ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING

[gnw2022]

FROM the KPBA Sports Center ,here's Milt "Sticks" Hanson......

Milt: Hidy ho wrestling fans, this is your Ol buddy Sticks here reminding you to tune in TOMORROW, for another rip-roaring edition of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here on Prudhoe Bay's home for professional wrestling KPBA UHF CH.58! On tomorrow's show.....George Wells....The Duke of Dorchester Pete Doherty, The Rising Suns 1&2 w/Nikita Breznikov and the long awaited debut of SAM HOUSTON, plus other great APAPW stars....Tomorrow night 11pm- Sign-off.
See you there fans!

(Voice-over) : We now return you back to our scheduled programming .....The Alaskan Moose Calling and Beard Championships...live from Anchorage.........

[gnw2022]

ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING...........EPISODE #67
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(Voice-over): Huddle around those TV sets wrestling fans, time for another thrill-packed edition of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING on KPBA UHF CH.58, Here's your "Host with the Most", Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson ....

MILT: A big hidy ho once again fans, and welcome to ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here in Prudhoe Bay! One programming change, due to the Dense Fog Advisory, for most of our great state, due to the abnormally warm temperatures, The Rising Suns along with their "Leader" Nikita Breznikov were not able to get a flight out of Anchorage to Wasilla, so they will not be wrestling on today's show. However, we always schedule a "stand by" match just in case this sorta thing was to happen. So fear not loyal wrestling brothers and sisters we are good to go with a full show tonight! And yes all you single ladies out there tonight is the APAPW debut of that tall drink of water you gals have been waiting for SAM HOUSTON.....our replacement match Roy Welch vs Pete Doherty will "kick this pig" right after our first commercial break....fans we will be back directly.....after this.....

*Ch.58 Weather Watch/BUNS-N-GUNS GENTLEMEN'S CLUB AND SHOOTING RANGE *

MILT: WE are back, and I must apologize, our staff has informed my Neanderthal self, that it is a whole new generation watching out there. Therefore I must include you single males, if that is your persuasion in with the single ladies, awaiting the arrival of Mr. Houston. I hope you great fans can excuse my "faux pas".
OUR opening match tonight is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsor Prudhoe Bay Indigenous Remedies and Pharmacy, 217 Orca Ave., downtown Prudhoe Bay. Registered Pharmacist Benjamin Evers, says Spring is Here, and love is in the air! Now is the time to stock up on that little blue pill, that puts the bit in your drill...VIAGRA. THE yearly shipment has arrived, so if you don't wanna to be "Down" for "WHATEVER" this Spring....."rise" early and get down to Prudhoe Bay Indigenous Remedies and Pharmacy. ...let's wrestle!

Roy Welch vs Pete Doherty. This was a perfect opening match, full of offense from both participants! Doherty " The Duke of Dorchester"
was up to his usual dirty tricks and for a considerable bit has Welch reeling. Welch mounts a small comeback, that is thwarted by a Doherty LOW-BLOW (no DQ). Pete eventually gets the 1,2,3 using a second rope knee drop.

MILT: The victory goes to THE DUKE OF DORCHESTER, one Pete Doherty, who now has as many wins here in APAPW as he has upper teeth, and that's not many fans (Milt chuckles).... SAM HOUSTON IS NEXT...don't you even think about touching that dial fans, it happens right after we pay some bills. ....

*Dewey,Cheatham &Howe Attorneys at Law/Darcy's IGLOO Motel*

MILT: The fans at ringside are rabid with excitement, waiting for this one let's get ringside.......(points the camera-man towards the ring area)

Randy Mulkey waits for the arrival of his opponent SAM HOUSTON! Young HOUSTON bursts out from the back , his hat on, his chaps slappin....high-fiving his way into the ring, the full-house (of 10) screaming wildly! Quickly removing his chaps and hat.....the ref calls for the bell. Of course it was the Sam Houston show from bell to bell, with little if any resistance from Mulkey. Effortlessly Sam gets the easy win with his STEER BUSTER (bulldog).

MILT: THAT is how it is done fans....wrestling a near perfect match in his debut SAM HOUSTON. Great things on the grappling horizon for that young man, I am sure of it. He will be tested however, by some of the tougher veterans here in ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING you can take that to the bank...yesiree. . .....our resident lunatic Wolfman Farkus in action when we return here to APAPW. .....keep it here fans......

Back from break, the bell rings and Wolfman Farkus mixes it up with Big Tex MacKenzie! MacKenzie uses his size to keep Farkus at bay, delivering some effective offense in the way of boots, beels, and slams. Farkus turns the tide biting Tex's head until it bleeds (breaking each time,just before the automatic dq). Wolfman works over MacKenzie in the corner with knee lifts and solid right hands. MacKenzie starts to tire (probably from blood loss). He is pinned after Farkus leaps from the top turnbuckle landing a diving headbutt!

MILT: I have to admit it was an unorthodox but impressive outing for Farkus, I think Tex is gonna want a rabies test after that toothy assault. TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT is next the ever popular George Wells squares off against Moose Morrowski right after these important commercial messages. .....

*Bob Kanuck's Used Cars/Mokowski's Taxidermy*

MILT: We're back, by now you all know the drill, if our allotted time runs out, we will keep the cameras rolling and show you what happens on our next broadcast! This TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsor, Ole and Lena's Discount House of Flannel, 119 W. Barren Ave. here in the Bay. It is time to blowout all their WINTER overstocked apparel. Hats, gloves, coats, cover-alls etc.etc. Now that "snowy time" is over and you don't need it , IT'S ON SALE! WOW prices are slashed a whopping 2%....you SPOIL us Ole and Lena (eye roll). Get that winter gear while the getting is mediocre, all day this Saturday 9am-10pm at Ole and Lena's Discount House of Flannel. ......let's wrestle!!

George Wells vs Moose Morrowski. This is a two-fisted slobber-knocker! Both Wells and Morrowski are landing the heavy artillery! Wells mixes in a bit of wrestling, while Moose puts his boots to work. Back and forth, this one is exciting and fairly even. Wells whips Morrowski into the corner and charges headfirst....MOOSE vacates the corner and Wells plows through the turnbuckle hitting the steel post! George turns and staggers forward, where Morrowski scoops him up and PILEDRIVES him nearly though the mat. Moose covers Wells for the 1,2,3!!!!

MILT: Fans I am flabbergasted, what a dilly of a match! Moose Morrowski is your winner, in a real back and forth bruhaha. .....excellent! That is gonna wrap it up for this episode, until next time SO LONG ERRYBODY!!!!

(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. ...fade out).

[gnw2022]

APAPW Episode.............68
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(Voice-over): WASSUP Prudhoe Bay! Are you ready for another thrill-packed edition of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING ? Well gather 'round the RCA,SONY,HITACHI, SANYO....or even that old Motorola cause it's TIME for APAPW once again here on KPBA UHF CH.58.....and here's our trusty compadre, Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor, Milt "Sticks" Hanson to guide us in all things APAPW.......take it away kemosabi...

MILT: Wow I've never sounded so hip and trendy thank you for that introduction....I think. HIDY HO fans, here in studio and at home, have we got a show tonight...Mike Masters will make his P-Bay debut as will his opponent Manny Villalobos, but our MAIN EVENT is gonna be LIT as you young folks say...as APAPW Tag-Team Champions THE BRUISE BROTHERS, Don and Ron Harris, will face Breznikov's Army in the form of The Rising Suns 1 & 2, and the straps will be on the line!! Gonna be a real barn-burner for sure!....keep it here Barry O and El Bracero get it all started...right after these messages.......

*Ch.58 Weather Watch/The Slippery Sealion Bar and Grill *

MILT: Welcome back one and all, time to wrestle! Our opening contest is sponsored exclusively by donating sponsor Bob Kanuck's Used Cars, 1100 County Rd 17, in Prudhoe Bay! You are going to love this week's special. If you've ever dreamed of owning a European sports car, this is your chance! Bob is offering you the opportunity to own ..............a 1978 Renault Le Car.....ooh la la, this baby is loaded. AM Radio, 4-speed manual transmission, and 4 cylinders of power! You'll feel like a foreign dignitary once you get behind the wheel of this tres magnifique automobile! You can be the envy of the Bay in this rusty, but running (at the time of this ad) hatchback! Only $700 down and 5 years of monthly payments (with approved credit), or $19,000 cash and you can drive or push this French delight home, this week only at Bob Kanuck's Used Cars. .....let's go ringside!!!!

El Bracero vs Barry O. Once again the electrifying Mexican star El Bracero took to the rafters of studio A to the delight of his adoring fans and Barry O was on his back in no time! A series of mule-kicks, and a monkey flip, and Barry was on the canvas looking up! Bracero finishes him off with a scintillating MISSLE SPLASH from the top turnbuckle!

MILT: Another impressive win by The Mexican Jumpin' Bean ....El Bracero! He knows how to get a show started by golly! Keep it here fans Mike Masters and Manny Villalobos hook up after the break.....cue the mariachi band we'll be right back ......wow!

*Prudhoe Bay V.F.W. Post #3476/Mokowski's Taxidermy*

After the break we come back as the bell sounds and our next match is underway without any introductions. Mike Masters 5'11 245, Cincinnati Ohio versus Manny Villalobos 5'8 211, San Antonio Texas. The cocky Masters strutted and flexed, taunting the crowd and Villalobos. An over-zealous Manny charges forward and Masters drops him with a running clothesline, that set the tone for this match. Although Manny made a brief comeback, that initial blow really knocked him for a loop, that he never recovers fully from. After toying with Villalobos for a bit, Mike slaps on his MASTERLOCK, and Manny submits.....

MILT: Impressive debut indeed for one Mr. Mike Masters (Mike approaches the podium)..you have something to say Mike?

MASTERS: The ultimate physical specimen has arrived to this dump of a town! (Flexing)...All you pot-bellied losers in the back, better hide your women.. .a real man is in Alaska...NOBODY CAN ESCAPE THE MASTERLOCK......Nobody.....MILT ....the pleasure has been all yours.....(exits)...

MILT: Some gruff dialogue from Mike Masters, only time will tell if he can back up those claims....don't touch that dial we'll be right back!!!

*Darcy's IGLOO Motel/Ch.58 Obituaries*

(Back from commercial we find Nikita Breznikov at the podium).....
BREZ: AND now we bring yu da finest wrestlers in APAPW first comrade MIKE SHARPE will decimate dis Gene Ligon. ....den DA RISINK SUNS will deal wit those Harris boys....no more talk ve vill wrestle......NOW!

IRON MIKE SHARPE is all business as he cuts through Gene Ligon like a hot knife through butter. He controls the match from bell to bell, and didn't even need to use his arm-brace. He catches Gene coming off the ropes and powerslams him for the 1,2,3. Breznikov enters the ring and raises Sharpe's hand in victory...

MILT: MAIN EVENT IS NEXT.....APAPW Tag-Team Championship is on the line, fans it happens Next.....right after these important commercial messages. .......

*Fook Yu's China House Restaurant/Lil Ernie's Hardware Hank Store*

MILT: Our television time remaining MAIN EVENT is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsor BUNS-N-GUNS GENTLEMEN'S CLUB AND SHOOTING RANGE, 3100 Whitetail Ave. downtown Prudhoe Bay!
B&G would like to announce it deepest regrets for the confusion they caused with their ALL YOU CAN EAT SNAPPER special last month. Many patrons were upset to find out it was our Lent fish dinner special. SHOW us your paid receipt, this Monday and you will pay NO COVER CHARGE!! While you're there check out our AMMO prices....the best in the state...Guaranteed! BUNS-N-GUNS, Alaska's premiere Gentlemen's Club and Shooting Range. ......our combatants are in the ring....let's get crackin' shall we!

Rising Suns vs APAPW Tag-Team Champions Ron/Don Harris! This match starts off with both teams slugging away at each other, and Nikita Breznikov nearly gets caught in the middle, but manages to get outside of the ring without incident. Ron and Don use their strength to keep the devious martial artists from using their oriental arsenal. Ron is soon tossing R.S. 1 around the ring like a rag-doll, as Breznikov screams foul to the referee!! After finally tagging in Rising Sun 2....the match goes through a back and forth period, highspots for both. Soon however, The Bruise Brothers regain control after an outside 4-man skirmish. ......

MILT: FANS, I regret to inform you we are running short on time for this week's show! We will keep our cameras rolling and bring you the results from this match.. on our next broadcast! This is MILT HANSON saying SO LONG ERRYBODY. .....WE'LL SEE YOU Next time on ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING!!!
(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. ...fade out.)

[victoryroll84]

Another fine edition of APAPW gnw!

Mike Sharpe is on a roll (He'll be wanting his gold back I'm sure)

Keep the dice hot in Alaska

[gnw2022]

ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING...................CH. 58 KPBA
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(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays...)
(Voice-over):
From KBPA Ch.58's SPORTS....here's Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson..........

MILT: HIDY HO wrestling fans, this is your Ol' buddy MILT, reminding you to tune in this weekend for a brand spanking new episode of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here on UHF CH.58 KPBA! We have a couple of debuts not gonna spill the beans just now hehe.... plus the results from last episode's big tag-team bruhaha between APAPW champions The Bruise Brothers (Ron and Don Harris).....and Breznikov's Army members THE RISING SUNS 1&2....it was a doozy lemme tell ya......plus all you lady fans out there won't want to miss SAM HOUSTON who will be in this week's Main Event!!! So get those beers chilling, and send mama out for the snacks, and tune in!!! Until tomorrow night this is Ol' MILT sayin' SEE YOU THEN ERRYBODY!!!!....(North To Alaska plays until fade to commercial)......

[gnw2022]

ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING...........EPISODE #69
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(Video footage 2:45): Show opens where last episode's Main Event went off air with APAPW TAG-TEAM CHAMPS The Bruise Brothers (Ron and Don Harris) in a 4-man out of the ring brawl with Nikita Breznikov's RISING SUNS (1&2). All four men are trading blows and the referee can't separate them! Breznikov hollers towards the back...and out comes IRON MIKE SHARPE....to join the fray.....soon with his aid The Rising Suns are in control kicking and chopping away at Don and Ron as the ref calls for the bell and calls for a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION.....as a result the Bruise Brothers retain the belts......)..... ...

(Voice-over): Fans it is the magic hour you have been waiting for....time for ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING direct from Prudhoe Bay Alaska's UHF Superstation Ch. 58 KPBA! Sit back as Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson guides you through a great hour of the best and ONLY wrestling in the northern tip the great state of ALASKA....APAPW..........
(Applause light flashes....the ringside Fans come alive, as Milt takes his exhalted place at the podium.....where MOOSE MORROWSKI waits...

MILT: HIDY H.....(MORROWSKI grabs the mic)...

Moose: I need to set the record straight on a few things....(Milt opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off)....Jest shut your YAPPER MILT.....before I slap the taste right out of your mouth! Seems to me a lot of fuss has been made about this here AVALANCHE BUZZ TYLER!! How tough can this man be if'n The Moose hasn't never heard of him, let alone wrestled this bum? I AM THE JACK-BULL of this here company and until he beats me he ain't SQUAT...(MOOSE storms to the back amid a chorus of boos from the studio faithful).

MILT: Well looks like Mr. Morrowski rolled out on the wrong side of the bedroll...I'm sure Buzz Tyler would love to meet you anytime and anywhere. SINCE the cat has been let out of the proverbial bag.....Avalanche Tyler will debut right here tonight.....as well as the mid-western sensation known as Spike Huber. And tonight might as well hailed as LADIES NIGHT as former APAPW Tag-Team Champs THE CALIFORNIA DREAMERS, Ed Boulder and Johnny Ace will be in action....and if that weren't enough......Our TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT is for a shot at APAPW CHAMPEEN David Taylor....and it will be between IRON MIKE SHARPE former champ w/Nikita Breznikov in his corner, and SAM HOUSTON....folks this night starts with Boulder/Ace in action right after these commercial messages. .........

*Ch.58 Weather Watch/The Slippery Sealion Bar and Grill *

MILT: Our opening match tonight is a tag-team affair between Ed Boulder and Johnny Ace, The California Dreamers as they will face the team of Pete Doherty and Barry O. This match is sponsored exclusively by our newest donating sponsor CASA DEL FUEGO TACOS AND SUCH, 645 Fiesta Drive in Prudhoe Bay!. And the owner Pepe Alvarez would like you all to know the RESTROOMS have been fixed and re-enforced since the BUILD YOUR OWN BURRITO BUFFET incident that occurred last February. They have been cleared by The State Health Department, and are open again for business. Pepe and his staff are ready to serve you the best (and only) Mexican cuisine in town! Open noon to 10pm daily .....let's wrestle!!

A reasonably good outing for the former champs Boulder and Ace, as they soundly defeat the team of Pete Doherty and Barry O. Barry handled himself pretty well against Boulder early on, but The Duke of Dorchester, Doherty just couldn't keep pace with Ace. JOHNNY pins Pete after a power bomb!

MILT: Welcome back Dreamers, Boulder and Ace looking very sharp tonight...I'm sure a title shot re-match is in their immediate future....keep it here folks as SPIKE HUBER debuts next on ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING. ...right after we pay some bills that is......

*Darcy's IGLOO Motel/Bruno's BAIL Bonds and LOANS *

Straight from commercial we hear the bell and Tony Leone squares off against SPIKE HUBER. Leone jumps on the muscled youngster and puts the boots to him good. He chokes Huber, rakes his eyes....and tosses him out to the floor! A stunned Spike tries desperately to re-enter the ring but Leone keeps knocking him back to the floor. As the ref is admonishing Tony, Huber reaches in from the outside apron and sweeps Leone's leg, then deftly slides back into the ring. Leone backs into the far corner on his knees, hand outstretched in friendship.....but an incensed HUBER slaps it aside and begins to throw some heavy right hands. After a barrage of power moves and crushing holds...SPIKE pins Leone after an impressive AIRPLANE SPIN/FALLING BACK DROP...finisher!.....

MILT: My oh my....they told me this youngster had some spunk....but I am still amazed, Spike Huber ladies and gents.... the long awaited debut of "Avalanche" Tyler is next....don't you dare touch that dial, we will return with more wrestling action post-haste....

*Ch.58 Obituaries/Bob Kanuck's Used Cars*

MILT: WE are back fans.......Farkus and Tyler await you ringside......let's go there!!.......Camera pans to the ring where Wolfman Farkus can be seen gnawing on the top rope.....then Buzz Tyler bursts through the dressing room doors...and the crowd goes wild! The stocky man from Nashville waves to and high fives the ringside faithful (full house of 10 once again, per fire codes) and jumps onto the apron and enters the APAPW ring for the first time! As he is removing his vest....FARKUS charges lands a clubbing forearm, and then starts gnawing on his opponent's head. Wolfman then slams Buzz hard to the canvas and goes for the cover.....1.....2....but Tyler pushes Farkus off with authority, then gets to his feet. What happens next is all TYLER...a series of punches, a gut buster and then a clothesline and Farkus is reeling. After a big bodyslam AVALANCHE pins Wolfman after his signature AVALANCHE SLAM!!!......

MILT: Wowsers, I have got to be honest fans, I had heard how tough this guy is, but until you witness it first-hand, you have no idea! He put the smack down on that crazy Wolfman for sure!!....TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT a shot at the APAPW TELEVISION CHAMPION to winner.....it's about to go down....and it will right after these important commercial messages. .ho boy!

*Mokowski's Taxidermy/Ole and Lena's Discount House of Flannel*

MILT: You loyal viewers already know the drill pertaining to our TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT here on ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING. But for those of you tuning in for the first time.. ..if our allotted time runs out, we will continue to roll the cameras and bring you all the action from this one, on our next broadcast. .....This MAIN EVENT is sponsored exclusively by donating sponsor Lil Ernie's Hardware Hank Store, 108 Knobby Pine Blvd. in the Bay. When people are asked where the best screws in Prudhoe Bay can be found
most people would say BUNS-N-GUNS GENTLEMEN'S CLUB, but not in the month of May friends....that would be Lil Ernie's Hardware Hank Store! This month only Ernie's Hardware Hank turns itself into THE HOUSE OF A MILLION SCREWS! All bulk screws are on sale the month of May only at Lil Ernie's! Wood screws, dry-wall screws, sheet metal screws...all at 15% off per pound......with that kind of deal you can screw your brains out, so to speak...and remember "If Lil Ernie's Hardware doesn't have it, you damn well don't need it!" This sale ends May 31st......let's go ringside. .........

In the ring Iron Mike Sharpe paces intently back and forth....as Nikita Breznikov jaws back at the angered fans...then SAM HOUSTON exits the back towards the ring.....and the crowds roars in approval....he leaps over the top-rope into the ring a begins to remove his, hat, chaps and vest. Sharpe feigns a bum-rush ...but Sam rises fast, both fists locked and loaded. After the pat-down of both participants the ref signals for the bell and this APAPW title shot match commences as both men lock up in the center of the ring. The contest starts out pretty uneventful as both men are testing each other, looking for a weakness to exploit. Soon it breaks down as SHARPE starts using his questionable tactics and gets the advantage on Houston. Sam refuses to submit or be pinned after an exhaustive amount of attempts by Sharpe. Houston begins a valiant comeback with the crowd giving him their collective energy! After kicking out of a Houston pin attempt following a STEER BUSTER, Sharpe uses a knee lift to slow Sam down. Sharpe sees Breznikov motion for an Irish Whip in his direction, hoping to use his flagpole to strike Houston. Instead SAM reverses the maneuver and Nikita cracks Sharpe instead, who staggers forward into a small-package pin attempt by HOUSTON....1.....2......3!....

MILT: What a reversal of fortune for young Sam Houston. .....he pulls out the upset tonight and will face APAPW TELEVISION CHAMPEEN David Taylor on an upcoming episode of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING. .....right here on KPBA CHANNEL 58! THIS IS YOUR OL PAL MILT HANSON SAYING GOOD NIGHT UNTIL NEXT TIME ERRYBODY!!!
(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. .........fade out. )

[gnw2022]

ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING.........................Ep. 70
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(Video footage: Moose Morrowski, from the previous show) " I AM THE JACK-BULL of this here company, and until he beats me he AIN'T SQUAT!!"....(music starts, cue announcer)...

(Voice-over ): GOOD EVENING P-BAY and the surrounding area, time once again for ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING ON UHF CH.58 KPBA! Here as always is our favorite host and state treasure, Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson.........

MILT (next to him Buzz Tyler): Welcome and HIDY HO fans, to another exciting hour-ish of the best PRO WRESTLING in all of Alaska, ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here on good ol channel 58! We opened the show with some pretty strong verbage by Moose Morrowski who was referencing the arrival of the man to my left , one Avalanche Buzz Tyler, and BUZZ you would like to address this....(Buzz grabs the mic, stares into the camera and speaks)...

BUZZ: I'M not gonna git up here and get all upset, and rage and snort and that (pause) STUFF. I have ways been a man of action. My grandma always told me guys like you...MOOSE MORROWSKI are like cabbages.....all HEAD and no REAR. So now that your yappin' is over, how about you and me.....next show...I'll show everyone here in studio and at home....that THE JACK-BULL AIN'T JACK SH(pause)....STUFF!
(Tyler exits)

MILT: Well, well, well the gauntlet has been thrown by one AVALANCHE TYLER, we will have to see if Mr. Morrowski has the umm (pause) STUFF to accept the challenge. Great show on tap BREZNIKOV'S RISING SUNS will kick this pig right after we pay the bills...don't you go anywhere, we will return post-haste. ..

*Ch.58 Weather Watch/OBITUARIES*

MILT: Welcome back our first match tonight is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsor Leon's Gas and Service Station, 417 E. 2nd St., downtown Prudhoe Bay. This coming Wednesday Leon celebrates his 60th year in business, and he is rolling back his prices to his opening year 1964! .....No unfortunately not the price of gas, or repairs or any grocery items, Leon may be old but he's not SENILE! ALL 5-cent candy will be only A PENNY all day Wednesday at Leon's Gas and Service Station! Leon hasn't forgotten his adult customers either! With every fill-up at the pump, Leon will give you a hot cup of Joe (small only), at the 1964 price of 15-cents! Celebrate 60 years with Leon's Gas and Service Station this Wednesday 6am-Midnight, let's wrestle!

Breznikov leads his charges Rising Suns 1&2, to the ring where The brothers Mulkey wait nervously. The bell rings as R.S. #2 and Randy Mulkey lock up....and Breznikov goes over to the podium.....(talks while the action is being played out, the SUNS, dismantling their hapless opponents)...BREZ: DA Milt, there is no need for me to intervene as my men vill destroy deez men no problem, jest like ve always do..(Milt sighs loudly)..Rising Sun #1 super kicks Bill Mulkey who falls through the ropes to the floor) Listen to me now, but believe me later...BRUISE BROTHERS..your days as champions vill be endink wery, wery Zoon....no more talking I go now.....At this point Brez returns ringside just in time to see Rising Sun #2 pin Randy after a powerslam.

MILT: Well I can't speak on behalf of the APAPW TAG-TEAM Champeens Ron and Don Harris, but I know they don't back away from anyone. Breznikov's Army looked impressive tonight, but it was The Mulkeys....Mike Masters and Frankie Williams up next....WE'LL be right back!

*Darcy's IGLOO Motel/CASA DEL FUEGO TACOS AND SUCH *

Back from commercial we go right to the action Masters vs Williams. Surprisingly Frankie has some fight in him tonight and he gets an early pin attempt, but Masters flicks him off before the ref could even count to 1. A bit embarrassed Mike cranks up the offense and easily diposes of Frankie who submits immediately to the MASTER-LOCK.

MILT: A vulgar display of power from Mike Masters. ..one note our MAIN EVENT tonight will be a NON-TITLE matchup between ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING TV CHAMPEEN David Taylor and his opponent will be Charlie Cook, but before that Tex MacKenzie will square off against Joe Turco right after these important commercial messages. ..don't you dare touch that dial, we will return shortly......

*Bruno's BAIL Bonds and LOANS/BUNS-N-GUNS GENTLEMEN'S CLUB AND SHOOTING RANGE *

MILT: WE are back....point that camera towards the ring....MacKenzie and Turco let's do this!

Fan favorite Tex MacKenzie and resident no good-nik Joe Turco put on a great match. Turco was especially ruthless with his questionable tactics and really kept Tex on his heels early. BUT Joe was unable to pin MacKenzie, and Tex cranked up his offense after stopping Turco with a big boot right in the kisser! Then a signature MacKenzie BULLDOG does the rest.

MILT: Tex MacKenzie ladies and gents, on a proverbial roll as of late here in APAPW. I'm sure Ch.58 Station Owner/Office Manager/Programming Director and APAPW Commissioner Jonathan P Riggleman has taken note of his winning ways and he will reward Tex very soon for his efforts....MAIN EVENT NON-TITLE match is next.....WE'LL be right back fans.....

*Prudhoe Bay MOOSE Lodge/Krohls Grocery*

MILT: Tonight's TIME REMAINING MAIN EVENT is sponsored exclusively by donating sponsor PFISTER PROCTOLOGY, 2601 Medical Parkway Suite No.2, in Prudhoe Bay. Dr. Pfister would like to remind everyone that Memorial Day weekend is almost here. And with it comes the 5 B's: BEER, BRATS, BBQ, BEANS and BOWEL blockage or leakage! Pfister Proctology is taking reservations now for PRE/POST holiday appointments! We got you covered coming or going.....but it's backing up fast so don't delay. Call for your appointment or appointments now. Active or In-Active Military members get their first look FREE. Pfister Proctology where the "P" is silent but You won't be.....now let's go ringside shall we?

In the ring Charlie Cook is pacing back and forth in anticipation. .....as a distorted and garbled rendition of "God Save the Queen" crackles and pops through the PA. ....and out comes APAPW TELEVISION CHAMP....David Taylor swinging the UNION JACK proudly as he struts towards the ring, giving the "royalty wave" to the booing ringside fans. He puts the flag securely in his corner, and thumbs his nose at Cook while removing the APAPW belt from his waist. Both men meet with the referee in the center of the ring for the pat-down and instructions. After the formalities are over the bell rings.........Charlie Cook is focused, and sharp, taking quick control over the overconfident champion Taylor. David after nearly being pinned twice, leaves the ring feigning a walk to the back, but Charlie gives chase and soon both men are back in the ring. After an eye-gouge and a back rake, Taylor is in control and puts a beating down on Cook. After two kickouts by Charlie, Taylor puts the boots to him even harder, then peels him off the mat and Irish-whips him into the ropes..............where COOK comes off the ropes catching David Taylor with a FLYING SHOULDER BLOCK and makes the cover for the 1....2.....3! As Charlie's hand is raised in victory an incensed Taylor hits him from behind with his flagpole, dropping Cook to the mat with a thud!!! As he continues to punish Charlie we hear MILT. ........

MILT: WOWSERS a non-title win for Charlie Cook, but he's paying a heavy, heavy price indeed..this most certainly should garner Charlie a title-shot soon if he survives this terrible beating by the sorest of losers and poor example of a champion in David Taylor. ..security has come from the back, to finally restore order here in studio A....folks that's all the time we have for this edition of ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, I'm MILT HANSON saying until next time... Good Night ERRYBODY !!!
(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. .....fade out. )

[gnw2022]

ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING..........EP. 71
********************************
(Voice-over): It's the "Magic Hour" Prudhoe Bay!
Time for ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, direct from P-Bay's favorite (and only) station KPBA UHF CH.58! Here to bring you all the action as only he can, is Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hansonnnnnn!!!!

MILT: And a great big HIDY HO to one and all, hope you are having a great weekend wherever you may be watching from. If you missed our last show, Boy oh boy you missed a doozy. First Avalanche Buzz Tyler stopped in to challenge APAPW's self-proclaimed "JACK-BULL" , Moose Morrowski to a match...and that will be tonight's MAIN EVENT, and you aren't gonna want to miss this one I can assure you! Also in a huge upset Charlie Cook defeated, in a non-title matchup APAPW TELEVISION CHAMPEEN David Taylor! And the challengers are lining up to face Mr. Taylor, "The Snob from across the Pond". And NEXT WEEK, our MAIN EVENT will be an APAPW TELEVISION Championship match to the first man in line, via his victory a couple of episodes ago SAM HOUSTON, yes indeedy do! Rick McGraw, Rocky King, Iron Mike Sharpe along with Nikita Breznikov, and George Wells coming up on tonight's big shew! Sam Houston is going to start things off tonight.....right after we return from these important commercial messages......keep'er here fans we will be back post-haste. .....

*Ch.58 Weather Watch/Lil Ernie's Hardware Hank Store*

MILT: Folks Sam Houston and Rocky King await in the ring, and their opening match tonight is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsor Fook Yu's China House Restaurant, 1278 Halfshell Blvd. in The Bay! Mr. Yu cordially invites you all down to his establishment for a very special buffet! Once every 17 years FOOK YU'S CHINA HOUSE RESTAURANT celebrates CICADA FEST!!! Featuring mounds upon mounds of those crunchy critters, served every way possible..Cicada-sui, Sweet n' Sour, Cicada drop soup, Cicada Rangoons, Cicada chow mein, even Cicada on a stick, and don't forget CICADA Spring-rolls, Egg-rolls and Cicada Sushi! Dessert no problemo Cicada sweet-bread cookies and sorbet await...and you can wash it all down with Fook Yu's very own special recipe Cicada Tea......or SODA...so refreshing! Celebrate CICADA-FEST this Saturday and Sunday at FOOK YU'S CHINA HOUSE RESTAURANT. .....let's wrestle!!

Sam Houston vs Rocky King. After the expected handshake, these two put on a well-rounded clean wrestling match. Rocky was competitive and surprised Sam with a quick roll-up pin attempt, but Houston kicked out at 2. After that perhaps in anticipation of next week's title shot, Houston cranked up the offense, and pins Rocky after a standing dropkick ,with his trusty STEER BUSTER!...

MILT: Good to watch some good ol' rasslin, what an opening contest. Houston looks primed and ready to meet The Champ David Taylor right here next week on ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING. ...hold on to your hats fans.....McGraw and Doherty scrap next.....right after we pay some bills!!! Seeya in a few.....

*Bruno's BAIL Bonds and LOANS/Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Attorneys at Law *

Back from commercial we are straight to the action "The Duke of Dorchester" Pete Doherty versus Rick "Quickdraw" McGraw. McGraw presses the action early and often, and a reeling Doherty rolls out of the ring for a breather, and to jaw with the taunting ringside fans. Pete almost gets counted out arguing outside the ring, but gets on the apron just in time to stop the count. He clubs McGraw in the noggin with a stiff right hand, and gets back into the ring. Doherty uses his cheapshot opportunity to it's fullest, and the stunned Rick McGraw is unable to recover. After an impressive beating McGraw is pinned after The Duke's second-rope knee drop!

MILT: My oh my The Duke of Dorchester, Pete Doherty swaggering to the back after that impressive win over Rick McGraw. I'm just as shocked as you fans.... I didn't see that coming no-siree.....Breznikov's Army makes an appearance in the form of IRON MIKE SHARPE next here on ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, his opponent the always tough always ready George Wells. Don't you dare touch that dial we'll be right back!!!.....

*ACME Pawn/Granny's Nook and Cranny Antiques*

MILT: Big MAIN EVENT coming up Morrowski vs Avalanche Buzz Tyler, but another interesting fracas is up next, the combatants are in the ring....point the camera in that direction if you please.....(camera switches to ringside view).

In the ring stands Nikita Breznikov flag in hand, beside him is his charge, a former APAPW TELEVISION Champ himself IRON MIKE SHARPE. George Wells rushes out from the back the fans roaring with glee! Sharpe wastes no time and charges out to meet him halfway to the ring!.....Wells receives two stiff punches from Sharpe but they don't seem to phase him as he tackles Sharpe to the floor! Both men are rolling around pounding on each other, the crowd spurring them on! The ref has no choice but to call for the bell, and the NO CONTEST...as the two men never make it to the ring, instead they brawl to the back.

MILT: Nothing settled in that one fans, no love lost between those two believe you me! Those two will most assuredly meet again soon, and maybe some special stipulations need to be in play, so we can get a resolution. I'm sure APAPW Commissioner Jonathan P Riggleman will be ruling on that very, very soon! THE MEETING OF THE JACK-BULLS....TYLER VS MORROWSKI. ....keep it here its up NEXT!!!

*PB Hookah and SMOKE Shop/Lowered Expectations Dating Service*

MILT: WE are back and something is amiss here, the man to my left Moose Morrowski is here his arm in a........sling?

Morrowski: I tell ya if it weren't for bad luck I'd have none at all Milt. Ya see on my way here to the studio I got into a little fender-bender he-he, and boogered up my elbow....and I am medically unable to rassle here today (crowd Boos loudly)...so TYLER consider yourself lucky that an ACT OF GOD will keep you from gettin' your (BLEEP) kicked tonight...I really wanted to tear into your hide too.....(MORROWSKI exits gleefully to the back as Tyler stands in the ring arms held out)....

MILT: Big disappointment fans, but we do have a standby wrestler, and after we come back from this break....we will have a match....one way or another......WE'LL be back directly.....What the(cut to commercial)...

*Pfister Proctology/Ch.58 Obituaries*

MILT: Fans we are back and while our standby replacement is finishing gearing up, this Time remaining MAIN EVENT is brought to you by donating sponsor Darcy's IGLOO Motel 1360 Beaver Trail Road in Prudhoe Bay! IT'S spring and Love is in the air! Spring is the time when Darcy implements her HOURLY RATES from now until the end of Spring. So bring your, wife, your side chick, your maid, your Sunday school teacher, your pool boy, Gardner, next door neighbor.....whoever we won't tell. We will even change the sheets and place breath mints on the pillows! This Spring celebrate LOVE at Darcy's IGLOO Motel. ......Tyler is in the ring....and we are ready......let's go ringside!

Buzz Tyler obviously irritated by recent events paces back and forth in the ring then the curtain in the back moves a bit......and all goes quiet ........out steps......RANDY MULKEY? The crowd groans in disbelief as he makes his way to the ring. The referee gives the pre-match instructions and after the ceremonial pat-down calls for the bell.......Tyler rolls his eyes and the two grapplers lock up. Mulkey Irish Whips Buzz into the ropes and tries a shoulder tackle, but ricochets off Tyler and falls out of the ring. He makes it back into the squared circle where he promptly receives a Tyler gut-buster, and Buzz pulls him up before the ref can count to three. He hoists poor Randy up over his shoulder then executes his signature move the AVALANCHE SLAM....and makes the cover, no need to hook the leg, and the ref drops into position 1.....2.......3. Tyler gets up, says nothing, looks sternly into the camera, then marches to the back, as the ref is in the ring tending to a quivering Randy Mulkey.

MILT: Buzz is certainly not happy with tonight's turn of events, I think he even questions the severity of Moose's last minute "INJURY". Nonetheless that is for another day, another time and I'm sure Morrowski and Tyler will square off very, very soon....until next time this is your Ol' BUDDY Milt "Sticks" Hanson saying SO LONG ERRYBODY!!!!

(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. ....fade out).

[ldivock]

The Duke's toothless grin must've been priceless.

[gnw2022]

Jun 4, 2024 4:39:16 GMT -5 ldivock said:

The Duke's toothless grin must've been priceless.

Most definitely, he is an Alaskan adopted son!!!....lol thanks for tuning in my friend!