Post by Joel Pole on Nov 13, 2022 19:06:11 GMT -5
WPW #27: CLASH AT CASTLE CORNETTE on Pay-Per-View & FiteTV
Welcome to World Powerhouse Wrestling! Welcome to Louisville, Kentucky! Welcome to the home of James E. Cornette, Castle Cornette! Welcome to CLASH AT CASTLE CORNETTE, LIVE on Pay-Per-View and FiteTV! Every single attendee here tonight was blindfolded and put onto a bus in downtown Louisville and brought to the WPW Flex Zone erected here on the grounds of Castle Cornette (that way the marks still don’t know how to get to and from his house). We have a huge night of action ahead.
IN-RING SEGMENT: The skirl of bagpipes heralds WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper to the stage. He welcomes the crowd and apologizes for the blindfolded bus ride. Piper says, “I have invited a special guest to watch the show with me tonight–” Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle enters the stage to a huge pop from the crowd. Kurt Angle just spent a month in a Japanese jail when Danhausen tricked the Japanese police into extraditing him under false pretenses. Danhausen used the opportunity to claim Interim Commissionership for the past several weeks which did pay off in a week-long reign as Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion. Piper invites Angle to his private box to witness the opening contest which is bound to be a doozy, one of our main events of the evening, the reason for the ominous SCAFFOLD to be erected over the ring right now.
PRE-MATCH: During WPW’S THE BEEFENING, Jim Cornette and his Cult of Cornette (consisting of Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion King Claudio Castagnoli, “Cocky Khosrow” The Iron Sheik, and Bob Backlund, a.k.a. “Hung Hotchkiss” Featherbottom) were returning to their locker room when they discovered it was being ransacked by a mob of raccoons, led by a Giant, Mutant Raccoon. Since then, this Giant Raccoon has been causing grief around Castle Cornette: digging up his yard, chewing through his action figure boxes, and according to footage provided by Jim’s neighbor “Stunning” Steve Bradshaw, cavorting and gallivanting with Jim’s wife Stacey (and getting raccoon fur in the filter of his hot tub)! Jim proclaimed that, “This will end, and this will end violently, I’m vibratin’!” and ordered Commissioner Piper to construct a SCAFFOLD in the WPW Flex Zone. “No More Mr. Nice Guy” brings Jim Cornette down the aisle, accompanied by Hotchkiss Featherbottom (a perpetually concussed Bob Backlund) as his cornerman. “Night Bandits (The Raccoon Song)” by Anders Nielson plays and the Giant, Mutant Raccoon crawls out of a trashcan backstage and he lumbers his way out though the curtain. As he makes his way down the aisle, he’s suddenly joined by several other raccoons that are emerging from various parts of the Flex Zone. Cornette is ready to put an end to this malarkey. The two competitors ascend the scaffolding and face off. Will Jim even make it Sheiky’s title match later tonight? Ding ding ding.
POST-MATCH: Jim Cornette is down on his belly gripping the scaffold tight like a scared, little baby, but he’s won. He’s screaming and crowing about his greatness while Bob Backlund scurries up the trellis to excavate his manager. It is a sad scene down below, however, as all the horde of raccoons is huddling around the Giant, Mutant Raccoon. His mutant chest is still rising up and down with his breaths, though slowly. The entourage of raccoons shuffle their master out of the ring and carry him off into the woods around Castle Cornette. Maybe there is a Giant, Mutant Veterinary Medical Facility on the outskirts of town. Corny is still a little banged up, will he be able to perform his managerial duties in our other main event this evening?
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: WPW Commissioner Roddy Piper and Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle are sitting together in Piper’s private box in the Flex Zone. A waiter comes to take their drink order, Piper requests a rum & coke and Kurt Angle requests a glass of skim milk and the waiter disappears. Roddy Piper says, “Kurt, I got a business proposition for you.” Kurt Angle says, “I’m listening.”
PRE-MATCH: Before WPW’s THE BEEFENING, A.J. Styles challenged anyone who could show ambition to the be the best, and Davey Richards, head trainer for #TeamAmbition answered the call. A.J. Styles defeated Richards that night, but another member of Team Ambition has decided to step up and answer the challenge, none other than Warhorse. Warhorse makes his way to the ring first, accompanied by The American Wolf Davey Richards. Warhorse is ready to prove that he can hang with the best in the world. A.J. Styles enters next and is confident that he can squash Team Ambition handily. The two shake hands and the match begins.
A.J. Styles wears Warhorse down until Warhorse leaves the ring to escape. Styles follows and Warhorse slams Styles face first into the announce table. . . . Warhorse goes for the brainbuster on knee but Styles counters . . . . Styles hooks in the Calf Crusher but Warhorse makes it to the ropes . . . . Styles with a Spinal Tap and goes for a pin but Warhorse kicks out. Styles hooks in the Calf Killer again, Warhorse is screaming and makes it to the ropes but it’s really taken a toll on Warhorse’s leg. Styles pulls him back to center and hooks it in once again! Warhorse’s screams are echoing throughout the grounds of Castle Cornette. Warhorse twists his body to force Styles through the ropes to the outside. Warhorse tries to capitalize and hits his Double Stomp off apron to the outside on Styles. It probably did more damage to Warhorse’s injured leg than anything. Warhorse tosses Styles back inside. Warhorse hits his DEATH BY DOUBLESTOMP and goes for the cover but cannot get the 3. Warhorse is making a comeback! Horsepower Slam on Styles. . . .Styles hits a discus lariat and sends Warhorse to the outside. . . . Styles hits a Phenomenal DDT . . . . Styles goes for the pin and Richards is going crazy on the outside, Warhorse kicks out. . . . Running Horsepowerbomb on Styles and a cover but The Phenomenal One kicks out. This time it’s AJ who smashes Warhorse’s face into the announce table. Styles hooks in the Calf Killer one more time. Warhorse is on the brink of submission. He can’t have anything left. Wait, where’s the referee? Suddenly Davey Richards is in the ring and smashes A.J. Styles in the face with some brass knuckles. Styles is out. Richards retreats to the outside and tells Warhorse to “Go for it, kid. Just take it.” And Warhorse begrudgingly covers Styles as the referee himself is recovering and counts the 1-2-3. Ding ding ding.
POST-MATCH: Warhorse is clearly upset with this victory. This is not how he wanted to win. He’s asking Davey Richards, “Why? Why did you do this?” Richards replies, “I did what I had to do, kid. You weren’t going to make it.” Davey Richards walks away leaving Warhorse in the ring with his fallen opponent, A.J. Styles who is regaining consciousness after the blow with Richards’ brass knuckles. Warhorse helps Styles to his feet and shakes his hand. There seems to be some dissension among #TeamAmbition.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Back in Commissioner Piper’s private box, the waiter is making their drinks. He pours almost a whole bottle of Extra Strength Laxative (with a picture of Danhausen’s face on it!) into the glass of milk intended for Kurt Angle and goes to serve the men. The two Commissioners pay no attention to the waiter as he hands them their drinks and Piper says to Kurt Angle, “Kurt, I want to get World Powerhouse Wrestling back on the air, how am I going to do that?” The two men take a big, long sip of their respective beverages.
LOCKER ROOM SEGMENT: D-Meditaion-Y is back in the locker room. Danielson is trying to rally his group, Matt Sydal, Leyla Hirsch, and newest addition Diamond Dallas Page. Danielson says, “Tonight is the most important night ever for D-Meditation-X–” and DDP, clearing his throat, interjects, “D-Meditation-Y, Bryan.” Danielson responds, “Yeah, right, right. Y.” DDP says, “Why? Because it’s more than yoga!” Danielson rolls his eyes and continues, “It’s the most important night ever for… our group. That’s because–” DDP cuts him off again, “That’s because I’ll be putting down that ungrateful dog, the former enforcer of D-Meditation-Y and the weakest link in our chain.” Danielson says, “I was referring to the #1 Contender Match I have tonight with Big Daddy Drew McIntyre. I’m going to need all hands on deck. We need the whole team together, so I expect you Matt, and you Leyla, to be at ringside for me, not with DDP.” Dallas Page says, “Hold on a minute, I need them in my corner because you know that big fat, idiot Keith Lee is probably hanging around Jake Something. They begin to squabble about these matters and Matt Sydal realizes the cameraman probably shouldn’t be documenting this friendly agreement between loving teammates and brutishly escorts the camera back into the hallway.
PRE-MATCH: Brian Pillman Jr. somehow wrestled his long-deceased father at WPW’s THE BEEFENING. Strange, yes. But stranger was the match’s afterbirth where, right before our eyes, Brian Pillman Sr. seemed to transform into Malakai Black and his brutal spinning heel kick proved fatal for your BPJ. What did any of this mean? BPJ sought answers, first going to his father’s grave site. Meanwhile, Malakai was sending cryptic messages to the young, lost soul and implying that the soul of Brian Pillman Sr. was being held hostage by Black. Is any of this true? Is it just an illusion? We’re interested to see what Malakai is truly capable of and whether or not BPJ can withstand the mind games and mental assault. Brian Pillman Jr. enters to his father’s old entrance music, “Rocket” by Def Leppard. The lights go out and Malakai begins his march to the ring accompanied by Brian Pillman Sr. allegedly. Pillman Sr. is wearing a black hood that obstructs his face and head. Is it really him? What is going on? The men take their corners and the ref calls for the bell.
BPJ sends Malkai to the turnbuckle but Malkai returns with a thundering lariat sending young Pillman spinning through the air. Malakai Black hits his OWARI DEATH FOOT STOMP but can’t get the early 3 on BPJ. . . . . Malakai hits his OWARI STOMP again and can’t get the pin. BPJ scatters to the outside. . . . Malakai asks Pillman Sr. to hand him a steel chair and he does. The ref tries to stop him but he smacks BPJ with the chair and then hands it to the referee. The ref, confused, declines to DQ Black. Malakai throws BPJ back inside and hits his roundhouse high kick and BPJ can’t get his shoulder up. 1-2-3.
POST-MATCH: Malakai Black shoves the referee through the ropes to the outside as Brian Pillman Sr. ascends the steel steps and enters the ring. Malakai Black is shouting, “DO IT! DO IT NOW! FINISH THE JOB!” The hooded Brian Pillman Sr. begins choking the life out of his son in the middle of the ring. WPW officials are storming the ringside area to stop this assault. Malakai is cackling loudly as the referees and officials get close to the ring, the turnbuckles erupt with jets of flame pouring high into the night and the ring ropes have now caught fire, leaving a wall of impenetrable flame between sanity and the devilish beatdown happening in the ring. Malakai bellows, “ENOUGH!” The spotlights go out and when they return seconds later, the 3 men in the ring have disappeared and the officials are frantically spraying fire extinguishers on the ring ropes.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Commissioner Piper says to Kurt Angle, “Kurt, I’ve told you what I would like out of this business relationship. What is your counter?” Kurt looks at Piper and says, “We do have a deal with truTV and all, I see what you are proposing, but I think–” Kurt looks worried as his stomach begins churning, “I think there’s something good here, but–” Kurt looks even more worried, “But there are a few things that Dynamo Pro will need in the deal, excuse me, I suddenly need to use the little Olympian’s room–” Kurt gets up and searches wildly for the closest toilet humanly possible.
PRE-MATCH: The beef has been broiling for a long time between these two men. Jake Something, former enforcer of D-Meditation-X, was betrayed by DDP and then replaced by him in the group. It was this sudden betrayal that has fueled the fire in this feud. Jake makes his entrance first and is accompanied by Dynamo Pro’s Keith Lee who has been feuding with D-Meditation-Y as of late. Jake Something, Keith Lee, and Big Daddy Drew defeated D-Meditation-Y in a Six-Man Tag Match at Dynamo Pro’s NO LAUGHING MATTER pay-per-view. “WHATS MY NAME?” Jake Something makes his entrance with Limitless Keith Lee in his corner. Is there any dissension among the members of D-Meditation-Y? Who will, or will not, accompany DDP to the ring. Their theme hits and it appears that Leyla Hirsch is trailing DDP to the ring. No Sydal, no Danielson. Interesting turn of events. Will DDP have enough manpower in his corner to counter The Limitless One? Let’s get this one underway!
DDP hits Jake with an elbow to open things up, Jake shouts “WHAT’S MY NAME?” and shoves Dallas Page. . . . Jake hits a Fire Thunder Driver and goes for the pin but Leyla Hirsch is throwing handfuls of Agate Worry Stones at the referee distracting him from counting the pin. . . . DDP with a discus clothesline and jawbreaker, Jake counters . . . . DDP hits a russian leg sweep and Jake Something scrambles to the outside, Jake grabs DDP and hits the Something Bomb through the time-keepers table. The ref threatens to disqualify Jake but Keith Lee talks the referee out of it. . . . Jake goes for a short-arm lariat but DDP ducks it . . . DDP leaves the ring but crawls helplessly back inside. . . . DDP and Jake go back and forth, Jake hits another Fire Thunder Driver. . . . Jake hits the MFKR and goes for the pin but Leyla Hirsch hops up on the apron. Keith Lee climbs onto the apron in protest but the referee goes to stop Lee from interfering, meanwhile Hirsch storms the ring and smashes Jake in the head with a Tourmaline Obelisk, busting him wide open. When the referee realizes his folly he calls for the bell and Keith Lee chases DDP and Hirsch from the ring before they do any further damage to Jake Something.
POST-MATCH: Jake Something can claim victory but will soon want to settle the score between himself and Dallas Page before too long. He may need to get creative. Keith Lee helps Jake back to the locker room after DDP retreated with Leyla Hirsch. Does that mean Matt Sydal will be in Bryan Danielson’s corner this evening?
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: WPW Commissioner Piper has been sitting there waiting for Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle to return from the restroom, what could be taking so long?
PRE-MATCH: Little needs to be said about this next contest. Ever since Matt Riddle defeated Danhausen for the WPW Boys Championship at WPW’s THE BEEFENING he’s had a target on his head from Rohit Raju. Rohit has been appearing on Dynamo Pro’s The Zoo on truTV and has been a thorn in Matt Riddle’s side the whole time. This culminated in Rohit breaking into Riddle’s house while he was away and smashing his priceless bong collection. Rohit Raju makes his entrance to a chorus of boos from the crowd. He climbs the corner turnbuckle and flings the sweat off his chest to the unlucky fans in the front row. “Brooooooo!” WPW Boys Champ Matt Riddle makes his entrance, tossing out handfuls of pre-rolled joints to the fans in attendance. What a babyface. Riddle is furious about his collection of glass waterpipes’ demise and is going to shatter Rohit’s hopes for the WPW Boys Title. Ding ding ding.
Matt Riddle opens things up with a Super Bro Punch but Rohit dodges and hits a jumping flatliner. Rohit Dragon Whips His Tail but Riddle dodges and hits a rolling gutwrench suplex. Riddle hits a Brostroyer that sends Rohit to the outside. He has no other choice but to crawl back inside. Matt Riddle hooks in the BROMISSION but Rohit Raju, flailing wildly, gets to the ropes. Riddle hits a cross armbreaker and goes for the pin but Rohit kicks out. Riddle hooks in the BROMISSION one more time but Rohit thumbs Matt Riddle in the eye to break the hold. Matt Riddle climbs the turnbuckle but Rohit recovers quickly and tosses Riddle down hard to the mat below. Rohit, sensing a moment of weakness, hits his MUMBAI DRIVE BY but cannot secure the 3-count on the Boys Champ. Rohit hits a Dragon Stomp. . . . . Riddle hits a Super Bro Punch sending Rohit to the outside. Riddle goes up top again and hits a beautiful flying dropkick off the top rope and follows it up with a series of Brostroyers, Rohit kicks out of another pinning attempt. Riddle tests his luck again, planting Rohit on the corner turnbuckle but Rohit pokes Riddle in the eye and bites his nipple sending him crashing backwards off the post. . . . . Matt Riddle out of nowhere, hits the BRO 2 SLEEP on Rohit Raju and that’s all she wrote. 1-2-3.
POST-MATCH: “Brooooooo!” Matt Riddle has done it, he shut up that loudmouth Rohit Raju, at least for tonight. Matt Riddle holds his WPW Boys Title belt up high, but not as high as he’s going to be later. He’s lighting up a doobie before he even makes it through the curtain. Rohit Raju is slinking away in defeat, but who will be next in line to challenge for the Boys Championship?
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: “I’m back!” and Commissioner Piper’s companion has returned from the facilities, though something is different. Maybe Roddy Piper had one too many rum drinks, but he doesn’t seem to notice that it appears to be Danhausen dressed in Kurt Angle’s red, white, and blue singlet, gold medals around his neck, and a very low-quality bald cap on his head. “I’m back! I’m back! It is I, Kurt Olympics, back from the commode.” Piper says, “How about that Matt Riddle kid, he’s quite the star.” “Yes, yes. I agree-hausen.” Piper looks confused, “Huh?” “The agreement! The agreement! While I was on the sh*tter I thought about the proposal you made. Yes, yes, and yes. It sounds great. All of it. Let’s do it!” Danhausen extends his hand and Roddy Piper shakes it. “It’s a done deal then,” Piper confirms and Danhausen retreats while Piper isn’t looking, taking a tray of appetizers with him.
PRE-MATCH: Bryan Danielson, self-proclaimed leader of D-Meditation-Y, has surpassed every challenge put in his way in World Powerhouse Wrestling, though much can be said for the group he has surrounded himself with and their cheating, rule breaking ways. His leadership of his faction has only been in question recently since DDP joined the group and it seems that Leyla Hirsch may have sided with Dallas Page, does that mean Matt Sydal will remain loyal to his team mate? D-Meditation-Y’s theme plays and Danielson enters and he is indeed accompanied by Matt Sydal alone. Other than World Champ Macho Man, there may not be a bigger fan favorite than Big Daddy Drew McIntyre. Big Daddy Drew defeated Tony Nese and Ethan Page in a Triple Threat Match at WPW’S THE BEEFENING and with that victory challenged Danielson for the #1 contendership. Both men would take this company in two entirely different directions, what do these men have planned for the future of WPW? Let’s find out who is next in line for the World Title!
Danielson and Big Daddy Drew go back and forth in the opening exchanges of this contest . . . . Danielson chokes Drew and hits a missile dropkick . . . . Danielson hooks in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING but Big Daddy Drew powers out . . . Drew hits his DADDY-DT finisher and a second one! Big Daddy Drew hits an Ego Trip and a Big Daddy Boot sends Danielson to the outside. What a pop! Drew slams Daneilson on the ring apron and goes for the pin but Bryan kicks out. Big Daddy Drew climbs to the top rope and hits a beautiful flying crossbody off the top onto Danielson. . . . Danielson hits a discus elbow smash and a dragon suplex . . . . Drew hits a big powerbomb on The American Dragon. . . . Danielson flees to the outside and Drew gives chase only for Matt Sydal to blindside Big Daddy Drew with a Citrine Sphere that he shoves back into the crotch of his tights. . . . Danielson hits a tiger suplex but Drew dodges the European uppercut . . . . Drew leaves the ring, Danielson grabs the Citrine Sphere out of Sydal’s crotch and clocks Drew with it again. The blood is streaming down his face now . . . . Danielson goes for a pin but Drew kicks out . . . . Danielson hits his running knee and that may have put Big Daddy Drew’s lights out. . . . Drew makes a comeback and hits the DADDY-DT again and he secures his spot as #1 Contender!
POST-MATCH: Big Daddy Drew is the #1 contender for the World Championship! What a performance! Danielson likely could have held on to victory if he had his entire entourage at ringside. This can’t bode well for D-Meditation-Y going forward. Big Daddy Drew has gold in his eyes and is looking forward to proving his worth against whoever holds the World Title when his time comes.
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: At the WPW Interview Set, Jim Cornette is there with the Nugenix Express, Bob Backlund and The Iron Sheik. Corny says to Sheiky, “Sorry, Khosrow, my match with that blasted Giant, Mutant Raccoon really took it out of me. I think I tweaked my knee on the way down and was bit by one of those varmints. I won’t be able to accompany you to ringside tonight, but I’m sending the next best thing. Claudio–” King Claudio, reigning Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion, enters the frame and tells Khosrow, “Don’t worry, Sheiky, the Cult of Cornette will stick together.”
PRE-MATCH: The Iron Sheik won several big pay-per-view matches, this coupled with the fact that tonight’s program emanates from Jim Cornette’s own home, it was fitting that Macho Man accepted Khosrow’s challenge for the WPW World Championship. The Nugenix Express theme (another Midnight Express, Giorgio Moroder rip-off) plays and The Iron Sheik Khosrow Vaziri makes his entrance alongside his tag team partner “Hung Hotchkiss” Bob Backlund and Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion King Claudio Castagnoli. The crowd pops huge for WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage appearing through the curtain being escorted by the lovely “Miss Elizabeth” Lanny Poffo wearing a stunning, backless pink dress that is split up the side. He mounts the turnbuckle and holds his WPW World Title belt up high. Has Sheiky been taking the new Nugenix Thermo in preparation for tonight?
Macho Man goes for a suplex but Sheiky won’t leave his feet and chokes Macho on the ropes . . . . Macho hits a neckbreaker clothesline and goes for the pin, kick out . . . . Macho hits a Flying Axe Handle and knee drop on Sheiky . . . . Sheiky gets Macho in a Boston Crab but Macho gets to the ropes. Sheiky stomps the back and hooks in his CAMEL CLUTCH but he didn’t take his Nugenix Thermo early enough for this to do it’s potential damage. Macho is able to free himself from the submission hold. Sheiky tosses Macho between the ropes and follows. Macho grabs Khosrow and smashes him into the announce table. The ref is telling them to return to the ring but Macho has snapped, he’s just losing his mind on Khosrow on the outside. He’s shouting nonsense as he’s smashing Sheiky into the timekeeper’s table repeatedly. The ref calls for the bell. Ding ding ding ding ding.
POST-MATCH: “How dare you?” Macho shouts, “What were you thinking? You’re gonna pay!” Macho has suddenly gone nuts on Khosrow Vaziri and the officials are trying to regain control. Sheiky’s music stops playing and that’s when “No More Mr. Nice Guy” brings a hobbling and angry Jim Cornette down to ringside. “This isn’t fair! Khosrow was screwed out of the belt!” And the Flex Zone becomes unglued when WPW Commissioner Roddy Piper’s music begins to play. Piper comes out to the stage and says, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve got some exciting announcements to make that will clear a few things up here this evening. First of all, World Powerhouse Wrestling and Dynamo Pro will be merging into one, unified wrestling organization, known as DYNAMO POWERHOUSE WRESTLING! Secondly, Power Hour is returning to MTV Networks starting NEXT WEEK! Sorry, Kurt Angle, but “The Zoo” is officially closed! Third, the main event of the DEBUT of DPW POWER HOUR on MTV will be a rematch between Macho Man and Iron Sheik for the WPW World Title! But don’t get settled in, boys, because in one month will be Dynamo Powerhouse Wrestling’s debut PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT and the main event will determine the UNDISPUTED DYNAMO POWERHOUSE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!” What a series of bombshells from WPW Commissioner Roddy Piper. Suddenly Kurt Angle’s theme song plays and he comes shuffling out to the stage with his pants around his ankles and a string of toilet paper stuck to his shoe. He’s mouthing, “What? What happened?” He’s not sure, but he should suspect some foul play-hausen.
DP #12 - NO LAUGHING MATTER PPV
WPW #27 - CLASH AT CASTLE CORNETTE
DPW #40 - POWER HOUR
DPW #41 - POWER HOUR
DPW #42 - POWER HOUR
DPW #43 - PAY-PER-VIEW TBN
Welcome to World Powerhouse Wrestling! Welcome to Louisville, Kentucky! Welcome to the home of James E. Cornette, Castle Cornette! Welcome to CLASH AT CASTLE CORNETTE, LIVE on Pay-Per-View and FiteTV! Every single attendee here tonight was blindfolded and put onto a bus in downtown Louisville and brought to the WPW Flex Zone erected here on the grounds of Castle Cornette (that way the marks still don’t know how to get to and from his house). We have a huge night of action ahead.
IN-RING SEGMENT: The skirl of bagpipes heralds WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper to the stage. He welcomes the crowd and apologizes for the blindfolded bus ride. Piper says, “I have invited a special guest to watch the show with me tonight–” Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle enters the stage to a huge pop from the crowd. Kurt Angle just spent a month in a Japanese jail when Danhausen tricked the Japanese police into extraditing him under false pretenses. Danhausen used the opportunity to claim Interim Commissionership for the past several weeks which did pay off in a week-long reign as Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion. Piper invites Angle to his private box to witness the opening contest which is bound to be a doozy, one of our main events of the evening, the reason for the ominous SCAFFOLD to be erected over the ring right now.
PRE-MATCH: During WPW’S THE BEEFENING, Jim Cornette and his Cult of Cornette (consisting of Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion King Claudio Castagnoli, “Cocky Khosrow” The Iron Sheik, and Bob Backlund, a.k.a. “Hung Hotchkiss” Featherbottom) were returning to their locker room when they discovered it was being ransacked by a mob of raccoons, led by a Giant, Mutant Raccoon. Since then, this Giant Raccoon has been causing grief around Castle Cornette: digging up his yard, chewing through his action figure boxes, and according to footage provided by Jim’s neighbor “Stunning” Steve Bradshaw, cavorting and gallivanting with Jim’s wife Stacey (and getting raccoon fur in the filter of his hot tub)! Jim proclaimed that, “This will end, and this will end violently, I’m vibratin’!” and ordered Commissioner Piper to construct a SCAFFOLD in the WPW Flex Zone. “No More Mr. Nice Guy” brings Jim Cornette down the aisle, accompanied by Hotchkiss Featherbottom (a perpetually concussed Bob Backlund) as his cornerman. “Night Bandits (The Raccoon Song)” by Anders Nielson plays and the Giant, Mutant Raccoon crawls out of a trashcan backstage and he lumbers his way out though the curtain. As he makes his way down the aisle, he’s suddenly joined by several other raccoons that are emerging from various parts of the Flex Zone. Cornette is ready to put an end to this malarkey. The two competitors ascend the scaffolding and face off. Will Jim even make it Sheiky’s title match later tonight? Ding ding ding.
SCAFFOLD MATCH
Jim Cornette (0-1)
w/ Hotchkiss Featherbottom
vs.
Giant, Mutant Raccoon
w/ several raccoons
High above the ring atop the scaffold these two competitors square off, Cornette goes for a body slam but the Giant, Mutant Raccoon has too much bulk and animal power. The Raccoon chokes and claws at Corny. They shift over towards the edge of the scaffold and Corny slams the Giant Raccoon’s face into the steel railings. Corny with a hip toss on the creature. The Raccoon attempts to piledrive Corny on the scaffold but Corny retaliates with a back body drop and the Raccoon slams down hard. All the raccoons are working themselves into a frenzy. Corny shouts down to Backlund at ringside and hollers for his racquet. Hotchkiss obliges and tosses the tennis racquet up to its master and Corny winds up. Home run! Corny blasts the Giant, Mutant Raccoon in the head with the tennis racquet. He goes flying off of the SCAFFOLD and crashing down to the ring below. Ding ding ding.Result: Jim Cornette d. Giant, Mutant Raccoon in a Scaffold Match after hitting him with his tennis racquet and falling off of the scaffold.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: WPW Commissioner Roddy Piper and Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle are sitting together in Piper’s private box in the Flex Zone. A waiter comes to take their drink order, Piper requests a rum & coke and Kurt Angle requests a glass of skim milk and the waiter disappears. Roddy Piper says, “Kurt, I got a business proposition for you.” Kurt Angle says, “I’m listening.”
PRE-MATCH: Before WPW’s THE BEEFENING, A.J. Styles challenged anyone who could show ambition to the be the best, and Davey Richards, head trainer for #TeamAmbition answered the call. A.J. Styles defeated Richards that night, but another member of Team Ambition has decided to step up and answer the challenge, none other than Warhorse. Warhorse makes his way to the ring first, accompanied by The American Wolf Davey Richards. Warhorse is ready to prove that he can hang with the best in the world. A.J. Styles enters next and is confident that he can squash Team Ambition handily. The two shake hands and the match begins.
AMBITION CHALLENGE
A.J. Styles (8-2)
vs.
Warhorse (4-4)
w/ Davey Richards
Result: Warhorse d. A.J. Styles by pinfall following interference by Davey Richards
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Back in Commissioner Piper’s private box, the waiter is making their drinks. He pours almost a whole bottle of Extra Strength Laxative (with a picture of Danhausen’s face on it!) into the glass of milk intended for Kurt Angle and goes to serve the men. The two Commissioners pay no attention to the waiter as he hands them their drinks and Piper says to Kurt Angle, “Kurt, I want to get World Powerhouse Wrestling back on the air, how am I going to do that?” The two men take a big, long sip of their respective beverages.
LOCKER ROOM SEGMENT: D-Meditaion-Y is back in the locker room. Danielson is trying to rally his group, Matt Sydal, Leyla Hirsch, and newest addition Diamond Dallas Page. Danielson says, “Tonight is the most important night ever for D-Meditation-X–” and DDP, clearing his throat, interjects, “D-Meditation-Y, Bryan.” Danielson responds, “Yeah, right, right. Y.” DDP says, “Why? Because it’s more than yoga!” Danielson rolls his eyes and continues, “It’s the most important night ever for… our group. That’s because–” DDP cuts him off again, “That’s because I’ll be putting down that ungrateful dog, the former enforcer of D-Meditation-Y and the weakest link in our chain.” Danielson says, “I was referring to the #1 Contender Match I have tonight with Big Daddy Drew McIntyre. I’m going to need all hands on deck. We need the whole team together, so I expect you Matt, and you Leyla, to be at ringside for me, not with DDP.” Dallas Page says, “Hold on a minute, I need them in my corner because you know that big fat, idiot Keith Lee is probably hanging around Jake Something. They begin to squabble about these matters and Matt Sydal realizes the cameraman probably shouldn’t be documenting this friendly agreement between loving teammates and brutishly escorts the camera back into the hallway.
PRE-MATCH: Brian Pillman Jr. somehow wrestled his long-deceased father at WPW’s THE BEEFENING. Strange, yes. But stranger was the match’s afterbirth where, right before our eyes, Brian Pillman Sr. seemed to transform into Malakai Black and his brutal spinning heel kick proved fatal for your BPJ. What did any of this mean? BPJ sought answers, first going to his father’s grave site. Meanwhile, Malakai was sending cryptic messages to the young, lost soul and implying that the soul of Brian Pillman Sr. was being held hostage by Black. Is any of this true? Is it just an illusion? We’re interested to see what Malakai is truly capable of and whether or not BPJ can withstand the mind games and mental assault. Brian Pillman Jr. enters to his father’s old entrance music, “Rocket” by Def Leppard. The lights go out and Malakai begins his march to the ring accompanied by Brian Pillman Sr. allegedly. Pillman Sr. is wearing a black hood that obstructs his face and head. Is it really him? What is going on? The men take their corners and the ref calls for the bell.
SPECIAL ATTRACTION
Malakai Black
w/ Brian Pillman Sr.
vs.
Brian Pillman Jr. (3-6)
Result: Malakai Black d. Brian Pillman Jr. by pinfall following roundhouse high kick
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Commissioner Piper says to Kurt Angle, “Kurt, I’ve told you what I would like out of this business relationship. What is your counter?” Kurt looks at Piper and says, “We do have a deal with truTV and all, I see what you are proposing, but I think–” Kurt looks worried as his stomach begins churning, “I think there’s something good here, but–” Kurt looks even more worried, “But there are a few things that Dynamo Pro will need in the deal, excuse me, I suddenly need to use the little Olympian’s room–” Kurt gets up and searches wildly for the closest toilet humanly possible.
PRE-MATCH: The beef has been broiling for a long time between these two men. Jake Something, former enforcer of D-Meditation-X, was betrayed by DDP and then replaced by him in the group. It was this sudden betrayal that has fueled the fire in this feud. Jake makes his entrance first and is accompanied by Dynamo Pro’s Keith Lee who has been feuding with D-Meditation-Y as of late. Jake Something, Keith Lee, and Big Daddy Drew defeated D-Meditation-Y in a Six-Man Tag Match at Dynamo Pro’s NO LAUGHING MATTER pay-per-view. “WHATS MY NAME?” Jake Something makes his entrance with Limitless Keith Lee in his corner. Is there any dissension among the members of D-Meditation-Y? Who will, or will not, accompany DDP to the ring. Their theme hits and it appears that Leyla Hirsch is trailing DDP to the ring. No Sydal, no Danielson. Interesting turn of events. Will DDP have enough manpower in his corner to counter The Limitless One? Let’s get this one underway!
GRUDGE MATCH
Jake Something (6-4)
w/ Keith Lee
vs.
Diamond Dallas Page (4-4)
w/ Leyla Hirsch
DDP hits Jake with an elbow to open things up, Jake shouts “WHAT’S MY NAME?” and shoves Dallas Page. . . . Jake hits a Fire Thunder Driver and goes for the pin but Leyla Hirsch is throwing handfuls of Agate Worry Stones at the referee distracting him from counting the pin. . . . DDP with a discus clothesline and jawbreaker, Jake counters . . . . DDP hits a russian leg sweep and Jake Something scrambles to the outside, Jake grabs DDP and hits the Something Bomb through the time-keepers table. The ref threatens to disqualify Jake but Keith Lee talks the referee out of it. . . . Jake goes for a short-arm lariat but DDP ducks it . . . DDP leaves the ring but crawls helplessly back inside. . . . DDP and Jake go back and forth, Jake hits another Fire Thunder Driver. . . . Jake hits the MFKR and goes for the pin but Leyla Hirsch hops up on the apron. Keith Lee climbs onto the apron in protest but the referee goes to stop Lee from interfering, meanwhile Hirsch storms the ring and smashes Jake in the head with a Tourmaline Obelisk, busting him wide open. When the referee realizes his folly he calls for the bell and Keith Lee chases DDP and Hirsch from the ring before they do any further damage to Jake Something.
Result: Jake Something d. Diamond Dallas Page by disqualification following interference by Leyla Hirsch
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: WPW Commissioner Piper has been sitting there waiting for Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle to return from the restroom, what could be taking so long?
PRE-MATCH: Little needs to be said about this next contest. Ever since Matt Riddle defeated Danhausen for the WPW Boys Championship at WPW’s THE BEEFENING he’s had a target on his head from Rohit Raju. Rohit has been appearing on Dynamo Pro’s The Zoo on truTV and has been a thorn in Matt Riddle’s side the whole time. This culminated in Rohit breaking into Riddle’s house while he was away and smashing his priceless bong collection. Rohit Raju makes his entrance to a chorus of boos from the crowd. He climbs the corner turnbuckle and flings the sweat off his chest to the unlucky fans in the front row. “Brooooooo!” WPW Boys Champ Matt Riddle makes his entrance, tossing out handfuls of pre-rolled joints to the fans in attendance. What a babyface. Riddle is furious about his collection of glass waterpipes’ demise and is going to shatter Rohit’s hopes for the WPW Boys Title. Ding ding ding.
WPW BOYS CHAMPIONSHIP
WPW Boys Champion
Matt Riddle (3-1)
vs.
Rohit Raju
Result: Matt Riddle d. Rohit Raju by pinfall following BRO 2 SLEEP to retain the WPW Boys Championship
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: “I’m back!” and Commissioner Piper’s companion has returned from the facilities, though something is different. Maybe Roddy Piper had one too many rum drinks, but he doesn’t seem to notice that it appears to be Danhausen dressed in Kurt Angle’s red, white, and blue singlet, gold medals around his neck, and a very low-quality bald cap on his head. “I’m back! I’m back! It is I, Kurt Olympics, back from the commode.” Piper says, “How about that Matt Riddle kid, he’s quite the star.” “Yes, yes. I agree-hausen.” Piper looks confused, “Huh?” “The agreement! The agreement! While I was on the sh*tter I thought about the proposal you made. Yes, yes, and yes. It sounds great. All of it. Let’s do it!” Danhausen extends his hand and Roddy Piper shakes it. “It’s a done deal then,” Piper confirms and Danhausen retreats while Piper isn’t looking, taking a tray of appetizers with him.
PRE-MATCH: Bryan Danielson, self-proclaimed leader of D-Meditation-Y, has surpassed every challenge put in his way in World Powerhouse Wrestling, though much can be said for the group he has surrounded himself with and their cheating, rule breaking ways. His leadership of his faction has only been in question recently since DDP joined the group and it seems that Leyla Hirsch may have sided with Dallas Page, does that mean Matt Sydal will remain loyal to his team mate? D-Meditation-Y’s theme plays and Danielson enters and he is indeed accompanied by Matt Sydal alone. Other than World Champ Macho Man, there may not be a bigger fan favorite than Big Daddy Drew McIntyre. Big Daddy Drew defeated Tony Nese and Ethan Page in a Triple Threat Match at WPW’S THE BEEFENING and with that victory challenged Danielson for the #1 contendership. Both men would take this company in two entirely different directions, what do these men have planned for the future of WPW? Let’s find out who is next in line for the World Title!
#1 CONTENDER MATCH
Bryan Danielson (8-5)
w/ Matt Sydal
vs.
Big Daddy Drew (7-5)
Danielson and Big Daddy Drew go back and forth in the opening exchanges of this contest . . . . Danielson chokes Drew and hits a missile dropkick . . . . Danielson hooks in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING but Big Daddy Drew powers out . . . Drew hits his DADDY-DT finisher and a second one! Big Daddy Drew hits an Ego Trip and a Big Daddy Boot sends Danielson to the outside. What a pop! Drew slams Daneilson on the ring apron and goes for the pin but Bryan kicks out. Big Daddy Drew climbs to the top rope and hits a beautiful flying crossbody off the top onto Danielson. . . . Danielson hits a discus elbow smash and a dragon suplex . . . . Drew hits a big powerbomb on The American Dragon. . . . Danielson flees to the outside and Drew gives chase only for Matt Sydal to blindside Big Daddy Drew with a Citrine Sphere that he shoves back into the crotch of his tights. . . . Danielson hits a tiger suplex but Drew dodges the European uppercut . . . . Drew leaves the ring, Danielson grabs the Citrine Sphere out of Sydal’s crotch and clocks Drew with it again. The blood is streaming down his face now . . . . Danielson goes for a pin but Drew kicks out . . . . Danielson hits his running knee and that may have put Big Daddy Drew’s lights out. . . . Drew makes a comeback and hits the DADDY-DT again and he secures his spot as #1 Contender!
Result: Big Daddy Drew d. Bryan Danielson by pinfall following DADDY-DT
BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: At the WPW Interview Set, Jim Cornette is there with the Nugenix Express, Bob Backlund and The Iron Sheik. Corny says to Sheiky, “Sorry, Khosrow, my match with that blasted Giant, Mutant Raccoon really took it out of me. I think I tweaked my knee on the way down and was bit by one of those varmints. I won’t be able to accompany you to ringside tonight, but I’m sending the next best thing. Claudio–” King Claudio, reigning Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion, enters the frame and tells Khosrow, “Don’t worry, Sheiky, the Cult of Cornette will stick together.”
PRE-MATCH: The Iron Sheik won several big pay-per-view matches, this coupled with the fact that tonight’s program emanates from Jim Cornette’s own home, it was fitting that Macho Man accepted Khosrow’s challenge for the WPW World Championship. The Nugenix Express theme (another Midnight Express, Giorgio Moroder rip-off) plays and The Iron Sheik Khosrow Vaziri makes his entrance alongside his tag team partner “Hung Hotchkiss” Bob Backlund and Dynamo Pro Heavyweight Champion King Claudio Castagnoli. The crowd pops huge for WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage appearing through the curtain being escorted by the lovely “Miss Elizabeth” Lanny Poffo wearing a stunning, backless pink dress that is split up the side. He mounts the turnbuckle and holds his WPW World Title belt up high. Has Sheiky been taking the new Nugenix Thermo in preparation for tonight?
WPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
WPW World Champion
Macho Man Randy Savage (14-2)
w/ “Miss Elizabeth” Lanny Poffo
vs.
The Iron Sheik Khosrow Vaziri (3-1)
w/ Hotchkiss Featherbottom & King Claudio
Macho Man goes for a suplex but Sheiky won’t leave his feet and chokes Macho on the ropes . . . . Macho hits a neckbreaker clothesline and goes for the pin, kick out . . . . Macho hits a Flying Axe Handle and knee drop on Sheiky . . . . Sheiky gets Macho in a Boston Crab but Macho gets to the ropes. Sheiky stomps the back and hooks in his CAMEL CLUTCH but he didn’t take his Nugenix Thermo early enough for this to do it’s potential damage. Macho is able to free himself from the submission hold. Sheiky tosses Macho between the ropes and follows. Macho grabs Khosrow and smashes him into the announce table. The ref is telling them to return to the ring but Macho has snapped, he’s just losing his mind on Khosrow on the outside. He’s shouting nonsense as he’s smashing Sheiky into the timekeeper’s table repeatedly. The ref calls for the bell. Ding ding ding ding ding.
Result: The Iron Sheik d. Macho Man Randy Savage by disqualification following a prolonged attack outside the ring
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