World Powerhouse Wrestling

[Joel Pole]

WPW #24: Power Hour on MTV


Welcome to Power Hour on MTV live from the WPW Flex Zone, our portable arena currently erected at The Bronze nightclub in Sunnydale, CA. Our musical guest this week is thrash metal legends Metallica. They play an out-of-this-world rendition of the Power Hour theme song and at the end Beavis & Butthead provide some on-screen commentary, Beavis exclaiming that “Metallica rules!” and Butthead adds that the performance “Kicked ass!”

Swerve Strickland (1-1)
w/ The Black Lads
vs.
Warhorse (4-3)

    Swerve suffered a count-out loss in his WPW in-ring debut two weeks ago due to Warhorse’s DEATH BY DOUBLESTOMP from the top rope and Swerve wants his revenge against the popular rising star. Swerve makes his entrance along with The Black Lads, Scorpio Sky and #1 contender for Macho Man’s World Title Jay Lethal, along with their “Main Ho” Allie Katch. Warhorse makes his entrance, headbanging down to the ring. Ding ding. Swerve opens with a forearm smash and backbreaker. Warhorse absorbs the pain, springs up and begins banging his head and stomps Swerve, but another backbreaker keeps Warhorse down this time. A rolling cutter and arm scissors sends Warhorse to the outside to take a breather but he crawls helplessly back inside to a Sliding Swerve Kick and Swerve hits a 450 splash. Warhorse is in trouble. Swerve hits his JML DRIVER and covers but Warhorse manages to kick out. A standing spanish fly by Swerve has Warhorse seeing stars and it’s one final JML DRIVER that puts Warhorse down for the 1-2-3. Allie Katch is going off on Warhorse telling him that this is payback for their recent altercations at Glory Pro Wrestling in St. Louis, MO. Swerve’s hand raised in victory, standing proudly next to the deadliest faction in WPW today, The Black Lads, led by #1 contender Jay Lethal. Lethal shouts that he’s coming for Macho’s title at THE BEEFENING.

Result: Swerve Strickland d. Warhorse by pinfall following JML DRIVER

Backstage Promo: WPW Boys Champion Danhausen is backstage having a conversation with his manager “Living Legend” Larry Zbyzsko, Danhausen insisting that “Larry Legend” take the teeth out of his jar and brush them when Riddle rides up on his scooter. Riddle says, “Brohausen, what was the deal with that doobie we smoked last week?” It made him feel real funny. Danhausen says that it shouldn’t have, they are the finest herbs he grew himself. Riddle asks where he got the plants and Danhausen replies, “Earth, mostly.” Riddle says it wasn’t cool, bro, and Danhausen asks how he can make it up to him, perhaps a “dabhausen?” Danhausen produces from behind his back a glass rig apparatus for consuming waxy herbal concentrates, very intricate glass artwork featuring Danhausen’s face, but Riddle declines. Riddle says he was thinking about a shot at the WPW Boys Title. Danhausen reaches out to shake Riddle’s hand when Zbyszko says, “Not so fast.” Zbyszko says that if Riddle can beat him next week, he’ll get a shot at the WPW Boys Title on pay-per-view at THE BEEFENING. Riddle says, “You’re on bro.”


Video Package: It is daytime outdoors at a beautiful, well-landscaped cemetery. Camera cuts to a close-up of a gravestone marked “Brian Pillman 1962-1997.” The sound of footsteps can be heard approaching for a few moments until a figure is standing in front of the grave, his shadow casting down upon the marker.


Backstage Promo: Jake Something is in the locker room, he shakes hands with DDP as DDP leaves the room and Jake addresses the camera. Jake begins to speak to Bryan Danielson, leader of D-Meditation-X, Jake’s former boss. Jake says he regrets devoting his time and energy to the group of troublemakers and he won’t be made anyone’s fool again. Suddenly a thick smoke begins to fill the locker room. A bunch of banging and grunting can be heard and when the smoke clears, Jake is sprawled out on the floor on top of what looks like a pentagram-like symbol with candles burning at the points and various energy crystals strewn about. “D-Meditation-X was here!” is spray painted on the lockers.

Effy (4-0)
w/ MJF
vs.
Will Ospreay (2-8)
w/ Zack Sabre Jr.

    Will Ospreay was embarrassed two weeks ago when Effy knocked Ospreay out in the middle of the ring with his finisher sleeper hold and gave The Commonwealth Kingpin a kiss on the cheek. The United Empire makes their way to the ring followed by MJEffy, this being MJF’s first time acting as cornerman to his new tag team partner. The bell rings to start this contest. Ospreay, not playing around, opens with a brainbuster. Effy springs up like it didn’t hurt but suddenly “Flair flops” back to the mat. Ospreay lands a handspring enziguri and goes for a cover but Effy quickly kicks out. Will Ospreay hits his ESSEX DESTROYER inciting MJF to hop up on the apron. MJF retrieves his Diamond Ring from the crotch of his trunks and clocks the leader of the United Empire right in the jaw before stuffing the ring back into his jocks. Ospreay rolls to the safety of ZSJ, rubbing his jaw, checking to see if the Diamond Ring chipped a tooth before crawling helplessly back in. Effy sends Ospreay into the turnbuckle; they collide in a double clothesline situation and Effy gets to his feet first, hitting a rough rider. Effy goes for a bicycle kick, Ospreay dodges and arm drags Effy. Effy hits a back suplex on Ospreay and while Ospreay is dazed, Effy hooks in the DRAG QUEEN SLEEPER, Ospreay manages to back Effy into the ropes to break the hold. A bridging northern lights suplex puts Ospreay down again. Another rough rider keeps him down, Effy climbs to the top rope for a death-defying maneuver, Effy comes crashing down into a seated senton right onto Ospreay’s face and Effy bounces up and down in a “bronco buster” type fashion before being fully satisfied. Effy hooks in the DRAG QUEEN SLEEPER once more, The Commonwealth Kingpin fades, and Effy is declared victorious. If Ospreay didn’t like a peck on the cheek before he’s certainly not going to approve of this smooch on the lips as “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” begins to play. ZSJ picks up his fallen comrade and carries him backstage to safety. MJF reaches back into his jocks and pulls out a party popper, shooting congratulatory confetti into Effy’s face and they embrace.

Result: Effy d. Will Ospreay by submission with DRAG QUEEN SLEEPER

Backstage Promo: The Phenomenal AJ Styles says he’s filing a claim with the Better Business Bureau about the lack of cowboy hats at the Bi-Mart in Ellensburg, WA. Beyond that, he’s been training hard, saying his prayers, eating his vitamins, and getting in shape for his next big challenge in WPW. AJ Styles proclaims that nobody in WPW has the same drive he has, nobody has the same ambition: the ambition to prove that he is the best wrestler in the entire world and if anybody can show the same drive, the same ambition, AJ Styles wants to face them in the middle of the WPW ring. This is the time, WPW is the place and Styles will prove himself against any challenger “across the world.”



MTV Musical Segment: Metallica plays “Master of Puppets” from the 1986 album of the same name.



In-Ring Promo: The Premier Athlete Tony Nese was upstaged two weeks ago when Big Daddy Drew McIntyre’s “You Can Be a Big Daddy, Too!” Workshop took place next door to Nese’s Pec Flexing Seminar and Drew drew a bigger crowd. Tony Nese makes his way to the ring with a microphone. Nese says Big Daddy Drew scheduled his Workshop next to his on purpose and The Premier Athlete is calling out the Scottish Warrior for a pec-off. Big Daddy Drew’s music hits and Drew makes his way down the aisle. “Who’s your daddy? Drew’s Your Daddy!” chants fill the arena. Drew squares up to Nese in the ring and it’s clear who the bigger daddy is. Drew asks Tony if he learned anything from his Workshop? Tony says he learned one thing: Drew McIntyre is a punk. Drew asks the fans if they want to see him bend Tony Nese over his knee and give him a Daddy-level spanking for being such a whiny little brat. The crowd pops. It looks like the beef is about to hit the fan when a new song hits the speakers: that of “All Ego” Ethan Page! Page says he’s heard enough of these two yahoos arguing but there really is no debate over who has the “tightest tits in the game.” Ethan Page says he’s already gotten approval from WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper, he’ll see both men in the ring on pay-per-view for a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH to determine who has the best pecs in all of the WPW.

Matt Sydal (3-2)
w/ Leyla Hirsch
vs.
Sammy Guevara (1-2)
w/ Thunder Rosa

    “The Spanish God” Sammy Guevara makes his entrance with his valet, “The Spanish Goddess” Thunder Rosa and Matt Sydal, representing D-Meditation-X, who appears to have launched a brutal backstage assault on Jake Something earlier in the evening, is accompanied by his female bodyguard “Legit” Leyla Hirsch. This match is underway. Sydal opens with a kidney punch and Sydal Special leading to a quick pin and kick out from Guevara. Sydal goes for a standing moonsault but Guevara rolls out of the way. Guevara with a Spanish Fly and standing shooting star leg drop and another pin, but Sydal kicks out. Guevara hits a superkick that rocks Sydal, he may be out on his feet. Sammy tosses him into the ropes and Sydal puts Sammy down with a shoulder tackle. Sydal hits a Sydal Special and Sammy rolls to the outside, seeking solace in the arms of Thunder Rosa. Sammy gets a kiss from La Mera Mera and grabs a big handful of her ass. She then gives Sammy a playful slap on the rear as he returns to the ring. Sydal with a Double Helix sends Sammy back outside again. While Sammy is out playing grab-ass with The Spanish Goddess, Sydal ascends to the top turnbuckle and comes crashing to the outside with an impressive shooting star press down onto his unfortunate targets at ringside. Sammy barely makes it back to the ring before being counted out. Sydal hits an Aftershock and a brutal pair of frankensteiners. Sydal is about to attempt a pin when Thunder Rosa hops up onto the apron. Rosa lifts her top, exposing her “puppies” to the referee but he counts the pin anyway. 1-2-3. After the match, Leyla Hirsch is angry at Sydal for staring at Thunder Rosa’s boobs. Thunder Rosa is upset that her indecent exposure didn’t help her cause. Sammy is also upset that he was knocked out at the end of the match and missed seeing the puppies. Hirsch and Rosa begin exchanging words before their men have to restrain them.

Result: Matt Sydal d. Sammy Guevara by pinfall following a top rope frankensteiner

Backstage Promo: Jim Cornette is back in the locker room with his client The Iron Sheik. Cornette is angry at Jeff Cobb for beating his man last week, but he doesn’t blame Sheiky, he blames himself for not administering Sheik’s Nugenix Total-T on time, but that’s a mistake he won’t make again. Cornette says The Iron Sheik wants a rematch against Jeff Cobb next week on The Road to THE BEEFINING Power Hour. There’s suddenly a knock on the locker room door, it’s Bob Backlund, who has been following Cornette and Sheiky around picking up the dick pills that they’ve been dropping. Backlund asks Cornette if he has any more of those “candies,” Cornette says, “What in the world are you talking about, Bob?” Backlund looks confused and replies, “Bob, is that–is that my name?” Sheiky whispers to Corny that Backlund has been acting really strange ever since WPW IN HeAT when the cursed toilet was dropped from the ceiling and bonked Backlund on the head. This plants a devious seed in Cornette’s diabolical head. “What? Bob? Who said Bob? Your name is Hotchkiss. Hotchkiss Featherbottom.” and Corny convinces Backlund that he’s Jim’s assistant, he’s been looking for him for weeks, where has he been? Corny says that orders on Cornette’s Collectibles are piling up and Backlund/Hotchkiss has a lot of work to catch up on. Corny says, “Let’s see if we can find you any more candy.” as he shakes a bottle of pills.

Grudge Match

WPW World Champion
Macho Man Randy Savage (12-2)
vs.
Val Venis (3-3)
w/ Ricky Starks

    Val Venis and Sticky Ricky Starks, The Stroke Daddies, have been tormenting the World Champion for weeks, teasing him and taunting him with the scandalous adult film they produced starring Macho’s former tag team partner and his precious “Elizabeth.” Macho Man declared last week that his first stop on the road to Jay Lethal will involve destroying the self-proclaimed “King of Gyrations and Sex and Porn” himself, Val Venis. Val and Ricky make their entrance wearing their signature towels and then it’s time for the champ. WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage enters, making a bee-line for his opponent. The champ means business tonight. Macho opens up with a running axe handle, hurting Venis. Macho gets Val to straddle the rope and Macho gives the rope a stiff kick sending shockwaves through Val’s Venis. A knee drop and a big piledriver puts Val down. Macho tosses Val into the ropes, Val comes back and Macho puts him down with a running back elbow. Macho brutally elbows Venis in the head, Venis hits his own forearm smash on Macho, but Macho tries for some quick jabs but Venis connects with an irish whip and knee smash but this lights a fire in Macho. The champ hits a running knee to the back and a pair of neckbreaker clotheslines and a big knee drop keeps Val down. Val rolls to the outside, grabbing and hugging Sticky Ricky who is trying to hype up and oil down his partner before sending him helplessly back to the war zone. Macho hits a devastating piledriver and Val rolls to safety again. Macho follows and grabs a rear waist lock on Val but Ricky lubed up Val enough for Val to slip from Macho’s grip. Ricky comes up from behind throwing his towel over Macho’s face while Venis continues punching him on the outside. Venis tosses the champ back in. Venis with a reverse figure four leglock but Macho grabs a rope. Val tosses the champ to the corner and executes a hip swivel and mounted punches, adding insult to injury. Macho is hurt. Val hits a russian leg sweep and fisherman’s suplex. A turnbuckle reversal results in Macho Man blasting Val with an incredible neck-breaking clothesline. Can he capitalize? Macho leaps to the top, points to the Heavens, and brings the FLYING ELBOW DROP smashing down onto Val Venis. The champ covers the chump for the 1-2-3. Step 1 is complete. Macho has made Val Venis his bitch. Macho turns Val over with his boot so Val is now face down in the middle of the ring. Macho slips out, grabs the bottle of lube from Ricky Starks and knocks him out with one punch. Macho returns to the ring, pulls Val’s trunks down to his knees and starts squirting the lube all over Val’s backside. Macho grabs the TV camera from one of the crewmembers on the ring apron, Macho approaches the downed Val Venis, face down, ass up and begins his assault that the world champion promised us last week. As the camera lens begins to separate the cheeks even MTV producers are telling the WPW director to cut away.

Result: Macho Man d. Val Venis by pinfall following FLYING ELBOW DROP

MTV Musical Segment: Beavis and Butthead were enjoying watching WPW Power Hour and Butthead says, “What happened?” Beavis, “Yeah, they were about to shove a camera up that guy’s butt, put that back on.” Butthead clicks the remote until they see Metallica. Metallica plays “One” from the 1988 album “... And Justice For All.”

Next week on “The Road to THE BEEFENING” Power Hour on MTV:

Grudge Match

Macho Man vs. Swerve Strickland

Boys Title Shot on the Line @ THE BEEFENING

Riddle vs. Larry Zbyszko

The Iron Sheik vs. Jeff Cobb

Who will accept AJ Styles' challenge?

What condition is Jake Something in?

And MORE!!!

[Valenswift]

Love the music and promo sections in this fed.

[Joel Pole]

WPW #25: “The Road to THE BEEFENING” Power Hour on MTV


Welcome to Power Hour on MTV live from the WPW Flex Zone, our portable arena currently erected at Blossom Music Center in Cuyahoga Falls, OH. Our musical guest this week is The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies who perform a peppy, swing-style version of the Power Hour opening theme song.



In-Ring Segment: The skirl of bagpipes heralds the arrival of WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper says that there is a big match coming up this weekend on Pay-Per-View between #1 contender Jay Lethal and the reigning WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage, but there is still the matter of signing the official contract, which he has right there in his hand. Piper introduces first the challenger, being accompanied to the ring by The Black Lads & Allie Katch, Jay Lethal. Piper then announces Lethal’s opponent; he can barely be heard over the crowd chanting “Macho Man! Macho Man!” the WPW World Champion himself, Macho Man Randy Savage. Savage says that he wants to make Jay Lethal pay dearly for everything he has put him through. Macho proposes their Main Event Title Match be fought under Hardcore Texas Death Match Rules! The crowd chants “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Jay Lethal is quick to shoot that down telling him, “You may hold that belt, but you don’t call all the shots around here,” when Roddy Piper chimes in, “That’s right: I do!.” Piper proposes that if Macho can defeat Swerve in their planned match this evening, the stipulation will be added to the main event at THE BEEFENING. Lethal agrees that they will sign the appropriate contract at the end of the night. Macho Man says he’s going to go backstage and discuss this with Miss Elizabeth. Everyone is alarmed, confused, and intrigued: what Miss Elizabeth is waiting backstage?

MJF (6-8)
w/Effy
vs.
Zack Sabre Jr. (1-3)
w/Will Ospreay

    Ospreay has been made a fool of two weeks in a row now being put to sleep by Effy’s DRAG QUEEN SLEEPER and suffering an unceremonious smooch after the bell. The United Empire is targeting what they perceive to be the weak link of MJEffy and Ospreay has sent the technical wizard ZSJ to deliver a message. MJF enters with his tag-team partner Effy, entering to a new 80’s-inspired synth-wave version of his theme song. MJF doesn’t seem entirely pleased with this song either. His opponent makes his entrance, Zack Sabre Jr. accompanied by The Commonwealth Kingpin Will Ospreay, representing The United Empire. Zack Sabre Jr. opens with a european uppercut and a barrage of shoulder tackles off the ropes. A rolling prawn hold ties MJF up for a bit and a surfboard stretch puts him down. ZSJ sends MJF off the ropes and telegraphs a back body drop allowing MJF to hit a devastating piledriver. MJF hooks in a SALT OF THE EARTH ARMBAR on ZSJ but he gets to the ropes. MJF immediately hits a HEATSEEKER piledriver but ZSJ manages to kick out of the pin attempt. ZSJ hits a penalty kick on MJF and ZSJ goes for the pin but MJF kicks out at 1. ZSJ hits a rolling elbow and goes for another pin forcing MJF to exert energy in the kick-out. ZSJ hooks him in another rolling prawn hold eliciting Effy up onto the apron distracting the ref from counting the pin. ZSJ knocks Effy back to the floor and continues his assault on MJF. MJF spits in ZSJ’s face and then pokes him in the eye. A double clothesline puts both men down, ZSJ hits a dragon suplex and a prolonged surfboard stretch. MJF wriggles free and hits a Here It Is Driver and an arm codebreaker. ZSJ goes back to the surfboard stretch and hits a Sabre Driver. A pair of enziguri meet their mark and MJF is down. MJF leaves the ring to confer with Effy but crawls back in to meet the ref’s count but then slides back out to bait Sabre. Sabre takes the bait and follows MJF when Effy reaches into the crotch of his jocks and pulls out MJF’s diamond ring, tosses it to MJF and then throws glitter up into the air to distract the referee. MJF clocks ZSJ right in the jaw and tosses the ring back to Effy who stuffs it back into his crotch before the ref sees what happened. MJF tosses the lifeless body of Zack Sabre Jr. back into the ring and hooks in the SALT OF THE EARTH ARMBAR and ZSJ quickly taps. Ding ding ding. Ospreay is telling MJEffy that they had better show up at THE BEEFENING because The United Empire has a surprise in store for them.

Result: MJF d. Zack Sabre Jr. by submission with SALT OF THE EARTH ARMBAR

Backstage Interview: Face-to-face interview backstage with the leader of D-Meditation-X Bryan Danielson and his former employee Jake Something who is accompanied by his friend and fellow adversary to Danielson’s despicable group, Diamond Dallas Page. Jake Something tells Danielson that he can’t run anymore, he can’t hide. Jake is visibly battered from his locker room attack last week; he has a black eye and cuts on his face and his shoulder is wrapped. Jake says that Danielson can pull all of his silly tricks, but they won’t phase him. Jake says it’s not fair that they are restricted from physical altercations before THE BEEFENING but D-Meditation-X gets to beat him up in his locker room and suffer no consequences. Bryan Danielson says he’s looking forward to showing the world that his name should be Jake Nothing at the Pay-Per-View, but he says it wasn’t him that beat him up in the locker room. He tells Jake to keep his eyes open because there are more people than just Bryan Danielson that have a target on Jake’s head.



Promo Package: Outdoors at a quiet, well-landscaped cemetery. It is dusk. The camera pans up from behind a grave marker and we see Brian Pillman Jr. standing there. A single tear crawls down his cheek and falls to the ground. He clenches his jaw and squares his shoulders before turning on his heel and walking away from the gravestone. The camera pans around the grave marker which previously read “Brian Pillman 1962-1997” etched into the worn, gray stone. It now reads only “See You At The Beefening.”

Boys Title Match @ THE BEEFENING

Matt Riddle (1-1)
vs.
Larry Zbyszko (2-2)
w/Boys Champion Danhausen

    Matt Riddle took issue with the interplanetary plant material in the interdimensional doozy of a doobie that Danhausen offered to him a couple weeks ago which made Matt Riddle go berserk. Riddle requested a shot at the WPW Boys Championship but before Danhausen could accept, his manager “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko stepped in and offered the young Matt Riddle a qualifying match tonight on Power Hour. Riddle makes his way to the ring on his scooter and Zbyszko enters; “Larry Legend” as Danhausen refers to his manager, and Danhausen curses “Riddler” as they step into the ring. Zbyszko puts Riddle in the chokehold and then whips him into the turnbuckle. Riddle bounces forward with gusto but counters with a pele kick to the Living Legend. Riddle hits a cross armbreaker and a Broton putting the legend down. Riddle hits an early BROSTONE piledriver and goes for the pin but Zbyszko kicks out at 2. Riddle hits another Broton and tosses Zbyszko into the ropes, Zbyszko sees Riddle duck for the back body drop and hits him with a surprise piledriver before slamming his head into the turnbuckle for good measure. Zbyszko goes to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline from the top and drags him to the turnbuckle for another head slam and a series of brutal backbreakers. Riddle is down and he rolls to the outside to safety. Zbyszko is confident that he has the young grappler where he wants him and he patiently waits for Riddle to come crawling helplessly back into his claws. Suddenly on the outside of the ring Danhausen comes up from behind Matt Riddle and smashes his jar of teeth over his head. There is broken glass and blood and teeth everywhere and the ref is standing right there. Danhausen says, “Ope! Danhausen didn’t do that.” but he’s still holding the remains of the glass jar with Riddle’s blood dripping from its jagged edges. The ref disqualifies Zbyszko for this obvious illegal interference, qualifying Matt Riddle for his shot at the WPW Boys Title at THE BEEFENING, but what condition will Matt Riddle be in come this weekend?

Result: Matt Riddle d. Larry Zbyszko by DQ when Danhausen smashed his Jar of Teeth over Riddle’s head

Video Package: 3-way promo video documenting the athletes competing in the first ever Triple Threat Match in WPW: Big Daddy Drew McIntyre, The Premier Athlete Tony Nese, & “All Ego” Ethan Page. Big Daddy Drew is a fan favorite here in WPW, Tony Nese is a newcomer, and Ethan Page has been here since day one but hasn’t been given any big opportunities so he decided to make it happen on his own and interjected himself into this beef. All three men have one thing in common: big, juicy pectoral muscles that can dance on command, and all three men believe their pec-flexing to be the best. Tony Nese is in a state-of-the-art training gym using a digitally controlled rowing machine to work those upper-body muscles. Big Daddy Drew is in a canoe in Scotland, rowing the old-fashioned way. And “All Ego” Ethan Page is standing in front of a full-length mirror, flexing his pecs back and forth because he knows he already has the “tightest tits in the game.”



MTV Musical Segment: Cherry Poppin Daddies play the song “Shake Your Lovemaker” from their 1990 album “Ferociously Stoned.”



In-Ring Segment: The familiar tunes of the D-Meditation-X theme song plays and Matt Sydal enters through the curtain and makes his way down the aisle, by his side is D-Meditation-X’s female bodyguard “Legit” Leyla Hirsch. Sydal says he wants to see Sammy Guevara in the ring. Sammy makes his entrance with “The Spanish Goddess” Thunder Rosa practically dragging him down to the ring. She’s speaking very rapid Spanish to Sammy as Sammy takes the microphone. Sammy says that he wants another go at Matt Sydal because he doesn’t think Sydal can beat him again. Thunder Rosa grabs the mic from Sammy and says, “You? I don’t think Sydal could beat ME!” And that’s when Leyla Hirsch grabs the mic from Rosa and says, “HE couldn’t beat you? I could beat you with one arm tied behind my back!” Leyla Hirsch and Thunder Rose break out into a catfight with both of their men attempting to restrain them. Sydal and Hirsch bail to the outside and Thunder Rosa picks the mic back up and says, “Hirsch, you want La Mera Mera one-on-one? Bring it to THE BEEFENING!”



Promo Package: Outside of a hospital room, the patient’s chart by the door says “VENIS,” Sticky Ricky Starks is standing there. Ricky explains that Val Venis is still in recovery after having a television camera forcibly inserted into his anus last week, but he’s on the mend. Ricky says that seeing all of these hot nurses walking around is giving him some ideas for some upcoming film projects. A rather attractive female nurse walks by and Ricky Starks begins to follow, “I need to do some location scouting,” and he catches up to the pretty nurse down the hallway.



Pre-Match Segment: Jeff Cobb makes his way down to the ring for the next match: scheduled is his rematch with The Iron Sheik. Cobb is in the ring and The Iron Sheik’s music begins to play. A worried Jim Cornette shows up on the stage, looking around nervously. He keeps looking back behind the curtain, but it appears that The Iron Sheik is about to no-show. Cornette comes down to the ring and begins explaining something to the ring announcer. The announcer informs us that, “There will be a substitution in this match. Introducing Jeff Cobb’s opponent, Bo–” Jim raises his tennis racquet over his head in a threatening manner and the announcer continues, “Hotchkiss Featherbottom,” and Bob Backlund makes his way down to the ring. Backlund still out of sorts, almost a month from having a toilet dropped on his head, he’s been convinced by Jim Cornette that he is his assistant, Hotchkiss Featherbottom. Jim shakes a bottle of pills that seems to keep Backlund’s attention and the match begins.

Hotchkiss Featherbottom (Bob Backlund) (3-1)
w/ Jim Cornette
vs.
Jeff Cobb (2-2)

    Backlund Irish whips Cobb who reverses it, sending Backlund into the turnbuckle who elbows the charging opponent putting him down. An impressive delayed vertical suplex puts down Cobb. Backlund goes for a hammerlock but Cobb powers out and delivers an overhead belly to belly suplex. Cobb goes for a dropkick which is side-stepped by Backlund who goes for another hammerlock but quickly reversed into a pump handle fallaway slam. A reversal in the corner puts Backlund in charge. Backlund works Cobb into a Boston Crab. Cobb reverses another strike and hurts Backlund with several more pump handle slams and goes for the pin, but “Hotchkiss” is able to kick out. Cobb hits a standing moonsault and kneeling reverse piledriver. Backlund dodges a dropkick, but Cobb hits a big biel throw and Backlund escapes the ring to strategize with Corny. Backlund drags Cobb to the outside and sends him right into a tennis racquet shot from Jim Cornette. Back in the ring Backlund hits a big piledriver and goes for the pin but the big Hawaiin kicks out. Another piledriver but Jeff Cobb comes back with Bam Bams. Backlund hits a fireman's carry armbar and a head scissor but Jeff Cobb comes back with his own delayed vertical suplex. Cornette hops up on the apron to distract but this catches the ire of Jeff Cobb and takes off after him, while Cobb is chasing Corny, Backlund blindsides him with a brutal lariat knocking him silly. Cobb manages several more offensive moves on Backlund before tossing him into the turnbuckle. Cobb charges at Backlund who dodges and the charging Cobb goes up and over the top rope to the outside. Backlund follows and a wild brawl erupts. Corny screams for Hotchkiss to use the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING. Backlund gets Cobb back in the ring and hooks in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING, but Backlund isn’t giving it his all. A look of confusion washes across his face. Cobb makes it to the ropes to break the hold. Backlund hits a series of underhook suplexes keeping Cobb down. A wind-up forearm rocks Jeff Cobb. Backlund hits a backbreaker on the big man but may have hurt his own knee in the process. Cobb hits Bam Bams on Backlund but can’t score a 3-count. Corny screams again for the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING and Backlund applies it but still seems oddly confused about something. Cobb gets to the ropes. Cobb gets a few more offensive moves in and unsuccessfully covers Backlund again. Standing moonsaults hurt Backlund. Bam Bams and a biel throw and Jeff Cobb picks up Hotchkiss Featherbottom and plants him in the TOUR OF THE ISLANDS. Corny manages to lift Backlund’s foot to the bottom rope to break the pin. Cobb hits a big lariat and tries a dropkick but the agile Backlund dodges and applies a head scissor. Cobb reverses again and a double clothesline puts both wrestlers down. Backlund makes his way to his feet first. Backlund hooks in the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING but before cinching it in it appears that a lightbulb goes off over his head and he exclaims, “CROSS WING CHICKEN FACE!!!” and hooks it in on Jeff Cobb who has reached his limits and taps to the alleged website assistant. Backlund keeps mumbling “Cross Wing Chicken Face” over and over and Jim Cornette begins nervously cramming handfuls of Nugenix Total-T pills into his mouth to shut him up. Cornette says to Jeff Cobb, “We’re not done with you yet, Cobb. You still have hell to pay at THE BEEFENING, as soon as I find Sheiky!”

Result: Hotchkiss Featherbottom d. Jeff Cobb by submission with CROSS WING CHICKEN FACE

Post-Match Segment: Jim Cornette and Hotchkiss Featherbottom (Bob Backlund) make their way back to the locker room and they hear faint cries of “Help me! Help me, bubba!” and they discover The Iron Sheik back in the bathroom. He took too much Nugenix Total-T, the testosterone supplement with the exclusive Man-Boosting formula, too early before his match. His erection had gotten so suddenly large and out-of-control that he couldn’t maneuver his way through the door frame. Corny is glad that Hotchkiss was victorious, but he’s worried that Backlund’s memory is going to come back soon and ruin his scheme.



In-Ring Segment: The Phenomenal AJ Styles enters the ring and takes a microphone. He says he issued a challenge last week to anyone that thinks they can take on The Phenomenal One. “Does anyone out there have the guts? Does anyone have the fortitude? Does anyone have the ambition?” A wolf’s howl blares through the speakers and out to the stage steps none other than “The American Wolf” Davey Richards and he is flanked by fellow St. Louis Glory Pro Wrestling mainstays Warhorse and Dan the Dad. Richards tells AJ Styles to get that word “ambition” out of his mouth because Richards represents #TeamAmbition and they’re not only taking over the St. Louis wrestling scene, but the entire wrestling world, including World Powerhouse Wrestling. Davey Richards says he’s coming to THE BEEFENING to show the world that The American Wolf is “More Than Phenomenal.”



Pre-Match Segment: WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper makes his way to the ring before tonight’s main event. He says he has both contracts with him, with and without the Death Match stipulation, waiting for them to sign. Swerve Strickland and The Black Lads make their entrance first being accompanied by their Main Ho Allie Katch. WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage is introduced last and we are told that he’s being accompanied to the ring by MISS ELIZABETH! As Macho steps through the curtain he holds it open for his beautiful valet, “Miss Elizabeth” who is clearly Randy’s brother Lanny Poffo in a sparkling evening gown. He could have at least bothered to shave his mustache! Jay Lethal is upset at this turn of events: will “she” factor into the title match at THE BEEFENING?

Grudge Match

PPV Main Event Stipulation on the Line

WPW World Champion
Macho Man Randy Savage (13-2)
w/ Miss Elizabeth (Lanny Poffo)
vs.
Swerve Strickland (2-1)
w/ The Black Lads & Allie Katch

    Macho plans on taking out all of his anger on Swerve Strickland who only made his debut in WPW in The Stroke Daddies’ adult film where he and Lethal “deflowered” the previous Miss Elizabeth, also known as Allie Katch. Macho Man opens with a running axe handle and a neckbreaker clothesline, followed up by a knee to the back and a big knee drop. A big elbow to the head and another knee drop keeps Swerve down. Macho Man climbs up to the top and comes dropping down with a brutal double axe handle but Swerve scouts it and punches Macho Man right in the yambag in mid air. Macho is down on his knees trying to catch his breath. Swerve tries a quick pin but Macho kicks out. A sliding Swerve Kick and a rolling cutter leads to Space Jam on Macho but Macho kicks out of yet another pin attempt. Another Sliding Swerve Kick dazes Macho. Swerve hits a bicycle kick on the champ, but when he goes for another, Strickland dazes Macho for a forearm smash. Macho dodges another bicycle kick. Neckbreaker clothesline puts Swerve down and he leaves the ring. He drags Macho out of the ring and whips Savage towards The Black Lads when suddenly Jay Lethal hits a LETHAL INJECTION on Macho on the outside. Can Swerve capitalize? Strickland hits a SWERVE STOMP but Macho kicks out of the pin attempt. Macho dodges the Sliding Swerve Kick, but Strickland hits another Space Jam but can’t keep Macho’s shoulders down. Strickland with an arm scissor but Macho gets to the ropes. Swerve sends Macho through the ropes to the outside. Macho drags Swerve by the ankle and drags him outside. This time Macho irish whips Swerve towards “Miss Elizabeth” who is brandishing Macho Man’s WPW World Title and “she” clocks Swerve right in the face with the big, gold belt, busting Swerve open, blood trickling down his forehead into his eyes and Macho tosses him back inside. Macho Man leaps to the top turnbuckle from the outside and hits the FLYING ELBOW DROP onto Swerve in the middle of the ring. This has to be it. The Black Lads distract the referee from making the pin but Roddy Piper, still at ringside can be heard saying, “No, no no no,” and Commissioner Piper instructs The Black Lads & Allie Katch to leave ringside! Macho Man sends Swerve through the ropes to the outside and now Swerve can’t find his friends for help! He crawls helplessly back into a piledriver by the champ. Macho Man hits another FLYING ELBOW DROP onto Swerve Strickland and covers him for the 1-2-3.

Result: Macho Man d. Swerve Strickland by pinfall following FLYING ELBOW DROP

MTV Musical Segment: Cherry Poppin Daddies play “No Mercy for Swine” from their 1997 album “Zoot Suit Riot.” Macho Man tells Commissioner Roddy Piper to bring him the contract for the title match to sign. Macho wipes his hand on Swerve Strickland’s face and smears his blood on the contract. “See this Lethal? I’ve signed the contract with your partner’s blood! I’ll see you at THE BEEFENING in a HARDCORE TEXAS DEATH MATCH for the WPW Title, dig it?! And Miss Elizabeth will like it, too.” Macho Man stands over the bloody Swerve Strickland, the vivacious Miss Elizabeth-Poffo steps through the ropes and hands Macho Man the WPW World Title belt and he holds it high above his head. “You and me, Lethal. You and me.”

Join us next time, EXCLUSIVELY on Pay-Per-View and FiteTV for:

MTV Presents

THE BEEFENING:
The Lethal Savages Explode

MAIN EVENT

HARDCORE TEXAS DEATH MATCH

WPW World Championship

Randy Savage(c) vs. Jay Lethal

WPW Boys Championship

Danhausen(c) vs. Matt Riddle

AMBITION CHALLENGE

AJ Styles vs. Davey Richards

Grudge Match

Bryan Danielson vs. Jake Something

Triple Threat Match

Big Daddy Drew vs. Tony Nese vs. Ethan Page

CATFIGHT

Leyla Hirsch vs. Thunder Rosa

SPECIAL ATTRACTION

Brian Pillman Jr. vs. Brian Pillman Sr.

The Iron Sheik vs. Jeff Cobb

Also MJEffy in tag team action!

And MORE!!!

[Joel Pole]

WPW #25a: “Countdown to THE BEEFENING” on MTV2

Join us EXCLUSIVELY on Pay-Per-View and FiteTV for:

MTV Presents

THE BEEFENING:

The Lethal Savages Explode

MAIN EVENT

HARDCORE TEXAS DEATH MATCH

WPW World Championship

Randy Savage(c) vs. Jay Lethal

Since the early days of WPW, Macho Man Randy Savage could count on one man: Jay Lethal. After brutal post-match attacks by Bryan Danielson and Jake Something, Jay Lethal would back up his friend Randy. Macho Man’s own eccentricities led to strife as he would lock Allie Katch into closets and storage rooms, “for her protection,” presumably believing Allie to be his own “Miss Elizabeth.” Macho would occasionally accuse Lethal of getting handsy with Miss Elizabeth but would put these hiccups aside and garnered several wins as the formidable tag team, The Lethal Savages. On the night of BOYS ‘R’ US, Macho Man successfully won the WPW World Championship from our inaugural champion, Kenny Omega, but neither Jay Lethal or “Miss Elizabeth” were there to celebrate his accomplishment. Jay Lethal claimed that he was back in the medical offices tending to the injured Allie Katch, but Val Venis and Ricky Starks, The Stroke Daddies, claimed to have video proof otherwise. Macho fought to see this videotape, but it was a swerve and Venis did not deliver, though Venis still claimed to have what Macho was looking for, dragging it out for weeks to torture the champion. Meanwhile, Macho grew increasingly paranoid about Jay Lethal’s intentions with his intended and kept “Miss Elizabeth” on a short leash; literally, he dragged her around with a leash made of Slim Jim snack sticks. Jay Lethal, feigning true friendship, had Savage promise him a future shot at the World Title, and the seeds were planted. The night of WPW IN HeAT was when the bomb dropped. After a hard-fought battle, Macho Man Randy Savage successfully defended the WPW World Title against The Phenomenal AJ Styles, but after the match The Stroke Daddies debuted their new adult film, “The Lethal Alleys of WPW,” depicting a graphic sexual handicap match of sorts bewtween Miss Elizabeth, Swerve Strickland, and Macho’s former best friend and partner, Jay Lethal. Macho goes on a rampage over the next few weeks as Jay Lethal and Swerve Strickland establish themselves as The Black Lads, recruiting Scorpio Sky to join from SCU and keeping Allie Katch around as their Main Ho. After being spurned by Allie Katch, Macho Man began his tour of revenge, first putting Val Venis in the hospital after shoving a television camera up his sphincter and finally taking out Swerve Strickland, adding a HARDCORE TEXAS DEATH MATCH stipulation to the Main Event Title Match. Macho will be bringing his A-game as well as a new & improved “Miss Elizabeth,” this time the role being filled by the champion’s own brother, Lanny Poffo, though with a fabulous makeover. The time has come for these once friends, now bitter enemies, to settle their BEEF in the middle of a WPW ring. What will happen LIVE on pay-per-view when The Lethal Savages Explode?

WPW Boys Championship

Danhausen(c) vs. Matt Riddle

Danhausen debuted in WPW teaming with Warhorse as the team Warhausen but both began singles paths as Warhorse picked up some impressive victories against then-WPW World Champion Kenny Omega and MJF as Danhausen entered the B1 Climax Tournament being guided by his new manager “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko and claiming the top prize becoming the first WPW Boys Champion by defeating Big Daddy Drew McIntyre at BOYS ‘R’ US. Danhausen began a program with Bob Backlund when Backlund accused the Boys Champ of cursing him, causing him to fall into toilets and suffer from erectile dysfunction. A porcelain-centric feud culminated in a Toilet Ladder Match at WPW IN HeAT where Danhausen retained his belt. The next week on Power Hour, Danhausen chose Warhorse as his tag team partner for the evening, which “majorly bummed out” Matt Riddle who was backstage chilling with Warhorse. Riddle confronted Danhausen who offered him some recreational herbal medication, but this Doobiehausen was from out-of-this-world, literally and figuratively. This put Riddle in some sort of psychosis and he absolutely demolished Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, wait, did that actually happen? Riddle asked Danhausen for a WPW Boys Title shot but Larry Zbyszko forced him into a qualifying match, which Riddle won thanks to disqualifying interference from the Boys Champ who smashed his Jar of Teeth over Riddle’s head during his match with Zbyszko. That wasn’t very nice, though it was very evil. Danhausen is prepared to defend his WPW Boys Title against this impressive athlete but will Matt Riddle be at 100%?

AMBITION CHALLENGE

AJ Styles vs. Davey Richards

AJ Styles debuted at FULL LOAD against Ben Carter and immediately began beef by calling out Will Ospreay and The United Empire. After plowing through the underlings, Jeff Cobb and Zack Sabre Jr, Styles took on Ospreay one-on-one at BOYS ‘R’ US but it resulted in a DQ after interference by The United Empire. AJ Styles proved victorious in their subsequent Lumberjack Match which introduced The Iron Sheik into the WPW. Styles’ successful program pitted him against Jay Lethal on his path to a WPW World Title Match against Macho Man Randy Savage at WPW IN HeAT. AJ displayed a valiant effort but came up short in his endeavor. AJ Styles issued an open challenge decrying a lack of ambition in WPW. We learned the next week that his challenge was accepted by “The American Wolf” Davey Richards, representing #TeamAmbition and accompanied by St. Louis Glory Pro Wrestling mainstays Warhorse and Dan the Dad. Davey Richards says he’s coming to THE BEEFENING to show the world that The American Wolf is “More Than Phenomenal.”

Grudge Match

Bryan Danielson vs. Jake Something

From the birth of WPW, Bryan Danielson has proven himself to be one of the world’s top competitors, first running a program against future-WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage. Danielson was always backed up by his protege, Jake Something. After WPW SACKRIFICE, Danielson decided that he needed to establish a faction that could take him to the top and wanted to emulate the best. He already had his “enforcer” Jake Something, he reached out to a fellow eco-friendly athlete of a similar mindset, Matt Sydal, and he rounded things out with the most intimidating of “female bodyguards,” Legit Leyla Hirsch: they were D-Meditation-X. This fearsome foursome has taken down everyone in their wake, from Kevin Steen to MJF to DDP. It was, in fact, D-Meditation-X’s feud with Diamond Dallas Page that caused an awakening in Jake Something. Jake even defeated DDP on Power Hour on DDP’s path to Danielson, trying to get D-Meditation-X to become a franchisee of DDPY (because it’s more than just yoga). Danielson defeated DDP at WPW IN HeAT and after the match, Jake Something left his group to help the legendary DDP to the locker room. The next week, Jake was DQ’s in a tag match by trying to shove a crystal pillar down his former guru’s throat. Two weeks ago, Jake was taping a backstage promo after meeting with DDP when he suffered a mysterious surprise attack with all the hallmarks of a D-Meditation-X beat down, though Bryan Danielson denies having any involvement. Is Danielson telling the truth? Jake is ready to take his former boss to the limit on pay-per-view, can Danielson handle the heat?

Triple Threat Match

Big Daddy Drew vs. Tony Nese vs. Ethan Page

Drew McIntyre was unsuccessful in the World Title Eliminator Tournament, losing to the eventual winner Kenny Omega in the first round. McIntyre made it to the finals of the B1 CLIMAX TOURNAMENT, losing to Danhausen at BOYS ‘R’ US, but has seen several victories during his time in WPW. Drew has become quite the fan favorite, adopting the moniker “Big Daddy Drew” McIntyre and pleasing fans everywhere he goes. Jim Cornette briefly took McIntyre under his wing for an unsuccessful attempt at Kenny Omega’s World Title at FULL LOAD before facing off against The Scottish Warrior in the B1 Climax. The Premier Athlete Tony Nese debuted just four short weeks ago, squashing jobber-to-the-stars Disco Inferno in his first match. That weekend, Tony Nese’s Pec Flexing Seminar was upstaged by Drew’s “You Can Be a Big Daddy, Too!” Workshop next door. Nese claims he can flex his pecs better than Big Daddy Drew, Drew feels the opposite, and in the middle pops “All Ego” Ethan Page. Ethan Page has been here since day one but hasn’t been given any big opportunities so he decided to make it happen on his own and interjected himself into this beef. All three men have one thing in common: big, juicy pectoral muscles that can dance on command, and all three men believe their pec-flexing to be the best. Who will prove to have, as Ethan Page claims, “the tightest tits in the game?”

CATFIGHT

Leyla Hirsch vs. Thunder Rosa

“The Spanish God” Sammy Guevara debuted in the B1 CLIMAX TOURNAMENT alongside his valet “The Spanish Goddess” Thunder Rosa, losing out to Eddie Kingston. Guevara was pitted against Matt Sydal of D-Meditation-X and the finish saw Thunder Rosa flashing her breasts at Matt Sydal to cause a distraction. Sydal still got the victory, but Leyla Hirsch got pissed at him for looking at Rosa’s chest. Thunder Rosa and Leyla Hirsch began shouting at each other before being separated by Sydal and Guevara. Last week on Power Hour, this cat fight continued when Guevara and Sydal faced off in the ring. Heated words are exchanged and the men once again need to restrain their female companions. “Hirsch, you want La Mera Mera one-on-one? Bring it to THE BEEFENING!”

SPECIAL ATTRACTION

Brian Pillman Jr. vs. Brian Pillman Sr.

Brian Pillman Jr. suffered several losses early on in his WPW career, but he found a successful tag team partnership with Jushin “Thunder” Liger, who was recommended to BPJ by his father via a Ouija Board. A few weeks ago, Pillman broke down during a match with Eddie Kingston. Pillman shouting up the sky, “Why, dad? Why?” We began seeing video packages showing Brian Pillman Jr. strolling through a cemetery. Eventually we learn that he appears to be visiting the grave of his father, the gravestone marked “Brian Pillman 1962-1997.” When BPJ finds the answer he is looking for he turns to walk away, revealing that the engraving has changed to read “See you at The Beefening.”

The Iron Sheik vs. Jeff Cobb

Jim Cornette managed Vader at the outset of WPW, but Vader lost to Kenny Omega in the World Title Eliminator Tournament, causing Corny to call Vader a “fat piece of sh*t.” Corny then took Big Daddy Drew McIntyre under his wing in an unsuccessful attempt at Kenny Omega’s WPW World Title. Corny spent almost two months teasing the fans that he would be managing a new client. This client proved to be “The Ten Inch Terror,” “The Meat That Can’t Be Beat” The Iron Sheik, and Jim Cornette seems to have some sort of control over Sheiky using Nugenix Total-T, the testosterone supplement with a Man-Boosting Formula. Sheik put Big Daddy Drew in the hospital after Sheiky’s debut match with Corny at WPW IN HeAT but suffered a loss to The United Empire’s Jeff Cobb on Power Hour. Bob Backlund, who was unsuccessful in his attempt to take Danhausen’s Boys Title, suffered blunt force trauma to the head when a porcelain toilet fell from the ceiling and bonked him on the noggin. He’s been wandering around for weeks having no clue who he is, following behind Cornette and Sheiky wherever they go, picking up any of the Nugenix dick pills they’ve dropped along the way. Corny discovered this and has convinced Bob Backlund that his real name is Hotchkiss Featherbottom and he is Corny’s assistant. This plan has worked so far, but Sheiky has another rematch with Jeff Cobb scheduled for the pay-per-view, will he suffer any more erection-related setbacks before the big match?

Also MJEffy in tag team action!

MJF looked to be on a trajectory toward the WPW World Title but then went on a losing streak, losing to Kenny Omega and Bryan Danielson among others. Effy made his debut on Power Hour taking out a fellow “Daddy” Drew McIntyre. Effy wrestled MJF a couple weeks later and MJF was brutal on Effy, both on the mic and in the ring. He was not kind and the match ended when MJF hit a HEATSEEKER piledriver to the outside of the ring, knocking out Effy’s front tooth, forcing him to call Dr. Britt Baker, DMD. New WPW Commissioner Rowdy Roddy Piper informed MJF that he would fine him $10,000 unless he tagged with Effy at WPW IN HeAT. The impromptu team of MJEffy was successful in their debut match against Ricky Starks and Val Venis, The Stroke Daddies, and they were subsequently successful against The United Empire, Will Ospreay and Zack Sabre Jr. Will Ospreay did not enjoy being put to sleep by Effy’s DRAG QUEEN SLEEPER and being kissed, first on the cheek and then on the lips. Effy has beaten Ospreay in singles action and MJF defeated ZSJ. Ospreay told MJEffy to be ready to wrestle on pay-per-view, but what could The Commonwealth Kingpin have planned for MJEffy? Will Effy use tongue next time?

[Joel Pole]

[Joel Pole]

I know it's been a while since I last updated, my game partner and I haven't been able to play as regularly and it doesn't look like we'll have a regular schedule going forward unfortunately. We'll probably run THE BEEFENING soon and if I have his blessing I may continue WPW on my own going forward and/or plan on starting a new Indy fed with the same flavor, I really don't want to abandon these great characters/scenarios we've crafted these last 5 or 6 months.

Thanks for tuning in!

[Valenswift]

Hope you can carry on, it would be a shame to end this one as it’s really entertaining!!

[Joel Pole]

Thanks, valenswift, you've been a long-time supporter!!

[Joel Pole]

Dynamo Pro

Dynamo Pro is the newest, hottest professional wrestling organization today featuring top stars from around the world, including stars from World Powerhouse Wrestling. Join us weekly to see all of our wildest animals on display at "The Zoo."

Stay tuned here for updates on World Powerhouse Wrestling as well as results from THE BEEFENING.

[Joel Pole]

WPW #26:

MTV Presents

_{THE BEEFENING}

The Lethal Savages Explode

Welcome to World Powerhouse Wrestling! Welcome to the biggest event in the history of our sport! Welcome to THE BEEFENING presented by MTV! We are LIVE from the WPW Flex Zone, our portable arena currently erected at Ruoff Music Center in Noblesville, IN. Our musical guest this evening is the Grammy-winning heavy metal band Body Count with frontman Ice-T. They open our program with the song “Body Count’s in the House” from their 1992 self-titled album and some in the crowd seem a tad offended.



Pre-Match: AJ Styles put out an open challenge to anyone with the ambition to prove their skill in the WPW squared circle and Davey Richards answered the call. AJ is the first superstar to make his way out to the stage this evening, fans cheering for the veteran as he poses at the entrance and walks with purpose down to the ring. A wolf’s howl signals the arrival of the Phenomenal One’s challenger, “The American Wolf” Davey Richards, representing Team Ambition and he is joined by fellow Team Ambition member Warhorse. Richards appears up to the challenge. The ref checks both athletes for foreign objects and signals for the bell. Ding ding ding.

Ambition Challenge

Davey Richards

w/ Warhorse

vs.

AJ Styles (7-2)

    AJ starts off strong against Davey Richards and Richards goes scurrying to the outside, AJ slams Richards into the ring post, tells Warhorse that Richards is an “American Wolfp***y” and tosses him back inside. Styles lands a stiff discus lariat and covers RIchards for a one count. Styles hits a Phenomenal DDT and Richards seeks but as he’s crawling away, AJ grabs his ankle and pulls him back to the center of the ring and applies his dreaded Calf Crusher but RIchards makes it to the ropes and as the ref forces the break, Davey finally makes it to the outside. He only has so much time to catch his breath before crawling helplessly back inside when AJ snatches him into another Calf Crusher, these are really doing a number on The American Wolf’s leg and AJ is forced to release his prey when he barely gets a pinky to the bottom rope, RIchards again flees to the outside. AJ follows but Richards, in a desperation move, grabs AJ and german suplexes him into the timekeeper’s table, Richards smirks as the ref admonishes him and he tosses AJ into the ring. The momentum shifts back and forth for a bit and AJ goes for a pin following a rack bomb but he can’t quite get it. Richards gets caught suddenly in yet another Calf Crusher, AJ is going to do serious damage to The American Wolf. AJ starts to go for a pin but Warhorse, shouting obscenities at The Phenomenal One, distracts him from the floor. It appears that Warhorse has brought along with him “Boner,” the plastic Halloween skeleton that has teamed with him in the past and presumably lives with the headbanging superstar. Warhorse whipped it out and is waving his Boner all around ringside. AJ tells Warhorse to cut the bullsh*t, Styles grabs Davey Richards who is having trouble maintaining balance on his injured calf and ankle, Styles positions Richards’ head between his legs, pulls him up, hooks the arms with his legs and plants him face first in the middle of the ring with the lethal STYLES CLASH and it’s over for this challenger, despite Warhorse’s Boner getting a huge pop.

Result: AJ Styles d. Davey Richards by pinfall following STYLE’S CLASH

Post-Match: AJ Styles proves how Phenomenal he truly is as his theme music plays through the arena. AJ reaches out his hand towards his fallen opponent and Richards reciprocates. AJ helps Richards to his feet and they shake hands; Richards raises the victor’s hand as a show of respect. Warhorse brings an ice pack to his companion, but is looking at AJ Styles with different eyes now. Maybe Warhorse has learned all he can from Richards and perhaps an alignment with a former world champion will give him the edge he needs. What an opening contest on this monumental Pay-Per-View event, THE BEEFENING!



Backstage Promo: WPW Boys Champion Danhausen is back in the locker rooms at the WPW Flex Zone and he is with his manager “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko. Danhausen tells “Larry Legend” that he was getting ready for his match with “Riddler” this evening and was counting his teeth and there’s a few missing from his jar; he asks Zbyszko if he borrowed them for any reason. An incredulous Living Legend asks Danhausen what in the world he would possibly want to borrow some teeth for. Danhausen assures him that he “doesn’t have to be shy, he can just admit it.” That’s when the Boys Champion’s attention is drawn to Bob Backlund walking through the locker room. Danhausen says, “Bob! Bob!” and Backlund is confused because he has been convinced he is Hotchkiss Featherbottom, Jim Cornette’s assistant, after Danhausen may or may not have cursed a toilet to fall on Backlund’s head, leaving him with amnesia and an insatiable craving for over-the-counter testosterone supplements. Backlund replies, “Are you talking to me?” Danhausen continues, “Question: when we had our Toilet Ladder Match last month, how did we not think to call it a…. Bladder Match? Get it?” At this moment Jim Cornette flies into the room, “Hotchkiss! There you are! Stop yakking with these ne’er-do-wells, they are nothing but trouble. We got work to do, have you seen Claudio?” Zbyszko looks around to see that Danhausen is no longer in the room. What is even going on backstage at THE BEEFENING?



Pre-Match: There isn’t too much that needs to be said about this next contest, the ‘Tightest Triple Threat.” All three of these main claim to have the dancingest pectoral muscles in all of wrestling, if not the world, and this match will determine who has the “Tightest Tits in the Game,” and who is just a boob. Making his entrance first is the ever egotistical “All Ego” Ethan Page, flexing his pecs on the stage and smiling, pointing to his dimple. Page rubs some people the wrong way, but he’s got a devoted fanbase. Entering next is “The Premier Athlete” Tony Nese, unzipping his jacket and revealing his washboard abs. He bounces his pecs from the ring apron. Finally making his entrance, one of the hottest superstars in WPW, Big Daddy Drew McIntyre. “Who’s your daddy? Drew’s Your Daddy!” chants break out in the arena. Fans throughout the WPW Flex Zone are holding signs for Big Daddy to give these boys a spanking. Drew pec-flexes from the second turnbuckle and then flexes like a big, hairy, Scottish beast. How will the first ever Triple Threat Match in WPW go down? This is bound to be a classic!

“Tightest” Triple Threat

Tony Nese (1-0)

vs.

Ethan Page (1-2)

vs.

Big Daddy Drew McIntyre (6-5)

    The 3 wrestlers brawl to start this match until Tony Nese is thrown shoulder first into the turnbuckle post and temporarily incapacitated. Ethan Page takes over on Big Daddy Drew with a catch flatliner. Drew leaves the ring and a wild brawl erupts outside, Drew DDTs Nese on the floor and tosses All Ego back inside. Drew surprises Page with a smash to the head with a steel chair he procured from ringside and referee Don Stevens is waving his arms like a windmill, unable to do anything about it in this no-DQ match! Drew goes for the cover on All Ego but Nese comes up from behind Big Daddy Drew and grabs the Scottish Warrior’s nip and goes for a supercharged titty twister. Drew’s eyes are bugging out of his head as The Premier Athlete gives him the purplest of nurples, sending him seeking shelter outside the ring. Drew asks a fan at ringside for an ice cube from their drink, they happily oblige and he’s rubbing the ice cube on his nipples. The camera doesn’t get enough time to spend on the spectacle at ringside because Nese takes over on Ethan Page. Nese hits a spider german suplex on Page and goes for the pin but All Ego kicks out. Nese drills Ego with another suplex and continues his assault. The action goes back and forth for a while. Ego hits the SPINNING DWAYNE and goes for the pin on Tony Nese but he manages to kick out. Big Daddy Drew comes back in and cleans house and then targets Tony Nese in revenge for giving him the atomic titty twister. Drew massacres The Premier Athlete and the crowd is loving it. Ethan Page comes up and pushes Big Daddy Drew from the top rope as Drew was going for a deathjump and Drew might be in trouble. Page takes over on Nese with an avalanche powerslam and catch flatliner. Nese and Page go back and forth. Nese hits a REVERSE PILEDRIVER on Page and goes for the pin. Big Daddy Drew now comes up from behind Tony Nese and gives him a taste of his own medicine. Drew has some old, wooden clothespins and he clamps them on Tony Nese’s nipples. Nese is up on his feet, bouncing on his tippy toes and screaming. Drew clotheslines Nese over the top rope to the outside. Nese is asking fans at ringside for ice from their drink to put on his nipples, but none of the fans want to help him out. Drew goes up to the top and comes crashing down on Ethan Page with a big elbow drop. Drew hits Ethan Page with the DOUBLE ARM DDT, now known as the DADDY-DT and goes for the cover. Nese is still outside the ring rubbing his nipples and referee Donald Stevens is happy to end this calamity with the 1-2-3.

Result: Big Daddy Drew wins by pinfall after DOUBLE ARM DADDY-DT on Ethan Page

Post-Match: Big Daddy Drew’s arm is raised, proving he indeed has the “tightest tits in the game,” he is a premiere athlete, and he is the Scottish Warrior. The fans are ecstatic as Drew ascends the turnbuckle to flex like an animal and bounce his victorious pectorals. Fireworks go off in the sky over Noblesville, IN, alarming some paragliders that were not expecting it. What challenge is next for Big Daddy Drew?



Advertisement Spot: Video montage intercuts footage of wild animals in captivity, lions and tigers behind bars at a Zoo, roars and other animal noises accompany spliced with fast-paced pro-wrestling action. Introducing Dynamo Pro Wrestling, along with WPW, one of the newest and hottest pro-wrestling companies in the world today. Dynamo Pro features all-star talent, including stars from World Powerhouse Wrestling! The best place to see our wild animals on display is “The Zoo,” the weekly pro-wrestling program on truTV. As Dynamo Pro Commissioner Kurt Angle says, “Oh, it’s true, it’s true, it’s truTV!”



Pre-Match: This next contest features the best of the best and the weirdest of the weird. Matt Riddle accidentally got involved backstage with Danhausen and was offered an interdimensional doobie by Boys Champion Danhausen, and it really messed him up. As a peace offering, Danhausen is defending his WPW Boys Championship against the former MMA competitor turned 24/7 Bro. “Riddler,” sorry, Matt Riddle makes his entrance first, riding his scooter down the entranceway and leaping into the ring. Next, the WPW Boys Champion enters carrying his title belt awkwardly above his head. He lingers on the stage and we see his manager Living Legend Larry Zbyszko direct him to head down to the ring. Danhausen is wearing a fancy new cape especially made for this occasion; its gold and glittery, Danhausen claims it’s made of solid gold and even pretends that it is very heavy as he removes it in the ring. Referee Don Stevens has no problem tossing it out to the ringside personnel.

WPW Boys Championship

WPW Boys Champion

Danhausen (6-3)

w/ Larry Zbyszko

vs.

Matt Riddle (2-1)

    Matt Riddle opens up with a Superbro Punch putting Danhausen on spaghetti legs. Riddle surprises the champ with a BRO 2 SLEEP out of nowhere but Danhausen kicks out of the pin attempt. Riddle hooks in the BROMISSION and Zbyszko is worried and leaps into action. Zbyszko distracts Riddle who leaves the ring to chase him around, almost making him drop Danhausen’s jar of teeth. Zbyszko trips on Riddle’s scooter that he left at ringside. Riddle assaults Danhausen with a flurry of strikes and suplexes. Danhausen escapes the ring to find his manager still knocked unconscious on the arena floor after tripping on the scooter. Danhausen is forced to crawl helplessly back into the ring. The action goes back and forth. Danhausen licks Riddle’s face and Riddle says, “Ew, bro, that’s not cool.” Riddle hits a gutwrench suplex and goes for the pin on Danhausen. Zbyszko on the outside gets to his feet and starts throwing clothespins at Riddle, the clothespins abandoned from Tony Nese’s nipples. Riddle hooks in the BROMISSION on the Boys Champion but Danhausen is able to reach the ropes just barely. Danhausen goes back on offense and makes a surprising comeback on the MMA athlete. Danhausen hits his DEVOTION DDTHAUSEN and goes for the pin but Riddle kicks out. Danhausen grabs his jar of teeth from his manager and jams a handful in the face of Matt Riddle but Don Stevens doesn’t see anything. Riddle is grossed out and comes back fired up on Danhausen. Riddle hits Danhausen with a series of rolling gutwrench suplexes, planting the Boys Champion in the middle of the ring. Zbyszko is exhausted and unable to intervene as Matt Riddle hooks the far leg and holds on tight. DIng ding ding.

Result: Matt Riddle d. Danhausen by pinfall following a series of gutwrench suplexes to become the new WPW Boys Champion

Post-Match: “Here is your winner and NEEEEEEEEW WPW Boys Champion, Matt Riddle!” What a surprising upset for the inaugural Boys Title holder Danhausen, but he put forth a valiant effort. Danhausen’s mind games weren’t enough to intimidate the young superstar. Matt Riddle jumps up and down in the ring as the ref brings him his new title belt. Riddle leaps to the turnbuckle, holding the belt high above his head and the fans are loving it. Riddle takes his new belt around the ringside area, thanking the fans and taking photos with them. Surely some of these photos include a sullen, dejected former-Boys Champion Danhausen skulking in the background. Danhausen will live to curse another day and surely Matt Riddle has some herbal celebrations awaiting him backstage. Congratulations to the new champion!



Backstage Promo: WPW World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage is with “Miss Elizabeth,” Lanny Poffo in an evening gown back in the locker room. Macho says, “Jay Lethal, the time has come. Ooooh yeah, the time has come. Time for you to get a taste of what you deserve. You want a taste, Lethal? Yeah, a taste is what I’m gonna give you, yeah. YOU WANT A TASTE? How about a taste of your own blood, Lethal, yeah? How about that taste? I don’t care if you go running to Dynamo Pro, I don’t care if you try to go into hiding, Jay Lethal. I’m going to make sure that taste never leaves your mouth. And you know what you’ll never get a taste of, Lethal? Never get a taste of? This. The WPW World Title, yeah. Never gonna get a taste. Not one taste!” Macho grabs at the camera, “Now get outta here! Get that videoscope out of my face! Liz, get ‘em outta here!” Miss Elizabeth gruffly bullies the camera man out of the locker room area.



Pre-Match: There’s plenty of grudge leading into the following grudge match. Bryan Danielson convinced Jake Something to join D-Meditation-X and act as their muscle, their enforcer, their goon. Jake did the bidding of his guru and D-Meditation-X destroyed everyone in their path, including wrestling legend Diamond Dallas Page. Page tried and tried to get D-Meditation-X to become a franchisee of DDPY (because it’s more than just yoga), but was unsuccessful in his final effort last month at WPW IN HeAT against the leader of the group himself, The American Dragon. After DDP’s unsuccessful bout, Jake Something displayed sympathy for the fallen legend and broke from his faction to aid DDP. Since leaving the group, Jake has vowed to get his revenge on Danielson, but Jake suffered a mysterious beatdown in the locker room just two weeks ago. The beatdown has all the hallmarks of a D-Meditation-X attack, but Bryan Danielson swears that it was not him. He’s probably lying, though, right? Jake Something makes his entrance, accompanied by his new ally Diamond Dallas Page. The crowd loves this duo. With a body like Jake and a mind like DDP, these two are a force to be reckoned with. A familiar theme begins and D-Meditation-X makes their entrance, The American Dragon Bryan Danielson and Matt Sydal. Legit Leyla Hirsch is no doubt backstage getting ready for her catfight against “The Spanish Goddess” Thunder Rosa later in the evening. D-Meditation-X do not have their usual cart of crystals, herbs, and weapons but Matt Sydal does have an eco-friendly, made from hemp cross-body satchel that is undoubtedly full of trouble for Jake Something. Referee Don Stevens instructs Sydal and DDP to mind themselves on the outside of the ring or he will eject them. Final check of the wrestlers and the ref calls for the bell. Ding ding ding.

Grudge Match

Bryan Danielson (8-4)

w/ Matt Sydal

vs.

Jake Something (5-4)

w/ Diamond Dallas Page

    Danielson tries a rolling elbow to start things off but Jake Something immediately counters with a lariat to the back of the head. Jake isn’t playing around tonight. Both men go back and forth, dodging each other’s elbows and strikes. Danielson dodges a charge into the turnbuckle making Jake Something smash hard and Danielson rolls him up but Something kicks out before the count of 1. Danielson drills him with several suplexes but Jake comes back with an elbow strike. “WHAT’S MY NAME?” The crowd responds “SOMETHING!” Something executes another lariat to the back of Danielson’s head which sends The American Dragon scrambling to the outside. Jake follows him out but Danielson grabs a Labradorite pillar from Sydal’s satchel and tries to hit Jake with it but Jake dodges and the crystal pillar shatters on the ring post. Jake sends Danielson back inside. The ref is admonishing Sydal for supplying the foreign object and behind the ref’s back Danielson smashes Jake Something right in the yam bag. Something doubles over. Jake Something leaves the ring and Danielson follows but Jake Something grabs him and performs a Something Bomb through the announce table! The ref threatens to disqualify him but the crowd is loving it. Danielson in desperation hits another low blow on Jake while pulling the ref into the corner. Back and forth until Danielson pins Jake following a dive to the outside but Jake kicks out. The action spills outside and back in again and Jake hits a Something Bomb on Bryan in the middle of the ring. Jake picks up his limp body and hits yet another Something Bomb. Jake takes Danielson to Suplex City with several overhead suplexes. Danielson suddenly turns around and hits a REGALPLEX on Jake Something out of nowhere! DDP distracts the referee by throwing DDPY (because it’s more than just yoga) flyers at him from the apron and ref is fed up. He tells Diamond Dallas Page “Youuu’reee ouuuuttttaaa heeeeerrre!” and DDP throws a fit, begrudgingly retreating down the entrance way while Matt Sydal and Bryan Danielson taunt him. Danielson puts the hurt on Jake Something. Jake barely kicks out of another pin attempt. A brutal tiger suplex drops Jake on his head and he rolls to the outside but he crawls helplessly back inside with DDP gone. Danielson takes Jake to Suplex City now. Jake fires back up with several lariats to the back of Danielson’s head. This match could still go either way! Another Something Bomb could be all it takes! Boom! Danielson rolls to the outside and calls for Sydal. Sydal reaches into his man-bag and pulls out the ever-agitating Distraction Sage, lights it up, and a cloud of smoke envelopes the ringside area. When the smoke begins to clear, there are three figures now beating on Jake Something outside the ring. The ref has finally seen enough and calls for the bell.

Result: Jake Something d. Bryan Danielson by DQ when Matt Sydal and DDP attack him at ringside

Post-Match: Ding ding ding ding ding. The beatdown continues on Jake Something outside the ring. DDP takes an obsidian sphere from Sydal’s man-purse and smashes it across Jake’s face, busting apart and lacerating Jake’s forehead. Blood is pouring everywhere. The smoke is still clearing as Danielson, Sydal, and Diamond Dallas Page get in the ring. DDP is shouting at ringside personnel for a microphone. The crowd is booing wildly. DDP says that he was sick and tired of losing to these guys, D-Meditation-X. DDP says that he’s a great wrestler, but an even better businessman, and “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” So that’s what he did. DDP has joined D-Meditation-X in order to get the message out about DDPY (because it’s more than just yoga). DDP shakes Bryan Danielson’s hand. “And I’m not just a lackey, an enforcer… a goon. I’m a full partner. The group has even agreed to change its name. We are now D-Meditation-Y (because it’s more than just a faction). Oh, and Jake, Bryan wasn’t lying, he had nothing to do with the locker room beat down you suffered. It was allllll me. D-D-P!” Wow! DDP has joined the group and Danielson, Sydal, and DDP will be pushing D-Meditation-Y down our throats now? This is wild news!



MTV Musical Segment: Body Count plays the song “Evil Dick” from their self-titled 1992 album. This song could certainly describe the favorite weapon of one of our next competitors.



Pre-Match: This rematch was scheduled last week on Power Hour but Iron Sheik was a no-show, being literally stuck in his locker room due to erection-related circumstances. Jim Cornette believes he has his business down to a science, that business being the strategic dispensation of Nugenix Total-T to his wrestler to make him a throbbing, engorged killing machine. Cornette enters alongside Khosrow Vaziri, The Iron Shiek, and trailing behind him are Hotchkiss Featherbottom and, making his first appearance in World Powerhouse Wrestling, Dynamo Pro superstar Claudio Castagnoli. Castagnoli is signed exclusively to Dynamo Pro, but his manager’s Cult of Cornette stable spans multiple companies. Castagnoli will be competing in Dynamo Pro’s King of the Zoo Tournament live at ON THE LOOSE on pay-per-view to determine the inaugural Dynamo Pro Champion. Cornette feels most confident in the athletic ability of The Swiss Superman, but Khosrow has his strengths, and when he’s at full mast, there’s almost nothing “The Ten Inch Terror” can’t do. Jeff Cobb makes his entrance, representing The United Empire, but Will Ospreay is not by his side. Ospreay must be busy cooking up whatever surprise he has promised MJEffy this evening.

“The Iron Sheik” Khosrow Vaziri (2-1)

w/ Jim Cornette, Hotchkiss Featherbottom, & Claudio Castagnoli

vs.

Jeff Cobb (2-3)

    Cobb opens up with a dropkick but Sheiky dodges it and suddenly Jeff Cobb plants Sheik with a brutal piledriver. Sheik stumbles to his feet and walks right into a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS and Cobb goes for the pin but Khosrow kicks out. Sheiky rolls out of the ring and goes up to Cornette, asking him for some pills, brother. Cobb grabs the bottle of Nugenix Total-T out of Sheik's hand and smashes it on his head, dick pills are flying everywhere. Ref Don Stevens doesn’t disqualify Cobb and Cobb sends Sheiky back into the ring. Hotchkiss is crawling around on the floor trying to pick up all the “candies” that just got spilled. Jeff Cobb and The Iron Sheik go back and forth. Cobb kicks out of a quick rollup. Sheik kicks Cobb in the stomach several times and starts working in a Boston crab but Jeff Cobb comes back around with several offensive maneuvers and flurries of punches. Sheiky is able to counter and hook in his CAMEL CLUTCH, but was he able to take enough Nugenix Total-T to get his engines going? Not quite, Cobb makes it to the ropes and crawls out of the ring. Sheik is getting fired up, he follows Cobb out of the ring but gets planted with a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS through the timekeeper’s table. Cobb tosses Sheik back into the ring and goes to town on him. Cobb hits multiple Bam Bams and goes for the pin. Cornette gets up on the apron and taunts Jeff Cobb who springs up and gets in his face. Corny grabs Jeff Cobb and says “Now, Khosrow! Now!” and Sheiky comes charging at his opponent crotch-first but the big Hawaiian gets out of the way and Cornette gets blasted off of the ring apron by “The Meat That Can’t Be Beat!” Cobb gets back to work but Sheik starts to feel his confidence growing by the inch, at least part of him is “hulking up.” Sheik hits a series of belly to belly suplexes on Jeff Cobb, he’s starting to Sheik-Up! Sheik with a huge sidewinder suplex and kicks him in the stomach for good measure. Cobb and Sheik go back and forth now. Sheik tries for another sneaky rollup, but Cobb still has fight in him. Sheiky in desperation hits Cobb with his loaded boot! What was it loaded with? Sheik reaches in and pulls out another bottle of Nugenix Total-T! He squeezes the bottle and the dick pills fly up into his mouth and like Popeye and his spinach, you can see the gears are turning at full-speed now! Sheik stomps Jeff Cobb in the small of the back and takes him straight to T-Town. The ENHANCED CAMEL CLUTCH, with “The Ten Inch Terror” drilling into your spine is enough to make anyone tap out. Except Jeff Cobb can’t. The spinal manipulation from the Sheik’s massive boner has left Jeff Cobb paralyzed, unable to tap out, and the referee calls for the bell.

Result: The Iron Sheik d. Jeff Cobb by submission with the ENHANCED CAMEL CLUTCH

Post-Match: Jim Cornette and Claudio Castagnoli enter the ring while Hotchkiss is still on the floor scrounging for dick pills. They push the referee out of the way and raise Khosrow’s hand in victory. Cornette boasts that he knew his man could do it and that he hopes they have good hospitals in Hawaii because that’s where Cobb is going. Ringside doctors and paramedics are checking on Cobb, he seems to have regained feeling in his extremities but still cannot get to his feet. Cornette laughs at the medical personnel bringing a stretcher to ringside as they pass by them on the way up the ramp. Cornette has quite the motley crew of charges, but Hotchkiss, Khosrow, and Claudio are not a trio to trifle with.

INTERMISSION