Heavenly Wrestling Association update

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
Triton Ice Palace; Triton, Neptune

January 24, 2125

* Slap Stick made Dustin DeWind submit to an inverted belly to back bear hug.

* Colly Flower pinned Val Kira with the DOG’S DAY. After the match, a woman dressed similar to Val Kira walked down the entrance ramp, entered the ring, and began to approach Val Kira, who quickly scooted out of the ring and ran back up the entrance ramp repeatedly screaming, “I’m not going back!” Austin Williams entered the ring to find out about this mystery woman.

AUSTIN WILLIAMS

It seems that whomever you are, you have some sort of history with Val Kira. So my question to you is who are you and what’s your relationship to Val Kira?

VAL HAILEY

My name is Val Hailey, and Val Kira is my sister.

AUSTIN WILLIAMS

Your sister? You mean by blood or that she’s a member of your race?

VAL HAILEY

Both. We are of the race of Valkyries. We all have the same father, Father Odin. We were born to do one thing and one thing only, to bring the souls of the honored heroes slain in combat to Val Halla, or to die in the process. Our duties can only end at the time of Ragnarok.

AUSTIN WILLIAMS

So why have you come for Val Kira?

VAL HAILEY

I was the sole victor in a contest amongst all of my other sisters and have been charged with the duty of bringing her to Father Odin for judgment. You see, she refused to perform the duties for which she was born to do and left Val Halla, sending many of our sisters to the healers. (All of a sudden, Val Kira returns to the ring and attacks her sister, sending Austin sprawling out of the ring. The two sisters battled back and forth until Val Kira knocked her out with VAL KIRA’S RIDE. She then grabbed the mike and stood over Val Hailey.)

VAL KIRA

Get this through your thick head, sister! I’ve finally found happiness, my “destiny”, if you will. And not your, not Father Odin, or any of my sisters is going to take that away from me. So you go back and tell our father that as far as I’m concerned, he’s no longer my father, you and the other sisters are no longer my family, and Val Halla is no longer my home. As far as I’m concerned, I am home! (Austin Williams re-enters the ring) You’ve got something to say, little boy?! (Austin takes the mike)

AUSTIN WILLIAMS

Is it true what she said? You’ve sent several of your sisters to the healers just so you could leave Val Halla?

VAL KIRA

I did more than that, you little pest. I killed many of my “former” sisters! I may have been born a Valkyrie, but it’s not my destiny to spend my entire life collecting the souls of dead soldiers and bringing them to Val Halla. But Val Hailey didn’t tell you the entire story. Valkyries are not allowed to have relationships of any kind. They’re just expected to do nothing more than spend their entire lives collecting souls.

AUSTIN WILLIAMS

But you broke the rule, didn’t you? You fell in love.

VAL KIRA

Very perceptive of you. And what really ticked my father off is that it was one of the souls I was “sent” to collect. The moment I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine, we knew it. I couldn’t bring him back to Val Halla and never be with him again, so I hid his soul away until I found a mystic who could restore his soul to his body. As we began spending time together, I learned that as not only was he a soldier, he was also a wrestler. When his restored body was strong enough, he taught me how to be a wrestler. But then father found out what I’d done and sent one of my sisters not only to kill the love of my life, but to bring me back home to face his wrath. So I killed them and left Val Halla, and that’s why I’m never going back. Anybody, man or god, who refuses to see his daughter happy is no father of mine, and any other daughter who follows along with him is no sister of mine. (Val Kira stomps on Val Hailey’s head). That includes you! (Val Kira draws her sword and raises it above her head, but several referees and HWA officials rush into the ring and grab her arms, pushing her into the corner and disarming her as the medics pull Val Hailey out of the ring and put her on a stretcher. Val Hailey is only injured for 1 show.)

* Walk of Fame defeated the C&C Connection when Holly Wood made Carissa submit to the California Crab.

* The Jackson Jills defeated the Sisters of Pain when Julie pinned Debbie Hate with the WIDOW’S PEAK.

* Warren Peace pinned Bayne with the ART OF WAR.

* Halle Burton pinned Holly Pena with her ILLEGAL BRIEFS.

* Epsilon Beta defeated Dewie Cheatham by disqualification when Dewie ALWAYS CHEATed; In this instance, Howe held down Epsilon Beta’s legs from outside the ring while the referee made the 3-count, but another referee entered the ring and informed him of the interference, forcing a reversal in the decision.

* Scott Creed pinned Harvard Yale by MY SACRIFICE.

* Billy B. pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with a spinning heel kick

* After a long, hard-fought battle, Dingo pinned 666 with the BOOMERANG BANG.

* Despite Body Glove kicking out of an ERUPTION by Volcano and a “Category 5” VORTEX-PLEX by Tornado, the Destructive Forces still managed to defeat Surf’s Up when Body Glove was counted out, having never been able to tag in Ray-Ban.

* The Progressives defeated the Killer Whales when Willy was disqualified for repeatedly whipping Guy-Koh into the guard rails.

* Aphrodi-Tina pinned Lucy Kannin with the BOOK OF LOVE.

* And in the main event, Herman Glopp became the new[/u] HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Flexicon after two GLOPP DROPs and a Samoan Drop.

[barnestormer]

Jan 11, 2010 14:58:06 GMT -5 @du5tin said:

Did you create these wrestlers?

Sorry I didn't reply earlier, Dustin. I didn't notice this post until today. I created almost every wrestler and team with the exception of the following teams:

The Jackson Jills (Peppermint Patti and Julie) were created by Aaron "chewey" Chiu.

Jason Jaconetti created the Sisters of Pain (Jenna Love and Debbie Hate)

Dr. B created the C&C Connection (Chandra & Carissa).

I forget who created Barbie Blaze of the Walk of Fame team, but Holly Wood was created by Ray "Disaster" DeGarmo. I came up with the idea of teaming them as the Walk of Fame, since both characters are from Hollywood, California.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The ThermoSphere; Mercury

January 30, 2125

The Jackson Jills defeated the C&C Connection when Chandra was disqualified after she and Carissa double attacked Julie when Carissa attempted to save Chandra from being pinned by the LE BOMB DE ROUGEAU.

The Deadly Sins (Levi Ethan and B.L. Zebob) won their debut match over the Ark Angels (Michael and Gabriel) when Levi Ethan pinned Gabriel with the GREEN-EYED MONSTROCITY.

Big Poppa Roach defeated Ace Endehole by count out due to a springboard moonsault onto the floor.

Dingo pinned Ugly Coyote with the BOOMERANG BANG.

Victor E. defeated Gangurru by count out due to a springboard moonsault onto the floor.

The Destructive Forces defeated the Samoan Vice Squad when Tornado pinned S’Nunu with a tornado bulldog. After the match, Flexicon and Sheik Khalid Sirhan ran into the ring and helped S’Nunu give Tornado a severe beating, using every weapon they could get their hands on to do serious damage to the younger Destructive Force. It was only after several wrestlers came out of the dressing room that the trio broke off their attacks and left the ring. Tornado was put on a stretcher and will be out of action for 9 shows. HWA commissioner Thomas Nixon suspended S’Nunu for 3 shows and suspended Sheik Khalid Sirhan for 6 shows.

Aphrodi-Tina pinned Halle Burton with the BOOK OF LOVE.

Flexicon defeated HWA Tri-Planetary champion Herman Glopp in their title re-match by disqualification when Herman repeatedly whipped Flexicon into the guard rails, but Herman still left the ThermoSphere the Tri-Planetary champion. A “Last Chance Titan Death Match” has been scheduled for next Saturday. If Flexicon fails to re-capture the title, he’ll have to wait 2 months to make another challenge.

Lucy Kannin pinned Pearl E. Gates by LIGHT THE FUSE.

Everything Nice defeated the Sisters of Pain when Sugah pinned Jenna Love with the EYE CANDY.

King Kobra pinned Devil’s Reject with a shoulder tackle.

Bootylicious Bertha pinned Demiah the Devil’s Daughter with the BOOTY BOMB.

The Annihilators successfully defended the HWA Tag Team titles over the TNT Boyz when Pthalos pinned Tracey with the IMMINENT DESTRUCTION.

And in the main event, Armageddon is still the HWA Heavyweight champion when he pinned Hurricane with the APOCOLYPSE.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
Merchant’s Flea Market (“The Flea”); Dayton, Ohio; Earth

January 31, 2125

Dustin DeWind pinned Dewie Cheatham with a deathjump cross body block.

Colly Flower pinned Alison Chainz with a bulldog.

Slap Stick pinned Bayne with the RUNNING GAG.

Val Kira pinned Val Hailey with VAL KIRA’S RIDE.

Warren Peace pinned Harvard Yale with a hurricanrana.

Scott Creed defeated Sheik Khalid Sirhan by default due to Khalid’s suspension yesterday for helping to put Tornado out of action on Mercury.

666 pinned Epsilon Beta with the MARK OF THE BEAST.

Surf’s Up defeated Road-Rayge when Roadkill was disqualified following a brawl outside the ring with Body Glove.

Walk of Fame defeated Esther-Jenn when Jenn was counted out following a springboard moonsault to the floor by Holly Wood.

The Killer Whales defeated the Progressives when Willy pinned A-Flack with the BEACHED WHALES.

‘Nuff’s Enough managed to hold onto the HWA Ladies Tag Team titles, defeating the Queen Bees by disqualification when the referee caught Beatrice and Beulah making their infamous illegal “masked partner” switch.

And in the main event, in a non-title bout, Holly Pena pinned HWA Ladies champion Ambrosia with the PICANTE.

[barnestormer]

(Due to the huge winter storm that hit the Ohio area over the weekend, the library where I have internet access was closed on Saturday. Therefore, I’ve combined Saturday’s HWA report with Sunday’s report. --David “Barnestormer” Barnes)

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

February 6, 2125

* Walk of Fame defeated the Jackson Jills when Holly Wood pinned Julie by THE STAR IS BORN.

* Road-Rayge defeated the Progressives when Roadkill pinned A-Flack with the ANNIHILATOR.

* Devil’s Reject pinned 666.

* Esther-Jenn defeated the Queen Bees when Esther pinned Beulah with the PMS.

* Ugly Coyote defeated Gangurru by disqualification when Gangurru repeatedly whipping Ugly Coyote into the guardrails.

* Big Poppa Roach pinned Dingo with the ROACH MOTEL.

* Surf’s Up defeated the Killer Whales when Body Glove pinned Willy with the WIPE OUT.

* Victor E. pinned Hurricane with the VICTOR E. PRESS.

* Lucy Kannin pinned Aphrodi-Tina by LIGHT THE FUSE.

* Demiah the Devil’s Daughter pinned Holly Pena when Holly missed a running shoulder tackle attempt into the corner.

* Herman Glopp is still the HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Flexicon in a Titan Death Match with the GLOPP DROP, forcing Flexicon to wait until April 6 or later to make another challenge for the title.

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Abercrombie Bitch when Abercrombie Bitch missed a running shoulder tackle attempt into the corner.

* Ambrosia pinned Pearl E. Gates to hold onto the HWA Ladies title with the SNEDKER SLAM.

* And in the main event, Armageddon pinned King Kobra with the APOCOLYPSE to hold onto the HWA Heavyweight title.

---

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The Big Top; Clownworld

February 7, 2125

* The C&C Connection defeated the Sisters of Pain when Carissa pinned Debbie Hate after she and Chandra nailed Debbie with a double dropkick as the referee was escorting Jenna Love back to her corner after she had saved Debbie from being pinned by the SOCCER KICK.

* Shannon Egans pinned Alison Chainz in her debut match by CALLING SHENANNIGANS.

* Bayne made Dustin DeWind submit to the BAYNE-BREAKER.

* Val Hailey defeated Halle Burton by disqualification when Halle repeatedly whipped Val Hailey into the guardrails.

* Val Kira pinned Colly Flower with VAL KIRA’S RIDE.

* Slap Stick had a successful showing on his home world when he pinned Epsilon Beta with the RUNNING GAG.

* Dewie Cheatham pinned Ace Endehole by ALWAYS CHEATing (this time using a low blow).

* The Deadly Sins defeated the Ark Angels when B.L. Zebob pinned Michael with an X-Breaker. After the match, a brawl between both teams erupted. During the brawl, B.L. Zebob put Michael in the GLUTTONY and refused to release the hold until several referees and HWA officials managed to break the hold. Michael will be out of action for 4 shows. HWA commissioner Thomas Nixon suspended B.L. Zebob for 6 shows.

* Scott Creed pinned Harvard Yale by MY SACRIFICE.

* Warren Peace pinned Billy B. with the ART OF WAR. After the match, Warren helped the bilby Animan to his feet and raised his hand, praising him for a good effort.

* Everything Nice became the new HWA Ladies Tag Team champions, defeating ‘Nuff’s Enough when Spyce pinned Justine Nuff with a flying head scissors. Justine and Tuffy Nuff were left arguing with the referee, complaining about a fast count.

* And in the main event, the TNT Boyz continued the “title change night” theme when they defeated the Annihilators for the HWA Tag Team titles after Terry pinned Krogon with the C-4.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The Aviary on Sanctuus

February 13, 2125

Lucy Kannin pinned Shannon Egans with a piledriver

The Queen Bees defeated the Jackson Jills when Beulah pinned Peppermint Patty with the SWARM ATTACK.

Dingo pinned Ugly Coyote with the BOOMERANG BANG. After the match, Dingo went wild and executed the BOOMERANG BANG repeatedly on Ugly Coyote, injuring him for 6 shows.

Big Poppa Roach pinned Scott Creed with the ROACH MOTEL.

Abercrombie Bitch pinned Aphrodi-Tina with the 69 DRIVER.

Demiah the Devil’s Daughter pinned Pearl E. Gates with the DEVIL’S SEED.

Flexicon pinned Hurricane with MR. UNIVERSE. After the match, the Samoan Vice Squad entered the ring, and without the Destructive Forces there to even the odds, they helped Flexicon lay a massive beat-down on Hurricane, culminating with the first-ever triple-team super SAMOAN SMASHER (Flexicon had Hurricane on his shoulders as he sat on Tika’s shoulders, who sat on S’Nunu’s shoulders as he climbed to the top turnbuckle so that Flexicon could execute a devastatingly high Samoan Drop) in HWA history onto the concrete floor, putting Hurricane out for 4 shows. HWA commissioner Thomas Nixon finally had enough of the constant attacks by the Samoan Vice Squad on the Destructive Forces and Hurricane and suspended S’Nunu for 6 shows while he suspended Tika for 10 shows.

Devil’s Reject pinned King Kobra with the THUNDERKISS.

‘Nuff’s Enough re-captured the HWA Ladies Tag Team titles from Everything Nice when Justine Nuff pinned Spyce with the ‘NUFF SAID.

Bootylicious Bertha pinned the HWA Ladies champion Ambrosia in a non-title event with a ¾ facelock tornado bulldog.

And in the main event, the Annihilators re-captured the HWA Tag Team titles when Krogon pinned Tracey with a double team stuff piledriver as the referee was escorting Terry back to his corner after saving Tracey from being pinned with the FRANKEN-KROGON.

[barnestormer]

(The library where I access the internet and post these results from was closed yesterday due to the weather. I don’t know about you, but I’m about done with the snow for this year.)

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The Aviary on Sanctuus

February 14, 2125

For the second day in a row, the HWA hosted a show at the Aviary on the planet of Sanctuus, home of HWA alumni the Birds of Prey (Black Hawk and Nighthawk), Phoenix, and Peregrine. In fact, they were in attendance, and to the surprise of everybody in the audience, they were all on their best behaviors, despite the constant battles between the Birds of Prey and Phoenix and Peregrine in the Sanctuus Wrestling Council over the Birds of Prey name. (Could it be that Phoenix and Peregrine want a tag team run in the HWA as the new Birds of Prey? We‘ll keep you apprised of this story if and when it develops.)

In the first match, Dustin DeWind made Dewie Cheatham submit to a rear-naked choke.

Alison Chainz pinned Colly Flower with the ROOSTER.

Val Hailey made Halle Burton submit to the HONORED DEAD.

Slap Stick pinned Bayne with the RUNNING GAG.

The C&C Connection defeated the Walk of Fame when Chandra pinned Barbie Blaze with the CRESCENT KICK.

Val Kira pinned Holly Pena by VAL KIRA’S RIDE.

The match between Epsilon Beta and Harvard Yale ended in a double disqualification because both men had knocked down the referee during a turnbuckle spot.

Ace Endehole pinned 666 with the HEADS UP.

The Progressives defeated Road-Rayge when Guy-Koh got a surprise win over Rayge with the GUY-KOH-NATOR.

The match between Surf’s Up and the Killer Whales ended in a double disqualification following a brawl outside the ring between Body Glove and Willy.

The Sisters of Pain defeated Esther Jenn when Jenna Love pinned Jenn with a standing spinning heel kick.

Gangurru and Billy B. defeated the Samoan Vice Squad by forfeit because of the Samoan Vice Squad’s suspension last night.

Victor E. pinned Herman Glopp with a Victory Roll to win the HWA Tri-Planetary championship.

And in the main event, Warren Peace pinned Armageddon in a non-title match with the ART OF WAR. After the match 666 and Harvard Yale came down to the ring and helped Armageddon lay a massive beat-down on Warren, injuring him for 3 shows.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The Chalice; New Chalisia

February 20, 2125

The Jackson Jills defeated Walk of Fame when Julie pinned Barbie Blaze with the LE BOMB DE ROUGEAU.

The TNT Boyz defeated Road-Rayge when Terry pinned Roadkill with the IMPLOSION.

Gangurru pinned 666 with the WALKABOUT.

The Queen Bees defeated the C&C Connection when Beatrice pinned Chandra with the DRONE’S DEMISE (At least, we think it was Beatrice who made the pin, because earlier in the match, the Queen Bees were able to execute their illegal “identical mask” switch).

The Progressives defeated Surf’s Up in in quick fashion when Guy-Koh got a surprise pinfall victory over Body Glove by way of the GUY-KOH-NATOR.

Big Poppa Roach pinned Dingo with a running spear.

Pearl E. Gates defeated Lucy Kannin by disqualification when Lucy repeatedly rammed Pearl’s head into the guard rails.

Devil’s Reject pinned Flexicon with the THUNDERKISS.

Aphrodi-Tina defeated Demiah the Devil’s Daughter by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

Herman Glopp re-captured the HWA Tri-Planetary title from Victor E. when he pinned Victor with the GLOPP DROP.

Ambrosia successfully defended the HWA Ladies title when she pinned Bootylicious Bertha with the SNEDEKER SLAM.

And in the main event, King Kobra became the new HWA Heavyweight champion when he made Armageddon submit to the KOBRA KROSS KLUTCH.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
The Jousting Fields; Carillon

February 21, 2125

Everything Nice defeated the Sisters of Pain when Sugah pinned Jenna Love with the EYE CANDY.

Halle Burton defeated Alison Chainz by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

Bayne made Slap Stick submit to the BAYNE-BREAKER.

Holly Pena pinned Colly Flower with the PICANTE.

Val Kira pinned Val Hailey by way of VAL KIRA’S RIDE, then scooted out of the ring and ran out of the building through the crowd before Val Hailey could recover enough to attempt to capture her and take her back to Val Halla.

Scott Creed pinned Dewie Cheatham via MY SACRIFICE.

Dustin DeWind made Billy B. submit to a rear-naked choke.

Harvard Yale pinned Ace Endehole with the IVY LEAGUE.

Abercrombie Bitch pinned Shannon Egans with the 69 DRIVER.

Esther-Jenn can finally call themselves HWA Ladies Tag Team champions as they defeated ‘Nuff’s Enough to win the belts when Esther pinned Justine Nuff with the PMS.

And in the main event, the Annihilators successfully held onto the HWA Tag Team titles, defeating the Killer Whales when Willy was counted out due to a springboard moonsault to the floor by Krogon.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
Himalian Crystal Quarry; Himalia, Jupiter

February 27, 2125

* The C&C Connection defeated the Sisters of Pain when Jenna Love was counted out.

* Everything Nice defeated the Walk of Fame when Sugah pinned Barbie Blaze with the EYE CANDY.

* Holly Pena defeated Shannon Egans when Shannon was counted out due to a springboard moonsault to the floor.

* Lucy Kannin pinned Val Hailey by LIGHT THE FUSE. As Val Hailey lay on the mat, she was seen smiling, as if she wasn’t worried about winning or losing this particular match. What could it mean?

* The Queen Bees defeated the Jackson Jills when Beatrice pinned Julie with the DRONE’S DEMISE.

* Dingo defeated Big Poppa Roach by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

* Pearl E. Gates pinned Val Kira with the GATES OF HEAVEN. After Pearl left the ring and Val Kira began to get to her feet, a giant net dropped down on her. As she struggled to try and untangle herself from the net, Val Hailey ran back into the ring and dragged her ensnared sister out of the ring and tossed her into a “paddy wagon”-style chariot that was waiting in the parking lot, locked the door, and then raced through the sky and out of sight.

* Flexicon made Scott Creed submit to MR. OLYMPIA.

* Victor E. pinned Gangurru with the VICTOR E. PRESS.

* Esther-Jenn successfully defended the HWA Ladies Tag Team titles, defeating ‘Nuff’s Enough when Tuffy Nuff was counted out after chasing Esther around the ring when Esther entered the ring to save Jenn from being pinned by way of SHO’ ‘NUFF.

* And in the main event, King Kobra is still the HWA Heavyweight champion when he made Armageddon submit to the KOBRA KROSS KLUTCH.