COMET TV and Hungry Spartan Pizza present...
August 28, 2022
Rise up and take the power back
It's time the fat cats had a heart attack
You know that their time's coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend
So come on!Wes Brisco vs. The Big Picture
* The Big Picture went on the attack straight away, pummeling Brisco with clotheslines and a crushing senton.
* Brisco was launched into the ropes but ducked under a clothesline and came back with one of his own that staggered his opponent.
* Brisco went for a piledriver and hit it solidly, but the Big Picture popped right up as if it had no effect.
* Brisco was taken aback but shot in and muscled his opponent up for a BRISCO BOMB that only earned a count of one.
* Despite his toughness, the Big Picture was clearly wearing down, and another BRISCO BOMB finally put him away. Huge upset!
WINNER: Wes Brisco via pinfall (4:53) *½
The Wildcards vs. The Philly Marino Experience
* Thom Latimer squared off against Philly Collins to start the match, and Latimer proved dominant.
* The surly Brit beat Collins from pillar to post before whipping him into the PME corner and allowing a tag.
* Marino Tenaglia rushed into the match and met the same fate as his partner.
* Another uneven exchange saw Latimer cockily allow his opponents to make another exchange.
* Latimer hoisted Collins up for a piledriver, but Tenaglia dove into the ring with a chop block, sending Collins crashing down on top of the Brit.
* Tenaglia raced around the ring and tied up Royce Isaacs while Collins slapped on a figure four to earn a big W.
WINNERS: The Philly Marino Experience via submission (6:18) *½
In-Ring Interview: Danhausen
* Highlights of a recent match were shown. Petey Williams dominated Danhausen, only to fall prey to a DEVOTION DDT out of nowhere.
* Chad Olson welcomed Danhausen (very nice, very evil) to the ring, and the popular wrestler expressed pleasure at being on “IPW Uphausen.”
* Olson asked his guest if he could beat Petey Williams twice in a row.
* Danhausen seemed confused as to why he had to wrestle someone he had already beaten.
* Danhausen: “But no matter! Danhausen will once again be victorious and receive all of the human monies!”
* The words had barely left his lips when Petey Williams charged down the aisle, slid into the ring, and attacked Danhausen from behind.
* Williams threw Danhausen out of the ring and grabbed a chair, driving it directly into his enemy’s ankle.
* Danhausen writhed in pain, shouting imprecations and curses as a medical crew checked him over.
Danhausen vs. Petey Williams
* The official consulted with the medical team and confirmed that Danhausen would be unable to compete.
WINNER: Petey Williams via forfeit (0:00) –
But wait…
* Shaking his head and saying, “Oh, no. No, that’s not happening,” IPW Matchmaker Dave Marquez walked down the aisle, microphone in hand.
* Marquez’s first order of business was to throw out the forfeit victory, saying “it never happened.”
* While a furious Williams protested, Marquez calmly addressed the situation.
* Marquez: “If you want your win back, all you have to do is beat this man, IPW’s newest acquisition…”
Have you heard about the new girl on the block in her black-out Benz…?
With her old school kicks and her hipster friends, got a peace sign in hand…
She's everything you want and all you hated…
Well dressed and overrated…
Some girls freak me out…
Andrew Palace vs. Petey Williams
* Palace—a heavy fan favorite anyway, amplified because he was fighting Petey Williams—came out of the gates strong.
* An arm drag, a dropkick, and a flying forearm combined to send Williams crashing to the mat and backing into the corner.
* Palace followed him in, but the referee got between the two men, struggling to keep them separated.
* With the referee distracted, Williams hit his opponent with a kick to the groin.
* Palace dropped like a stone, and Williams made the easy cover.
WINNER: Petey Williams via cheap pinfall (1:56) –
In-Ring Interview: IPW Extreme Champion Jake Atlas
* Footage was shown of Tony Deppen attacking Atlas and stealing his belt, then of Atlas challenging the delusional Deppen to a “title match.”
* Talking frankly with Chad Olson, Atlas vowed to get his championship belt back from Deppen.
* Before he could go any further, the interview was interrupted by Sammy Guevara.
* Guevara accused Atlas of secretly paying Deppen to take the title, because the champion was too afraid to defend it against him.
* Atlas called his bluff and agreed to a championship match (sans belt) on the spot.
No-Disqualification Match for the IPW Extreme Championship: Jake Atlas © vs. “The Spanish God” Sammy Guevara
* Having prepared himself for the possibility of a match, Guevara was able to secure an advantage over Atlas, hammering him with forearms and chops.
* A reverse hurricanrana sent Atlas crashing to the mat and rolling to the floor, where Guevara hit him with a sickening curb stomp that busted him open.
* A superkick to the back of Atlas’ head nearly spelled doom for him, but he was able to kick out at 2.8.
* Guevara’s follow-up 630 SENTON earned a count of 2.9 and sent Atlas rolling out to the floor one more time.
* The Spanish God raced up the turnbuckles and launched himself onto the champion with a shooting star press all the way to the floor.
* Guevara, himself aching after the move, was barely able to make it back into the ring, but the motionless champion was not.
WINNER: Sammy Guevara via count out (6:12) ***
Non-Title Match: IPW Heavyweight Champion “The Beast” Malice vs. “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters
* Malice came out swinging heavy lumber, but Masters—enjoying a rare speed advantage—was able to evade him.
* A thumb to the eye left the champion blinded, and the enterprising Masters quickly slapped on his MASTERLOCK.
* Masters struggled to get his fingers locked, and Malice tumbled into the ropes before the move could be completely locked in.
* The champion was able to turn things around after escaping to the arena floor and out-brawling Masters.
* Masters survived one SPEAR, but a second did him in.
WINNER: IPW Heavyweight Champion “The Beast” Malice via pinfall (6:52) **½
Special Appearance: The Young Bucks
* Matt and Nick Jackson came out to a raucous ovation and a thunderous chant of “Too Sweet,” which caused Matt to shush the crowd.
* Matt: “Do you want us to get another cease-and-desist letter?”
* Both brothers commented, in their usual backhanded way, about how nice it was to be at an IPW show.
* Nick: “This is the first time we’ve been in Iowa…”
* Matt: “Since the last time we were in Iowa.”
* The duo surmised what a thrill it must be for the fans to see them, the biggest and best tag team ever to come through IPW…
But wait…
* Familiar music brought out the Legend Killers, led by their manager, Howdy Price
* Price: “Well now, hang on, hold it a minute, there…”
* The portly manager went on to describe the Young Bucks as “the biggest game on the card.”
* He also pointed out that his boys weren’t just Legend Killers, but also Big Game Hunters.
* With Matty Star and Sparrow looking eager and hungry, Price challenged the Young Bucks to a tag team match on the spot.
* The Brothers Jackson looked at one another and answered with a full set of middle fingers before Nick held the ropes open for the interlopers.
Exhibition Match: The Legend Killers (with Howdy Price) vs. The Young Bucks
* Nick Jackson started the match against Sparrow, and it was obvious that neither Nick nor his brother Matt were taking the match seriously.
* In the opening exchanges, it seemed like the Young Bucks’ confidence was well-founded, as Sparrow suffered a double-team thrashing.
* When things spilled to the floor, however, Howdy Price made his presence known, smashing Nick from behind with his shoe.
* A much-needed tag to Matty Star soon had Nick in real trouble, and he barely answered the ten-count after an assisted suicide dive.
* Nick was able to rally and tag in Matt, but the Legend Killers held firm and soon had the elder Jackson in dire straits.
* The Legend Killers made a timely exchange and an EAT DEFEAT/SUPERKICK combo put Matt on his back.
* Star made the cover and Sparrow intercepted Nick Jackson, earning the Legend Killers the biggest win of their careers.
WINNERS: The Legend Killers via pinfall (9:24) **
Post-Match Drama
* After the match, Howdy Price slid a pair of scissors into the ring, instructing his team to cut off a length of Matt’s hair for his trophy case.
* A one-man superkick party from Nick soon broke up that plan, sending all three rulebreakers into retreat and drawing the cheers of the crowd.
*Chad Olson wrapped up the evening to send the crowd home happy.
* Olson: “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it for—”
* A superkick from Matt aborted Olson’s announcement and closed out the show.
Closing Credits…End of Show…
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