there Londos hit his AIRPLANE SPIN primary finisher and had DiBiase down for the three count before Sherri Martel even knew what happened. (Jim Londos +238 Ted DiBiase +108)
Jim Londos is the new LXG Hardcore Champion !
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League News:
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LXG Life Coach and proud member of Afghanistan Bananastan - Diamond David Lee Roth is starting his own rockstar/front man clothing line for men which featuring stagewear stitched together using nothing but a wide assortment of ladies panties - the clothing line will be called - Wear Her Colors Into Battle Proudly.
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Rumour Mill:
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Rumor has it that The LXG are in talks with Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston as he may be looking to join as a manager.
Rumor also has it that The LXG is in discussions with The World Wide Empire in order to switch a few WWE wrestlers over to The LXG - as of right now it would appear that oddly Wince McCan'ts own son in law Triple H is to be the first.
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Fly on the Wall Reports:
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1. Reunited And It Feels So Good:
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Disenchanted with Sly Drury and Martial Law in general, Monolith has left that group and has reunited with principal owner of The LXG The Dark Menace to become the first and most important piece of his new Dark Menace Forces Stable that he is assembling...
2. The Boys Are Back In Town:
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With the final touches almost completed on the refurbished Keyspan Park Baseball Park at Coney Island, the new home for The Brooklyn Dodgers (which was constructed by many - on the arm - out of love and appreciation for the Bums being back in Brooklyn), Jackie Robinsons 95 year old widow, Rachel Robinson said a few words at the stadium and was suprised when Pee Wee Reese's children came on the field and simply put their arms around her, as Pee Wee did with Jackie in 1947 showing the world the way to be. Rachel looked up into the sky and said - Jack...we're finally home - there wasn't a dry eye in the house...
3. A Trip To A Delicatessen & Escort Service:
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Sky Low Low stopped by Smallie Biggs establishment in order to pick up a pound each of corned beef and pastrami, some of the best kinishes in town and to pay off the 5 million dollars that he and The Beav owed Biggs. Sky then received a text from Beav that said - Sky, Jim Morrison wants to manage Phantasy and she wants him too as well, prompting Sky to say rhetorically - Great ratings...he's...totally... nuts...but it would be great ratings...
4. What Happens In The Basement Stays In
The Basement :
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Officiated by the under hypnosis and often oddly aroused LXG Receptionist Theresa, Kevin Sullivan defeats Murdok in a bloodsoaked match from hell; after kicking out of three near falls and being slashed open 5 times, Murdok collides into the turnbuckle delerious from blood loss and is rolled up by Sullivan and his evil smile for the win and as a result he secured leadership of The Dungeon of Doom.
5. For Whom The Bell Tolls:
---------------------------------------------
Just when 4 Aethrans in the LXG made everyone nervous, 4 more arrive directly from their home planet, their names are - Brute, Massacre, Probation and The Aethran Overmaster and they are on a collision course with The New (Self Proclaimed) Aethran Empire of - Havoc, Paralyze, Thrash and Disaster - One hell of a match is being written up for this month's Lucky 13 PPV!
6. Afghanistan Bananastan Volume III Summary - From The Journal of Little Beaver:
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Homeless to be employed by LXG starting with new wrestler trained by Homicide and Thrash - Witness!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Alien Cage is a Bronx Zoo / LXG world-wide hit - extra cages being built in case of more scouts / potential invasion of Earth!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kevin Sullivan / LXG Meeting Set - Dave has the Full Bug - Complete with Camera!
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It's been confirmed - Some of the deaf can actually hear Ron Simmons's - DAMN!!!
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Triple H to join The LXG - but will be followed closely due to potential catastrophic assholery committed on his part for his _ather in law!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bill Murray's poll of the group is completed and it's unanimous - favorite food after sex is definitely Chinese Food!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After unholy amounts of caffeine and extreme sadistic yoga, Loophole is proud to announce he can now literally talk out of his ass.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Extra security needed for upcoming PPV Aethran War Match - U.S. Marines have proudly accepted due to Brooklyn Dodger triumph!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Smallie Biggs has backed off pressure on The LXG when he was questioned by Sky - Where were you in 1973 when Zeppelin toured America?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Strange happenings on Hoffman Island - Spy to be hired - possibly Rowdy Roddy Piper!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Plethador has determined as a result of the therapy sessions that poor Mr. X is mentally a lost cause - "If you have your head up you're ass long enough, you will start to find the darkness comforting".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Month 4 - Card 4 Match Announcements:
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1. Gustav - The Belt Parkway Zombie vs Sabu.
2. Yukon Eric vs Homicide with Thrash.
3. The Sheepherders vs The Midnight Express with Jim Cornette.
4. Phantasy with Jim Morrison vs Marion Fontaine and His Imaginary Manager - Double Ratings Point No Dq Feud Rematch.
5. Nature Boy - Buddy Rogers vs Blackjack Mulligan.
6. LXG Challenge Wrestler - Aethran Minister of War - Disaster vs Unbreakable Michael Elgin - Shot at LXG Intercontinental Title if Elgin wins.
7. Lords Of Flatbush Tournament - Match 2 - The Unpredictables - Jay Lethal, Johnny Gargano, Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero vs. The Marquee - A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels, Davey Richards & Jay Briscoe - 8 Man Tag Elimination Match
8. LXG WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH - LXG World Tag Team Champions - Giant Baba & Jimmy Snuka defend their titles against Johnny & Greg Valentine!
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A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...
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Post by TTX on Sept 20, 2017 21:46:35 GMT -5
big win by Epoch...fun show overall but I wouldn't expect less.
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Post by Pariah on Sept 21, 2017 3:04:47 GMT -5
Quite the exciting finish to Street vs Gorgeous George... Here's hoping LXG officials can get those two separated (literally!) in time for the next chapter of the wildly entertaining Benny Hill feud...
Some superb action on the horizon... Really can't wait to see the Marquee have their first appearance in the Lords of Flatbush tourney...
Awesome stuff!
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Post by Bri on Sept 21, 2017 16:26:07 GMT -5
big win by Epoch...fun show overall but I wouldn't expect less. Hey TTX! It was a lot of fun to have Epoch and Drury go at it. I really like Epochs new card - great stuff. Thank you sir for the praise! Very glad The LXG is enjoyable. I'm having a blast with it. Also found a way to play during my commutte so I'm really psyched! Thanks Troy! |
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Post by Bri on Sept 21, 2017 16:30:15 GMT -5
Quite the exciting finish to Street vs Gorgeous George... Here's hoping LXG officials can get those two separated (literally!) in time for the next chapter of the wildly entertaining Benny Hill feud... Some superb action on the horizon... Really can't wait to see the Marquee have their first appearance in the Lords of Flatbush tourney... Awesome stuff! Hey Pariah! I'm always hoping each card is unique. That one was a lot of fun. Couldn't believe how fast Londos ripped through DiBiase! The Lords of Flatbush Tourney will hopefully be fun. Posting for me always seems to be a work in progress! A thousand thank yous my man! |
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Post by cruefan68 on Sept 21, 2017 20:59:28 GMT -5
Drivin' down your freeway
Midnight alleys roam
cops in cars,
The topless bars
After I stopped at the t-bar,
I kept drivin down the freeway
LXG is that way she said,
Right on I went ahead
Coming to the doorway
I said LXG is this way
LXG c'mon...
Another great night of LXG action complete with a Fly on the Wall Report. I will never tire of hearing about Diamond Dave, Bill Murray, Sky and Beaver and the rest of the film noir' troupe that inhabits this incredible universe you have created. We are truly not worthy, to borrow something of a line from Wayne's World - party time, excellent! Adrian Street vs. Gorgeous George, what more can I say? A rare gem of a matchup that will only become increasingly fantastic I am sure as it plays out. Looking forward to the next event my friend.
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Post by Bri on Sept 22, 2017 9:56:47 GMT -5
Drivin' down your freeway Midnight alleys roam cops in cars, The topless bars After I stopped at the t-bar, I kept drivin down the freeway LXG is that way she said, Right on I went ahead Coming to the doorway I said LXG is this way LXG c'mon... Another great night of LXG action complete with a Fly on the Wall Report. I will never tire of hearing about Diamond Dave, Bill Murray, Sky and Beaver and the rest of the film noir' troupe that inhabits this incredible universe you have created. We are truly not worthy, to borrow something of a line from Wayne's World - party time, excellent! Adrian Street vs. Gorgeous George, what more can I say? A rare gem of a matchup that will only become increasingly fantastic I am sure as it plays out. Looking forward to the next event my friend. Hey cruefan68! The vignette above was beyond cool my friend. Totally stoked you are digging the trip and can't thank you enough for that praise brother! The Benny Hill Feud is reaching its climax with next month's tie breaking third bout for Triple Ratings Points, catapulting the winner up the ratings - I'm sure Ms Dupre and Ms Linda will work out the details for that one. Afghanistan Bananastan's jobs are getting harder and more numerous, many pots on their stove are going to start boiling soon, The LXG is becoming a conveyer belt of chaos. But so far they have been hitting what's pitched their way. Hoping to have Month 4 Card 4 rolled out and posted this week. Many Thanks Crue! |
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Post by Bri on Sept 24, 2017 9:29:56 GMT -5
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Month 4 - Card 4 Match Results:
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1. Gustav - The Belt Parkway Zombie vs Sabu:
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After initially outmaneuvering Gustav, Sabu fell victim to the sheer size and strength of Gustav, who was a foot taller and twice his weight. After Sabu kept kicking out of Gustavs finisher - GOODNIGHT FROM GUSTAV - A Powerful Throat Lift Into A Chokeslam, Gustav picked up the bloodied and stubborn/crazy Sabu and threw him head first into a souvenier stand - forcing the ref to Disqualify Gustav. (Sabu -84 Gustav -46).
2. Yukon Eric vs Homicide with Gladiator of Aethra - Thrash:
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Homicide tried for a quick win via a brutal assault but soon found out that Yukon Eric can definitely take a punch. Eric came back with his own assault and almost forced Homicide to tap out to his finisher - KODIAK KRUNCH - An Over The Shoulder Backbreaker. Homicide took the match outside the ring and between his Piledriver Onto The Concrete and Thrash's immediate Punt To The Head to Eric as Homicide distracted the ref, Eric was Counted Out. (Homicide +42 Yukon Eric -82).
3. The Sheepherders vs The Midnight Express with Jim Cornette:
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After superb teamwork and brital double teaming on both sides, The Midnight Express started to control the offense for a long period of time until The Sheepherders came back & hit Stan Lane with their DOUBLE GUTBUSTER - Tag Finisher and definitely had the match won. But Bobby Eaton interfered at the last second with a Loaded Elbow Drop on Butch Miller that stunned him long enough for Lane to recover and roll Miller up just long enough to score the three count. (Midnight Express +48 The Sheepherders -64).
4. Phantasy with Jim Morrison vs Marion Fontaine with his Imaginary Manager - Double Ratings Point No Dq Feud Rematch:
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Being down 1 - 0 in this feud with Phantasy definitely lit a fuse under Fontaines ass as he goes completely on the war path; after various Bulldogs and PUGILISTS HOOKs for near falls, Fontaine pinned Phantasy courtesy of his Inverted Double Underhook Facebuster. Fontaine then had the nerve to then ask Morrison for an autograph. Jim said sure, hold on one second, reached down into his duffle bag and then spun around cracking Fontaine in the head with a glass whiskey bottle - shattering his head and the bottle. He then wrote on the prone Fontaines forehead in black permanent marker - LOVE MY GIRL. (Marion Fontaine +59 Phantasy -59).
(With this "victory" by Fontaine it evens this feud at one win a piece, the third tie breaking (and possible bottle breaking) match will occur during Month 5).
5. Nature Boy Budy Rogers vs Blackjack Mulligan:
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Mulligan storms out on offense and quite frankly beats the daylights out of Buddy Rogers in a match that looked like Mulligan was only seconds away from winning. Out of nowhere Rogers wins a key brawl outside the ring with a knee strike to Mulligan's family jewels. Rogers then executed his Jumping Knee Smash into a Pin Using Ropes for the near pinfall. Without hesitating, Rogers clamped on his finisher - FIGURE FOUR GRAPEVINE which for an impressively long time Mulligan withstood - but ultimately had to tap out to. (Buddy Rogers +46 Mulligan 0)
6. LXG Challenge Wrestler - Aethran Minister of War - Disaster vs Unbreakable Michael Elgin - Shot at LXG Intercontinental:
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Michael Elgin proves to everybody including Disaster that he can go toe to toe with him, so he does. After Disaster and Elgin go back and forth in control of the match, Disaster starts to command the offense via his Decapitator - a Running Clothesline in The Corner. Elgin slides out of the ring and outbrawls Disaster; despite warnings from special referee Massif, Elgin ELGIN BOMBS Disaster through announcers Jim Solie and Gorilla Venturas table. Massif disqualifies Elgin amidst much protest from Elgin because otherwise the semi-conscious Disaster would have been counted out. Let the feud begin. (Disaster +25 Michael Elgin +103)
7. Lords Of Flatbush Tournament - Match 2 - The Unpredictables - Jay Lethal, Johnny Gargano, Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero vs. The Marquee - A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels, Davey Richards & Jay Briscoe - 8 Man Tag Elimination Match:
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First Elimination:
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Gargano eliminated Styles after Styles gets the hot tag from Daniels. Gargano forced Styles to submit to his GARGANO ESCAPE finisher - A Chickenwing Over The Shoulder Crossface.
Second Elimination:
---------------------------------
As Gargano continues his dominant offense he runs into a brick wall named Davey Richards after Jay Briscoe tagged in Richards. After almost kicking Garganos face off, Gargano submits to Richards ANKLE LOCK finisher.
Third Elimination:
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Richards survives a hellacious beating from Jay Lethal for as long as he can but Lethal not only cuts him off from his teammates, but scores the pinfall via his LETHAL INJECTION primary finisher - a Pumphandle Sit Out Powerbomb.
Fourth Elimination:
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If there was an mvp for The Marquee team so far - it would be Jay Briscoe. After kicking out and powering out of maneuver after maneuver from Jay Lethal, Briscoe capitalizes on Lethals pause at the top of the turnbuckle as he panders to his fans, by Powerslamming him into the ring, setting up his JAY DRILLER. Lethal barely kicked out & Briscoe blasted him in the forehead with his weighted vanity title belt for the pin.
Fifth Elimination:
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After displaying incredible tag skills on both sides as well as ferocious offenses from both corners, including multiple near falls on both sides, The Forever Hooligans pin Christopher Daniels via their CONTRACT KILLER tag finisher - An Inverted Death Valley Driver by Koslov and a Springboard Diving Kneedrop by Azucar.
Sixth Elimination:
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Despite all odds Jay Briscoe hits Alex Koslov with nothing short of four executions of his JAY DRILLER finisher - A Double Underhook Piledriver for four equally impressive kick outs by Koslov. What was even more impressive was Briscoe pinning Koslov with a fifth - leaving only Jay Briscoe and Rocky Romero left.
The Final Fall:
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In a all or nothing back and forth inside and outside the ring classic - Mr. Azucar Rocky Romero pins Jay Briscoe via his Top Rope Cross Armbreaker to score the final elimination and secure the victory for The Unpredictables - amongst a tidal wave of boos and thrown pretzels. Romero, in particular, had a full beer poured on his head by a pissed off fan, just as they were about to enter the locker room. It turned out that the fan was Aaron Paul (aka Jessie from Breaking Bad).
The Unpredictables move a step closer to becoming The Lords of Flatbush.
8. WORLD TITLE MATCH - LXG World Tag Team Champions - Giant Baba and Jimmy Superfly Snuka defend their titles against the number one tag team contenders - Johnny and Greg Valentine:
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Greg Valentine was no match for Giant Baba this night - he was just too powerful and too fired up. Being finally able to make the hot tag to his father Johnny Valentine, changed the course and dynamic of the match. Giant Baba was still on fire but Johnny Valentine proved to be much more resilient; aside from kicking out of 5 pin attempts, Johnny succeeded in never allowing Baba to tag Snuka into the match.
But Giant Baba's offense was ultimately too devastating to resist forever and Baba pinned Johnny Valentine via his NECKBREAKER DROP finisher as Jimmy Snuka Flying Forearmed Greg Valentine away from the fall from the top rope, to seal the deal.
Giant Baba and Jimmy Snuka retain The World Tag Team Titles!!
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League News:
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Due to overwhelming ratings, a 5% stake in the World Wide Empire and the sanctioning of The LXG Universe Champion and LXG Universe Tag Team Championship Belts, The LXG roster as well as the number of cards a month are changing and expanding from 12 cards to 16 cards a month, to accomodate this as well as shortening the amount of matches (slightly).
Multiple new teams, managers as well as new singles only wrestlers are changing so quickly within the existing roster and new additions to the roster, The LXG have decided to just let the changes unfold on each furure card as a suprise or suprises.
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Rumour Mill:
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Due to an exponential increase in profits as well as principle owner The Dark Menace's decision to leave the running of The LXG to his braintrust, and concentrate on managing, The Monthly PPV LXG Card - Lucky 13 will now potentially be held at different venues domestically as well as internationally...as well as possibly in the future - in a proposed New LXG Arena on Earths Moon!
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Fly on the Wall Reports:
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1. The Oddfather:
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Father Jonathan has completely dissappeared, he hasn't been seen for days now. Several members of the now extremely concerned Afghanistan Bananastan have scoured Brooklyn but to no avail, even The Wicked Monks extensive spy network are at a loss for answers.
Plethador recently reminded them all that just after The (Odd) Father had narrowly succeeded in talking Sky Low Low out of attempting to construct an actual "Orgasmatron" (as from the Woody Allen Movie - Sleeper), Father Jonathan had a foreboding feeling of impending doom, as if something or someone was heading their collective way, just prior to his disappearance...
2. The Price Is Right:
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Roddy Piper, Cowboy Bob Orton and the Wicked Monks bodyguard - Behemoth have now established a large LXG funded surveillance operation of Hoffman Island (The current lair of The Black Death stable of LXG wrestlers) from the other and slightly smaller previously uninhabited island off the coast of Staten Island, Swineburn Island - (which lies approximately a mile away from Hoffman Island).
Hoffman Island has been the home to some very strange and disturbing recent occurences including - strange lights emanating from the historic as well as newer structures, blood curdling screams and sudden appearances of mysterious humanoid beings who appear to be in a word...unnatural...
Orton and the bossy Piper almost came to blows but Piper set the tone for the operation. He told Orton - Look ace...I'm not a dick...I'm a well paid dick...there's a big difference.
3. The Withdrawal Method:
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Epoch has backed out of The Maffei and his power struggle with Sly Drury while several people seem to have simultaneously dissappeared from both The Maffei (Sly's universal crime) and Martial Law.
From The Maffei - Smallie Biggs and his total delicatessen / escort service set up in Sheepshead Bay - have left that building entirely leaving The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz and Biggs former tenant Jim Morrison (& Phantasy) completely in the dark. In the case of Morrison, he now lives in an abandoned structure, seemingly rent free tho.
From Martial Law - The whereabouts of both Iron Hand and Code Destroyer (from The GWF - Martial Law), are currently unknown, leaving many GWF officials puzzled and scratching their heads.
4. Happiness Is A Warm Nun:
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Little Beaver was so depressed - even Diamond Dave and his own brother Sky couldn't cheer him up. So Sky and Dave came up with a plan, if LXG Head of Public Relations - Bill Murray couldn't cheer him up - then nobody can.
Murray took The Beav to Coney Island to ride The Cyclone and see what's eating him. Beav eventually told Bill - it's terrible Bill - I have no chance - this is a lost cause. Bill said Beav, you're breaking my heart, if you don't tell me what it is, I'm going to noggie you into intensive care. Beav finally admitted it - he's in love - with the most beautiful woman he's ever seen - the soon to be instated wrestler and member of Martial Law - Fhana.
Murray told him - Fhana huh? - boy are you screwed! Then he quickly said I'm just kidding, but you sure can pick em my man. Beav then told him that hes not a ladies man and to top it all off, he has put on a lot of weight lately due to his stress eating and drinking - he's most sensitive about his "man boobs".
Bill Murray told Beav that there's absolutely nothing wrong with him and that if he himself was a chick, he would of had him in a heartbeat a long time ago - also don't forget there's someone in this fed who could have any woman he wants. To which a very curious Beav said who? And who Bill mentioned gave our beloved Beav a very warm toasty feeling inside and put the wind back in his sails:
Bill simply said - The Tower of Power, The White Soul King, The Son of a Plumber Man The American Dream...and the Patron Saint...of Man Breasts - (In his best immitation) - Duh-tee Rho'.
Beavie - have you seen the ladies Dusty gets - it's com-pletely...insane.
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Month 4 - Card 5 Match Announcements:
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1. Big Sue Jackson vs Taeler Hendrix with Clint Eastwood & Clyde.
2. From Martial Law - Mean Streets - Patch & Skiver with Sly Drury vs Lance Hoyt & Ox Baker with A Suprise New Management Team!
3. New LXG Wrestler From The World Wide Empire - Triple H vs The Sheik with Abdullah Farouk.
4. Godsend with Kevin Sullivan vs. Bockwinkel with Heenan - Feud Rematch for Double Ratings Points.
5. Brodie Lee & Homicide with Gladiator of Aethra - Thrash vs Ted DiBiase & King Kong Bundy with Senational Sherri Martel.
6. TELEVISION TITLE MATCH - LXG Television Champion George Hackenschmidt defends his title against his number one contender - Penny Banner with Suprise New Manager!
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A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...
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