ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING
Aug 30, 2024 4:12:10 GMT -5
via mobile
victoryroll84, navy, and 1 more like this
Post by gnw2022 on Aug 30, 2024 4:12:10 GMT -5
ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING.............EPISODE #75
**************************************
(Video-footage, Main Event last episode 1:30):
David Taylor slams SD to the mat and goes for the cover 1....2.....Jones barely kicks out. Taylor pulls SD off the canvas and Irish-Whips him across the ring off the far ropes, then gets himself in position for a back body drop! JONES comes off the ropes and drops an elbow onto the back of Taylor's head, knocking him to the mat. Then Jones uses a FALLING HEAD BUTT and covers for the 1,2,3!
(Voice-over): (Big sigh) Hello wrestling aficionados, time again for ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here on KPBA CHANNEL 58! Get ready for an hour of the top rated UHF show in Alaska! We regret to inform you that Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson is under the weather, we wish him a speedy recovery. Tonight's host will be (big sigh again) THE WORLD'S SMARTEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL WRESTLING MANAGER IN ALL THE KNOWN WORLD.......oh boyyyy.....Nikita Breznikov.........(boos echo through the studio as Nikita makes his way to the podium)
BREZ: DA...tank you for the welcome you capitalist dawgs....Finally a host worthy to bring you the exciting acshun of APAPW, I myself Nikita Breznikov will raise de ratings even higher than dat miserable Mr. Hansoon! Many great star appearink tonight such as my comrade Iron Mike Sharpe, who vill, along wit Moose Morrowski, face the cowardly and low team of Avalanche Buzz Tyler and Big Tex MacKenzie. ...dat is your main ewent! We start out things with the rather boorink, Rick McGraw right after dese capitalist pig commercials...watch!!!
*Ch. 58 Weather Watch/Granny's Nook and Cranny Antiques*
(Back from commercial, an irritated Breznikov address the TV audience through the booing of the ringside fans) BREZ: Enuff wit da booing, you ungrateful Americans, you are most fortunate that I am your host! I will not tolerate your insubordination. ..SILENCE! Let me see, I'm not to good wit da englush....(reads the sponsorship plug)...Let me paraphrase...The followink opening contest is sponsored eggclusively by our donating sponsor KROHLS GROCERY STORE, 413 Main St. Prudhoe Bay. Blah,blah, Hot Dogs, blah ,blah blah toilet cleaner turty percent off....go there capitalist dogs......now we go to de ring da?
Rick McGraw vs Frankie Williams. Another fine outing for McGraw. Despite some signs of life from Williams, Rick dominates this one, and is on his game. After turning Frankie into a human pretzel, McGraw turns to his power advantage and pins Frankie after a small offensive burst with an airplane spin.
BREZ: (YAWNING).....wow that was wery,wery, excitink NOT!! Of course they would be carryink McGraw out on a stretcher, if he faced any one of my men......da RISINK SUNS or IRON MIKE SHARPE. ...(crowd chants for Milt)...ENOUGH!!! We continue with the best ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING PROGRAM ever after these not so important commercial messages. ....don't touch that dial. ....
*Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Attorneys at Law/Pfister Proctology*
Back from the commercial break, we go right to the action as the bell rings, and Bruise Brother Don Harris takes on Roy Welch. Despite giving up nearly 10 inches in height, and 100lbs in weight Welch holds his own...for a while. But he just can't put the big 6'8 272 lb, powerhouse Harris on his back for the pin, or make him submit. Don drops the hammer down and tosses Roy all over the ring, before pinning him after a BIG BOOT.......
BREZ: Dat was a ting of beauty, Mr. Harris was magnificent, such brutality, such chaos in the ring....only my men can do it better than he. Up next swine, we will see the also amazink, Mike Masters as he will crush the long-haired hippie and one-half of the cowards known as the "California Dreamers" Johnny Ace ....now watch your propaganda. ....ve will return da....
*Prudhoe Bay V.F.W. Post #3476/The Slippery Sealion Bar and Grill*
BREZ: QUICKLY go to the ring....how does Milt say it......LET'S DO DIS......
In a hotly contested match Mike Masters and Johnny Ace duke it out the entire match allotted time (10:00). Masters nearly won on two occasions, but spurred by the crowd, Ace was able to fight back! Johnny even had Mike in an abdominal stretch, but Masters was able to hip toss him before he had to submit. They fought inside and outside the ring! Masters gets Ace into his MASTER-LOCK just as time runs out. The match ends in a DRAW.
BREZ: Lucky for Ace, The time-keeper rang the bell early I think....saving him the disgrace of defeat.....so sad that you people like that long haired freak.....truly the dominant performance was by Mike Masters.......MAIN EVENT with a real MAN ....Iron Mike Sharpe is next....keep watchink, we vill return......
*Emmet's Outdoor Inc/ACME Pawn*
BREZ: OH DA.....Main Event time is here, time for Tyler and MacKenzie to be crushed, and for all you weaklings to cry as you watch your heroes being defeated....if dis match is not finished in the allotted time, which I highly doubt, we will show you the fall of Tyler and Tex at the beginnink, of next veeks broadcast.This Main Event match is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsoor, and busiest business in all of how you hipsters say it P-BAY. .....Bruno's BAIL Bonds and LOANS, 706 Court St. N. You get put in jail, day get you out.....FOR A PRICE. Back in Mother Russia, you gent sent to Siberia, or maybe a gulag or the SALT MINES....anyway many thanks for the sponsorship.The inevitable winners Sharpe/Morrowski are waiting in the ring bring out the lambs for the slaughter......
Mike Sharpe/Moose Morrowski wait in the ring but not for long as Buzz Tyler and Tex MacKenzie rush to the ring, slide in.....and Sharpe/Moose take a quick powder to the outside and the crowd gives them the business! The referee gets Tyler/Tex into their corner and their opponents return to the ring. Tex and Moose start things off and they start with a bang. Eventually a hair-pull into the corner by Sharpe and he and Moose begin to put the hurt on Tex, while the ref keeps Tyler from rushing in. Some solid double-teaming and soon MacKenzie is on the mat drooling in the clutches of Iron Mike's mouth ripper. After a copius amount of punishment Tex is able to make the tag......AND it's AVALANCHE TIME!! Soon Moose is out on the floor and Sharpe is begging in the corner, but Buzz drills him right in the kisser....as the crowd screams for more....
BREZ: THESE capitalist dogs are cheating!....this is most unfortunate, but we are runnink out of time, hopefully my comrades will overcome the trangressions being perpetrated upon them by the cowards MacKenzie and Tyler. We will bring you the conclusion however it may end on our next broadcast. ......until then this is NIKITA BREZNIKOV sayink! Gouda-bye American Swine!!!!
(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. ......fade out.)
**************************************
(Video-footage, Main Event last episode 1:30):
David Taylor slams SD to the mat and goes for the cover 1....2.....Jones barely kicks out. Taylor pulls SD off the canvas and Irish-Whips him across the ring off the far ropes, then gets himself in position for a back body drop! JONES comes off the ropes and drops an elbow onto the back of Taylor's head, knocking him to the mat. Then Jones uses a FALLING HEAD BUTT and covers for the 1,2,3!
(Voice-over): (Big sigh) Hello wrestling aficionados, time again for ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING, right here on KPBA CHANNEL 58! Get ready for an hour of the top rated UHF show in Alaska! We regret to inform you that Wasilla High School hockey legend and KPBA Sports Anchor Milt "Sticks" Hanson is under the weather, we wish him a speedy recovery. Tonight's host will be (big sigh again) THE WORLD'S SMARTEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL WRESTLING MANAGER IN ALL THE KNOWN WORLD.......oh boyyyy.....Nikita Breznikov.........(boos echo through the studio as Nikita makes his way to the podium)
BREZ: DA...tank you for the welcome you capitalist dawgs....Finally a host worthy to bring you the exciting acshun of APAPW, I myself Nikita Breznikov will raise de ratings even higher than dat miserable Mr. Hansoon! Many great star appearink tonight such as my comrade Iron Mike Sharpe, who vill, along wit Moose Morrowski, face the cowardly and low team of Avalanche Buzz Tyler and Big Tex MacKenzie. ...dat is your main ewent! We start out things with the rather boorink, Rick McGraw right after dese capitalist pig commercials...watch!!!
*Ch. 58 Weather Watch/Granny's Nook and Cranny Antiques*
(Back from commercial, an irritated Breznikov address the TV audience through the booing of the ringside fans) BREZ: Enuff wit da booing, you ungrateful Americans, you are most fortunate that I am your host! I will not tolerate your insubordination. ..SILENCE! Let me see, I'm not to good wit da englush....(reads the sponsorship plug)...Let me paraphrase...The followink opening contest is sponsored eggclusively by our donating sponsor KROHLS GROCERY STORE, 413 Main St. Prudhoe Bay. Blah,blah, Hot Dogs, blah ,blah blah toilet cleaner turty percent off....go there capitalist dogs......now we go to de ring da?
Rick McGraw vs Frankie Williams. Another fine outing for McGraw. Despite some signs of life from Williams, Rick dominates this one, and is on his game. After turning Frankie into a human pretzel, McGraw turns to his power advantage and pins Frankie after a small offensive burst with an airplane spin.
BREZ: (YAWNING).....wow that was wery,wery, excitink NOT!! Of course they would be carryink McGraw out on a stretcher, if he faced any one of my men......da RISINK SUNS or IRON MIKE SHARPE. ...(crowd chants for Milt)...ENOUGH!!! We continue with the best ALASKAN PUBLIC ACCESS PRO WRESTLING PROGRAM ever after these not so important commercial messages. ....don't touch that dial. ....
*Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Attorneys at Law/Pfister Proctology*
Back from the commercial break, we go right to the action as the bell rings, and Bruise Brother Don Harris takes on Roy Welch. Despite giving up nearly 10 inches in height, and 100lbs in weight Welch holds his own...for a while. But he just can't put the big 6'8 272 lb, powerhouse Harris on his back for the pin, or make him submit. Don drops the hammer down and tosses Roy all over the ring, before pinning him after a BIG BOOT.......
BREZ: Dat was a ting of beauty, Mr. Harris was magnificent, such brutality, such chaos in the ring....only my men can do it better than he. Up next swine, we will see the also amazink, Mike Masters as he will crush the long-haired hippie and one-half of the cowards known as the "California Dreamers" Johnny Ace ....now watch your propaganda. ....ve will return da....
*Prudhoe Bay V.F.W. Post #3476/The Slippery Sealion Bar and Grill*
BREZ: QUICKLY go to the ring....how does Milt say it......LET'S DO DIS......
In a hotly contested match Mike Masters and Johnny Ace duke it out the entire match allotted time (10:00). Masters nearly won on two occasions, but spurred by the crowd, Ace was able to fight back! Johnny even had Mike in an abdominal stretch, but Masters was able to hip toss him before he had to submit. They fought inside and outside the ring! Masters gets Ace into his MASTER-LOCK just as time runs out. The match ends in a DRAW.
BREZ: Lucky for Ace, The time-keeper rang the bell early I think....saving him the disgrace of defeat.....so sad that you people like that long haired freak.....truly the dominant performance was by Mike Masters.......MAIN EVENT with a real MAN ....Iron Mike Sharpe is next....keep watchink, we vill return......
*Emmet's Outdoor Inc/ACME Pawn*
BREZ: OH DA.....Main Event time is here, time for Tyler and MacKenzie to be crushed, and for all you weaklings to cry as you watch your heroes being defeated....if dis match is not finished in the allotted time, which I highly doubt, we will show you the fall of Tyler and Tex at the beginnink, of next veeks broadcast.This Main Event match is brought to you exclusively by donating sponsoor, and busiest business in all of how you hipsters say it P-BAY. .....Bruno's BAIL Bonds and LOANS, 706 Court St. N. You get put in jail, day get you out.....FOR A PRICE. Back in Mother Russia, you gent sent to Siberia, or maybe a gulag or the SALT MINES....anyway many thanks for the sponsorship.The inevitable winners Sharpe/Morrowski are waiting in the ring bring out the lambs for the slaughter......
Mike Sharpe/Moose Morrowski wait in the ring but not for long as Buzz Tyler and Tex MacKenzie rush to the ring, slide in.....and Sharpe/Moose take a quick powder to the outside and the crowd gives them the business! The referee gets Tyler/Tex into their corner and their opponents return to the ring. Tex and Moose start things off and they start with a bang. Eventually a hair-pull into the corner by Sharpe and he and Moose begin to put the hurt on Tex, while the ref keeps Tyler from rushing in. Some solid double-teaming and soon MacKenzie is on the mat drooling in the clutches of Iron Mike's mouth ripper. After a copius amount of punishment Tex is able to make the tag......AND it's AVALANCHE TIME!! Soon Moose is out on the floor and Sharpe is begging in the corner, but Buzz drills him right in the kisser....as the crowd screams for more....
BREZ: THESE capitalist dogs are cheating!....this is most unfortunate, but we are runnink out of time, hopefully my comrades will overcome the trangressions being perpetrated upon them by the cowards MacKenzie and Tyler. We will bring you the conclusion however it may end on our next broadcast. ......until then this is NIKITA BREZNIKOV sayink! Gouda-bye American Swine!!!!
(North To Alaska by Johnny Horton plays as the end credits roll. ......fade out.)
